Welcome Back...

Me! To the gym. I know this makes me addicted but I missed you so much. The sweating but not the grunting. The satisfaction of knowing I JUST BEAT YOU!! TAKE THAT OLD MAN WITH THE BOW LEGS!!! You better believe I race people daily on the track. And if you're on the bike next to me I don't feel good until my RPMs and level are higher than yours. You didn't even know this is a competition AND I'M WINNING!!

Me! To Charlotte!!!! 9 days from RIGHT NOW I will be en route to the queeeeeeen city! I will actually get to go to my cousin's bridal shower. I also looked at her registries (you know you have to have multiple!). I have 3 cousins getting married this year-- May, June & September. None of them have wedding websites. What the... People. We are in the 21st century. How is this even possible?? I know people with 2 and 3 sites and y'all don't have one between the 3 of you. I'm about to do them for them. They need to get it together. But anyway I was looking at the Crate&B.arrel registry for the May cousin. LOVE!! Can't wait to buy stuff from that for her. Plus she's so fab. I'm also planning lots of food and drink outings (of course!!) I also plan on getting some therapy. It's so necessary. This time, I've also planned in some down time... kind of. I know y'all know me and know better than that. I actually don't have my itinerary yet but I have a feeling I'll be very bored in the next 24 hours. You know what that means... itinerary time! Lol.

Baseball season!! I used to play softball. My sister was obsessed with it though. For Mother May I, we all had personalized moves outside the regular ones. I don't remember what mine was but hers was "Wanna play softball?" Hilarity. You had to crouch into the batter's stance for how ever many you'd been asked to do. Too funny.

We loved watching baseball as kids. My mom would even let us stay up to watch the world's series. That is until the strike. It took so long and then when they came back nobody could catch anymore! It was pitiful. And stole my love for the game. I didn't get it back until I moved back here. My soror Tiffany who was still in undergrad at Hampton is from here and was here for the summer when I first moved here. For my birthday, we went to a Pirates game and I loved it! It was so fun and I've been hooked ever since. But only on live games. I don't do t.v. The home opener is next Monday. I'm not going (1- it's sold out, 2- it'll be cold (last year it was 35, this year it will be about 53))but I'll be going to another game! Can't wait. Nachos, I love you!

Jolly Jameil! Man alive. I had a ROUGH week and weekend. You know I was sick last week. I'm much better now, thanks for asking. You know what sick means... CRANKY! I was not a pleasant person to be around and my coworkers were sick and/or cranky, too which made it not fun to be there. People were really getting on my nerves in general. I had to go home and read the Bible for like an hour yesterday to get the upsetednessocity out of my body. Talking to my line sister helped, too. She can almost always calm me down. She is definitely one of the calmest people I know. Love it.

Mad.onna! Love your new song!!

Shani!! Your blog is mahvelous dahlink!

Mr. Brown... Can't wait to see the new doc.

Why yes, yes, it is funky. Y'all know that song makes me giggle.


Reasons Not To Get Engaged

People. Please stop rushing into marriage. IT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE!! I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than attached before God, my family, friends and all his family and friends to someone who is not meant for me. In no particular order...

1) Because your ex did.
2) Because your best friend did.
3) Because you have been planning your wedding for so long and have a wedding binder already with all the details and only need to insert groom here.
4) Because you've already tried on wedding dresses and know exactly which one you're gonna get.
5) Because you had to get on a waiting list for the perfect location (which you did years in advance before you even met your current boyfriend) AND THE DATE'S COMING UP!
6) Because you're not getting any younger.
7) Because your significant other's not getting any younger.
8) Because your mother told you to.
9) Because you guys have been together so long it's either this or break up.
10) (For all you S.teveHarvey listeners, that's "Numbaa teeeeen!"
Because you already have 5 kids together. (That might actually be the best reason of all of the ones on my list but it depends on the circumstances.)

These are all true stories. Please don't get added to the list. But I know you have some! Spill it!

*ALSO... It's the baby sister's birthday today! Happy 24th Elaina! (You are mad old.)


But I Already Do...

Rashan (jerk (soft j)) wants to know what would happen if we ruled the blog world. Hence the title. It's why I wear the five-inch magenta pumps and pose magnificently.

If everyone did what they were supposed to in my blog world, here's what they would do (some people need a sippy cup of ACT RIGHT!!):

Post. Y'all knew that was coming. Once a week or a flurry of three or four posts, then nothing else for a week or a month or more. And without prompting. No "Hey you! Post!" They'd just do it. There is nothing in your life so utterly overwhelming (unless you or someone close to you is dying) that you can't get to your computer at least twice a week. Especially when you can post from your cell phone now. And if people with children find it in themselves to post 5 times a week, SNK (single, no kids) people can at least find it in themselves to get on board for three.

Grow up. Read someone who writes above your level and think about elevating how you approach situations. You are a work in progress which is marvelous. We all are. It'd be nice if your writing would reflect that. You should be able to notice a difference in where you were 6 months or a year ago. If not, you're not doing something right.

Are you smarter than a 3rd grader? For some of you the answer is no. It shows in your grammar. I might give you a pass on SOME grammar issues (normally not punctuation) since there's no grammar check on most blogging programs. HOWSOMEVER! Spelling. For the love of all that is holy! If you don't attack your post with a spell check!! Everyone has some words here and there and faces issues where you use the wrong letter but it's an actual word. I (head of the blog world order) am not going to get all bent out of shape. But when your blog is barely legible? I need you to get that together. And let's not forget those of you who wRiTe LiKe ThIs. I just need to know. Are you mentally infirmed? Because if you tell me you are, I'll understand why that takes you less time to write iN tHaT mAnNeR than it would for you to figure out what profligate, anachronistic, and recherche mean.

"You ain't gotta lie C.raig." If you were following the Jameil Blog Order, you would stop telling people you're back "for real" and really be back. Or you would just be gone. Leave, then. We'll be alright. The blog world will move on. Maybe I'll leave, too. I'm considering a timely exit. It will be fun for everyone.

Beggars can't be choosy. We've been over this too many times. Stop begging people to read your blog. You know what? I've decided begging for comments is beneath everyone, too. You don't want to comment? Don't. And don't look for me to comment on yours, either. Turnabout is fair play and all that. No one needs or wants EVERYONE to read their blog. What really is the point in that? To try to take over the world. You're not pinky, but I'm the brain.

I'm not trying to take over the world. I already have. Get there.


Top Chef Chicago Ep. 3

I missed the first few minutes of this because of my food obsession... I was at T.rader Joe's. Yes, 1969, I did get the pot stickers. I will let you know how they taste later. I also got the fruit floes popsicles. Mmmmmm!! Strawberry is my favorite. They have real fruit in them and TASTE LIKE IT! Because I missed the first few minutes, though, I missed one of my favorite parts, THE QUICK FIRE!! SON OF A!!

This episode was all about going to people's houses, stealing their food (ok asking for it) to create meals for the annual block party. I don't like corn dogs. There was a group that did those, sliders (mmmm! y'all know how I feel about a burger!), some other stuff and pasta salad. The pasta salad and corn dogs were determined to be the bottom dishes. The giant made the corn dogs. (He still might not be CJ tall. That was a huge man. And the visiting chefs would say stuff like, "You're quite tall chef." And he would say something like, "Thank you sir." Thank you because I didn't notice? If you hadn't pointed that out I might have gotten the 28 shorts instead of the 28 longs? I don't get this. Pointing out to short or tall people that they are so... is stupid.)

There's a lesbian couple competing as separate chefs. I got pissed when at first it looked like they were a team. I was like WHAT IS THIS!??! THERE AIN'T NO TEAMS ON TOP CHEF!! Then I calmed it on down. For this challenge, they were on the same team. The one part of this couple (Z) got left with the wack dish-- the pasta salad. She didn't speak up even though she didn't want it. Here we go again. This week they learned from last week's group challenge to TASTE EVERY DISH. They all thought the pasta was fine, the judges all said it was bland. You all look stupid. They did NOT heed the common sense theme for all reality shows requiring a group, "IF. YOU. HAVE. RESERVATIONS. SPEAK. UP. OR. YOU. COULD. GO. HOME." I'm tired of having to say this. They sent home corn dog man "because you make these every day and should've known they would not hold up for hours." They did not send home Z even though her pasta is bland.

