Just Pee On Him Already! or It Ain't Fun til You Split Your Pants

I know it is quite ironic that the title of this post would be as such considering my last post, but its too appropriate for me not to use that title. I mean, come on. Doesn't that just sound like the beginning of a classic post? exactly. being lazy again today. recovering from a hangover so you may or may not get mixed capitals. i'm bombarding my system with water so hopefully i'll be good to hit the streets again tonight (again, not in the streetwalker kinda way).

so last night went out with a coworker who always knows the thursday nite hot spots. remember the one with the crazy girlfriend? yeah him. and i don't know if she planned to be there the whole time, but she sure as hell wasn't missin this night once she heard i was riding with him. 5 words. IN. SE. CUR. I. TY. does that count as five words? so anyway, we hit up this place called nakama that's a sushi bar by day for drinks. the largest tanqueray and tonic i've ever had in my life. i got the drink and was like ok who serves "adult beverages" in the regular coke or water glass?!! i shoulda known right there i was in for one hell of a night.

so we're standin around talking, (me and said co-worker), and his friend R shows up w/his gf Wendy right. Wendy and I start talkin b/c her and R are about to start up a long distance relationship and they don't know if they can do it or how hard it'll be, whatever. i'm like, you can do it you got it in you (dun dun dun, no eggs, dun dun dun, no baloney!-- sorry random brown sugar moments abound w/me, mostly b/c i watch it at least twice a month. already watched it 1 and 1/2 times this week. i'm thinkin about puttin it in right now. its like background noise for me. you know how most people have music? too distracting. i have brown sugar.) anyway. i was like yeah it'll be hard, but it won't be that bad b/c they'll see each other every weekend and they've been together for years already. come on now. if me and the bf can deal w/seeing each other only once a month, you can do every weekend for a little while. chill.

so anyway we're all havin a good time and in walks the gf. we'll call her "miss i." she walks in w/a friend who she's obviously been bad-mouthing me to, b/c she's all givin me the once over and shit. i'm like bitch don't try me, i ain't from pittsburgh. i'm from matthews bitch and we don't play that. HAHAHAHA!! you would be fallin out laughin if you saw where i grew up. two-story house in the suburbs of charlotte. hilarious!! but for real. i have a real nasty streak and i can be a bitch if i need to. don't try me. don't do it. so the g.f. gets all up in my bizness when wendy and i are talkin about my man askin all kinds of questions but still trying to be superior, esp. when she finds out how old i am. BITCH!!! STOP BEING SO INSECURE!! you ain't got to do all that!! i mean damn! wouldn't it just be easier to pee on him?! it would. then you wouldn't have to waste all this time kissing up on him or holdin him tight. whatever you were doing b/c i sure as hell wasn't paying you any attention while you were doing that. and he was kind of confused by it. so anyway then she buys me a cosmo. hey. i'm always good w/free drinks. but that bitch was tryin to patronize me and i don't take to kindly to that.

so whatever we head over to another club district. btw if you are a bar head/alcoholic/club rat and not too picky, pittsburgh is the city for you. this place has so many club areas its not even funny. south side, carson street, the strip district (one of my favorites, and no its not a bunch of strip clubs. i don't even know that there's one), station square. i'm sure i'm missing something. and then bars EVERYWHERE. But anyway. So we headed to this club Matrix (ignore the techno on the website! lol). Big fan of Matrix. But it could be the 3rd free drink I got. This time it was a cranberry and vodka drink. A cape cod. Yesss! (I'm working on learning drink names).

So I'm loving it up in there. There are 3 rooms. An 80s room, a techno room and a top 40s (meaning mostly negro music) room. You know where I stayed. Ok maybe you don't. the negro music room. not a big fan of the old school. its too hit or miss for me. plus i like to hear the newest shit possible. not quite the right club for that but you get what i'm sayin. so whatever. "marcus" (co-worker) takes me on the tour of the place to show me all the rooms. and that's when i split my pants. you know that fat man scoop song "drop"? yeah that shit came on and you know i had to show off. split the pants but no one knew. i just tied my jacket around my waist and kept it moving. it was great!

