In A Relationship

Rashan added me as his girlfriend on fb last week and I know it's weird but I felt mad naked as soon as it happened! There are pics of us all over, I talk about him all the time, and yet with that relationship status on fb, I was freaked out! I've gotten over it, though. Funniest? The wording of the email fb sent me to confirm, "Rashan said on Facebook that you two are in a relationship. We need you to confirm that you are, in fact, in a relationship with Rashan." Who wrote that first sentence? Are they out of elementary school? Because that was written like a tattling 5th grader. And the second sentence is almost like a lawyer wrote it. If so, why didn't he/she proof read the first part? Side eye, fb. Side eye.

I don't appreciate my mom's friend who said, "Ooh! New relationship! Congrats! Details! :)" I said, "Thanks. We've been together about 15 months." (Which all of my closest friends, not close friends, people I've met a couple of times, former coworkers, classmates, parents, close and kind of close relatives, bloggers and lurkers and his bloggers and lurkers know... i.e. 100s of people....) She said, "Well make sure you keep me posted so I have plenty of time to buy a dress! ;-)" Face. Are you serious? I haven't spoken to you in more than 20 YEARS. And neither has my mom!!! I didn't want to add you on facebook but you requested me until I said yes. At least 3xs. I have this thing about strangers "friending" me. I don't like it. I know bloggers who post once a week better than I know you. And you're old. Old people on fb creep me out... including my mother... who does not text or have the internet at home but now wants to join twitter. STOP WATCHING OPRAH RIGHT NOW, MOM!!

When I get married to whoever I get married to, it will be relatively small. I have plenty of cousins I don't know like that who won't be getting invited. (Remember I have at least 36 first cousins.) I.e. I know we're cousins but 1) what's your last name? 2) what's your first name? 3) I wouldn't recognize you on the street. I don't want to be surrounded by strangers on that day. Fall back. My mom was surprised by my reaction and said, "She's known you since you were a little girl! I don't think it's unreasonable that she would think she'd be invited to your wedding." Um... yeah... but again... 20 years??? Get your life together. Okay maybe that last line was harsh but come on. I will have a destination wedding just to discourage people like you. Hmmm... methinks that probably wasn't less harsh... What is wrong with people? Here is where I welcome your input. Not what I'd say to her because she's getting ignored but go crazy with what YOU would say to her. Also give some actual crazy "I can't believe you didn't invite me to your wedding!" story or an example of someone who would say that to you and get the ug mug. Have fun!


Nerd Girl said...

LOL! I was that way about my wedding too. Seriously, if I don't know you or haven't seen you since I was 3 ft. tall? Don't come. I want to know the first and last name of everyone who comes through that gate. If somebody has to explain to me who you are? Yeah, you're not invited.

My mama is on FB too. It's not as bad as I thought it would be. Yet.

Ginae said...

I too only want to be surrounded by close friends and family on MY day....there is this 100 year old lady that goes to my mom's church. I use to go there when I was younger as well...every week she tells my mom she's waiting on her wedding invitation for when I get married...huh? really? first off I haven't seen you since I was 12. Secondly, at 100, is that really what's on your mind these days...and third...you're 100! She's a sweet old lady but I have no connection to her except for the fact that I use to go to the same church eons ago.

I could never see adding my mom on FB..If I had to, she'd be mad because I'd have her in her own nice little category where she had accessed to nada on my page..basically she'd be able to see my friends and that's it and well, what would be the point of that..lol..

That's funny how you feel exposed now that Rah has claimed you on FB..

Go Rah, Go Rah...claim your girl!

Mau said...

LOL at "And you're old." Sugarcoat much?

As far as weddings go, ours was obscenely large. Yes, it was OUR wedding, but it was also a family celebration (of sorts) so we didn't edit and police the guestlist nearly as stringently as we could have.

Your mileage may (and will!) vary.

Ladynay said...

I feel you on the wedding thing. I have a large family as well and I think me and mine may just go to the courthouse, sign some papers in front of a witness, invite folks to a party then when they get there find out it's my wedding reception! LOL!

My mom is allergic to the computer (that's the way she acts anyway) so I don't have to worry about her or her friends trying to be my friend online! LOL!

Sha Boogie said...

LOL @ 'fall back', gurl bye!

I totally feel you on that naked feeling, I have yet to add my husband to my relationship status on FB.... and yes to the small wedding! Why go broke feeding people I don't even talk to on a regular basis, no and thank you ma'am!

Minerva Exertion said...

LOL @ "Get your life together!"

I'm with you on the small wedding. The older I get the less tolerable I become. I've been to a wedding that had almost 1000 people in attendance. I think my friend just wanted to boast "everybody was there". Tisk. I had another friend that only invited 25. I liked her wedding. It was really nice, but not my style either. Anyway, when I get married, there will be no inviting random relatives, friends, church members, nada. I can see bumping heads with my mom about the guest list.

Oh yeah, my mom only knows how to play Spider Solitare on the computer. So no FB for her. I have friends parents, kids et all sending me friend requests. NO!

Liz Dwyer said...

Facebook split personality on their little messages! Ha!

And why does everybody and their mama think they need to come to someone's wedding? That's how I ended up with 200+ people at mine. My parents had a guest list of people they wanted there and even though I knew them, did they really need to be there? Nooo.