I BLAME THE PRODUCERS!!! They know this early in the show it is more fruitful drama-wise and more people will tune in to watch the lesbian couple than the giant. WACK!! You sent people home for two consecutive weeks for having poorly-seasoned food. One of those also broke the cardinal reality tv rule: SPEAK UP!! This chick did both of those and stayed. I'M CRYING FOUL!! Y'all made me mad producers. Do better next week i.e. STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN!!



I know this is horrid and not socially acceptable but I have a ginormous pile of laundry at the foot of my bed. If you read my twitter on the sidebar you already know this about me. I go through these phases with laundry where (and someone else blogged about this too, Siobhan?) I either have to wash everything in sight or I can't wash anything. Rarely in between. But I don't really like when I have all of my clothes washed. I don't have enough drawer space. That sounds bad doesn't it? But it's true. Emptying out my closet also forces me to get creative and put together combinations from clothing I haven't worn in months or years.

I know you're supposed to get rid of clothes you haven't worn in years but there are a couple of button-downs I keep hanging on to. There are also some that I've long gotten rid of. However, I definitely need to clean out the bottom of my closet. There are lots of clothes down there.

It's rare for me to wash less than 4 loads of clothes. It's not rare for me to wash 6 or more. 6 is my usual number. Once I get started, WATCH OUT! I'm like that with ironing, too. It's soothing for some reason (the ironing, not the washing). I iron one thing then go around the house looking for other things to iron. Not jeans though. I don't iron jeans. I never met anyone who did until I got to college. This golf-dressing dude I was friends with freshman year. What in the world!??! You STARCH and IRON your JEANS!?!? So from then on, no matter what my jeans look like, I refuse to iron them. It's casual wear. If I want to look that pressed I'll put on some slacks. I mean really. What next?! Your underwear!?

Speaking of which, no not underwear, but my friend had me cracking UP when she told me she ironed the sheets when her mother-in-law came to town. I was DYING!! She said, "Girl I'm not gonna have her saying I don't know how to keep a house!" I could not stop cracking up. Remember how I told you I love Here Come the N.ewlyweds? The black couple is so fab. And I've also decided I want Joy & Kesi to hurry up and get married and go on that show. But the black couple on there now? The husband is HILARIOUS. And she's so good-natured. They're definitely the couple you want to see win and that you would want to hang out with on a regular basis. They kind of remind me of my cousin and her child's father. I wish they would go ahead and get married. Apparently he's the offending party when it comes to that. Just awful. That made me sad because they are so hilarious together and fun.

Watching that show definitely makes me know I have to marry someone who has me cracking up all the time. He needs to know how to be serious but not HAVE to be serious. I've definitely met some dudes were I wanted to start singing Pcat dolls songs to them on some "Chill out!!" type stuff. (It's insane to me how old some of those chicks are! My goodness! That redhead looks old enough to be my momma! God-willing I'll be that flexible ever when I'm her age.) How is it people don't know yet that plastic surgery on the face too often makes you look hard? It's the plastic. Similar techniques yield similar results and everyone starts looking fake-- you know-- plastic. Botox is frightening to me, too. But I do like to point out the botox. That's the main reason I watch the AM shows. They always have lots of cosmetics to point out in their guests. (Even further off topic but Bravo has the worst website ever.)

If I'm not laughing, you are seriously doing something wrong. I LOVE to laugh. And I do it full-force. You're not laughing if you're not throwing your head back and guffawing. Belly laugh, falling on the floor. Whatever you got to do to get that out of your system, let it go! Hahahahaha.

Those of you worried about my laundry will be overjoyed to know that I woke up at 3:15 this morning and started washing and washing and washing. A load of towels, 2 loads of darks, a load of brights already done. A load of dark delicates (i.e. sweaters, scarves, my velvet blazer) is in the wash right now. We're gettin things done! I also need to finish my homework for Bible class today. While I'm on this cleaning frenzy I may as well take out the trash, wash dishes and sweep the kitchen floor. The recycling has got to go, too. I have to take it to the park which is ridiculous to me. What backwards community discourages recycling? Wack.

Liz told me not to go to the gym this week and to just rest up instead. (I'm still looking for some vegetable-filled recipes if you want to slide some of your faves my way.) I promise it's taking every bone in my body to not go!! I did do 10 minutes of yoga this morning. If you're saying that doesn't count you obviously have never done yoga. Especially since I've been coughing so hard my abs and back have been getting a workout... yeah... like that. Now I want something good to eat. I'm going to T.rader Joe's tonight. Can't wait. Anyone have any favorites there I should try?


Anti & Social

I'm both right now...

Is that weird?


I don't feel like being bothered at all... mostly because I'm still coughing. My medicine is a 4-hour formula which "may cause drowsiness." Y'all know what that means. Mellymell is going to sleep. Then, when it wears off, every 4 hours like clock work, I'm awake again. 3 times yesterday until it was time to finally get up to go to work. Fun times I tell ya, fun times. That's the reason for the anti.

But the social? I can't explain that one. I'm super excited about the baby's birthday. That's right! My little sister is turning 24 on Sunday! Yay! People always feel some sort of way when I call her my little sister. She is my little sister. I don't care if she's bigger than me (and has been for at least 16 years) and only 19 months younger, that's still younger and I'm still the oldest, running the show. Know that!! I really love her when we don't have to live in the same space for more than a few days.

I think we should all do a celebratory dance! Give it on up to homeless.ville!!

I need to go here and here (at least twice) and here and here (OMG I'VE BEEN THRU STATE COLLEGE AT LEAST 4 TIMES AND I DIDN'T KNOW THEY HAD THOSE THERE!!! CURSES!!!) and here. And this Spring C.outure party thrown by one of my fellow HU alums!! And anything I'm forgetting? CHARLOTTE HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pittsburgh... KICK ROCKS!!


Mindspacing 3/25

First: let's get this out of the way. Don't bring things up if you don't want to discuss it. I will quickly dismiss you whether it's to sign off of I.M. or shut down the phone call, whatever. It's weird that people don't know this about me. I thought I made it pretty clear. Apparently not because I usually get shocked reactions... well now you know.

I'm feeling a bit better. I'm not nearly as tired today. I did go to the doctor, though, and she prescribed a decongestant that's also a cough suppressant so I should be able to sleep without being racked with cholera. Yay! And 1969 & Rashan sent me check-up e-mails. How lovely. I didn't even get that from Stace. I really need new friends.

I also had C.hickFil.A today and yesterday! I didn't go during Lent because their fries... Praise Jesus for their fries! I'd rather not be tempted so I just kept my distance. As in you keep your fantastic waffle-y goodness over there and I will keep my fry-free Lenten self over here but He rose and now I can eat fries!

I looked in the mirror this morning and was a bit alarmed. Remember how when my mom saw me back in August she told me not to lose another ounce? Well I think I did. I may not be that skinny but I looked emaciated to me!! You know black women can have the other sort of BDD. We don't think we look too fat, we think we look too skinny!! Too funny. So I might not be going to the gym this week.

Ok that is a lie. I couldn't even keep it up for 5 seconds!! Pitiful!! Three times a week is a healthy amount. I haven't been this week yet but I know there is no way I can skip all week long. I work out so I can eat whatever I want because y'all know I love to eat! Did not eating fast food do this to me because I looked extra small when I looked in the mirror this morning. I DON'T KNOW!! There's this suuuuper skinny toned chick at the gym. Uhh... I don't wanna look like her. There are two of them actually that I see all the time. I don't want to look like either of them. The other one does those competitions where she flexes and shows how manly muscular she is. I've heard her talking to people about them. Her and her husband have also started training people. Excuse me. Why would you want to look like that? That's the other extreme of being fat if you ask me. And not attractive. I'll pass.

All I know is I don't want to look too skinny when I go back home because at homecoming, it was a bit unnerving to hear "You lost a lot of weight!" 50 million times. I lost probably 12 lbs. But when you're 5'1 it looks like more. I know I'll really hear that at home but only at church so I should be okay. Everyone pray! What if I told everyone who asked, "Oh it's so easy! After a while you don't even notice the hunger! I only eat once a week. You should try it!"

