I thought I'd highlight some people that have me literally SCREAMING with laughter. Now I won't act like it doesn't happen often, because it does. And honestly, I crack myself up sometimes. I mean sometimes I think I'm hilarious. But you have to because if you don't give yourself due props sometimes, then who will? Speaking of which, I had the MOST hilarious convos with one of my peeps about tattoos and piercings.
Friend: I am trying to figure out where to place this new one so no one can see
Me: have you run out of places? how about the crook of your arm or the back of your neck under your weavelolol
Me: the bend in the elbow silly or you could do your left ass cheek. ooh! shave your head, put it there and wear wigs until your hair grows back!
Friend: ooohhhh.... enough!!! lol
Me: lololol. i'm just trying to be helpful. geez. so ungrateful
Friend: I want to put it somewhere where i can't put it now but it won't be horrible when I am old
Me: i'm goin w/ass cheek... do you know how funny old folks homes will be in like 50 years w/all the tats
Friend: I can put it there now... that is hilarious... hopefully they will take out the piercings
Me: miss michelle, i'm gon turn you over sweetie and... well i didn't know they called you "i'm rick james bitch."
Me: ah!!! people will be trained to recognize eyebrow, lip, vaginal, nipple and tongue piercings Me: or the holes where all of the above used to reside... as well as belly button
I mean how funny is that? Nursing homes are gonna be hilarious in like 40 years. Rappers and actors and grunge people, oh my! I can't wait. I really can't.
"I've never wanted to help so much in my whole damn life." -- Stacey London "What Not to Wear." That's one of my favorite shows!! I'm such a fashion junkie. I'm the crack whore of fashion. This girl that Stacey was talking about was truly a mess. Like for no reason. Hilarious!! Honey! There are old ladies that wouldn't be caught in a CASKET wearing your daily attire! You give elderly people a bad name!! There's this lady at the station I feel like that about. There are several people that I'm like... honey. I can tell your clothes are outdated. I'm not asking you to be a fashion guru (see me), but I am asking you to look like you are on television for a living. Is that so much to ask? You make waaaaaaaaay more than I do. I know you can afford it.
"I don't care if you have to cry and cut, but you better cry and cut." --Zulema, "Project Runway" (PR) Another one of my fave shows! [(Do you see the smack? Maybe I'm the smack whore of fashion. What's smack? Is that heroin? I think so. For some reason we had this convo at the station one day. (Don't ask)] Anway. On PR, they were partnered up for the most recent episode. Zulema (of course Black) was paired up with this girl Kara Janx that was crying because their original design was tow up. I mean truly a mess. And she's like bereft and unable to focus. There was a time crunch, and that's what Zulema says. It was funny on the preview, and even funnier in context!! Lololol!! Just cut bitch! You know that's what she wanted to say!! Lololol!! I DIED!! DIED with laughter!! Lolololol!!
"alicia keys has recently replaced mariah carey as official branch chanteuse, as ms. carey has been recently deemed unfit to remain affiliated with the coalition after her 15th music video where she sings to, dances with, and runs from coalition members only to land in the arms of a former oppressor at the conclusion of the video. as ms. carey had been previously warned, this type of behavior is counterproductive to the aims of the coalition and will not be tolerated by its members" --Karamale "Ghetto is As Ghetto Does" response on... my blog! Karamale CRACKS me up!!! Like for no reason. This is just an excerpt of the hilarity!!
"What are you talking about? She's just like me. She looks like me...only not as cute. She talks like me...only not as eloquently. She thinks like me...only not as intelligently. The issues we had are the same issues they have. He's basically doing our whole relationship over again..only not as well. It's like "Us: The Remix" only with a poorly mixed sample. She's the cheap knockoff version of me. She's like "compare to Lauren" perfume. It's sad really." --Lauren on Ex-Boyfriends. I was DYING laughing when I read this. I really had to pass it around the world. Lauren has become one of my favorite bloggers. And I mean come on. This is so me! Lololol!! Us... The Remix. Lolololololol!!
"I'm... pretty tiny. So even if it's Aisha approved fur, if it's furry and envelopes me from my neck to my knees, I look like a giant ferret. My scrawny little face with big eyes poking out over animal skins is just not very flattering. Maybe to a hunter but, not for urban trekking." --Aisha T on fur. This girl CRACKS me up!!! I mean for no reason. I literally fell out laughing!! Lolololololol.
"Wow! WOW! That's like fashion as religion! That's like... that's like... televangefashilism." --Isaac Mizrahi about Finola Hughes traveling 8 hours in a car to go to H&M. Lolololol. People. I really don't want to have to say this again. But if I will I must. You HAVE to watch this show!! He CRACKS me up! I almost poked my eye out on the credenza because I was literally, LITERALLY convulsing with laughter!! Lololol!! There's no way you can't find it funny. He's so ridiculous! It comes on like a gazillion times a day now on the Style Network. Yesterday it was on from 5 to 8 and again at 11. But its normal times are at 7 and 11. Go watch this show!! Tonight!!!
Now this is one of the most hilarious things I've read in about my whole life. It makes no sense. Clay Cane. Most of you are familiar with the hilarity. Too hilarious!!!!!! http://claycane.blogspot.com/2005/08/beyonce-sucks.html Go there. I'm tellin you. Even if you are a Beyonce fan (like my line sister) you will see humor in this. Although there was also a hilarious comment where this dude bout threatened Clay's life for Beyonce "slander." Lolololol!! Some excerpts if you will...
"Everywhere I turn I am forced to look at Beyonce, see her perform, or God forbid see her try to form a complete sentence! She is overexposed and it drains my spirit - being a lover of music I can't get away from her ... on the Oscars, which I only watched because of Chris Rock - I was violated by THREE performances of Beyonce and ONE in French! I NEVER thought I'd be asking for CELINE DIONE!" oh and there's this...
"Every awards show she is throwing her body around as people fall to their feet begging to lick her Popeye Chicken stained fingers! SOMEBODY MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Popeye's stained fingers!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!! Lolololol!! But wait! There's more!
"Many people wondered if Texas Christians would condone her being half naked on stage (she was the most unclothed person of the night) and being slayed by Jay-Z with no signs of marriage? Is Beyonce popping her heat-seeking coochie on stage for Jesus???????? Does she hope the pelvic thrusts she taught Oprah will somehow inspire people to be a good Texas Christian like herself, George Bush and her pappy who is currently getting sued for sexual harassment?" Lololol!! Heat-seeking coochie on stage for Jesus!!!! LAWD!! I had to do a good ole Southern SCU-REEEEEM on that one!! God bless Clay Cane. Too much!!!
I had way more links on this one. I really did. But my ISP should be shot(!!) for logging me off mid genius!! Ugh!! I was linkin like a crazy person. But alas. Here it is. The hilarity I had to share. It was bursting from my SOUL!! I'm sure there were more. Thanks for giving me something to obsess over guys!! I read toooo many blogs. How many? I have (wait let me count)... 63 on my favorites. Luckily some of you are too lazy to post more than once or twice a month. Kisses!!!