we go get the rest of the crew to bring them into the room. i start dancing and i danced w/this dude for mad long b/c it was just dancing. there was no, what's your name, can i hold your hand, inappropriate touchin. none of that. just do it. that's how its supposed to be. like a one night stand on the dance floor. see how i'm not even looking into your face? i have no idea what you even look like. names are immaterial. i'm not going home w/you tonight anyway and you're not getting my number. lolol. so yeah, i was having a good ol time showin out dancin w/ol buddy. then we stopped dancing and i was dancing by myself for about 3 seconds when some other random dude comes up breaking all the rules. asking my name, do i got a man, you not from here, you here for the nsbe convention (nat'l society of black engineers). why are you asking me all these questions?!! damn! is this an interview? i already got a job! just shut up and dance. and he couldn't even get down like the last dude. it just made me miss my baby. definitely one of my favorite people to dance with even before we were together. that's what i'm talking about!! i can always take you to the club! lol. the foundation of a good relationship, right?

miss i is still showin out. pee already!!! do it. just mark your territory. then if i get within smelling distance i'll get a whiff and know, oh ok that one's taken. i'm ignoring her ass. so ridiculous. esp. since everyone else is chillin and she's on 10. i need you to take that down to about a 4 1/2. don't nobody need all that. see? she done got me breakin all my english down so maybe she can understand it. and she had the nerve to tell me accounting's fun.... right. like a root canal. ain't that right michelle? lololol at the end of the night, i'm sure she gave me some trite good seeing you again bullshit. like i said i wasn't payin her ass that much attention. about as much as you can ignore that gnat buzzin around your ear. to an extent but its always on the periphery until finally you have to smack that ho. lolol. the good news is the hangover is gone and i am ready for more debauchery tonight. i killed it with water. fyi drink an entire glass of water (force yourself) after a night of too much drinking where the room is doing crazy things when you lay down, get up and get that water. it will cut that hangover in half or eliminate it all together. its great. that's all my lovelies! see you soon! if you didn't read the last installment on the state of black america, head over there. just scroll down. see it? good. now start reading.


The State of Black America Pt IV: Rapists and Child Molesters

There is no doubt that rapists and child molesters exist in nearly every community. This, like many, is not an issue unique to the Black community. However, we seem to push our issues to the side. We refuse to get counseling when we have them or ignore them until we have convinced ourselves that they have gone away.

This post was inspired by R.Kelly. Most of you have probably seen the infamous tape. I had no less than 5 opportunities to watch it, but I couldn't. Why and how could I watch that? Pittsburgh is preparing itself to welcome the alleged molester to the town of three rivers. I heard the radio announcement lauding his concert appearance at Heinz Hall, one of the most hallowed musical establishments in the city. On and on the announcement went until I had to turn the radio off in disgust. Why is it all of that?

At least 4 of my friends have been raped, near raped, sexually assaulted or molested. And two of them within three months my senior year in high school. One of them was white, but it took a horrid tole on her life, too. The first was my friend Y. She was in college and one of her friends wanted to take her out on a date. She said sure and felt comfortable drinking with him. They got quite drunk. He walked her back to her room and thought she was so drunk she would willingly have sex with him. She wasn't THAT drunk. So she said no. He kept going. She said no again. He still kept going. She started crying and begged him to stop. He still kept going. He kept going until he had raped her of not only her trust, and security, but part of her spirit as well. By the time she called me, she had reported him to the university. He was found guilty, even though he denied it, because she had gotten a rape kit immediately afterward. He was expelled, but she still didn't feel safe. So she left school and went back home. Even 100 miles away from him, she couldn't sleep in her room alone so for months she slept on the floor in her parents' room.

I had another friend tell me she had been nearly raped. L was a junior in high school. A cheerleader, very popular, very pretty and a straight A student. Future valedictorian of her class. She had a lot of friends, both male and female. One day she went to the bathroom after school and her football player friend followed her. He tried to rape her. But she was able to get away. She told school officials but they didn't believe her. The policy, the school claimed, in these situations was to suspend both students. He was the star and had a game two days later so he was only suspended for a day. She was suspended for a week. And by that time, he had convinced most of the school she was a lying whore who wanted it. She found out who her real friends were. There were only about 3 of them.

My third friend to tell me she had been raped was R. She says she's been date raped multiple times, at least 5 She didn't really think it was a big deal, though. She said, she told them no she didn't want to, but they kept going anyway. She didn't think it was a big deal because in at least 3 of the cases, they had had sex before. I said, R, did you tell them you didn't want to? She said, yeah, and I pushed them off of me, but they kept going. This disturbed me because it made me wonder how many times it had happened to her that she couldn't count or how many other women thought it was acceptable for a man to do that when she had clearly said no.