I forgot I need to tell more people to have parties. My friend Tasha seems really excited (the one who came to visit me 2 years ago). She keeps sending me events and calling. I love it. She's one of my middle school crew. We go back 13 years. 7th grade baby! Me, her & Meagan. There were 3 others but I don't talk to them anymore. Meagan & Tasha talk to one of them, the other two disappeared off the face of the earth, then found me on myspace.

Speaking of that. One of the ones who found me on myspace only told Tasha (not any of the rest of us) she was getting married. Then none of us were invited to the shower or wedding. Then Tasha found out she was pregnant a month or two before the baby was born. We weren't invited to that shower either. Tasha (who has always talked to her the most) went to see her in the hospital and hasn't talked to her much since. I sent out my "I'm coming home, holla, etc." message on myspace and she's with the, "You should come see me and the baby." Wow... You are special. Only if my mom wants to see him. Did I forget to tell my mom about that?? I can't remember. Ah well. That's all folks.

*Side note: did you know you can cough hard enough to crack a rib (whooping cough) or give yourself a hernia? That's what I call disgusting. That's also what propelled me to the doctor's office this morning!


*Cough Cough*

I think I have Ebola. Or whooping cough or dysentery. Something exotic. Stace-like. I'm coughing and my throat is sore. I feel weak and while I was in Siberia at work, I kept getting chills. It's normally cold in there but my reaction to it was extreme. The baby needs to go to sleep because she doesn't feel good. Booooo. I don't even want to walk myself upstairs. Who shall carry me. My dad's up there. How do you think he would feel if I called him (on the phone) to tell him to come down and carry me up? Let's try it...


Thank You

It was 25 degrees this morning when I went to church with my wool skirt on. Yes, wool, on Easter. I left work to go to one of my favorite local restaurants. It was surprisingly not packed. I had one of the specials, a salmon and chorizo scramble with black beans, 2 eggs, green peppers and onions topped with a chipotle Hollandaise sauce and served on corn tortillas with a side of potatoes. So essentially a Spanish-style eggs benedict. I could've done without the salmon and there wasn't enough chorizo. Actually the eggs, black beans, pepper and onions with that FANTASTIC Hollandaise sauce would've been enough for me. I don't know that I can ever eat another meal there without it being smothered in that. Wow... just wow...

I was more than a bit concerned about my naked legs but nothing was open near the church of course. But I walked past a group of older teenage girls, maybe around 19 who I overheard say "Ooooh that's cute! Her coat matches her skirt." I had on my pink wool skirt, which was peeking out from the bottom of my pink and white tweed-esque wool coat. I was also wearing a white blazer with pink and purple flowers. One of my co-workers said I looked like an Easter egg! Lol. I also did an easter egg hunt with 25 phrases by our crazy hilarious meteorologist. It was a huge hit. He said it was his best Easter ever. Too funny.

Today our Easter sermon was about how often God shakes up your life to make you pay attention. And how sometimes things begin to move shakily in your life (like the earthquake preceding the angel rolling away the stone in front of Jesus' tomb) because God needs you to pay close attention to what is coming next-- the path he wants your life to take.

Basically God is saying, "HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO???????? ARE YOU LISTENING??????" And if the answer is no, His response is "Here let me get your attention."

That got me thinking about two of the most recent life-changing events in my life. The first was the enormous fight with my sister which preceded my moving to Pittsburgh. I still don't know that she understand how that impacted me. Have I ever told y'all about it? Probably not but another day. I searched the archives and I've mentioned it in passing but never the entire story.

The second was the breakup. What a dramatic post. 17 months seems like such a short amount of time in retrospect. I had convinced myself to align my life with his without making room for God when I needed (and still need) to be God-centered and allowing someone else into my life as well. When he broke up with me I was heartbroken mostly because he was my best friend first and I just couldn't fathom why he would do this. After the break-up, being raised in the church, one of my first thoughts was there is no other way past this than by going to church. I was right! I've never been so excited about Easter before but look what I get to celebrate!!

He called me yesterday but didn't leave a message. He also texted me "Happy Easter" today. He usually reaches out every couple of months or so. Sometimes I respond, sometimes I don't. I wasn't available either time but I called him back after church. I was going to thank him for being the earthquake to shake me closer to God. For helping me get to a place, just by removing himself from my life, forcing me to focus my attention where it should have been anyway, ON GOD, to get to the place where I even more completely understand whatever happens, is for my good and that with FAITH I can move mountains. I will be better than alright. I'll be just fine. Fabulosity owners HOLLA!!!!!!!!!!!!


Work It!

I had love in my mouth today. A big fat juicy C.hili's burger-- the jalapeno smokehouse. When a jalapeno fell out, I would pop it in my mouth and wiggle with joy. Let me tell you. YUM!! Whatever you're eating is not hot enough if it doesn't make you need a tissue at least halfway through. And then you have to keep going. DON'T BE A PUNK!! MAN UP!! Lol. I love spicy food. Glad I don't get heartburn. That would suck. When fave roomie was preggers she had the craziest heartburn. SCARY!! Another one of my friends is knocked up (lol I think that's the most hilarious phrase ever) but it's still very early so I'll wait to say who. Especially since I didn't ask her if I could announce on the blog. Lol.

Guess who has the Danit.y Kane cd and LOVES IT!! YES ME!! This is so my new workout cd. I'll be able to stay in there an inordinate amount of time. This is their first single. I like it but it's not their best song on the cd.

I looooove Dawn's song.

My fave tho?

Yeah!! Can't wait until the season finale! Right Joy?!

Also can someone tell me what I'm supposed to wear for Easter when the temperature is supposed to be 40 for the high. That means it'll be in the 30s all day. I'll pass. And it snowed today. *throws down mic* At least it didn't stick. *picks mic back up* BUT IT'S COLD!! *throws that joint back down for good and n*aomi campbell walks it out...*


My Third Letter to God*

My head hurts and I'm cranky but that's neither here nor there. I have a question. Will I be able to see my feet when I'm pregnant? I know that's years away but I'm sayin. I was just thinking about it in the shower the other day and it was weird to me that I probably won't be able to... not while standing anyway. I like my feet. Ooh! Speaking of feet. You know how my aunts have hammer toes (I just threw up a little bit in my mouth) and generally ugly feet? They say this runs in the family and their feet used to look normal like mine, too. PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISN'T TRUE!! If it is, can I be exempt??? Thanks God. You're the best.


*Click here for the 2nd letter.

Out of Control

Get some etiquette. Learn the rules. Repeat after me. Do not (do not) EVER (EVER) come to someone else's blog (come to someone else's blog) to publicize your own (to publicize your own).

Violators will be deleted without question. I'm over it.


Top Chef Season 4: Episode 2

Why do you have so many ankle tats? This one chick looks like Rachael D.ratch from SNL. Did I show you my fave SNL skits from last week? I didn't.

Those obnoxious kids whose parents don't ever shut them up.

And Tracey telling Tina what's what!

It's a quick fire. Of course you can only use 5 ingredients. Y'all are wack sometimes. I love quick fires. This dude listening to music while he's supposed to be shopping. Eucalyptus? Gross. This other genius paid for his stuff and ran off. Niiiice. Who sells frozen meat at a farmer's market? Molecular gastronomy is kind of scary to me but there's a place in Pittsburgh that does it and I kind of want to try it... except it's $125/person. Anyone want to buy me dinner?

This guy who curses every other word is offensive. I hope he gets eliminated. This dude says he can only think about a certain amount of things at a time... seriously? The people who are in their element always fall flat. Every time. Turnips though? Gross. And he won.

Incorporating meat in a vegetarian diet? Come on. COME ON!! Liz. Do you want some bacon? There are so many fab veggie dishes they could make. Fake chefs. And the people who have reservations and don't speak up are the ones who get sent home. They're all Type A personalities... well the good ones anyway. Are you really worried about her dish when she's the one not using meat? She's playing it safe.