Momisodes said...

LOL! Ditto to it all. I have a horrible confession about FB. Dadisodes added me as his spouse on FB, and I got the email, "Dadisodes said on FB that you two are married."

I froze.

And then proceeded to decline it.

Yup, I declined my husband. Mainly because there are so many people on FB that I don't know IRL who will then know who he is and his last name, etc etc.

I know. I suck.

Liz Dwyer said...

By the way, your post inspired me to tell my husband that I will under NO circumstances get married to him on Facebook. ;)

Miss Snarky Pants said...

Hell I barely keep in touch with "CLOSE" family so the chances of me inviting someone to MY wedding (whose ONLY seen me here and there *throughout my childhood*) is LIKE slimmer than none.

My thought: Old girl needs a hobby and she should rule out Facebook STAT!!!

Rashan Jamal said...

LOL - I didnt think it would be a big deal. I asked you about first. I'm sure everybody on FB already knew.

Yeah, peripheral lady can't get invited to the wedding.. (You know whenever you get married and whoever you get married to. LOL)

La said...

LMFAO! I think at a wedding you should have the people you consider your "village"; the people who will support your marriage, love you both, give you guidance if you ask for it, protect your union. Not your co-worker that you feel like you should invite because she has been staring over the cubicle wall at your wedding preparations. All that inviting people just to invite them is for the birds.

Not So Anonymous said...

I'm with you all the way. No need for her to be there just to see the show. She can stop by your mom's house and watch the video, lol.

Unless the man I marry wants a wedding, I'm so cool with a quick courtroom hitch and 3 week honeymoon vacay!

Jameil said...

Nerd girl: EXCELLENT rule of thumb! I think if you haven't seen me since I was 4ft tall, you also don't come. & first & last is a must! Oddly I've felt some sort of way about not being able to bring a guest, so I want my friends to bring their S.O.s if they'd like. No single discrimination here! My mom is def. okay with me as a fb friend but at first I was wholeheartedly against it.

Ginae... I would probably sit the 100y.o. lady in the corner somewhere and keep it moving. Lol. But do you. There are others of my mother's friends who are in the "you see nothing" category b/c i know that's where they belong. don't encourage him.

mau... he knows he's old! lolol. what do you mean by my mileage? i used to want a huge wedding but the older i get, the more i want it to be me and 100 (max) people i really like rather than everyone i've ever met.

lady... the courthouse is so anathema to me! i can't wear a dress w/a dramatic train & veil! i can't imagine such an idea flowing through my head! courthouse is beyond out for me (if you can't tell... lol). allergic to computers my mom certainly is not!

sha... lol. i'm mad you haven't added the hubs yet! hilarity! you can just say "married" without linking to him. mine links!! EXACTLY. weddings are EXPENSIVE!! & i want to have amazing food & drink. That means I'ma need you (cousin I met once) to fall back on thinking you're coming to my wedding... b/c you're not invited. Tell me honestly you know my name. I'm the 3rd youngest out of more than 25 on my dad's side so I know for a fact most of the oldest ones don't know my name & wouldn't recognize me on the street-- and vice versa.

minerva... it's a must! ME TOO! 1k? wow... I can't even imagine. But likewise I can't imagine 25. That wouldn't even cover the family I AM inviting! Lol. & I have crews of friends I'm very close to. My mom is very laid back so I don't forsee any guest list issues. Friends kids sending requests???? YEAH RIGHT!! My sister's friends get ignored.

Jameil said...

Oops. I'd been typing so long I forgot I hadn't answered all of these. I would've answered earlier if I'd known there'd be such feedback!

liz... lol. & you are SUCH the small wedding type in my mind-- not high maintenance at all. lol @ refusing to fb marry your hubby! too funny. my impression of his views on your interweb activities is that he's quite alright w/that!

momisodes... LOL!! that confession is hilarious! and understandable! you are excused!

ms... lol @ slimmer than none. she def. needs a hobby. & i don't want to be it. my mom was like, she could make your dress! i was like... or not... b/c then she'd want to come & i find her cloying & clingy. it makes me uncomfortable. i feel like on my wedding day she'd be trying to hold long convos about where i've been all this time.

rj... i know! lol. behave.

la... exactly. the crazies have to go to the left, to the left.

nsa... exactly. i don't know if i want a video... odd, huh? I'm just trying to think of who would be in charge of the camera b/c the people I trust w/a camera are those I know best and would want to be there enjoying my day rather than working. no to the courthouse but a 3-week honeymoon sounds AWESOME!!! WOW!! I know less than a week is out. I wouldn't mind 2 weeks for the honeymoon! Even if a week or less is us being back at our new home chillin.

Anitra* said...

You are definitely in a relationship and you definitely with Rashan and I know that much - LOL. Facebook is the devil. I remember when I changed my status to single, I had a million messages in my inbox saying - "Oh wow - are you hurt" or "I thought you guys were going to be together for forever." Yes Dipstick I am hurt and I thought so too!!!

Facebook just exagerates things. A simple dance in teh club could turn into "I saw you ALL up on her." Or a Poke to say hey to some random could turn into "I don't know why this stalker keeps poking me" - LOL! But you know that you have a strong relationship and you didn't need facebook to confirm it but still what a wonderful man and gesture to want to tell the world that he's in a relationship with YOU!