My fourth friend was molested by her uncle. She never told her mother. He raped her multiple times when she was 9. He was her mother's brother. She still has to see him at family functions.

Only the first friend got any counseling. We have got to stop creating a culture of silence. We have got to stop making it the victim's fault. Well she wore short skirts, well she was drunk, well she, she, she. When its someone famous, whether an athlete or whatever, I never automatically believe he is a rapist. But I also do not automatically believe he is not a rapist. I wasn't there. I don't know. But I do know this. Rape is never about availability of sex. It is always about power. So no, I do not want to see the R. Kelly tape. No I do not want to go to the concert. And no, I will not be buying any of his music. Because while I do not know, I do know child pornography was found at his Florida home, and that nearly five years later, he has not gone to trial.


Damn All of You

But especially Michelle for being the most recent person to insist I go to myspace and get a page. I decided to do some looking around. I said to myself before I even went, I'm just looking. But its like going shopping and you can afford it. If you see something you like, you look a little more, then a little more, and finally you just have to buy something. So I hope all of you are happy!!!! Especially you and you and you. But for real YOU. I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS YOU BITCH!! You and your damn peer pressure!! LAAAAAAAAAAA!! That was me trying to let off some steam. And it didn't work!! As if blogger isn't addictive enough. You give me crack with pictures. Thanks. For nothing.

P.S. You might want to come back in two days if you want to see me sane again. But I make no guarantees.


Chasing Me

I am determined to be successful. I'm hell bent on the shit. At one point, it was all about the awards. I had a teacher at Hampton who had 5 Emmys. I said, "Oh yeah, that's what I want." I want 5 Emmys by age 30. When I decided I wanted to be a photojournalist, it was Pulitzers. Now its the success that will make me happy and change the face of Black America. That's what I want. I want to propel us to new heights. To inspire children to reach for the best when all or most of their immediate influences are subpar.

You know when the Powerball was at an astronomical level and people were talking about what they would do if they won the lottery? Well, I thought hmm... I would start a production company and start making movies. Mostly documentaries about Black people. Well... I guess that's just what I should do. And then there are all these things I love to do and am good at. I know that sounds ridiculously vain but its true. You have to know your strengths in order to achieve. Otherwise you'll find yourself chasing failure and I'm not down with that. Why chase failure when you can chase success? Sometimes I get tired of being the familial model, though. I feel like both of my parents look to me to be the most successful person in the family. That shit is a burden sometimes. And that's not to say they don't want my sister to be successful, but I'm the oldest. So they expect me to do it first and lead the way. Be the shining example.

So the other day I'm walking the scripts up to the studio and I say to myself, I love to argue, research my point and win. What career is that? Duh. An attorney. But I just don't know about that. I did have an offer to go to law school for free though. I love school, but if it means I'll have to stay in Pittsburgh, no thanks.

BZ is talking about moving to Miami b/c she loves Florida. She said when she's there she just feels at home. I know its strange, but that's how I feel about DC. People always look at me like I'm crazy when I say that. But its my favorite city. I have to drive through/around DC to get to Hampton from here. Every single time I go through, I always think, damn. I don't want to keep driving. I want to stay here. I love that city. I don't know what it is. It just feels like home. And it doesn't even have to be in the city. Just on the outskirts and I'm already happy. I love that there are a minimum of 3 radio stations playing music I like. You know what else does it for me? That there is always something to do and a lot of people.

And then I love writing. I really do. But only non-fiction. I can't do the whole novel thing. That just ain't for me. So I'm also on this whole what is my life goal thing. And what will I do with my life. Its kind of fun. I'm glad to be 23 with a moderate level of success and little responsibility. And you know what, I really love my job. I love being in news. But I cannot live in Pittsburgh for more than 3 years. And I think even that is a stretch. A big one. I would have to have a significant raise and promotion to do that. I heard about an opening as a producer at one of the other stations here. I didn't apply because I am horrified at signing a contract requiring me to stay here for a minimum of 3 MORE years. That is appalling. So like I said, I'm still working on it. I don't know what I want, but I love that. I have plenty of time to "find" myself. Self! Where are you?!