This girl just fell running around the store. Sigh. STOP RUNNING!! Food in the grocery store doesn't move!! Except lobsters. Wait for it. You really want table decor?? What in the world? I ust need it to taste good and look good. I could care less about the table. Mushrooms & blueberries? Scary. Squid seviche!!! Mmmm. I can't stand foams. That is not food. It's the top of a bubble bath.

I just saw milk... I want some. Those mushrooms look disgusting. Don't serve that. It looks like poo. Padma's dress is ugly. Beet salad? Y'all already know. RUTABAGA AGAIN!! Why did you serve the nasty mushrooms only to the judges after you pulled them? So stupid. This one dude was like a girl giggling because his "mentor" (the guy whose food he really admires) loved his dish. Lol. I can't lie. One of my college professors told me she was proud of me and I was screaming and yelling and jumping around the house. Lolol. I couldn't help it! And his fave mentor picked his dish as the fave. That's cool. But he's twitching like he's on drugs. Celeb rehab? You don't have to be well-known if that's what's holding you back.

You didn't taste the mushrooms? Wow. Rutabaga overpowered? Who would've thought since it's DISGUSTING!!! The one who took the lead also didn't taste the dish? What in the heck!? What's with all these non-tasting chefs?!? I wonder if chefs watch this show. I wouldn't, and didn't, watch a show about becoming a producer.

AHHHHHHH!! I'm catching the 2nd showing and I almost ruined the surprise for myself by clicking on the show link to link to pics of the food!!!!!!! I would've been so upset!! Just 5 mins left and at the beginning there are so many mistakes you can never tell who's going adios. I did kind of think Val was going home. Sayonara sister. You've made some good friends? You might have been here 2 weeks. If that. Get out. We know how reality tv works. You don't know anyone in 2 weeks.



Clothes. Who needs them? They're just barriers to what needs to happen right now between you and me. So take them off and let's get to business. No? That's fine. It wasn't really a question or an offer.

I read somewhere that all women secretly think all men are going to murder them. That's true, but for me the scarier part is rape. I've written about rape before because so many of my friends have been raped or assaulted. One of their stories...

She was in college and one of her friends wanted to take her out on a date. She said sure and felt comfortable drinking with him. They got quite drunk. He walked her back to her room and thought she was so drunk she would willingly have sex with him. She wasn't THAT drunk. So she said no. He kept going. She said no again. He still kept going. She started crying and begged him to stop. He still kept going. He kept going...

By the time she called me, she had reported him to the university. He was found guilty, even though he denied it, because she had gotten a rape kit immediately afterward. He was expelled, but she still didn't feel safe. So she left school and went back home. Even 100 miles away from him, she couldn't sleep in her room alone so for months she slept on the floor in her parents' room.

I don't want that for me, for my friends, family or any woman (or man) ever again. That was the original confession not this. Are you happy now?

Bros Before H...

Well you know how the saying goes. It gets a bit confusing when you're a woman, though. Freshman year I met one of my closest guy friends because my roommate (the O.R.-- original roommate) braided hair for half of the freshman class. He (K) was among the many. At the beginning of the year I always went with her just so I could meet people... who almost always also happened to be male. I had a long-distance boyfriend (LDBF)(ugh) but I'm a social butterfly so I desired to know everyone on campus if possible. Since it wasn't, I knew many, many people in the freshman class. It actually is quite bizarre how many odd groups cross over. If you know someone, I know at least one person in that crew and for some strange reason, I'm sure.

When my boyfriend and I broke up at the end of freshman year, K took the opportunity to let me know he liked me as more than a friend and had for the entire year but wanted to respect my relationship. I was flattered but not interested. I was newly freed and he wasn't the first person on my radar. He did not let that stop him from continuing to be my friend. Fab!!

Sophomore year we all come back to school SO much older and wiser than we were... ha! I become friends with the person who would be my closest friend at Hampton after Stace left at the end of that year. We'll call her C. The boyfriend and I had gotten back together but around mid-September he just stopped communicating with me-- no email, no phone calls (neither of us had a cell back then), nothing. Of course slick K was there for it! Lol.

When our 2 year anniversary rolled around, LDBF & I had not spoken for 6 weeks. I told K, let's go on a date... on what would've been the 2 year. He was (rightly) a bit wary but willing... except he stood me up. Oh I was HEATED! He was like my bad I was blah blah blah. Some horrid excuse I don't even remember. We decided to give it another shot later in the week (it was a Wednesday). He stood me up AGAIN! Ok no. I was only trying to give him a chance because he liked me. I liked him as a friend but just wasn't into him as more. He acted upset when I told him it wasn't going to work and if we were going to preserve our friendship, no more setting up broken dates, matter of fact no more dates ever. That ship has sailed without anything more than a kiss on the cheek!

K had been around quite a bit because I used to sneak him and his best friend N up to my room after visiting hours (for those of you confused, the vast majority of black colleges do not have 24 hour visitation for the opposite sex). I would usually sign K out, then walk around the side of the building, open the door and let him in again. Hahahaha. Me, Stace, C, K & N would sit in my room listening to music (probably drinking), talking, acting crazy and hanging out. We had so much fun! It felt so collegiate. You know how by sophomore year you may or may not be convinced you're actually in college, living A Different World? That helped!

Around this time C decided she liked K. She didn't want to tell me because we were new friends and she wasn't sure I wasn't really into K... even though I said I wasn't. Shockingly, I actually meant it. You know how people say, "No, go ahead! Talk to him! It's fine!" and they're really seething inside that the person would dare to even ask!! Nope. Not the kid. So after much convincing I hooked them up. He was reluctant to go there, also not sure I wasn't going to suddenly turn into the kid from the exorcist and go off on him. I wasn't! Guys! I'm really ok with it! It was funny. I guess C & I living next door to each other added another element of strangeness.

It turns out though that K was not quite as into C as she was into him. Or he may have been but treated her with even more nonchalance-- sometimes not calling at all for days or whatever. I was friends with both of them and hearing both sides which of course annoyed me. I put a moratorium on one telling me about the other. I don't care! Then C caught extra feelings and for some reason decided she nearly hated K. So much so that it was more than a little uncomfortable for me to be friends with both of them... so despite our longer history (K & I), I chose C.

The odd situation was made even stranger by C continuing to talk to K whenever she felt like it even though I'd mostly cut off the friendship. BIZARRE. Then she became somewhat obsessed with him. Many drunken nights (probably at least once a week) would end with a phone call from C to K, usually involving some yelling and sometimes a visit. She would drive by K's GIRLFRIEND'S HOUSE (because by this time he had one). It was awful. I really could not continue to be friends with him after that because I was a bit embarrassed to have brought them together at some point. I wouldn't have if I'd known it would turn out to be a 3-year ordeal. Yes, 3 years. By the end of senior year, K and I were on a hi, bye level.

Now we've somewhat re-kindled our relationship, K & I. Only to the point where we can email, myspace or text each other. We also went to dinner at Homecoming. He was still standing folk up but at least this time I would get a text or phone call. Hilarity. Some things never change. C & I, for no apparent reason, have not spoken a single word, email, phone or otherwise in more than 3 years. Another one who stopped communicating. I don't know how I attract these people but the next one... at least I have the love of God because there would be nothing else to stop me from hunting him or her down and showing them what's what! Now, if you don't want me in your life, I don't want you in mine either. Let's move on.

This is my confession... I was a bad friend to K and really for no reason. I did not have to cut him out of my life so severely. In the future, however, I do not plan on repeating that mistake. My conclusion at the time was that you don't choose a guy over your female friends. Except that's supposed to apply when you're in a relationship and K & I most certainly were not. There's no reason to pick your female friends over your male friends. Neither person has a guarantee of loyalty. I don't have regrets because I believe everything happens for a reason but I don't believe at that time I made the right choice. What's done is done but it didn't have to go down like that.


Go Sit Down: Part I

This is actually Part II since yesterday's post was all about the beginning of this crazy, crazy, insane week which is threatening to make me yell to myself: GO SIT DOWN!! ("Go sit down, go sit down, GO SIDDOWN!!")

