4.26.2006

Get out my bizness

First, I'd like to say F YOU Karamale!! LMAO!! I'm off to the queen city and will likely be unable to correspond w/the beloved blog fam. But worry not! I will not leave you in the lurch nearly as long as MISS A!!! or Karamale!! Oh yeah, I'm callin folk OUT!!

Anywho, when I said get out my bizness, I meant get in it. I've seen some very interesting concepts on other blogs so I'm going to try this. I'm gon let y'all ask me any question, as many as you want that you've been wanting to know or some philosophical bullish. Whateva. Reader's choice! So that's how you will entertain yourselves while I'm gone. Variety people. It's the thyme of life. Hahahahaha. I sound like a nationalized citizen. I know this lady from Spain who messes up all colloquialisms. "It's like a catch 77." or "Close! But no potato!" LMAO!! Anyway ask away.

4.23.2006

Bonjourno!

Hola mi amigos! One day I was bored at work and I realized I know random words/phrases in 5 languages other than English. Isn't that strange? I don't know how I keep meeting all these people who teach me strange languages. Spanish, French (know that one best), German, Italian and Japanese.

Soooo there was this crazy girl at work right? She was new. She asked me to get her a cup of coffee. A what? What does this look like? Its self-serve trick! I was shocked. How bout in case you didn't know, slavery is over. I don't drink coffee. I can't make coffee and I sure as hell can't get your coffee. I directed her to the pot. Don't try me. But I don't have to worry about her. She irritated the hell out of everyone by not doing her job and got fired the next day. Oh well. C'est la vie.

Last week was the week from hell. It was honestly the worst week of my short work career. The entire thing was enough to make me want to jump off of the tower. Me, the morning and the noon producers were all going to hold hands and jump together. Did you know people in Japan have been making suicide pacts? They meet on the internet and agree to meet together to kill themselves. They either get in a car and let it run in an enclosed place or pill overdoses. Now that's just crazy talk. Clearly you could not pay me to commit suicide. One because it would do no good. Not like you can take it with you. And two because its not that serious. I will not let my surroundings drive me to that. But the week was terrible. 56 hours but it felt like 70. I don't even want to think about it anymore. So that's it. I won't even tell you about the horridnessosity.

I will be home on Wednesday. WEDNESDAY FOLK!!! I can't wait. I'm like a kid waiting for Christmas. My mommy and her friend will be making ribs, green beans, mac and cheese, potato salad, and broccoli-rice casserole. I can't wait. I will also be attending the Northeast Regional Conference for Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. I bought a FABULOUS royal blue dress w/a blue and gold brooch to wear to the banquet. My girls will be going out with me. I should see some of my fellow Hamptonians. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!! I will also need to hit up my fave hometown restaurants, or at least places I can't eat at in Pittsburgh. Showmars, Bojangles, Backyard Burger. My mom was like, I'm mad all you're talking about is food! Lolol. Ok also, Nordstrom, a decent-sized Nine West store, Dillard's, Hecht's, go back and see my Express people. That shall be great fun!! Can't wait! And I get to see my line sister!!!!!!!

Speaking of the l.s. how bout she just joined a new church, right? In the new members class, the dude said, "Did you know 58,000 people go to hell a year?" HAHAHAHAHA!! God gives annual reports? That's AMAZING! Who knew? Not me! Can I sign up? Wow... is that how you get people to give their lives to Christ? By making up random stats? Nonsense. I told her she should have walked out. But then I would not have that gem for my blog, so I guess its good she stayed through her skepticism. LOLOLOL!

Omg! and I found out me and the b.f. are even more compatible than I thought/knew we were! He's at home right now and went to visit his neighbor and her new baby. His mom asked him if that made him want to have a baby. He said, "No, if anything it turned him off." Then, are you ready? He said, "I want to skip fatherhood and go straight to grandfatherhood." YESSSSS!! That is so hot! I was going to link you to the post where I said I only want to be a grandma and skip motherhood so then I could give them back. But I couldn't find it. Sorry guys. But yeah, isn't that beautiful?! Lolol.

Also, I would like to issue an apology for all of you who have ever been the recipient of a drunk dial from me. The b.f. drunk dialed me 5xs in one night. Luckily I didn't have to go to work the next day. But I was still like, I'm going to cause bodily harm to you!! He's the sweetest, though. He would pass people on the street and say, "I'm on the phone with my girlfriend who I love very much!" I told him to quit talking to strangers. Do you know then some white guy was like, "Hey that's great man! I know all about you guys my best friend is black." What the fu.....??" What is it with white people. Back at home I laughed in this white girl's face when she said that to me. I was like how is it that all white people have a black best friend? If that was true, racism wouldn't exist. That's bullshit. And its amazing how your black best friend wasn't able to tell you he is not the representative for all blacks. We're not a homogenous body and you should shut the *boop* up.