Racist Children, A 20-minute Ipods and Hot Rock Rubbin

Aight so here is the promised second random post. First let me just say, for everyone who is reading this and did not know me in college, I am a college basketball/march madness ho! I loooove me some march madness, more specifically DUKE!! Whoo hoo!! I love the best rivalry in college basketball. If you have to ask, let me school you. Its Duke-Carolina. So today this guy at work tries to tell me that Memphis is winning the championship. I'm like, no way. He says I'll be you Duke will not win. I'm honest. I know it will be a surprise if Duke wins. But not really any more than any other team. I mean really. Who is the team you've known all year. You knew ok its _______'s year? There isn't one. We've been talking about it over at Rell's Place all season. But Memphis? I'm goin w/no. So he tries me. So I did what I always did when some man underestimated me. I went straight to ESPN. Let's compare. All day it was straight stats, players, strength of schedule (my personal favorite). Don't do it. He finally let it go (for most likely the first time in his life) when he realized he wasn't winnin this one. Uh uh. That was fun! Very exciting! :) lol I LOVE to argue.

So I went to Columbus and went to shopping heaven! It was like *insert angelic choir* "ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Ohhhh it was so great. My favorite store, Nordstroms! Express, Lucky Brand Jeans, Guess, BCBG, Gap, Apple (computers, not like the kind you eat as the bf thought. :) he's so adorable), this store called Ruehl that was like Hollister upscale, pretty cute, the biggest Victoria's Secret I've ever seen in my life!! great!!, and 4 day spas. And on and on. We were there for 9 hours. Yes, you read that right. 9! We ate twice, got hot rock rubs, and shop, shop, shopped!! It was great! No, I'm not rich and I don't make that much, but I also don't spend that much. I go shopping once every month or two. So its nice. Me and my friend Michelle the accountant from the good old H of U met in the middle. She lives in Ft. Wayne, IN.... right. That's why she needed to get thee hell to civilization... and negroes. Lol.

So she asked me, "Do you think children can be racist?" I was like, "Hmmm... no..." Then she tells me about this kid of one of her co-workers who runs and hides every time he sees her. And guess what the co-worker said, "Oh he just likes blondes." I fell out laughing. Hahahha!! She swears that's code for "he don't like niggers." Lolololol!! So then when I'm waiting for her to finish trying on clothes at Macy's, these two little white toddlers can't stop grinning at me. So I decide, no. Children are not racist.

We walk by the Apple store and I'm like ooh! I get a discount with Apple w/my company (hot right). We go in to look around and she's like I think I'm going to buy an Ipod. She has the shuffle but wants to buy the big one. The real deal. So I'm the bad influence and I'm like, yeah, sure. You're a corporate america accountant, you can afford. (Yes most of my friends are hugely successful for new college grads! :D I'm so proud of us!) So anyway, she does (no, not w/my corporate discount.. ooh la la I have a corporate discount! hehehehe). Then spends the next 20 minutes depressed about spending 425 in the first hour. So I'm like, well then return it. I'm that girl too. Just do what makes you happy, geez. Lol. So she does, and creates the 20 minute Ipod. She was so cool and hip and happenin for 20 minutes.

So the massage right. My first. I hated it. I know that sounds stupid and kinda crazy, but y'all know how I feel about strangers touching me. I hate it!! And especially when its some whispering white woman touching me like my man should. Too much. Then the rocks are all heated to 150 degrees. Ok again. Too much. And you're supposed to say something but I was so bothered by the whole idea that I was like uh uh. The fact that I walk in its all dark and candlelit, there's a table w/a sheet and she's like ok remove everything and then get under the sheet. ewww. ok I watch Style network more than the next person so I've seen it, but that was not cool w/me. Not even a little bit.

My mom's bf (whoops in that case I mean only best friend, not the double bf like me), our soror Karen says she doesn't like massages for the same reason. Now, being that I don't like people touching me, that should've clicked for me. But I was like, "What's she talking about? Its professional." Umm.. no. And excuse me. Its called a "hot stone massage." I mean I understand why they call it that. Because who would go if it was called a "hot rock rubbin?" i wouldn't. Or as Mich says, "Hot rock body ruuuuub." You gotta make the ugly face ill grill when you say rub (imagine you're doing the sexy TI snarl) lolol. No, no. That's not right. Try it again. This time try the Que ill grill. Now say ruuuuuuuuub. Hold the "u" out. Ruuuuuuub. There you go! Owww! That was hot! Lol. I'm practicing. I'm going home in a month. Its bad enough that I will know maybe 3 songs played the entire night. I must be able to at the very least lean wit it rock wit it and make the ill grill. Or I will be shunned. My friends will disown me and I'll be all alone. It will be so sad.

