My Second Letter to God

Dear God,

I don't like being grown anymore. I have to like work 6 days a week and stuff and I'm not really having a lot of fun. And you know, I miss hangin out in the day, going to class sometimes, and partying all night. Remember those times when I used to hang out with my girls and stuff? Wasn't that cool? Well now they're all spread out all over the country and I miss them. And you know the b.f. right? Thanks for sending him to me. He's great. Even though sometimes he's a mite crazy. But whatever you know. And this paying bills thing? It's not very fun. I mean I know I just pay my car payment, my cable and cell phone bills, but come on. That's not cool. Can't I just be rich and not have to work or anything? I just want to hang out with my friends one day. And maybe become a hand model or design purses or something. Ooh! I know! God, can I be a professional student? That would be great! So anyway God, please consider my request.



(For my first letter to God, please click here).


7 Beers, A Cosmo and An Afro Wig

doesn't that sound like a recipe for success? or at least one hell of a hangover? because that's what i've got right now. actually just a mini one. it all started 3 weeks ago when i first found out i would be working 9-hour days, 6-days a week for two weeks in a row. i was like, geez! i thought, "i never go out now, i'll be a hermit w/that shift. i'll be too tired to do anything!" but then i said to myself, "self, i'm sure when the schedules come out for the next two weeks, all will be rectified."

wrong. the next two weeks yielded the exact same schedule. one day off on thursday. i'm like wtf??? who's the brains behind THIS operation???? so last wednesday, i find myself absolutely exhausted (of course part of it was mental). fastforward to yesterday. week two. i literally FORCED myself out of bed, mostly because i knew it was my friday. and also because it sucks for everyone involved when someone calls off at midnight for a 1am shift. after work i seriously needed to unwind. now, let me explain a little something about my schedule.

i work overnights for the morning show. that means i come in at 1 a.m. and get off at 10 a.m. i know you're like wtf when the hell does this chick go to bed??? oh around 3 p.m. how strange is that right???? and it has also cut out my beloved breakfast. when 530 a.m. rolls around, i'm ready for FOOD. so that's lunchtime. when i get off, that's right, happy hour!! so this dude at work, (not throne man) we'll call him marcus, had told me about a black 80's party featuring only music by black people and their videos, at the hard rock cafe. and another coworker was having her going away party at the fox and hound so i was waffling through which one i would go to. so that's where the first 3 beers come in. i had a buzz by 3 in the afternoon. it was great. i made several calls to my peeps inquiring what exactly you would wear to an 80s party. i mean when you're born in 1982, that ain't exactly puttin you in the running for knowing a whole lot about the time period.

my friends started getting excited about said party so i decided on the 80s party. went upstairs, took a nap so i could hang, then woke up and started to get ready. so in the shower (stop trying to picture me naked), i decided on a color scheme. my friend mor always makes fun of me b/c i cannot attend a theme party or a big party w/o a color scheme. last night it was based around my 3 inch multi-colored stilettos, yielding a theme of yellow, pink and turquoise. SOOO 80s, right?? lololol. hilarious. it was fantabulous. and i decided i should definitely do it in a way that would not be embarrassing should i show up and be the only person following the theme. yes, y'all, ya girl was unnecessarily fly (which should not be surprising).

so i show up to the "party" and not only is nearly no one in costume (except a girl w/an afro wig and a dashiki and the host who's wearing a kangol and HUGE gold chains), but absolutely no one is dancing. wtf?????? what kind of ish is this?? and i got there at like 1030. nights end at 1030 here? i was tempted to leave after five minutes, but then i saw marcus. let me tell you what he had on. dwayne wayne flip-up glasses, hooded sweatshirt, blazer, jeans cuffed several times, white socks, and black dress shoes. foolish!! but hilarious. i definitely had him pegged as a square who would not have fun. so he introed me to his friends. and i finally met the girlfriend. she was so nice to me from the outset. it was really cool. i was like, "hey! maybe i'll make friends in this city afterall!" (in my head of course). marcus bought me a cosmo. nice. then he asked if i wanted to head out to the fox and hound for corey's going away party. i said, sure why not. we decided to ride together and... cue insecurity, roll insecurity, andddddddddddd ACTION!

the girlfriend loses her mind. she starts being clingy and hanging on him. i guess asserting her territory. it might have been a tad more effective if she had just lifted up her leg and peed on him. it was bad. as we're driving out of the parking garage, she calls him and summons him to her. he stops, speaks for a minute and then says bye to her and he pulls off. to me, she says not a word. this is a girl who 15 minutes earlier is treating me like her newfound friend. really? is it that serious? honey let me help you out. i have no need of marcus. i've got the b.f. and even if i didn't, you ain't got a man you gotta do all that with. you already know where he's ending the night.

