The Oprah Groupie

Dear God,

I think I'm an Oprah Groupie. Its not like I love everything she does. Truly sometimes Oprah gets on my nerves. But I think everyone can get on your nerves sometimes. But I will not let anyone talk about Oprah. It's like Benita on "In Living Color." She says, "Can't nobody talk about Miz Jenkins! Uh-uh!!!" And she's screaming? That's what I want to do when someone talks about Oprah. It makes me really mad. I think she does such wonderful things I've ever seen in my life. She reports well. She has great producers. She has the Angel Network. She's trying to change the world. And she's doing it. She's one of the most well-known PEOPLE in the WORLD. That. Is. Amazing. Especially considering what she came from.

Now the main reason why I think I'm an Oprah groupie is because no less than twice a week, I find myself in the house alone clapping as loud as I can about something she's done or someone she's brought on the show. Is that necessary? I think I'm ashamed that I'm a groupie. I think I'm a closet Oprah groupie. Well, God, thanks for listening. I feel better now. I think. So can you hook me up? I want to work with Oprah. I want to learn from the most powerful Black woman in America. She's like the best. Please give me the hook up. Thanks.

Oh yeah, and God? Why is there a website for groupie gear? Isn't that weird? Doesn't that take it a little far? Just wondering. And since it says everybody's somebody's groupie, can I meet my groupie? Thanks again.