And now I think my cds have been stolen. I'm depressed. All of my 112 cds, my trey songz, my raheem devaughn. those are the ones i'll miss the most. i'm still in denial. like oh they're still here. they're just misplaced. but there's nowhere they could be. i think they were stolen. i'm gonna go jump off of something real quick. if you don't here from me for a couple of days, that's where i am. no i'm kidding. wasn't that hilarious. just kidding. i know it wasn't funny but hey i have to laugh so i don't go slit my wrists. oh shit i'm doing it again aren't i? damn that morbid streak. i've known a lot of dead people really young so death is not a big deal to me. not like in the fake gangsta "i'm always ready to die way," but in the "part of life is death" kinda way. i plan my funeral all the time. ok this last paragraph has weirded you out enough i think so i'll just go now. kisses! :) lolol


Where you been girl?!!

I know you're saying to yourself, "Self, where has that jameil1922 been?" Well I'll tell you, all over creation and nowhere at the same time. I know you have also said to yourself, "Self, jameil1922 is gettin awfully deep into my black business up in heah, when is she going to do one of those crazy sidetrack bob-ish things again?" Well, here it is! And today, there will be two. You know why? Because I can do that. Also b/c I will not have time to write all of it at once.

So the schedule has slowed down considerably, thank GOD!! I was in danger of losing it. So its lent right? I "gave up" soda. All that means is that I have drank one soda a week (or two) instead of 4. And there have been times where soda was available and I drank water or juice. I'm very proud of myself so THERE! Lol. I know, so weak right? Anyway. Pittsburgh is more than 50% Catholic. That means there are fish sandwiches on sale everywhere here. Arby's, McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, the Italian Market. And do you know I went to Taco Bell and there were at least 5 "Lent Specials"????? Hahahahaha!! How hilarious is that?! Its like the whole area is like, yeah, you're not gonna catch me slippin, no way! I will be offering my meatless options, yes indeedy!

And on St. Patty's Day, Al on the Today Show said "It's noon somewhere!" when he was about to have a drink! I second that emotion! But then again, since the latest I go in to work is 430 in the morning, I usually only drink before 7 anyway!

I had this crazy dream last night that Cole from Martin was one of my boys. So we're in this club (he was himself, not Cole, so of regular common sense, but still funny) and he decides he's going to carry me everywhere. Not like a baby or on his back but like w/his elbows under my armpits. Strange but hilarious. He does this for a good 20 minutes. Talking to people, dancing, leading a conga line. The whole 9. It was great. Then we decide to throw a party. We're in VA/West Va. for some reason. We go to this grocery store and our friends steal a case of lobster. Then they decide to pay for some of the other stuff they stole. So one of them comes back in with a bag of greens with a giant live fish flopping around inside. They throw the fish back and go to pay. O...kay right? Lol.

March Madness is ever be where!! I love it!! But only b-ball. I hate the car sales, women's networks and everywhere else that tries to get it on it. I'm like booooooo! I love, love, LOVE this time of year! George Mason knocks out Carolina (kisses rell! :O) lolol). Duke still doin it big then. I would say 80 % of the teams I picked are out. Ok I just checked again. I'm doing better than I thought. I picked 10 of the Sweet 16 teams. That's not bad for March Madness.. But I had Pitt in the Elite 8.

Congrats to my little sister for crossing the burning sands into the Illustrious Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Incorporated, Omicron Eta Chapter.

Block Party. If you love Dead Prez, Common, Talib Kweli, Mos Def, Erykah Badu, Jill Scott, the Roots and the vibe they all have, you need to go RIGHT NOW to see it. (But finish reading first). The joint is tight. I wanted to stand up in the movie and act like I was in the concert. But I was w/a white person. And the only Black person out of 7 people in the theater (it was the middle of the day). I didn't want to be stereotypical. Lolol.

Before that I went to the Church Brew Works. Just wrong. But the food was so good. I had the potato and leek soup; the spinach, feta and artichoke dip; and the sun-dried tomato pesto pasta. Deelish!! Love it! :)

Less than two weeks ago, there wasn't a day below 60 in the five-day forecast. This week there isn't a day above 38. What kind of ish is that?!! Its almost April!! Give us us free!! Down with winter, down with winter! (That's my picket sign). Winter is now a part of my boycott on holidays. How fitting seeing as how the holidays I'm boycotting are in said season.