4.14.2006

State of Black America Part V: Names

"In contemporary usage and in the work of pop entertainers such as rappers, "nigger" (or "nigga") is spoken as a form of "liberation" from convention. To those who use it freely and even fiercely, it means that a black world exists with its own rules in which the word is well understood in its various meanings. In the real world, nigger is a traditional insult; it applies to a position down below, which black swagger, comedy routines, and rapping have no power to change. If racists believed any of that theory about liberation through repetition, they would already have found another word to express their contempt, their paranoia, their hatred."
--Excerpt from The Artificial White Man: Essays on Authenticity by Stanley Crouch.

This book is not as engaging as the previous quote may lead you to conclude. However, that excerpt is the best part, and therefore worth exploring. This is not just about the word nigger. It's about all words used to demean and demoralize our experience and place in America and conversely uplift or simply identify. Nigger, nigga, nigra, coon, darkie, monkey, African booty scratcher, jungle bunny, Uncle Tom, sellout, Black, African-American, Afro-American, Black-American, Negro, Colored.

We fight for and against these labels throughout our lives. It makes me wonder where we will be in terms of our identities when our children grow up. How will we explain to them the evolution? Because I think the current generation and the coming ones have somehow and may continue to miss that lesson. Many of us have some vague sort of understanding of the progression from the slave nigra to the African-American. But apparently not enough to escape from calling each other niggers. Oh excuse me, that's nigga, right? I never got that. What's the difference? Either way you'll be mad if some white person calls you that. I'm not going to act like nigga is not a part of my vocabulary, but it is increasingly annoying to me. Like, do you have no other way to address me? My friends love that word.

The more I work around white people for the majority of my life again, the more sensitive I become to the word. Its like if one of these people were to get so comfortable around me that the word slipped, there would be a huge problem. And while I have some sense of the fact that they know there is a line that should not be crossed, I also feel them getting more and more comfortable. There have been several questionable things that have slipped out that were right on that line of making me want to harm someone.

One of my corporate America friends had this conundrum in the last couple of weeks. Someone at work asked her if there was anything she preferred to be called. Of course the first thing she smartly said was her name. Then they asked if it mattered if she were called Black or African-American. She said it never really mattered to her, and there was only one word that was unacceptable. Then one girl asked, "Well what about colored? Is that okay?" I have no idea how I would have reacted if put in that same situation. But my first thought was not well intentioned. Let's just put it that way. Obviously I wouldn't have been murderous, but like I said, I don't know how I would have reacted.

Another friend was at a party with majority white co-workers present. They were sitting at table playing cards. The friend we'll call Y was the only Black person at the table. One of his co-workers was listening to Biggie's "Juicy" on his ipod and felt comfortable enough to say the word nigga singing along with the song. Y didn't say anything but everyone close enough to hear it was instantly uncomfortable. Y didn't want to make a scene and turn the few Black people against the ignorant white boy who thought that was acceptable, ruining the mood of the party. On the one hand, you don't want to be that problematic Black person and ruin the relationship with your co-workers. But on the other hand, you don't want to give the impression that that kind of language is acceptable. I think in that situation I would have been a lot more willing to make a scene.

Another friend has a problem with being called African-American because she's not African and "has no ties to Africa." She also cites the fact that people who immigrate from Africa and gain citizenship are considered African-American. I never understood either of those lines of reasoning when I heard them before, and they were not any clearer when reiterated recently. I am Black, I am Negro, I'm probably even colored. But I am not a nigger. I am African-American if for no other reason than it reminds someone that my ancestors were brought to this nation in chains in the bowels of ships, stripped from their families for centuries while they built this nation to what it is today. So what is in a name?

Nigger has been used as a means to keep Black people in their place. Yes, many believe that we are stealing the power from the word. But if the power was truly gone, perhaps we would not be so offended by its usage among other races.

4.09.2006

I'm Not an Alcoholic...

...Im a Drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings-Bumper Sticker

I got this survey from ChezNiki and I'd like to say damn her b/c I said I wouldn't do another of these... But come on!! This is tooooo up my alley so stop cursing me all those who have tagged and I have not obliged. I'm just onery. So here it is....

