I know we've had this discussion before, but I'm really not. I am, but I'm not. Does that make sense? I know it doesn't. Look, in the right situation, I can be friendly. If I'm bored or SWEATING, this is not the time. {Unless you're cute.} Another gym stalker today. Let's make this easy. Multiple choice.

Stalking people at the gym is
a) wack.
b) lame.
c) scary.
d) unacceptable.

If you said e all of the above, you win the prize!! 16 more days of Jameiltastic posts!!!!!!!!!!!

Your boy at the gym today. First, if you look 40, I know how black people age. That means you're at least 45 or 50. I wouldn't be interested if you were 35. A 10 year age gap is ridiculous. Don't get offensive if this is your situation. It's just not for me. My parents were 9 years apart. My mom said no more than 5 years. I dated a guy who was a little more than 8 years older than me. We actually had a really good time together. My best date ever, in fact. But he ended up breaking up with me because I couldn't see myself getting married in the next year (I was 22 at the time). I'm older and I still can't see myself getting married in the next year. I need to know my future husband for more than a few months before I walk down the aisle. Geez. Biological clock-having self.

The guy at the gym today. Sigh. He spoke when I was walking out of the locker room. Then again when I walked from the elliptical to the stationary bike. Then when I went upstairs to the indoor track, he's eyeballing me as I walk around. When I come downstairs, he follows me from machine to machine, always at the next one over. Then when I go back up to the track to escape, he eye stalks me some more as I walk, then stretch. I tried to stretch out the stretching forever in hopes that he would just get bored and leave. Wrong. (I guess stretching isn't really the best way to get someone to vamoose, huh? Bah. I needed to and I like to so whatever.) I'm seeing all of this mostly out of the corner of my eye because by the 3rd move, I'm working terribly hard not to encourage him in any way.

While he's pressing out a set, I scurry down to do some more ab work on the decline bench hoping I can duck out before he notices since he's on the other side of the gym. I hop down the stairs and.... SAFE!! I make it into the locker room without being accosted, grab my stuff, walk out.

.......... and THERE HE IS!! STALKER!! He speaks. I give a grunt and keep walking. Come on dude. That's not cool. Don't eye stalk me then follow me to the locker room! Ugh.


Chris said...


Anonymous said...

yaaaay for all of the above ... do i win something??? ha! you had me rollin on the floor laughin ... Im all with you on the friendly ... I am only friendly at appropriate times ... stalker mos def not cool ... creepy much?

Adei von K said...


"...... AND THERE HE IS!!!!"


No ma'am, the 17th commandment is "thou shalt not stalk". its in the fairly new testament.

and that black don't crack thing is so true. i bet he was 50 years old.

Southerner in Suomi said...

See after the second time speaking, I woulda gave him the ice grill.

And if catch him looking after that, I'm turning around and asking you "what the fuck is wrong with you!?!?!?" If he does it again, I'm going to the front desk! That is disgusting.

Workout time is supposed to be your peace time and nobody's messing it up for me dammit!!!!

One Man’s Opinion said...

You should expect Stalkers with gams like those, young lady.

Jameil said...

chris... what i do?

cali... i told you what you win girl! 16 more days of the daily! december 1st i can't imagine i'll be anywhere near a computer. i'm working on my friendliness outside of the gym.

stace... lolol. and not the fairly new testament!! hilarious! 50!! 50 years old.

v... tho i've never seen him before and i was there outside of my regular time, i try not to be rude since i spend a fair bit of time there. he's buff so i guess he does, too. crossing fingers i won't see him again.

Jameil said...

man... i wear pants at the gym! they're spandex... but still!

Rell said...

Haha, that's really funny.

I've never been a gym stalker but I will say it's really difficult to focus sometimes, when a good looking woman walks in in some tight shorts and is like doing all these thigh and ab exercises.

Anonymous said...

um I would take Taye Diggs if he looked 40
*watching private practice*

Zee said...

I've never understood the purpose of the gym stalker. You'd think natural selection would have taken them out of existence a long time ago.

Oh, and TAG! You're it.

Please pop by my blog for further information.


GreatWhyte said...

You could be limiting yourself... a 10 year age gap when you're at a certain age is not that big of a deal. Now 16 and 26... not so much. 24 and 34 is nothing. Trust me- something to be said for a man who truly has a mature experience based on actual experiences and not just maturity for maturity's sake.
The stalker... not so much.

tiff said...

the last time I had a gym stalker, he wanted to talk to me about how he could help me lose 10-15 pounds! Instant enemy.

Nice to meet you!

Rashan Jamal said...

LMAO - Gym stalkers. Stalking is funny when it happens to someone else. I had that 5 year rule too, except mine was 5 years older or 5 years younger.

Jameil said...

rell... its funny and refreshing to hear someone admit that. lol. here's to not being a stalker! cheers!

everything... i kind of like that show. and yes, a taye diggs look alike minus too much baggage is nice.

zee... i hate tags. i will only do it if its not soul sucking. i think natural selection takes far longer to kick in than we would like. think about how many creepy old men there are out there. shouldn't you be gone already under that theory?!?

x... i understand the limitations. but i also understand that my dad is 61 and needing to continue working until my sister gets out of college. he was 37 when she was born. i don't want me or my husband to be in that position. i want a few years to get to know, marry and relax before having children. i guess i'll get that relaxing time if i don't meet anyone i mesh with in the next 5 years, huh? i would be concerned about someone who didn't feel pulled toward marriage before 34. look, we could go all day about the different thoughts i've had about people way older than me so i'll just stop here.

tiff... WHAT!?!? bastard. let's get on the committee to ban him from the gym.

rj... hahahaha!! i know, right!?! dudes can do the five years younger... sometimes. women, often not. i'm not your average 25 y.o. and i would emotionally and verbally kick some stupid 20 y.o. in the face. i have a friend who won't do younger under any circumstances, not even a few months. i'm not that closed, but i'm cautious.

1969 said...

This is why you're hot!

p_nami said...

Then stop wearing the booty shorts to the gym;-)

yet another black guy said...

what the?! oh no, gots to get the mace.