My Rachael Ray book is the BOMB!! Too great! Love it so much. Miss A asked me if it had vegetarian/vegan dishes. Yeah girl! But let me tell you about the two I've made since the book. The first was a chicken cacciatore stoup (thicker than a soup, thinner than a stew). It had chicken, garlic, onion, spinach, mushrooms, chicken stock, tomatoes. It was DEEEELISH! (To quote the illustrious Rachael Ray). The other meal was gently seared pork chops w/a homemade mushroom gravy, baby red skin smashed sour cream potatoes, and spinach. So great, my brother, who was in town for a day left me no leftovers. I was a little pissed about that b/c I love leftovers.


State of Black America Part III: Hair

This post has been on my heart and mind for a long time. I have natural hair. But because in the south, I'm considered dark skinned, I've always been made to think and believe only light-skinned girls had long or "good" hair. But I had a good foundation. My mother, though light-skinned (relish the terms, people. get the message without getting caught up in that for now. we'll discuss "skin tones" in another part of the state of black america), never made me feel negatively about my hair. She always told me my hair was beautiful.

I used to want hair like my sister's because it was thick and long. Mine was short and "fine." Isn't fine a hilarious word to use for hair? Its like the consolation gift. Kind of like skinny people who like to be called "thin" or "slim." Call it like it is. I have thin and often weak hair. But its mine. I cannot and will not subscribe to the idea of "good hair." Believe it or not, there are people who still use this term. Its mine. My line sister has very curly hair, what most people would refer to as good hair, but she has just as hard a time controlling it as any other black woman.

I wanted to cut my hair and "go natural" for a long time before I did it. One of my male friends from home told me I should cut my hair because I have a great head shape. Isn't that hilarious?! Lol. That was back in high school. I just kind of laughed it off. I was afraid to cut my hair because I had been told I was ugly for too long. Then I started consulting people. All of my Hampton friends were all for it. My family was another story.

My father and my aunt tried their hardest to discourage me. I think that just strengthened my resolve. It made me stop and think for a while, then I did it. It took me the entire summer before my senior year. April 17, 2004 I did it. I went to my hair dresser and told her to cut it off. She was horrified. I think that made me want to do it even more. But by that point, I had made up my mind. There was no turning back. My hairdresser at home is in her 70s and couldn't do it. She just couldn't cut my hair. So the younger assistant did it and I loved it. The next week, I went to a natural hair place and got my hair twisted. My boyfriend at the time was so scared of me cutting my hair. Then he saw it and loved it. My mom loved it. Everyone I saw could not stop talking about how much they loved my hair. And it turned out my hair was soft and curly. Not at all like my new growth. And I had no idea what my natural hair felt like. But once I saw it again, I loved it. I wondered why I waited so long.

From Pittsburgh, my father asked why I would do that. Whatever he was trying to imply, I really didn't care. I was like forget it. It's done. I was scared to go back to school, though. I didn't know how people would react. But again, everyone loved it. Then I started, well continued to worry about how I would get a job in journalism w/natural hair. After I graduated and started looking for jobs in earnest, my aunt told me I should wear a wig to my interview. She and her husband tag teamed me. They said I could do whatever I wanted once I had the job, but I would not get a job with my hair like this. When I finally got an interview up here, I said, you know what? I don't care. I'm going to wear my hair naturally, and if I don't get the job, then its not meant to be, but I am NOT changing who I am. They loved my resume, the 6 stories I wrote in 30 minutes, and my personality. Exactly a week later I started at my current job. Without feeling like a sell out.

I hear all the necks and eyes rolling of the women with perms. Hear me out. That's MY personal journey and struggle. We all have our own journeys. That's the point. We have come a long way in our hair struggle, but we have a long way to go. Not only do we not accept ourselves, we don't accept each other. Embrace your hair, whether its natural or relaxed, curly, straight, "fine," thick, nappy. Whether you're tender headed or whatever. Its you and its your hair. Don't let anyone tell you what to do with it. Love it. You'll miss it when its gone.

So what's the state of black america? We're not there yet. We are still letting what other people think and feel sculpt how we think and feel about our hair. That must stop if we are going to continue to advance. Be who you are. One day, I'm rockin the fro.


Can You Repeat that Please?