so anyway. we proceed to the fox and hound to meet the coworkers. everyone gives us the wtf???-i-didn't-know-they-were-bonin look. i knew that was gonna happen. two black people walk in together. its either a conspiracy or ass right? (rolling my eyes). so everyone's shocked to see me there b/c its nothing but nightsiders. most of these people i haven't seen in literally months. two people i've only seen about 3 times in 6 months, one i had never seen before. lololol. so anyway, everyone's buying drinks so i get two beers i've never had before on the recommendation of my co-workers. i end up with hoegaarden (citrus nightmare ugh!) and victory (dark bitter mess). at least i didn't have to pay for them. so we're sittin around shootin the shit and random people keep showing up. reporters, associate producers, producers, an executive producer. three anchors were there. i was like, hey! that's great! one of them is one of the main anchors on the 5 p.m. news. a lot of the "talent" as they're called can be rather stuck up, especially the anchors. so i thought that was really cool.

so then "cheryl" suggests we go to this after hours club, a negro dive called "H2O." Is there a reason why there's one of these in every city?? nonsense. cheryl is the most perky white girl. with my help, we convince the vast majority of the people to head out there. can i tell you how one of the reporters is this really laid back white guy right? seemed even more straight-laced than marcus. we walk in and he's like a celebrity in there. this guy is being given the first and last name pat on the backs, the works. its HILARIOUS!! b/c they're playing nothing but negro music. its great. lololol. so i get another drink offer. enter beers six and seven. I'm cuttin up on the dance floor and even get some offers to hang w/the work peeps in the future. sounds like great fun! lolol

so then some NIGGA, yes i said nigga, has to go ruin shit by yelling, "aight! time to go!" not bad right? then not even 5 minutes later, he's like, "ok why is everyone still standing around? i said get the fuck out!" really? no thanks. i don't like being treated like a dumbass. and the music wasn't that damn great. so marcus takes me back to my car and we head to "tom's diner." i'm the diner QUEEN! i LOVE hole in the wall breakfast places at 4 am. nothing beats em! i get my regular (two scrambled eggs, bacon and toast and oj) and we just shoot the shit, mostly about being black and in the media. then i hear the theme music come up for the 5am news and i'm like, oh hell no!! so we get up and leave about 10 minutes later. i get some gas and i'm in the bed out like a light by 550 a.m. how's that for making up for lost time? my throbbing head woke me up at 9 o'clock and has not let me go back to sleep. now it has simmered down to a dull headache but still not exactly fun. and this from the girl who said she wasn't drinking last night.


The State of Black America Pt I: The Athlete (Updated)

Too often Black children are pushed toward athletics to the detriment of academics. I would be the last person to suggest sports have no place in the lives of our youth. Without sports, there are many children who will never feel their worth. But our children should not be led to believe athletics are the sole means to an end, whether the end is leaving the ghetto, supporting their parents or personal success. Furthermore, the expectation is that a Black child is automatically good at sports, particularly basketball, football and track.

Gold medal Olympian Shani Davis brought all of this to mind. The Chicagoan was teased as a child for speed skating. His mother had to fight all kinds of people who did not believe Shani should be a skater. Only days ago, he overcame the odds of a predominately white sport to become the first black person to win an individual gold medal in the winter olympics.

As is often the case when we excel, he has come under fire. Another American speedskater, Chad Hedrick has spent much of his time in Torino lambasting Shani for refusing to compete in the relay. Shani did not compete for a myriad of reasons. 1) His 1000m event, his signature event, was only two days afterwards and he wanted to concentrate on it, 2) there were people on the team for the express purpose of competing in that event and he did not want to take their spot, 3) speedskating is NOT a team event, and none of them helped him get there. Of course people are focusing their attention on the last reason. Hedrick even went as far as to call Davis "selfish." Or at the very least imply it. Who the f*** are you??? You don't even know him? That pissed me off. Why? Because the Black athlete is America's favorite to emasculate and vilify.

Black athletes are called everything thing, but selfish seems to come up most often. Why is that? Why is it that a white man who does the same thing gets far less coverage? Unbalanced, negative coverage. Its ridiculous. I will not deny that sometimes they deserve it. T.O., Warren Sapp, Charles Barkley, Latrell Sprewell, Allen Iverson. They've all had their moments they have never been able to live down. But this right here is just ridiculous. Now tonight's 1500m race is being touted as a "showdown." I know part of that is to combat NBC's lagging ratings for the Olympics, but I for one cannot wait for Shani to kick Hedrick's ass. Parrish presented an excellent foray into the Shani Davis controversy. Check it out.

