Bus Crazies

I can't escape them. This semester I've twice garnered a seat near these 2 old white men on their way to the hospital. I don't know how or why they've suddenly found my bus. Maybe it's because MY schedule changed, not theirs. Either way, they are driving me nuts!

Guy 1: Hey everybody!
Everybody: *blank face*
Guy 1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Everybody: *eye roll* *silence*
Guy 1: To get away from this guy.
Guy 1 and Guy 2: *guffawing*
Everybody: *sigh.*

Guy 1: Hey, what's your name?
Poor girl: Lisa.
Guy 1: Hey Lisa! I'm Gary, and this is Bill!
Poor girl: Hi.
He interrogates her about school and bores her and she is the most polite thing ever.

Guy 2: I have to have a sense of humor. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to shave in the morning.

He tells same joke this morning.

Here's my thing. Can you NOT bother people with your craziness and especially at 9 a.m.? Thanks. We love you for it. You have a friend with you for a reason. Bother him. And I know someone's gonna call me mean for talking about old people like this but old, young, whatever, I don't really have much to say to people who shout to entire buses.

Oh and the guy my age who engaged me in a 9 minute conversation (that felt like 40) at the bus stop yesterday, brought on by my SGRho umbrella. ("Are you being hazed right now or hazing people?" -- For real? What's up question you NEVER ask people. And certainly not as an opener. How YOU doin?) Can you not? Like ever again? Thanks.


Anonymous said...

I put my "Baltimore mug" whenever I get on the bus. I hate the crazies.

Jazzy said...


i got such a kick out of why'd the chicken cross the road? to get away from this guy!

reasons why i take my ipod EVERYWHERE!!! i'm not a morning person, so this would DEFINITELY annoy me.

the joy said...

I feel for you. This old man got on the train fussing and cursing about someone looking at him crazy, then sat next to me and started talking about doing for others and getting into heaven. And pointing at me! Like, that old person finger of death. I wanted to run!

Monie said...

Ugh, I feel your pain. I'm glad I don't ride public transport anymore.

Rashan Jamal said...

Yeah, if I was on that bus, I know they would have been talking me to death. Ipods, phones, books dont deter people from talking to me.

Momisodes said...

Oh honey. I am so sorry. People like that drive me nuts. I was the "poor girl" a few times at Starbucks :(

Unknown said...

WOW!!! One of the many reasons I hate the bus and pray that I never find myself in a situation where I have to utilize public transportation.

me said...

LOL at the hazing question. When I lived in DC, I learned not to make eye contact and just act like I can't hear them. Maybe they'll switch up their routine soon.

1969 said...

Uh....so were you? Hazing people? LMAO!!!!