And the OSCAR goes to.... y'all know who I'm talking about. I know I'm late, but I've been busy. I just got off of an 8-day week, and celebrated by meeting the b.f. in the middle for a one-day love fest. It was great. You may have it bad if you will drive 8-hours roundtrip in less than 24 hours. Wow...

Anyway. I used to be a HUGE 36 fan back at the good ol h of u. Like I had a playlist that was all 36 and UGK. My roomie soph. year was from NJ. Sooo anti-Southern music, right? By the end of the year she had favorite 36 and UGK songs!! How hilarious is that? You know if she went home singing them, her people would've looked at her like she had sprouted a new head. I also passed the Southern love on to some of my New York friends.

best line of oscar night: in case you're keeping score, martin scorsese: 0 oscars, 36mafia, one.

From the b.f.: Crunchy Black, Juicy J and DJ Paul win an OSCAR for best Original Song from a Motion Picture!!!!!! "You know it's hard out here for a pimp. When you try to get da money for da rent. When da Cadillac and gas money's spent. You'll have a whole lot a b!+che$ jumping ship. FREE PIMP C" apparently he does not read the blog. BTW, this goes along w/my thing about rappers and their names. And these two are absolutely in the running for wackest rapper names ever: Jordan Hunter and Paul Beauregard. Word? Jordan and Paul? Wow.

So I got a flurry of emails and text messages and phone calls about this. I didn't believe my l.s. when she said 36 got an oscar (of course i was sleeping thru the actual event). Here are a few AP blurbs written about the group.

LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Juici J of Three 6 Mafia says he was running around so much backstage at the Oscars, people must have thought the police were chasing him. But his running was for joy -- as the rap group picked up the Oscar for best song. The Memphis-based rappers did "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp," the song from the movie "Hustle and Flow," without cursing or the graphic language that made producers of the show cringe. Not only did they pull off a major upset with the win, they were the only Oscar winners to take to the stage to pick up their trophy clad in throwback jerseys, sneakers and bling-encrusted overlays on their teeth. During the performance, they were joined by Oscar-nominated actress Taraji P. Henson, who also performed the song in the movie. At one point, she substituted the word "witches" for one of the words in the original lyrics.

Hip-hoppers Three 6 Mafia `Pimp' the Oscars
LOS ANGELES (AP) -- The Oscar people showed they were ready to embrace a song called "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp," and the hip-hop group Three 6 Mafia couldn't have been happier -- or more surprised.
When Three 6 Mafia's name was called Sunday as the winner of the Oscar for best original song, its members bounded joyfully onto the stage, where they offered shout-outs to friends.
"I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't stand still," Jordan "Juicy J" Houston said backstage. "I had to run somewhere. I started to run somewhere. People thought the police was probably chasing me somewhere."
Host Jon Stewart was especially impressed.
"That's how you accept an Oscar!" he gushed.
Stewart joked that the Memphis group might have to "get into it" with Itzhak Perlman's "posse." The classical violinist had earlier performed a medley of Oscar-nominated film scores.

Really? Hip hoppers?
Here's how one of my friends responded to the first article:
of the many things wrong with this, these are my key points of irritation:
1. grills. at the grammys? maybe. at the oscars? are you kidding me??
2. "running around backstage like police was chasing him". geez. stereotypical much?
3. juici j. enough said.

Now, perhaps you are not very familiar with the level of nonsense 36 has rapped about. So let me give you a few song titles to help you along. Please remember this song is now in the same category w/Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On." Now the song titles.

Mafia FT Trillville- Who I Iz
Juicy J - Slob On My Knob
Project Pat-Azz Clap
Who Gives A Fuck Where U From
Project Pat-Gel & Weave Breakdown
36 Mafia FT Fiend - Get The Fuck Out My Face
Fuck That Shit
36 Mafia, UGK - Sippin On Syrup
Lord Infamous - Where Is Da' Bud
Project Pat- We Gon’ Rumble
DJ Paul-Still Gettin My Dick Sucked
36 Mafia-Weak Azz Bitch
Who Run It
Hit a Muthafucka
I'm So Hi
Mafia Niggaz
Hook Up W/ Hoes
From da Back
Fuck Y'all Hoes
Where da Cheese At
Tongue Ring
Barrin' You Bitches
Whatcha Know
Act Like You Know Me (Point 'Em Out)
Take a Bump
Ridin Spinners
Ass and Titties
Playa Why You Hating
J Lo Booty
Two Way Freak
Late Night Tip
Baby Mama
Don’t Turn Around
Let Me Hit That
Testin My Gangsta

That is not anywhere near the full list of their songs. Now, you don't even want to know how many of those songs I know most of the words to. I don't want to talk about it. And I'm sure some of you are surprised by how many you know, as well. "Testin My Gangsta" is one of my favorites. And tho I'm from the South, I was pretty sheltered, so I had never heard most of these songs until I met people from St. Louis, Memphis, New Orleans and strangely enough, Richmond. That's a hood city on the low.