So what is the state of black america's athletes? Too often they are encouraged to leave college early, or skip it all together. How many white athletes have you seen doing this? I know you see it all the time with baseball and hockey, but in the NBA, overwhelmingly, it is black children who are taught they should go for money instead of their education. I for one, cannot agree with it. I do not care your level of talent. The average teenager is not ready for the rigors of a professional season with grown men and millions of dollars. LeBron James is an exception, not a rule. Not only will coaches tell you that, but there is a long list of high schoolers taken in the first round sitting on the bench who could've been college superstars. Kwame Brown anyone? Number one draft pick?? We need to impress upon our children that they are more than their athletic prowess. What happens when your pro football-bound son tears both his ACLs? Good luck finding a team willing to suffer that nightmare. Go pick up a book.

Speaking of books, today marks 41 years since Malcolm X was gunned down while spreading his new found message of brotherhood. If you read no other autobiography, treat yourself to The Autobiography of Malcolm X. It is an engrossing read.

UPDATE: Shani Davis won the silver medal, beating Chad Hedrick who was forced to settle for bronze. The two held a joint news conference afterwards making both of them look rather silly. Davis refused a request from "The Today Show" to appear this morning. Hedrick accepted and re-iterated he didn't know Shani well, but felt betrayed by Davis refusing to participate in the team pursuit. Hedrick looked like an arse. A big white one. He also made it glaringly clear how wide the cultural chasm is between the two men.

*This is part one of my new weekly series, "The State of Black America." Your regularly scheduled programming will commence at will. Thank you for reading "All Me, All the time." Please stay tuned.


Ghetto-gate '06

Apparently I missed the hoodrat memo. So me and the b.f. are talking yesterday, right? He tells me he expects me to be willing to fight a girl if she steps to him. Excuse me? I'm sorry. I went to college and got a degree and a job so I wouldn't be concerned w/some chick in the club. If I was gonna be fightin in the club I could've saved about 50K and startin slangin rocks in high school. Or I could've been standing on the corner with my thumb out. Ooh! Or I could've been a stripper! Magic City baby!

So I'm truly amazed, right? I'm like, umm... have you met me before? How does this seem like something I would be interested in? He says like if some girl calls me a bitch ass nigga or something. You know I can't fight girls, so you would do it for me right? I know this sounds outlandish, but for my friends who know the b.f., I know its even more baffling. He's so calm. Kind of introverted. Borderline quiet. So how would you think that was acceptable?

I know he likes ghetto girls. I knew this back when he was the best friend at HU. All the girls he used to like were ones snappin' and poppin gum with 3-in-1 haircuts (swoop bang, french roll, fingerwave), door knocker earrings, and always.... hahahaha. Ok let me stop. There weren't any girls like that although the Philly, DC, and Jersey girls were close. Think of the most hood girls you ever knew, those were the ones he was always attracted to. Now think to what you've read about me like this, and this, and this, and this and this. Not exactly ghetto. Probably a lot closer to stuck up. But you know, whatever.

Then he's like if some dude came at you wrong, grabbed your butt, whatever, you'd be pissed. You'd want me to do something about it. Ok first of all, why are we in these "establishments" where there's a possibility I might need a blade and some street cred to get out alive??? Lolol. Then like I said, I just ain't tryin to fight random people. I don't have the patience for that and we're too OLD for that!! Geez! Lolol. 16-year-olds and hood rats from B-more (lolol my girl from B-more would be the first to talk about hood clubs like Choices (I had a blast, but we were definitely the least hood peeps in the place). her motto is "we kill niggas in baltimore." so stop makin that face epsi and cnel! lololol) do these things, not me!! And not my b.f.!! Geez! So he wanted me to pose the question. If you're a girl, would you fight a girl who steps to your man incorrectly? If you're a guy, is this what you look for in a girl?


Would you like a mite of crack in your tea?

i SWEAR!! the damn drunks. ok so when there's a random story that breaks overnight or needs some kind of community reaction (not gas related) i.e. the lawmakers giving themselves a 16 to 34 percent raise, then repealing it or powerball, they sent out the overnight reporter to carson street to question anyone walking on the street. 9 times out of 10, these people are so OBVIOUSLY DRUNK, we can't use the interview. now of course its the executive producer's decision not to use these people, not mine. because if you are stupid enough to put your face in front of a microphone and a camera at 3 am when you've played beer pong for the last 7 hours and attempt to wax poetically about the powerball, then i am gonna let you. and for the amusement of the entire pittsburgh viewing area!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha. dumb ass.

