1.19.2006

I'll Drink to that! or The Luscious Duchess Strikes Again

So in college, DJ Boughetto Stace used to call me the Luscious Duchess. And with good reason. I mean I was not playing. I had a drinking partner (excuse me for the southerners and youngblood fans, drankin patnah) and all. It started sophomore year. First semester me and the d.p. had fridays off. That's right. No class on Friday. The weekend started after Cotton's class. Cotton was the best. Real hard on you so after class you needed a cold something. (or during, but that's another story) 445, time to find the one who would contribute to the delinquency of minors. Amazingly enough (or not so amazing) it was easy to find.

But by the time senior year rolled around, all the cleaning up other people's vomit, keeping the drunk people away from phones, alleged biting incidents, fights, machetes outside parties and just general debauchery, I decided to join Chinagirl as group bartender. But it was hard to find people to drink my drinks unless they wanted to be out with a quickness. I liked to call myself the "one hit wonder." Yeah! That was great! Ahhh good times, good times. Plus hangovers? Yeah not that fun. Plus when its so accessible because we're all 21, I mean what's the big deal right? Lolol. It was hilarious.

So D (that's my dad) has swollen lymph nodes. Ew right? And he sounds NASTY! Please stop coughing around me. I don't want your ebola. I really don't. So he comes downstairs rubbing his throat and says, "I need something for my sore throat." I had prescribed o.j., others suggested Gatorade and hot tea. But I know D. I see him go to the cabinet and grab one of the short glasses. I said, "Uh uh! You're not getting wine are you?" He gives me this crazy look and shakes his head (he's on the phone). I say ok. Then I hear the cabinet open. I'm like, wtf? I know... I say, "I gotta check on you... D! How is tequila gonna help your sore throat????" I tell you... black people. Lololol

Oh yeah. And there are a lot of people who are so hard on tequila. That's because you're probably drinking it straight (only for the strong, not the fake strong, the really strong. like the regular drinkers) or that bottom shelf crap. You ain't gotta go for Patron (although I do recommend it b/c the flavor is SUPERB!!!) but 1800, Jose Cuervo Especial and Tradicional are also excellent choices. A good rule of thumb: If it comes in a plastic bottle, it will most likely have you grasping the porcelain bowl. Any questions???

11 comments:

T Dot said...

Cotton: driving more and more college students to drink every day. I feel you - me and my homegirl used to be plotting and planning happy hour after we got out of Cotton's class (3 p.m.) - we'd be like, 'go finish class, do your thing, meet at my house 5:45 - we off to the bar.' Rum & Coke and Martini -ing it up, I tell ya!

Rell said...

i've had swollen lymph modes before and let me say it is a painful experience. It's like having a sore throat throughout your entire mouth and part of your heard.

Not fun...

Epsilonicus said...

Liquor that comes in a plastic bottle is poison. I had this "Russian" vodka called Vladimir. That shit had my feeling like I just drank gasoline. It tore my stomach up. I did not throw up but i was not feeling pleasnt.

Stacie von Kutieboots said...

If that's not the best rule of thumb (no plastic bottles!) I don't know what is! That goes for your drinking container as well. I went to a New Year's Party and asked for a chocolate martini...this PROFESSIONAL bartender pulled out a SOLO cup and started to make my drink! I said "I refuse to drink out of a SOLO cup unless I'm in Compton rollin down the street smokin ____, sippin on gin and juice. I'll take water thankyouverymuch." You might be boughetto if...

jameil1922 said...

@talia... girrrrrrrl yeah. for no reason. one of the crew had cotton for her last exam ever and brought the liks to the exam. no you didn't!! lololol. chinagirl used to make the ILL martinis. all flavors. off the chain.

@rell... yes, but did you use tequila for your cure?? i hope i'm not getting it. i feel a sore throat coming on. is it contagious? maybe its subliminal.

@epsilonicus... ugh. i think i've actually had that before. i think that's what turned me off vodka. not a huge vodka fan. toooooooo many bad experiences.

@stace... oh i WILL get at the solo cup... but only at like a cookout bbq. that makes you feel all back in the day and ghetto in a good way. but you're right, if you're a pro, i'ma need you to get up on the glass or at least the 4" clear plastic cup. where fresh hell were you?!! lol professional bartender my ass!!! lololol that damn fam... *shakes head*

oh yeah stace, you remember cotton. he taught mass media in a multicultural society for the black diaspora aka black pantherology! lololololol

BZ said...

Life is too short to drink cheap liquor. Top shelf all the way, baby! Alcohol and I have a very intimate history together. :-P

Ejoy said...

haha, people wonder why I enjoy drinkning beer...they don't know my "D" or my sis. My first taste of beer was because of D and my first taste of liquor was with my BS(big sis). I bet swollen lymph nodes aren't as bad as mono...

"N" Search of Ecstasy said...

Allright Luscious Duchess! LOL

I remember those good ol days when I was college. ~Sigh~

I know what dad is going through. I was sick as a dawd over my 3-day weekend last weekend. Not fun!

Tell dad to get plenty of rest to.

Dos Dedos said...

sizzurp=black people's cough medicine. :| smh.

Supa said...

Patron is tha bidness!!

Hope Pops is feelin' better. Bird flu's going around...

jameil1922 said...

supa sista!! lolol! no HN51 over here please!! you are crazy! lol

n... that dude d. i tell you. that's what i said but we can't get him home so whatever. tequila it is!

ejoy... ew!! i forgot you had mono. that's nasty. hangin w/all them white girls sharin water bottles. go eagles! lol.

i'm gettin the feelin he might've passed that ish over here. ugh! please don't let me have caught the ebola!