Also, the b.f. calls me "Juici J" occasionally. I have now asked him to only refer to me in that manner if he is going to use the proper title: Oscar Winner Juici J.


The State of Black America Part II: Katrina

Who is tired of hearing about the people affected by Katrina? Raise your hand. If your hand is in the air put it down and give it to me so I can smack it. Then read on.

If you're wondering why the Katrina debacle is still a story 6 months and one day later, let me help you. There are so many issues and so many people who will be impacted by Katrina, directly and indirectly for the REST OF THEIR LIVES, that I would really love a Katrina channel. I'm not kidding. That would totally be the first thing I turned on everyday. Think about it. It would offer the latest news, with breaking news scrolling across the bottom of the screen. The last couple of days would be the first Mardi Gras after Katrina: Party 'til It Hurts No More. or 6 Months Later and Still no FEMA trailer. Today would be, New Video Released Shows Bush knew the Severity of the Storm Before Katrina Hit. Get it? And there would be features. Not just New Orleans, but the entire Gulf Coast. Cost-wise and particularly in our community, this is the most expensive natural disaster ever. Ever.

The channel could also have features. It would show the story of someone, who may or may not have returned. Some people may never return, some will only return for a visit, but refuse to live there again. In case you don't know what I was talking about with the FEMA trailers, let me help you. There are thousands of trailers sitting in NC because the agency has not yet determined how to give out trailers. One woman has had her trailer and just got electricity on Sunday. Sunday. As in 6 months since the storm hit on August 29th, Sunday. The sewer system is still nearly non-existent. More than 200 New Orleans police officers either deserted or quit. And that's only in New Orleans. Along the Gulf Coast, and further inland, there are people who did not attend school for weeks. There are entire towns flattened.

My family is from Mississippi. I also have family and friends in New Orleans. This is not something that can be fixed in a year or even five. This is something that will be an issue for most, at the very least, psychologically for the rest of their lives. Imagine this. True story. One of my closest friends, my favorite roommate in college, Kristen is from New Orleans. Her then 14-year-old brother left home that day with his mother, grandmother, other sister and niece. Their grandmother hadn't wanted to leave their house. They're used to flooding in New Orleans. It's below sea level. It floods all the time. Kristen's sister was hysterical after hearing the reports and insisted on leaving. So they all left, taking some pictures, important papers, and three days worth of clothing. They went to Alabama and have been there since. Kristen was on the phone with me watching CNN pointing out her high school, her sister's best friend's house, parts of Xavier University, recognizing streets and knowing her entire two story house had to be under water. Her brother took none of his favorite things. When Kristen asked why, he said, "Because I thought we were coming back."

Then I saw another news story about these kids who finally got to come together and play a football season, and a set of brothers who liked their new school, but just wanted to go back home. One of them just wanted to finish his senior year. That's when I started thinking about how all the kids are effected. I can't imagine what it would be like to leave not knowing there were people in your life, at your school, in your neighborhood, you would never see again. Can you imagine that? The neighborhood you lived in all your life is completely gone. Decimated.

But what if your parents decide they want to rebuild? Then they may need to find new jobs, or get insurance money when the company has said there was only flood damage and you don't have flood insurance. And not only that, everyone around you has been given money for wind damage. Then there's the issue of the other people in your neighborhood. You have to make decisions based on what your neighbors want to do, as well. You can't live in a neighborhood where you're the only home and there's only blight surrounding you.

When I have a minute, I just search Katrina on the AP wires. Every day I find a story. Every. Single. Day. The Katrina Channel. Check it Out.

*If you know someone who would like to make this idea a reality, I don't mind. Just ask them to offer me a job. I already have several ideas. I only need a contract with benefits and due compensation for the contacts I already have. Anyone know Spike Lee?

For the part I of this series, click here.