now this morning, i was the poor unfortunate soul who got saddled with the task of picking thru the closed-eyed drunkards (yes the eyes were closed all 5 minutes of the interview!!), the ones who slur and giggle, to get to keisha. can i just thank humanity critic, a hilarious blogger i stumbled upon, for reminding me of this. if you read that post you'll understand why this came to mind. KEISHA WAS A MAN. a black man around 46/47 with a dusky blond wavy weave and big eyes and estrogen pill breasts and a jean catsuit unzipped to right about here (just under said estrogen pill breasts) and waaaay too much cake foundation in the wrong shade and a gold herringbone chain (they still make those???). i'm like marshall! (fake name of reporter) did you not know that was a man in drag or not care?? lolol i will show it to the weekend morning producer so we can have a good laugh on saturday. lololol. be a queen all you want, but do me a favor, go to mac and get some good shit so i have to WONDER!! some of these people i SWEAR have to like smoke crack or something!!! so i ask, *insert british accent* "would you like a mite of crack in your tea?" and then they reply, "chip chip cheerio good chap, i do believe i WOULD like a mite of crack in my tea! would you perchance have anything other than the house crack?"

speaking of british. louise rennison is like my fave author b/c she's british and CRACKS ME UP!! now my former librarian in college used to keep me in books. she bought books like others buy underwear (all the vickie's obsessors raise your hands). 2-3 new books a week or something like that. something crazy. so when she'd finish, she'd pass them to me. somehow, don't ask how, she stumbled upon carolyn mackler's georgia series. its about this hilarious ass 13 y.o. british girl. titles to follow (with translations in parentheses). dancing in my nuddy pants (dancing nude), angus, thongs, and full frontal snogging (her cat, thongs, making out like a banshee), on the bright side, i'm the girlfriend of a sex god (self explanatory) and of course, knocked out by my nunga nungas (those are breasts). oh the hilarity!!!!! i can't even do these books justice right here and i know you're all looking at this page like what the f... is she talking about (trailing off, clicking the next button) but its funny! hahaha. but the point is. the british are just crackishly hilarious to me. click on the dancing in my nuddy pants link. worth a good laugh!


OOOOOH!! You gon get in troubllllllle!!!

That's what I was thinking as I heard the mailman lay a package against my door. I tiptoed to the window and peeked out the blinds. I see the mailman walking away from my door back to his truck. I giggle and wonder if its okay to immediately open the door and snatch up my package. I decide, no.... you don't want to seem too pressed. Then I say "Oh what the hell?? The mailman doesn't care and it is snowing. You know you don't want whatever it is to get wet. That would be bad."

So I knew this package was coming because I was on the phone with the b.f. when he mailed it on Friday. I just wasn't sure if it would get here today or tomorrow. Now, whenever he or anyone else sends me anything, he's very adamant about opening it on the intended day. My birthday package in August arrived at least 3 days early. Now I knew I would be alone on my birthday because I had only been in Pittsburgh for a month, and my dad was out of town for two weeks. So he was like, why wouldn't you wait? ...I couldn't! And it even had wait until your birthday in huge letters all over the outside of the package.

I was one of those kids who doesn't wait for Christmas either b/c what's the point? I mean, really. My mom used to let me open mine whenever I wanted once I got to a certain age. I would usually only make it to Christmas Eve. When my godmother used to send gifts, especially in the last couple of years, I would open the package as soon as it got to the house. Lolol. Mainly because she sent the BEST gifts.

This year, when all my friends sent me Christmas cards, I was on the phone with the b.f. when I saw them sitting on the table. I was so excited!! Like awww!! We're so grown! Sendin Christmas cards and such! Do you know what he said? "You have to wait til Christmas!" For a card??? Uh uh. You takin it too far now. I'm not waiting til Christmas for a card. Do you know what he said? Can I tell you what he said?? "If you open it, then I'm going to tell you what I got you for Christmas." I said, "UHHHH!! That's not fair! We always open our Christmas cards as soon as we get them! You can't make me have your Christmas traditions! And are you threatening me??" But... like a good little girlfriend, I put the cards down and went back upstairs. NOT! I know y'all didn't believe that b.s. That's right I opened my damn cards! Lolol.

So anyway, back to today. I said to myself, "You gon get in trouble if you open that package. You know he has these things about days and blah blah blah." I'm saying this as I'm looking at it, right? Yeah. So then I'm like, but there are two holes that are leaking everywhere. Now that part was just an added bonus from the big G (God). Thanks G! I really appreciate that. You know those padded envelopes? It was in one of those and the insides were actually spilling on my floor. For real! I promise. If it didn't take a minor miracle for me to post pics, I would take a picture of it. I was like well, I have to open it. So... needless to say, less than 5 minutes after it was taken from the truck, I was opening it.