I almost didn't go meet Ace yesterday because I started watching my new tv crack online... Here Come the N.ewlyweds. I love this show! It's too funny. The black couple is my fave. They're the funniest and communicate with each other the best. The latest episode did bring out the prude in me, though, because everyone was confessing about sex and I'm all I mean COME ON!! What I do in the privacy of my bedroom with my future husband is between the two of us! Now get out my business!! Why are y'all making me discard my proper English again?

So anyway watching that show it was suddenly too late to take a nap. I had to take a shower and hit the road. I get to the restaurant and Ace's band is already into their set which was cool Irish music. I know it's bizarre for me to like it but I did. After they finished they're set we talked for a few minutes-- very cool guy. Then another set so I decided to have some Irish stew (with lamb, carrots, peas and a G.uinness-based broth). I also had two Irish beers-- Harp & S.mithwick's, which I learned is pronounced "Smit-icks." Good to know. I liked both. The Harp was paler but not too pale. Too pale and beers start tasting watery.

Then 6 rolled around and I had to leave. I got home, got on the net for a few minutes (addict) then went to bed around 7. Just shy of 5 hours later it was time to wake up. How's that for horrible? I'm used to my 7-9 hours of sleep per night. When I worked better hours (was that an alternate universe? another lifetime? a dream? no... just 3 years ago), sleep was not as important but when you're working in the middle of the night and throwing off your circadian rhythm (which is bad for you), sleep becomes that much more important. Your body is trained to be sleeping when I'm working. Bah humbug. Enough of that. Just know I paid for it when I woke up and then on the drive home. Yikes!

Tomorrow the tour of death crazy week continues. Gym, wash hair, nap, FOR REAL THIS TIME, Pharreal ("'cause he's the truth") concert. Thursday, recover, dinner with dad, "The Experience" which starts at a sushi restaurant which has great drinks. The rest of the agenda is TBD. (That's to be determined, Stace (y'all know she's acronymly challenged).) With this group that could mean anything... I'm not ready.

I also forgot there's a Lupe concert at Pitt. I have to ask our intern turned part time assignment desk editor (he was a GREAT intern) (since he's still a student) where it is and if it's free- which is clearly even better! But it's not a great idea for me to go to the concert since Easter is Sunday and I'll be at church. Speaking of which, I was all set to wear the dress I wore to Wynel's wedding (no pics there)-- white with blue flowers. But it's hard to wear such a spring style when the first day of spring (Thursday), it's supposed to SNOW!!!! And on Easter? The high will be 43. That means during the morning and most of the day it will be in the 30s. 30s!!!! Ol' fake Easter weather. Pittsburgh. I quit you.

Do you know I'm a captain for Making the Blog and I was given an assignment?? Why I oughta... so I've been busy thinking up something to confess. Let's spread the pain. Go on your blogs and confess something as well that you have never told your bloggers-- something serious and not funny. You have until Friday like the rest of us, but my post will probably be tomorrow. If you have suggestions for me or something burning you want to know, do fire away.

*My dad just walked in and said, "Jameil bought lunch! You're so pretty! Such a pretty pretty girl." Hilarity.


Miss Popularity

It's gonna be a busy week! I went to the gym after work today, then the mall. As soon as I finish this post I have to take a nap because I'm going to see former blogger Ace (I don't think he's posted since June!!) perform w/a band & in Irish bar downtown tonight. Well more like afternoon. I figure I'll head over there around 4, get there around 4:30 and leave at 6. I know that's crazy but c'est la vie when you have to be at work at 1 a.m. and he's not performing until 4-8. Plus it's still daylight so I shouldn't get snatched.

Tomorrow my schedule's free. No noon Bible study because we're doing joint Holy Week services all week with another church. I won't be attending because... yeah that whole sleep thing. I might go to the church office to volunteer, though. We'll see.

Wednesday I'm going to see Phar.rell with cool new co-worker.

Let me tell you how much I love that song!!!!!!!!! So fab. Is that A.merie in the video? I'm hoping maybe they (N.erd) will have some fab special guests but I doubt it since it's at this itty bitty club. And it's also Pittsburgh. This place isn't known for it's great diverse artist appearances. But I'm excited about this concert. It will require another "nap first" day. I'm also supposed to get up with blogger D.P. and his wife. He also invited me to Easter dinner at his momma's house. "We be grubbin, everybody likes when mama cooks somethin'. Eat mac and cheese and greens and stuffin. We be grubbin... ay ay look here look here."

Thursday me and dad need to get in some Daddy Daughter day action since we missed it last week-- fell asleep on Wednesday, Bible class on Thursday. My co-workers have also asked me to join them on what they deem "The Experience." I don't even want to know but it's kind of scary. Lol. Cool new co-worker is going, too, though so we've already determined we'll leave if it gets too crazy. Ha!

Is that enough? Too much to me. I'm tired just looking at it. I might not go to any of it! Lol. I kid I kid! (Maybe) Alright! I already have my ticket for the concert so I'm def going to that. My dad cooked lunch today-- fish and rice. That's the third day in a row. The previous two days it was breakfast. Can we do a happy dance for him cooking? I'll take care of that for you.

*dancin! dancin! danciiiiiiiiiiiiin! dancin machiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!!*


Gym Crazies, Frust, & My Crazy D

Sigh. I'm a magnet for the gym crazy. I just am. The other day this old lady says to me, "You have such nice square shoulders. Has anyone ever told you that before?" What????? "Um... no." "Yeah, see how mine are sloped? Yours are nice and square." "Oh... uh... thanks." WOW. You are a little tiny (at 5'1, I can look down at her) ball of crazy. This is the same woman who told me she piddled. Sigh. I think she will make conversation with a wall, though, honestly so I just humor her.

That reminds me that I called my grandmother the other day. Every time I call her she either tells me I made her day, her week or her month. It's fantastic! Lol. You know how I am about compliments. Oh you slay me! Lololol. So if your grandparents are still alive (she's the only one I have left), give them a call please. They'd love to hear from you. Most of her grandchildren don't call because she used to be really mean. Omg! I have to utter something for you. "Devil get on outta here." Of course there are tangents. Did I really say "teeny tiny itty bitty baby lizards"? Were they small?

Back to the other gym crazy. G. Oh G. Why did Stace & Rashan talk you up? I hadn't seen you in at least a week and a half. That's a lot considering you work out near daily. I didn't know if maybe you got locked up (they won't let you out) but I guess not. I don't really care enough about your jail situation to ask. Is that wrong? I don't care. Saturday at the gym who do I see him working out with a dude and a girl. I smile and wave and keep it moving. He smiles (he does have a cute smile. Something about dimples...), waves and yells out "AY!! WHERE YOU BEEN?!" No. You didn't. Couth. It's not hard. Or maybe it is. I reply much less loudly, "Around, where have YOU been?" then continue to walk downstairs. Except I hear "AY!!" EVEN LOUDER. Huh uh. I can not condone your bad behavior. I just glower through my upper eyelashes as I walk down the stairs and continue on my way. Get your life together, please. That is not cute.

I was reading My Utmost for His Highest (the problem with a lack of awareness of days is that sometimes you get behind and don't even know it... I think I'm a day behind. I'll just uh! double up, uh uh!) yesterday morning or the day before and it was talking about lust and how giving in to it like being owned by your frust... or whatever sort of lust you have, with the definition of lust being something you believe you must have NOW. I was like huh???? FRENCH FRIES YOU DON'T OWN ME, SON!! So yeah. That has given me further resolve to give in no more to my frust. Because I thought about it. It becomes a slippery slope. You give in once and say, "Why not just one more time and one more time and oh who cares?" Not the kid!! YOU CAN'T RUN ME FRENCH FRIES!! ONE MORE WEEK B! (Or should I say F?)

Since Palm Sunday (today) to Easter is Holy Week and I eat way too much fast food, I decided to give up fast food for Holy Week. This will require me to cook... for the first time in probably months... I know that's bad but it's the truth. My dad buys my food a lot (he brings home lunch) and when I go to a restaurant, I always take home enough for my work lunch the next day. What? I have a small appetite. Plus I eat out on Tuesday before Bible Study to pass the time, then I eat out on Thursday for Daddy Daughter. And we can't forget breakfast on Sunday mornings before church. Those are just the guarantees and don't include my usual stop at A.rby's on the way to work almost every night. They recognize MY VOICE and know my condiments. It's really quite bad. So this is the first step to getting a handle on that.

