That's the phrase we used to use in college (my crew) when one of us got some or got played hard, either one. Takin one for the team. Lol. I was gonna post that last, first, now list but I decided not to be lazy since I'll be in Connecticut soon and most likely won't post again until Thursday. Plus I've just seen it on toooo many blogs and you know I'm too vain to think I'm doing something everybody else is doing. However, I will get up on that horrible ass date joint. I, ha, HA! I have taken one for the team. Matter of fact since this is bout "its ma baby mama(yee'n't know?)" (a lil Three 6 Mafia for y'all), I'm gonna give you a two for one special.
So my first interaction with a dude from Pittsburgh left quite the bad taste in my mouth. I'm not really too interested in being down with anymore of them. Let's get right into it. So I meet this dude at a club. I know you're already groaning, but I really don't have issues with meeting someone in a club. First because, obviously I'm there so all people you meet in a club can't be bad, second because I'm not really in the club looking for a life partner, and third because I mean where the hell else am I supposed to meet someone? (although I am joining the Urban League Young Professionals of Pittsburgh so hopefully that will help!)
So, I'm in the club, right. Its an "other" club and shockingly enough, I actually have a pretty good time. The music is actually better than the "black" clubs that I've been to here. I've been told b/c all the good black clubs get shot up and eventually close. Wow. Makes me want to get out of the house. I tell ya. Anyway. I'm still scoping the crowd even though black men in these sort of clubs are notorious for not even dancing with a sista. I just want to see who's there. This dude catches my eye. A little pale for my taste, but hey I don't discriminate all the time. If you're cute, you're cute. So he spends the next HOUR catching my eye. Whoa dude. That's quite lame. I'm sayin, if you're catchin my eye that consistently, WHAT fresh hell is taking you so long to come say something? *first clue*
He finally comes over and starts dancing asking me the normal questions. Now I don't really like people trying to get to know me by yelling in my ear in the club. *second clue* I really don't like people who can't dance. *third clue* I'm from the south, and I like to go out in Baltimore and DC. What does that tell you? I want some booty music, and when it comes on, I need you to get down. Don't just stand there and expect me to shake it on you because you WILL get shown up. Don't go out like that. So then he asks if we can move off the dance floor to talk more. *third clue* If I'm feeling the music and all into it and you ask me to step off the floor, I'm annoyed. Especially because I don't get out all that much and I LOVE to dance. Go Charlotte, its ya birthday. That's funny. This dude at HU used to call me Charlotte and last night/this morning on the way to work (my first time driving in the snow-- Lord have mercy!!) I heard the Luke b-day song for possibly the first time in 5 months-- and on the "other" station. Ooh la la! "Is it Leo? NO! Is it Scorpio? NO! Go Virgo, its ya birthday, go Virgo its ya birthday." Owwww! Hotness!
Anyway back to the issue at hand. So old buddy asks for my number and hands over his phone. I look at his phone and see a little girl. *fourth clue* I don't do baby mamas and when I finish this story I'll tell you why. I said, who is that? He said my little girl. I said, "I don't do baby mama drama." He said, "It ain't no drama. I'm actually the crazy one. She broke up with me when... I'm not gon lie I was in jail for 9 months." *fifth clue* I'm not saying you can't have jail time, but I am saying you're not looking any better for that shit. And I'm also saying I then need to immediately hear about your life goals. That's anybody, but when you have all this shit stacked against you, you need to be real forthcoming with why I need to be paying you any attention. *sixth clue* If somebody tells you something about themselves, you should believe it. Read that sentence again. They mean it. They know themselves better than you. Despite ALL of that, I thought about my boredom and the fact that the only person my age I knew in Pitt was about to move, and gave him my number. I know.
So we play phone tag for a while because I really don't want to talk to him. I finally call him back and he's like, "Yeah... I'm stuck in the house..." I'm like why? He says, "Because I'm on house arrest." Come again??? I say for what (I met dude less than a week prior). He says, "Parole violation for something I ain't even do. I ain't smoked in years, but I was wit some people who were smoking in an unventilated (he probably didn't use that word) area and when I got tested they found weed." *seventh and final clue* That just looks stupid. Lol. Seven clues. It should not take all that. Ever. Reason it was the final clue? It goes back to choices and goals. If you are so irresponsible that you don't think about refraining from being around people who don't have your best interests in mind, and you also don't mind possibly going back to jail, AND you are not working toward your goals and by the way, what are those goals? ... ummm... yeah. You're not for me. Sorry bout your luck.
Now the person who FOREVER turned me against baby daddies. So I was talking to this dude. First problem. He didn't even tell me he had a daughter. I had talked to a guy with a daughter before, but he made sure to let me know he loved and supported his daughter, within one of the first conversations. I found out about this other dude's daughter b/c his boy told me thinking I already knew. Busted. If you're gonna have a kid, you better be supporting it. So one day I'm coming home from work and I get a call from the baby mama. Yes she did! She called my phone like, "Yeah me and Juan are getting back together and I just wanted to let you know." I was like, "Umm... ok whatever." So of course I promptly delete his number from my phone b/c regardless, you will never, EVER have some bitch callin my phone. Yeah she gotta be a bitch for being that bold. So a WEEK later he calls me like nothing happened. Come to find out he knew she was gonna call. Then he tells me that she was lyin and she said that to come between us and it's working. I said, hell yeah its working! You KNEW she was calling and you let her and didn't bother to say anything! Then he proceeds to tell me that she came to him with my name so I had been talkin about him and one of my girls must have been running her mouth. Whoa. Please get off your own ish. You are not that fly. I had to get Norfolk St.-FAMU on him (lololol). I was like, "Nigga I don't even know your last name!" Ugh. Get that outta here!! Needless to say, that was the last for his ass. And I'm out.