Do you know why you should ABSOLUTELY have the double b.f. (best friend turned boyfriend)? Because they know you!! Now... I will say I just went ahead and told him what to get me... AND I LOVE IT!!! I got the Rachael Ray package! Whoo!! Her book, 365: No Repeats (365 days of different recipes, and every single one can be made in 30 minutes or less); and a 3-disc dvd set of 30 Minute Meals called "Warm and Wonderful"..... Yayayayayayayay! Doesn't that sound like a bad porn title, though? And the sweetest card in America. Anyway, I'll be in more trouble later today when he finds out I opened it a day early. Good thing he doesn't feel it necessary to read my blog when he talks to me!! I can postpone the noise. Whoo hoo!!


Mississippi State Secrets

I watched this special on the History Channel for two reasons.

1) I have been feenin' for the stereotypical negro specials in honor of Black History Month. I don't care if that's the only reason they're doing it. I'm just glad they're doing it. Black history could be ignored like it has been for so many years. And can we really be upset about that when our own widely known television station, the incomparable BET can't be bothered to provide more than a few 30-second spots? I think not.

and 2) because my mother is from Mississippi. Let me take you back into my history a little bit. My great grandfather, John Dixon was born in slavery. He told some of his children he was born to a white mother and slave father. The rest he told he was born to a slave mother and white father. Either way, he was half-white. He had blue eyes and fair skin, and could have easily passed for white. But he didn't. His children ran the gamut from very fair, to inheriting their mother's dark skin. Some, light and dark, had blue eyes, some had eyes that changed colors from blue to brown (my grandmother), some had brown eyes, while others had brown eyes with a blue halo. (I think there were 12 of them). But they were all black. And many, as far as I can gather, grew up hating white people.

My grandmother still does. She will not hesitate to call someone a honky. She looks upon white people with disdain. My mother has mixed feelings. She's definitely had white friends, but she grew up in Mississippi in the 1950s and 60s. My grandmother's house in Jackson is less than 5 minutes away from the house where Medgar Evers was shot. All Medgar Evers was trying to do was register people to vote. That's it. Give Black people the inalienable rights guaranteed to them by the Constitution of the United States of America.

Several days ago on someone's blog, I asked if children are even made to watch "Eyes on the Prize" anymore. I know I was as a child, but I have a feeling these videos are viewed as outdated and irrelevant. Our history will never be irrelevant. As long as Black people are marginalized in any way, as long as the Revolutionary War, the Boston Tea Party, the Constitution, and the Civil War are all worthy of being taught, so is the struggle for CIVIL rights. One of the professors at Hampton is Earl Caldwell. He was the only reporter present when Dr. King was shot. He also followed the Black Panther Party extensively. His case, Caldwell v. the United States is the foundation of shield laws in which journalists do not have to reveal their sources.

My senior year, I decided to create a documentary on his life. I interviewed him for more than an hour, with the help of three of my classmates. Then I used footage from "Eyes on the Prize" for examples of what he was talking about. In seeing these videos again, I began to re-learn my history. And in many cases, learn for the first time. There was nothing civil about the struggle for our rights. In "Eyes on the Prize," "Mississippi State Secrets," and a myriad of other specials, we get the opportunity to see once again how hard our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents had to fight for what they deserved.

To not have to say "yessir" and "no sir" to a white person young enough to be their grandchild, and be called boy or mammy by the same person. To have the right to vote. To have the right to elect people who would fight for civil rights in office. To have the right to keep members of the KKK out of power. To attend schools that could prepare them for greatness. To be paid equally and fairly for their work. To hold office, national and otherwise. To one day own multi-billion dollar companies. To become CEO's and CFO's in mainstream companies. To produce television shows and films. To play something other than a mammy or a maid in those same productions. To win Grammy's and Oscar's and Emmy's. To impact the world. The things many of us take for granted. And its up to us to preserve it.

Mississippi State Secrets reminded me of what my family has gone through, and the reasons why it is hard for many of them to accept white people. For so long, that acceptance could have taken their self-respect, their pride, and their lives. One of my great-uncles was accused of looking at a white woman. (It didn't only happen to Emmett Till). My uncle had to shoot off his foot and jump in a lake to convince his would-be murderers he was crazy. His life was spared in one respect, but he spent several decades in an asylum as a result.

Mississippi's State Sovereign Committee kept files on civil rights activists. Many of its members were also members of the KKK. Sovereign Committe files directly and indirectly led to deaths, firebombings, and burnings of homes and churches. In the 1970s, there was a bill to destroy these files. Then governor, William Winter, had the foresight to veto the measure. He says, yes we have an ugly history, but we can't destroy it. I'm glad he did.