1. What is your favorite beer? Honey Brown. Yuengling and Amber Bock are tasty, too
2. Favorite mixed drink? tanqueray and tonic
2a. Favorite straight drank (as opposed to a straight "drink" which would involve better liquor) oh honey, no! I only drink good liquor. No bottom shelf for me! Ain't that right Miss Ashli? Lol
3. Favorite shot? No shots for me anymore. I always used to lose count of how many I had and not count them along with whatever else I had been drinking. So I'd be on like drink number 4 and have a beer and be like, why do I feel so drunk? Oooooh. It might be those 3 shots I had. Yeah....
4. Who’s your favorite person(s) to go drinking with? Morgan, Michelle, Stace, Ashli, Chantee, dear old Dad! :)
5. Favorite bar? Hmmm... in Pittsburgh, I would say Sports Rock. At home, I don't think I have a fave.
6. If you are trying to get really drunk, you drink... tequila. Or two of anything I make. There is a reason I call myself the one hit wonder. I can knock most (esp. girls) out w/one shot!
7. Favorite day of the week for drinking? Any day b/c any day could be my Friday.
8. First drink you ever had? Blackberry rum. Sooooooooo good!! You can drink it straight and it tastes like "kool-aid!" :)
9. First drink you got drunk off of? Thug Passion. Wow...
10. When was the last time you drank? Right now. I couldn't remember so I decided to go get a beer out the fridge. Now that I think about it last Friday I had a Bailey's and Hennessey and I think Thursday I had a parrot bay mango w/oj.
11. Last time you got really drunk? Thursday a week ago
12. Last time you got sick from drinking? I think 2003 but I could be wrong
13. Last time you passed out? never
14. What’s your favorite holiday to drink? doesn't matter. ooh! but my cuz always has these cook-outs 4th of July so I'll say then
15. Have you ever started drinking before noon? Yep. By that time I've either been up for 9 hours or 12 so that's happy hour to me.
16. Favorite thing to eat when drunk? breakfast! love it!!
17. Favorite drinking game? we don't need drinking games. chug-a-lug!
18. Favorite person to have drunk conversations with? the b.f.
19. Have you ever had drunk sex? No.
20. Favorite person to call when you are drunk?the bf
21. Favorite song to sing when drinking? whatever's on the radio, usually something really ghetto and hyper, either southern or bmore club
22. Best drunk story you ever heard? stories about me from my friends that I ordinarily don't remember or can only remember after they tell me. like "what?! for real! no i didn't! I did? damn... oh yeahhhh!! damn... oh well!" oh yeah and stories about the CT and NY parental parties!
23. What famous person would you like to go drinking with? Henry Simmons, but only if I could grope him afterwards (that's what chezniki said and I have to agree! be-yoooooooooutiful!!)
24. Where’s your ideal drinking location? anywhere my friends are that I don't have to drive from
25. Any alcohol related arrests? nope!

4.04.2006

Oprah? Stupid? And other "neat" stories

So the model republican (at work-- called such b/c his fave outfit is khakis, navy blazer, white shirt, red tie, american flag pin on the lapel, and "dock shoes") tries to tell me Oprah is an idiot. Yo. I almost had to jump up and show him what set I'm claimin. Don't try to play Oprah. He doesn't know who he's talking to. That's grounds for a beat down. Clearly Oprah makes more in a day than you make in a whole year, so perhaps you need to get up on her special brand of idiocy.

How bout PA has some rich ass teachers. So they will strike anytime they feel. Don't like your contract? STRIKE! and the parents get all pissy and pressure the school district to just give 'em what they want. 80k. yeah, you read that right. there are teachers in the pittsburgh area who make 80k a year!! wtf?! i'm in the WRONG profession! are you kidding? and in one local district, they just approved a contract that gave the teachers an avg. yearly raise of 3.9%, again i say, WTF?!! now i have more than the avg. appreciation for teachers, but come on now. teachers in NC might not even make 1/2 that. I agree, that's not right, but 80k?! geez!!

if you have not seen "inside man" directed by spike lee you need to go see it RIGHT NOW. its not a game. the man is a genius. i love him anyway, but him, denzel, and clive owens showed their asses (in a good way). phenomenal. and if you are a regular reader you know i am very picky and kind of stuck up, esp. when it comes to my entertainment! examples? ok here, and here and how about here. so when i, as a filmmaker and journalist, tell you to go see a movie because it is cinematic genius, trust.

22 days until i am in charlotte, nc for the first time since july 8th. THANK GOD!!!

duke v. memphis. the model republican spewed some more foolishness. he went to memphis so claims memphis is a better team. this belief is based partly on memphis making it to the elite 8. wtf?? you beat the 13th seed, bradley to get there! get outta here. stop the madness. so then he's like i'm willing to bet you right now memphis will be better than duke next year. you're on. stop the madness.

duke women tonight, do the damn thing. win it all.

barry bonds. ok may or may not have done steroids. not a baseball fan so i'm not really caring either way. but "fans" have gone too far when they throw a SYRINGE at him on the field. are you kidding?!! that is foolishness. the black male athlete character assassinations are still rampant, in case you missed that memo.

smoking pregnant girl. there's one at work. that is ridiculous. if you don't care about your own health, can you care about your child's health? i hate to say trailer trash, but come on. my cousin loves her cigarettes, but she sure as hell quit while she was pregnant. and that fat baby proved that! lol. low birth weight and all sorts of defects is what you're setting your child up for. asthma. come on. that is ridiculous. so appalled.

aight i guess i'm done ranting and raving about everything and nothing. i'm sleepy. oh yeah and i love my boyfriend. he is wonderful.