My daddy is nutty. He cracks me up sometimes. The best days are days like yesterday (Saturday) where I go to work for my whole life 11 hours (that's not the good part), go to the gym, come home and talk to Stace for 2 hours while D cooks my breakfast. Good stuff man, good stuff. Well the working hard, then grabbing my just reward part. AND getting something accomplished to boot. Kielbasa, 2 eggs over hard (I don't like runny yolks), grits and wheat toast. Oh breakfast, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I still need to memorize that poem... Do you know people who say rememberize? Horridnessocity.


Oh Keith

I was never a fan because I don't like when journalists interject their opinions. I don't listen to most radio or tv personalities for precisely this reason but... this is worth every second.

Removing myself from my belief about journalistic integrity requiring distance from things of this nature, despite the disclaimer, as a human being, I think he did what was right. To insinuate some sort of backhanded affirmative action is not only ludicrous and offensive, it's the same sort of thing that has been going on for too many months in the Billary campaign and needs to end yesterday. I'm sick of it. Attack his credentials, not his race.

And seriously, it doesn't take the Speaker of the House to know these two will NEVER be on the same ticket. I could've told you that long before this week. She's just been writing checks her behind won't want to cash. (Too southern?) It's past time for my fellow North Carolinian to step up and throw his support behind the right candidate before it's too late.

You can fake fight for the black vote all you want. I'm not buying it and neither are a lot of other people. I can't believe you had this many black faces show up while you apologized again. Your recent actions are why there are so many people who would rather see a Repub in the White House than you. If you win this nomination (which would have to involve some underhanded combination of adding FL and MI back in and the support of superdelegates (one superdel down btw)), you are making it impossible for any self-respecting black person support you. We all know where I stand.


Top Chef Chicago Ep. 1

I'm already liking the kid who started working in his family restaurant at 11 and got two people fired because he cooked better than him. I know it's bad that I like him for that reason but I do.

You're from Chicago and have never made a deep dish? You should be ashamed of yourself. Fake chef. And how does this other chick have no idea how much dough to use? Have you never even seen one being made? I would think chefs would watch cooking shows incessantly. A good journalist would never ignore the competition and not immerse themselves in news. Yeah, you people are horrid.

No one wants a Padma cookbook. She needs a burger. A big fat juicy one.

Rocco Dispirito. Drool. Hottest guest judge ever. So, so gorgeous. Even his name is fabulous. I'll say he's a culinary rock star. Too bad he's married.

Peach taleggio pizza sounds delish. Mmmm."I smell something funky," is not a good thing to hear about the proscuitto on your pizza, girl! Grapes on the pizza? Gross. The black girl's pizza looks disgusting and he said it's missing salt. And this one thick w/no backside crust. How am I to hold this??

Their house is fantastic. It's the house from the holiday challenge.

Why is this one kid so mad about the snatched pizza pan? Take the supplies you need immediately. The dude shouldn't have taken more than one but this is a competition and you need to be vigilant. I hope you've learned your lesson.

I love that they're going head to head on the same dish. Marinate shrimp in parsley? That does not sound delicious and that plate is ugly. Parsley isn't a flavor that gets it for me. And pitiful, failed flan.

Excuse me people. Why are you watching the competition and comparing? That's not how you win!! They can bring their own tools and sauces, etc. now? Marmite and handheld smokers??

How do you not know being in the top in the quickfire means nothing? You put rutabaga in anything and I want you to go home. In lasagna? I just want to leave before I say something evil... I don't do rutabagas. Poached eggs look nasty. I like my yolks cooked a bit more. I still love the excitement of eggs Benedict in it's many variations. The 1st time I had it was in Charlotte at my sorority's Regional conference. Mmmmm.

Erik's plate looks disgusting. Way too much stuff on it. You eat with your eyes first. Y'all know this! Plating is paramount. Get it together please. Ooh! Top Chef cookbook! Miss Stephanie nervous, staring at the competition won the elimination. Sigh. Very pretty plate, though. I've never had duck a l'orange. I saw it on a menu once and was tempted, but went with something else. And her competition was told his dish looked silly. Yeah, the one she was looking at getting shook about. This is why you don't watch the competition. Focus on YOUR task. That's why your kindergarten teacher always told you to look at your own work. Ain't that right, Stace? Souffle does not interest me at all despite how much I like eggs.

The black girl is going home. Geez. It's like in the horror movies... the black person goes first. This was warranted, though. She was pitiful. Where's Tre when you need him?


Marriage Material

Two men have proposed to me. One used to do it near daily on campus my freshman and sophomore years. It was actually hilarious. We would be passing each other on campus and he would say something like, "You are so amazing. You are like perfect wife material. Will you marry me? Please?" And I would start cracking up. He was my friend Kevina's friend which is how we knew each other. Then one day he says, "No really you are perfect wife material but I'm not ready to settle down right now. One day though..."

I'm still looking at him laughing as he's saying this. Do you really think that's how it's gonna go down? I'm going to be sitting around with the chastity belt on while you sow your wild oats? You're absolutely right. Please give me a call when wild oats sowing time has ended and I will run to do your bidding. Bath water ready, paper secure, slippers handy, dinner ready. (This guy and I actually hung out a few times senior year but he was still in oat-sowing phase. It was pretty wack.)

I actually started chatting up another guy to amuse Stace. Here's an excerpt of the relevant part of that post.
She was like "Go ask him about infinity," and started snickering. So I did. He started talking to me about how amazing infinity and zero were and something like zero was a social construct and didn't really exist or something insane like that. I kept making eyes at Stace about the hilarity of this whole operation while engaging him in conversation. He offered to let me borrow his books on infinity. How nice of him. Crazy physics major. I'll pass!! Lol.

One time we were hanging out in his room. Not like that 1969! Lol. Though I'm sure he would've liked it. Matter of fact, there was some music on but his taste was so incredibly bizarre that there was no way you could find enough songs to slap together and pass for a seduction mix tape. We had a decent time, but what was chemistry to him was to me just hanging out having fun, being me. Then he pops the question. *blank face* He comes with the, "I don't mean today, but one day. Will you marry me one day?" His wasn't the "because I want to be a whore without recompense sow my oats" proposal. It was more the "I know we don't know each other well enough and you won't be amenable to this idea because it's crazy to you but right to me" proposal. Yeah... Sir. That doesn't really make it less weird. I stopped talking to him regularly after that and the following year he transferred.

I feel like there was another proposal somewhere along the lines of "if we're not married by this age, let's marry each other" and I said ok through hysterical laughter. The problem is I don't remember who I may have made this alleged pact with making said agreement null (unless he's even cuter now than he was then). Stace had a pact like that with this guy from Hampton. They weren't dating, she just thought his aspirations were amazing. What's funny is that when they made the pact we were sitting with this guy I'd been talking to on and off. We were in the middle at that particular time, not on, not off. Just there, but I knew I never wanted to marry him. After making their pact, Stace and her partner in crime looked expectantly at us. I made a face then said, "If neither one of us is married by age 30, let's make a pact to find the other someone to marry." Does that count?
My dad says there is no need to talk about marriage until you have a ring. I don't know about all that but if you're thinking about buying a ring, that's a good time to bring it up. Before that, let's not get into unnecessary conjecture which will eventually doom the relationship. Because if you start bringing up marriage, she's going to start thinking about when and if you're not ready to answer that question, why even bother?

The crux of this post is to give a bit of advice to men. For the love of all that is holy, don't talk about marriage with a woman you either know nothing about or have no current, actualized intention of marrying. I've been with guys before who wanted to talk all about every detail of marriage with me. Sometimes it's not a problem, but sometimes it is. Sometimes you're setting yourself up for unnecessary failure. There are other ways to make conversation that don't plant false hopes. You are absolutely making it harder when the inevitable (if you have no marriage intentions) day of your breakup arrives. You'll get to hear, "But we talked about marriage!" and all sorts of other dramatic, off-putting phrases while you're thinking, "But I was just talking!" Keep your chatter away from kids, kids names, how to raise the children, wedding locations, honeymoons and actual marriage logistics (who takes out the trash, washes dishes, cleans toilets). I'm telling you this so you save yourself a lot of headache in the future. Plus it just annoys me and there's no need for all that! Ladies, I hope there is no need for me to tell you to keep your conversations marriage-free, as well. Thank you all for your cooperation.