Oprah Winfrey (also from Mississippi) feels the word "nigger" should be taken out of the dictionary. My mother disagrees. And for the same reason the former governor of Mississippi did not want to destroy Sovereign Committe files. If we bury our history, no matter how ugly, we will begin to forget it. We can never forget what our ancestors had to fight for. And the injustices many people still face today, a biased justice system, driving while black, being ignored in stores.

So watch the programming, despite its almost trite appearance. Our ancestors fought for us to have it. And although our history is being recognized in February by the mainstream, as D. Sands says, "Black consciousness doesn't have a month." It's up to us to fight for our voices to be heard, and the rights of the poor and Black who have not had our achievements, regardless of the time of year.


Just Wandering

That's absolutely in reference to my state of mind. my mind is just wandering today. partially b/c i'm off. yay!!! i went to see the b.f. last week. we met in the middle. the big danville, pa. we always have a great time. he CRACKS me up!!! we're like two giant kids together. its so hard for me to use mixed capitals. at work all scripts are typed in all caps. so i've become very used to just typing w/o mixed capitals. makes it very hard when blogging. so today is a tribute to laziness!!!

can i say that i LOVE being off in the middle of the week? the weekend morning producer is becoming one of my fave people. plus the skeleton shift is so relaxing in comparison to all the madness of having too many cooks in the pot (i.e. a minimal of four managers in the building at all times when preparing for the 90 (a.k.a the 5, 530 and 6)). and one of the anchors has been jumping on my nerves the last two days. whateva. i'm not there so na nana boo boo!!!

i'm going out tonight. i had previously decided for the second time that wednesday is the new friday (since this month i'm off thursdays and fridays), making thursday the new saturday. go thursdays!!! and after this nightmarish experience, i've decided i will bite the bullet and hit the streets alone. no worries, guys! i'm not becoming a whore or a stripper/hofloozy lololol!! that was a hilarious arse post. go read it. speaking of strippers (how hilarious is that lead in?? hahahaha), have you heard "i'm n luv with a stripper" by t-pain? THE most hilarious song in too long. lololol. i mean his name is t-pain. what the...?? here's a lyrical excerpt "Im N luv with a stripper/She poppin she rollin she rollin/She climbin that pole and/Im N Luv with a stripper/She trippin she playin she playin/Im not goin nowhere girl im stayin/Im N Luv with a stripper" lololol word??? lololol. the part that cracks me up is "she climbin that pole." its so hilarious tho because he sings it with such feeling. puts his whole heart into his stripper love. kinda like olivia (yes the same one of recent 50 cent luv *pulling out vomit bag*) in "silly bitch in love" from her first cd. thanks to mich and morg for always singin along and introing me to the madness. lololol. and she's always singin her heart out in some foolishness!! lolol.

i'm bingeing on dvds right now. everytime i see a sale i'm like ooh!! i need that!! inthe last three months i've bought "mean girls," "brown sugar," "the color purple," "superstar" (which i'm watching right now... HILARIOUS!!! "just doing my part to save the rain forest." (which she says to a nun after getting caught making out with a tree, quivering and saying "ohhhh my body) "mary... you're a special girl. so special we're going to put you in special ed." lolololol). the b.f. gave me "cinderella" (b/c i'm a princess) ok not really. lolol. he gave it to me b/c he got it for free at work. lololol. two days ago i bought "love jones," "out of time" (grrrrrrrrEAT movie), "guess who" (pretty funny), and "redemption" (still haven't seen it, any thoughts?). was that enough? oh yeah and i'm still watching my fave movie "when harry met sally" w/regularity, too. today, mini movie marathon day. i do this at least once a week. this time i'm not gonna sit and drink beer so i can stay awake (unlike yesterday). lololol. too bad they're weren't any spike lee movies. he's my fave. did i tell you he's coming here later this month??? i'm so excited!! i don't think i can stand it!! whoooooooooo go spike!!!

b.f. i hope you're having a beautiful day. i love YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!! (lolol. you guys weren't expecting that one were you???) don't ever wonder. i'm always in your corner 100%.

can i say i love food? i do. big macs, french fries, italian, greek, mexican, soul food. dang i miss my momma!! yesterday at work at 3 in the morning, i wanted some of that breyer's strawberry ice cream in my freezer right now. as you can see it provides me with vitamins c and a, calcium, and even protein!! yummmmmm-o to quote my fave food network star rachael ray. if you do not share my love of her you can be oooooooooooooooooooout!!! lolol. i told the b.f. that's a breaking point. i can't be w/someone who doesn't love her. if you ain't gettin w/rachael ray, i'm just sayin, something's wrong with you. 30 minute meals got me cookin again. i'm not alone! how can you not love that smile???!! i got my mom watchin her, too. I LOVE RACHAEL RAY!!! she has like a million books. i want her latest 365 no repeats so bad i could cry!!! (perhaps i could use some of that dvd money huh?? lolol) she's the best!!! go rache!!! shouts to miss ashli for introing me to her back at our home by the sea!



