But I Already Do...

Rashan (jerk (soft j)) wants to know what would happen if we ruled the blog world. Hence the title. It's why I wear the five-inch magenta pumps and pose magnificently.

If everyone did what they were supposed to in my blog world, here's what they would do (some people need a sippy cup of ACT RIGHT!!):

Post. Y'all knew that was coming. Once a week or a flurry of three or four posts, then nothing else for a week or a month or more. And without prompting. No "Hey you! Post!" They'd just do it. There is nothing in your life so utterly overwhelming (unless you or someone close to you is dying) that you can't get to your computer at least twice a week. Especially when you can post from your cell phone now. And if people with children find it in themselves to post 5 times a week, SNK (single, no kids) people can at least find it in themselves to get on board for three.

Grow up. Read someone who writes above your level and think about elevating how you approach situations. You are a work in progress which is marvelous. We all are. It'd be nice if your writing would reflect that. You should be able to notice a difference in where you were 6 months or a year ago. If not, you're not doing something right.

Are you smarter than a 3rd grader? For some of you the answer is no. It shows in your grammar. I might give you a pass on SOME grammar issues (normally not punctuation) since there's no grammar check on most blogging programs. HOWSOMEVER! Spelling. For the love of all that is holy! If you don't attack your post with a spell check!! Everyone has some words here and there and faces issues where you use the wrong letter but it's an actual word. I (head of the blog world order) am not going to get all bent out of shape. But when your blog is barely legible? I need you to get that together. And let's not forget those of you who wRiTe LiKe ThIs. I just need to know. Are you mentally infirmed? Because if you tell me you are, I'll understand why that takes you less time to write iN tHaT mAnNeR than it would for you to figure out what profligate, anachronistic, and recherche mean.

"You ain't gotta lie C.raig." If you were following the Jameil Blog Order, you would stop telling people you're back "for real" and really be back. Or you would just be gone. Leave, then. We'll be alright. The blog world will move on. Maybe I'll leave, too. I'm considering a timely exit. It will be fun for everyone.

Beggars can't be choosy. We've been over this too many times. Stop begging people to read your blog. You know what? I've decided begging for comments is beneath everyone, too. You don't want to comment? Don't. And don't look for me to comment on yours, either. Turnabout is fair play and all that. No one needs or wants EVERYONE to read their blog. What really is the point in that? To try to take over the world. You're not pinky, but I'm the brain.

I'm not trying to take over the world. I already have. Get there.