HAHAHAHA. I'm watching the latest MTB4 ep and lovin it!! So I had to pull out a Diddyism and use the breaking news despite my reluctance to overuse it.

*BTW, I'm loving how Wills and Q-bizzle are at the top of the Didster's list and annoying Bri and Rob are at the bottom. YAY!! And Rob just said 'I'm just tryin to do my thug thizzle.' No you didn't. This is why you're at the bottom. Because you are the wackest of the wack. And Mike is hilarious. "When the Lights Go Out" is maaaaaaahvelous!

But most importantly... guess what I'm doing tomorrow...

TO SEE......

BARACK OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need bigger words than that!! He's coming to Beaver Co. right outside Pittsburgh and it's an hour away. I'm going to Beaver, I'm going to Beaver... that deserves an utter... Please make sure you hop and skip when you're listening to it. AND he's fresh off of wins in MS & WY?? This is about to be fantastic. I can't wait!!

I won't be like this...

But fainting my dude!?!? HILARIOUS!! Oh man. Toooo funny. I believe we're all in agreement that for me... this qualifies as breaking!! YAY!!!!!!!

I'm such a news junkie that I was on the elliptical-like cross training machine for 40 minutes when I only planned to be on there maybe 10 minutes but wanted to watch the governor of NY resign live. That is pitiful. News is crack. My grandma told me I'll be able to calm down while watching the news when I get older because your priorities change. THANK JESUS!! Lol. News crack is wack. It's tiring! I had already done the bike for 25 minutes. The circumstances are sad, because a wife and three children have to experience such pain so publicly but effective Monday, NY will have it's first black governor. He will be only the 4th black governor EVER. Amazing milestone.

I'm annoyed by the legally blind references from everywhere, though. I know at least 2 people who are legally blind. For some people it means you can drive, you can see with glasses, though my 8th grade chorus teacher wore glasses and contacts concurrently, you just have horrible eyesight. It may be different for him, but what does that have to do with the price of tea in China? He's obviously educated and has already risen the ranks to the point where he's in a position to hold this post. Now let's move on. Thanks.


Tatted Up, Tatted Up, Tatted Uuuuuuup

In case you need a reference. Like nearly all songs I ever listened to before I started going to church regularly again, it's not for the faint of heart... I guess I shouldn't be sharing it but I needed those of you who were unclear to know what the title referred to. You know most of my friends are tatted up. The tattoo crew. Fave roomie had at least 4, maybe 5, before we graduated including two giant scorpions on her lower back (she's a Scorpio). She's added 2 more since then. One time she could hardly walk for several days because she got tatts on the inside of both ankles. Now Stace is trying to talk baby Stace (her little sis) out of the body armor tatts-- you know a tatt on every available space of her body. Chilluns. I tell you. What is it about being old enough to do stuff that makes you crazy about it? My sister thought I'd be so excited about her tatt. I wasn't. I don't understand them.

I thought about getting one but couldn't decide on anything I like now that I would still like at 30 and certainly not at 45. I just knew I'd written about this before (but this is the closest I got) because I thought I'd asked y'all for input on what to get back when it was still a close possibility. There was a long, long list of what I found unacceptable for me. Let's go down it. Butterflies and flowers-- too cliche. Paw prints-- I'm not from the jungle or the hood. My name-- I already know it. Someone else's name-- chile please. Asian symbols-- I don't speak those languages. Plus I heard a story once about this girl who walked into a Chinese restaurant and they called her "classroom" and told her that's what her tatt meant. No ma'am and no thank you. Not me, not the kid. Essentially it boiled down to... I don't want one. Don't get sensitive if you're a tatted up Tammy or Tommy. But if you're a girl I really hope you don't have a neck tatt... because there are no words...


Something in the Water

No really. There's something in the water. You know I don't often do current events but I know too many of my readers don't watch or read the news. THERE ARE DRUGS IN YOUR TAP WATER. See naw. First the beef, now this. The beef was a score for the crazy vegans and vegetarians. Stace's boo Dreezy is such a smug vegetarian, too. He just knows his lifestyle is the best ever. WHATEVER!! He's only a partial vegetarian though because he still eats fish. Does he eat chicken, too? I can't remember. He's not really a vegetarian, he just doesn't eat beef or pork. Whatever man.

But water? WATER?!?! What is this Iraq or something? Ol' tainted drinking supply. It's like living in a third world country! I'd rather NOT have your viagra with my glass, please. Yeah y'all. The water has antibiotics, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers and sex hormones. And that's just what they know. There's no telling what else is in there. AND they want to tell us it's safe... but they don't know what long-term exposure to this stuff can do to you. Of course they don't!! BUT WE KNOW WHAT IT DOES TO THE FISH!! This is not cute. And they (the environmentalists) wonder why I drink bottled water. The tap water here is cloudy and tastes funny anyway. In Charlotte it tastes delicious. Probably because there are so many chemicals.

(My blog schedule is utterly jacked because of blogger. I'm used to posting in the a.m. which gives folk all day to comment but haven't been able to the last two days. Yes, I'm still hatin on blogger. If it was a person I'd be giving it the eye. I'm still looking at my computer like why I oughta...)



definition: (n.) french fry lust.

I've got it. Pure and simple. I found myself sitting in my room thinking about Easter afternoon. Not because of the miracle of Jesus' resurrection. No, no. Because of the end of Lent and the beginning of my renewed journey with french fries. If you didn't know or forgot, I am mildly obsessed with fries but gave them up for Lent.

I had already composed the blog post in my head complete with various pictures of me sitting at a table alone in Chili's posing with those salt and pepper-covered fries. For once I was ignoring a burger. I always eat my fries first anyway because they don't taste as delightful when they're not piping hot and I want fry deliciousness!!

I was telling my mom about this and she said, "Girl! Go get you some fries!! You are lusting after fries!!" I tried (mildly) to argue her down. I didn't listen when she told me last time about a week ago. This time she said, "I really don't think that's what Jesus meant about Lent and I think y'all take this giving stuff up thing too seriously. What is the point if you're lusting all the way through it, going right back to the practice at the end of Lent, and becoming a glutton over the practice on Easter morning?" Because I would absolutely be thinking about how to get those fries before church. What? I would.

Then she adds, "It's better to eat fries than to burn in lust." Mom!! Did you just paraphrase and rework 1 Corinthians 7:9 to be about fries? HILARIOUS!! But when you go doing things like that and it really makes sense in my head... I go do it. May I tell you that these fries were love in potato goodness? I mean these things.... whoooo! Make ya head blow!!! I was sitting on the phone in Chili's trying to control myself. I almost pulled out the poole palace in the restaurant.

For those of you who asked me what the poole palace was since I didn't have time to link before... enjoy! I love this!!! It makes me so ready to go home. I need to listen to the radio again so I can know ANY songs when I go home. Where is my soror Kia when I need her? She always knows songs months before they hit the radio which means she knows the words to every single club banger ever released.

I didn't do it but I did enjoy those fries. They were delightful. I won't eat any more until Easter but they're not on my mind like they were and I'm very proud of myself for being fry free for an entire month when I ate them almost daily prior to Mardi Gras. Now I know I don't have to eat fries daily. AND I understand the purpose of breaking that Lenten fast (which some cultures do every Sunday of Lent anyway). It gets it off of your mind.

I also had a good time this weekend talking to a lot of my homies. I spent at least 3 hours on the phone this weekend. I talked to fave roomie, Ashli, Stace, my line sister and even texted with Kevina. I started calling him that freshman year. I don't remember why but it stuck and he never objected. So fun. We had a blast at homecoming, too. More Chili's fries. Lol. That was love man, LOVE I SAY!! I also used to call his best friend "dress boy." That was his fault though because he was from Jersey and wore these things they called whiteys. White tees all the way to their knees. Why are you wearing a t-shirt dress!??! So I called him dress boy. In public. I guess by comparison Kevina was the better name, huh? Hahahahahaha!!!