So I've been tagged again. This time by BZ. Four things. Here it go.

Four jobs I've had:
1. Writer
2. Sales Assistant
3. Movie Producer
4. That's it y'all. I started late.

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Brown Sugar
2. When Harry Met Sally
3. Bamboozled (I love Spike Lee!!!!!!!!!)
4. Superstar

Four Places I have lived:
1. Charlotte, NC
2. Hampton, VA
3. Pittsburgh, PA
4. That's it

4 Shows I love:
1. Issac Mizrahi
2. Law and Order: Criminal Intent
3. Project Runway
4. Living Single

Four highly-touted TV shows I don't get the hype:
1. Desperate Housewives
2. Lost
3. Seinfeld
4. Trading Spaces

Four books I'd recommend to anyone, anytime:
1. Dancing in My Nuddy Pants
2. Anything by Walter Mosley
3. The Autobiography of Malcolm X
4. Blood Done Sign My Name by Timothy B. Tyson (you can also refer to several earlier posts where I expound on this one)

Four places I have vacationed:
1. Holland
2. Germany
3. Austria
4. Belgium

Four of my favorite dishes (i'll do cuisines):
1. Mexican!!
2. Italian (but I've had a lot of horrible Italian lately
3. Greek (looooove gyros!! -- pronounced "yee-rows")
4. Soul Food (duh) but I'm real picky

Four sites I visit daily:
1. Blogger
2. AOL
3. Google
4. I think that's about it!

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. My fave city, D.C.
2. Charlotte
3. Bristol, CT
4. Danville, PA (before you ask, no there's nothing there. That's where me and the b.f. meet in the middle about once a month).

And I'm tagging:
1. Spchrist
2. C-Nel
3. Urban Journalista
4. Chris


Fan Frenzy

That's right. This place has lost its mind. Understandably. But its hard to explain. I'm sure the Pats fans (bah humbug) know what I'm talking about. How much of an added insult to injury was it to have Tom Brady there? I fell out laughing. Was this not one of the most boring Super Bowls in America? I had to be at work at 1 this morning, so I was pretty much like, umm... yeah, sleep when I get off Sunday morning, wake up, watch the Super Bowl, go to work. Except it couldn't hold my attention so I went to sleep at halftime. Didn't see the infamous show excluding Motown performers. How much damn sense does that make???? In Detroit, if you insist on using washed up performers, how about using washed out performers from the area???? And who put that city on the map for something other than cars!!! How much do the Rolling Stones love being good family fun now?

Don't get it twisted people, I'm not a fan, my team is still Carolina. But I love a good party. I'm tryin to find em all!!! Considering going to the parade tomorrow, but who knows. Might take a few pics, etc., etc. But I will not be wearing black or gold or waving a terrible towel. Do you know they have terrible thongs????? Why?? Some things you take too far as you will see below.

The Associated Press lost its mind. News should not sound "like a line from a Dickens novel" to quote one of the producers at work. Nearly every article about the Super Bowl sounds like a fluff piece. But damn if it ain't hilarious!! Some excerpts if you will...

"Ben Roethlisberger sat in front of his locker with his fingers on the bill of a Super Bowl cap. He took off his left wristband - filled with plays - held it, rubbed it and smiled. He removed his right wristband and caressed it. Then, he sobbed." He sobbed??? Lolololol. I'm dying laughin!!

"You're a champion baby," teammate Larry Foote told Roethlisberger as they embraced in front of his locker. "You made this happen. Without you, we wouldn't be here." And this. I HATE Larry Foote!!! He's practices bein a nigga on tv. I'm convinced. One of the players let us use some of his personal footage from the weekend. It was Foote with a cigar in his mouth (I might be making that up), money in his hands, holding it in the air, rubbing it and wiggling back and forth. Stop watching Biggie videos!!!! In an interview with our 50+ year old white male sports director, Foote says (while wearing his gold teeth), "Oh you know me! I'm a dough boy!" WTF??? He don't know what that is!! I don't know what that is!!! Ugh!!!

There was another article I wanted to share with you. Damn. Anyway. It talked about people "weeping in the streets as snow fell lightly around them." WOW!! Lololol. Word? Doesn't snow always fall lightly? I've never heard loud snow. But I am from the South, so that could be it. It also mentioned the nuts w/Steelers tatts. Ok fyi. There will NEVER be that much pride in a team. However, with that said. I was able to turn from the alleged "super" bowl because of the boredom factor. I will NOT be able to do the same in tomorrow. Ain't that right Rell?? That good 21-1 record will look nice in the Dean Dome next to that good 14-5 huh??? For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, Duke and Carolina, baby. The only college basketball rivalry that matters. See you after the game!! Lololol


Your Lucky Day!!

I am offering a special treat to my readers today. Pittsburgh has more than 50 bridges spanning three rivers. I am going to jump today. I will let you pick from where. One day to Super Bowl XL and I feel like I've been covering it my entire life. For two weeks we have covered every single possible angle of this damn game. I have never cared less about any aspect of the Super Bowl. EVER. I don't even want to see a commercial. Why? Because yeah, we've already covered those, too. I don't care what the best commercial is, who the MVP is, I don't even care who wins.

I would like to warn Open Market Miller in advance she will most likely not like this post!! Lolol. If you are not familiar with the city of Pittsburgh, there is one thing you need to know. Do NOT mess with the Pittsburgh Steelers. You might get shot. Two weeks ago when the Panthers were playing in the NFC Championship (I still love you boo!!), I wore my Panthers shirt to work. Do you know this fool anchor called me out ON THE AIR four times?!! See?? People don't know how to act. He's all like, "There's someone in the building today wearing a Panthers shirt, I don't know what that's about." Then he and el weather mano (is that spanish karamale/dj boughetto stace? what about "el hombre de weathero?") are AD LIBBING ABOUT CONVERTING ME!! NEVER!! I may root for them ONLY if the Panthers aren't playing and it will in no way effect my team. Otherwise, be out. I'm very seriously considering wearing a "Shawn Alexander for MVP" shirt tomorrow just to see the shock and horror on the faces. OOOH!! I should wear it on Monday!! That would be fabulous!!

But for real. Random conversion attempts? What's next? A campaign to get me speaking Pittsburghese? F that. Hard. While running through a cornfield naked (another one of the real HU crew's sayings). There's more but you don't want to hear it. I promise. Lolol. Do you know these people actually have a society to study their crazy talk? . The people who talk funny like this are called yenzers. Its the strangest sounding dialect. And offensive to the ear. Its gotta be the most ghetto country accent you've ever heard. Think Newark, NJ meets Georgia. Are you thinking cacophony? Then, you my friend have found the yenzer way. BTW, yins means "you guys." There are like pages and pages of "Picksburgh" translations. I can't tell you how many people I've heard pronounce it like that. Not Pitt, Picks. Ok this wasn't supposed to be all about yinsers (it has multiple spellings, of course).

The doggone Steelers. Sigh. I can't wait until its over. Is it over yet? I can't take another day of all Steelers all the time, but I have at least one more day of this bullish!!!!!!!! Save me!!! Damn. There are at least three songs I wanted to link for you but they take more time to find than I want to allow for a team I can't escape. I found one site that has so many hits and so much demand, they're asking for a donation to keep it up and running. See??? That's what I'm talking about. Ok I found one. Now I must admit the "Peanut Butter Jelly" remix "Pittsburgh Steeler Time" f/Hines Ward is too hilarious w/him yelling "& Me! &Me!" over and over!! Lolol. And another hilarious one is "Pohlahmalu" taken from the Muppets video. All of these are on the same site. Cracks me up I tell you. It came from some announcer who couldn't pronounce safety Troy Polamalu's name. Its "pohl-a-MAH-loo" as you'll hear over and over in the song.

Here's how else you know this town is obsessed. Do you see that? Babies, animals, cars, houses, churches!!, probably even invalid grandparents. Anything who can't fend or decide for themselves will be assaulted with the "terrible towel" and any other assorted black and gold. Television viewership is measured by Nielsen. An successful newscast could garner a 23 share. That means 2.3 out of 10 people are watching that particular show at a given time. Steeler games are the most watched of any NFL team. Regular season games get a 60 share. This is virtually unheard of. What team do you think of when you think of overzealous fans? Pro Football, probably Green Bay, right? Uh uh. Second w/about 45. Steeler post-season games get an 80 share!!!! That's pretty much the top. That's it.

And yet, the madness continues. Penndot. Instead of traffic advisory messages, all the digital marquees read any variation of "Here We Go" (the team fight song) or "Go Steelers" or "Goin to Detroit." Washington, PA has changed its name to Steeler, PA until Monday. Allegheny County Chief Executive Dan Onorato has issued a permission slip for people to wear black and gold to work for the entire past week. Please. I'm so weary. I need to jump. Did you decide on a bridge for me?