And.... best SNL parody of the week... New Bravo Show!!!! Love it!!! I could not stop laughing!!


Word Blogger?

That's how we're gonna do things? You have folk leaving you left and right LEFT AND RIGHT!! I've been with you since '05 and this is how I'm repaid?? With a long, long blackout!?!? IT AIN'T RIGHT!! I come home after a hard hard day at work with the most luxuriant, fantastic, joy-inducing blog and guess who can't post because NO BLOGGER PAGES WORK? ME!!! And I'm thinking it's only temporary but for an HOUR I can't get on and Chris tells me he hadn't been able to get on in the morning. SON!! YOU ARE SOOOO trying to make me go to wordpress. You know that's where all the homies are defecting to!! I want DEMAND AN APOLOGY!! I posted two utterz yesterday because of this!!

On a brighter note, the homie Rocky won Wyoming!! Wheeeeeeee!! I told you he would. He does well in caucuses and those weird states you wouldn't think he would win like Idaho, Utah and Iowa. Ooh AND the 3 inches of snow in the forecast managed to skirt where I live and only be a dusting. Can I get a celebratory cabbage patch please? Especially since parts of Ohio got nearly 2 feet. Come on now! A poole palace? A lean wit it, rock wit it? Pleeeeeease!? (I don't have time to link these because I should be getting dressed right now but look it up if you're confused.) Danke!


Ho Hum

I'm incredibly bored. That means I've (lightly) scoured the internet for something to pass the time without taking up too much time. I've become over bored with being deep. I know you can tell and I know it's a bit of a pity for me to hide this fantastic mind teeming with ideas and opinions but you shall suffer a bit longer. I'm in the thick of Pillars, 62% there!, and it's getting difficult for me to put it down. When you're reading a 973 book, you feel spurred on to finish it. I wanted to have it done by the time I went home in April so I could return it to my mom and now I know there's no danger of that. I should be done in no time but this is one of those books that has so many characters you will forget some of them if they're not mentioned for 100 pages.

Okay I started filling out the fill in the blank and couldn't. It was too inane. I could do the meme I was tagged with weeks ago by BKDiva AND Liz and maybe someone else but that would require me to think. Ooh! I know! I steal from Pro's encyclopedia. It's her incredibly intriguing look at her life, encyclopedia style. One letter, one word, a look inside Pro.

Apparently Virgoans like us are very organization driven. We like things just so. The latter, yes, the former... not so much. You need to catch me on a good day. It must be that cusp thing I have going on. When I'm working, I absolutely need organization. I can't stand having a messy desk and unfiled papers.

One of my other pet peeves is cds. I cannot stand for people to have cds laying everywhere, out of their cases, in the wrong cases. It drives me insane!! And I always seem to be the rider with these types of people. I can't sit still in the car when you're trying to find cds but Jigga is in the Kanye case and Kanye is in the DK case. Where's DK? Oh there are three or 4 mixtapes and and AND!! YOU'RE DRIVING ME INSANE!! I start organizing right away and looking for the proper cds and cases which makes other people a bit crazy.

I'm very very a place for everything and everything in its place but only sometimes. You would be hard pressed to find someone to label me as a neat freak but I like control. And really, even my messes are controlled. I know where to find stuff because I have a partially photographic memory. That means I can see something and remember where I last saw it. It works for conversations, too, which is really weird. I can hear my utterz and remember exactly where I was and what I was doing, down to the curve in the road I was riding on when I said it. It's a bit odd but I can see it in my head.

Speaking of utterz... that reminds me. Diva asked me if my grandmama for Obama is The Pank or Grandma Duck. I said neither then realized I didn't know who either of those women were outside of their amazing names. I didn't even know how I was related to them. So I asked my mom. They're both related to my grandfather. The Pank (she's from Mississippi and love the color pink which she pronounced pank and wanted people to call her The Pank. It's all explained here. How gangsta is that?) was Momma Tommie, my grandfather's mother. My mom said she was a troublemaker! I couldn't stop giggling on that one! She had diabetes and neuropathy. The nerve damage meant in her later years she would sometimes scratch herself and not feel it to know it hurt and she'd cut through the skin with her nails until she looked down.

Before that though, my mom said she loved to sit in The Pank's mirror and play grown up. This was so me. If you wanted me to play with you it better be dress up and it needs to be fabulous clothes and lots of jewelery and hats. Matter of fact since I'm only 5'2 and Grandma Alberta (the grandmama for Obama) is 5'11, she towers over me and I still play dress up in her stuff. Lololol. She's a seamstress and loves hats and jewelery so she has some fabulous things. Which reminds me I need to go back to Mississippi and get in that closet...

Back to Momma Tommie aka The Pank. My grandfather was her oldest child. He served two tours in WWII, both in France and in the Army. He died when my mom was 15. For the longest time I was terrified my dad would die when I was 15 so I held my breath a lot that year especially because he flew a lot for his job. I've always closely identified with my mom though we're not very much alike. I'm much more outspoken and even at times overbearing. But I proudly followed in her footsteps to Hampton and in the sorority. Mostly because she never pressured me to be anyone but myself. Who wouldn't admire and aspire to that?

For some reason The Pank loved my mom's oldest brother, Jacob and another grandchild, Lottie Pearl. That name always cracked me up. One of my mom's other cousins, Loretta did not take to kindly to The Pank loving those two so much. My mom didn't care she just liked the nice furniture and playing grown up and the good cooking. You know that makes me hungry, right? On the troublemaker note, apparently she liked to take shots at my Uncle Roosevelt's (which she pronounced Rooos-evelt) wife whom I love! Aunt Annie Ruth is the bomb. Navy wife and the sweetest woman in the world. I don't call any of them great aunt and great uncle. I just call them what my mom does. They lived in Norfolk (home of country's largest naval base (very scary at 9/11)) so we would always go visit them when my mom came to visit me at Hampton. Uncle Roosevelt was very sick by the time I got to school and died my senior year. I had fun at the funeral with his brothers, though. They were hilarious. Uncle Charlie and Uncle Robert. I got to see my Uncle Jacob, too who I love. He's my mom's brother, the nicest man in the world, and an elder in the A.M.E. church.

Anyway, apparently The Pank would say, "Oh Rose, your children lookin so po'ly [poorly]. Is they eatin'?" TRIFE!!! (definition 2) This cracked me up!! I couldn't stop laughing!! Too funny. Stop startin' stuff Pank!! I'm gonna make my mom talk on utterz when I get home so I'll have her voice forever and maybe you can here some of her accent, too.

Grandma Duck was granddaddy's grandmother. WHOA!! This was amazing to me. I forgot that since people started families very young, it wasn't unusual to know your great-grandparents. My grandfather was the oldest so my mom remembers Grandma Duck. That's so cool! She was blind and bedridden and that's all my mom remembers. I bet my Uncle Jacob remembers more. I can't wait to pick their brains.

I never met a single great-grandparent because on my dad's side, my grandfather was the youngest of 13 and my dad was 5 of 9. I wasn't born until he was 36 and his grandparents had been dead for 20 years or more by that point. Matter of fact, he never even know his mother's father. (Rolling stone.) My great-grandparents on that side were never married. Someone will be mad at me for sharing that but it's my family history so I can do what I want. On my mom's side, my grandmother's father died 4 months before my mom was born. Her mother died in 1960. My mom was 5. I don't even know when my grandfather's parents died but they were long gone by the time I was born.

I did have an adopted great-grandmother who didn't have any children of her own and took my mom and her brothers as her grandchildren. Ma Grace lived to be 110. She called my Uncle Ferdinand 'Nana because he liked bananas and was bright yellow. Hahahahaha. Definitely the palest of my grandmother's children. Remember my grandmother's father was half white. But her mother was quite dark so grandma's children run the gamut when it comes to shades. Have I exhausted you yet? I think I've done myself in and I have some things to accomplish today so tata!