Off Days

Y'all know how I always forget it's a holiday until I go to the gym? And I think people should work out IN THEIR USUAL SCHEDULE on holidays so as not to make my life at the gym miserable? Today I was more forgiving. It was an odd feeling. Kind of like waking up to find someone else's tongue in your mouth. And it's not that you're being kissed. It's that your tongue is gone and there's a replacement one and it feels funny. (I really just tried to erase that whole thought process but my brain refused to participate. It was like, "THAT'S NOT WHAT WE SAID WRITE!! GO BACK AND FIX IT!!" So blame the brain.)

I was prepared to see some hot guys or something. I saw some cuties kind of but no one I had to get to know a little better! Lol. Plus I seem to have that "don't make eye contact" thing now ingrained in me because I've been doing it for so long. Wait. I saw this GORGEOUS old dude at least 6 months ago and I could NOT stop staring at him. For like 45 minutes I was all up in his grill. He was at least 45 with gorgeous locs. I have no desire to date a man that old but I'll be real excited when my hubby hits that age. I'll be like, "OMG you're so hawt!! You old, fabulous 1/2 Mexican chef, you." (See how I've had to settle for a 1/2 Mexican chef because y'all won't give me a whole one?)

Guess who's preggers? WYNEL!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!! I've known for like 3 months but have been going CRAZY not saying anything until I made sure she was okay with me telling. She's due on Halloween. We talked for an hour today. You know how we are with that phone. We get on and it's like pulling teeth to get off. She was at the beach. NOT FAIR, TAKE ME!!!

So I'm working 6 days next week. To compensate I'll be off on Sunday which means I'll have my first Saturday night off in Pittsburgh in almost 2 years. When I'm off on Saturday nights that means I'm anywhere but here! Lol. I don't even know what to do with myself! Lol. So we'll see. At this point it's up in the air. There was some other day off I was supposed to write about oh yeah all of y'all and your Memorial Day. I just want to know who's bringing the burger to my house because I smell grillin!

There was also this hilarious cougar sketch on SNL that's not up on the website yet. I thought of Rah's post and was CRACKIN UP the whole time waitin for them to talk about sabre tooth tigers! HAHAHAHA!! Growl! *swats*


Jazzy said...

OK...I am CRACKING up at the someone else's tongue in your mouth reference. LMAO!!! going back to read.

Jazzy said...

lmao@ growl "swats". You're a nut!

I've given up on seeing hot guys at the gym...all I see is girly pretty boyish looking men who kiss their arms and make faces in the mirror as they do reps. sad.

Congrats to Wynel...good luck with that half mexican chef!! Send me his older and more handsome brother!

Sparkling Red said...

OK, well, someone else's tongue... I'm working on that one. Maybe like when the dentist gives you Novocaine and you can't talk right until it wears off?

I used to leave the chiropractor feeling like I'd put on someone else's bones to wear home.

Southerner in Suomi said...

Yaay for babies!! I remember when you put up all her wedding pics.

I kinda gagged on the tongue thing.

Open Grove Claudia said...

I know exactly what you mean about the gym on holidays or even the entire month of January. This year, I started working out at home and just haven't gone back. lol!

What will you do on your first Saturday night in Pittsburgh? Dance?

Rashan Jamal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rashan Jamal said...

lol @ the tongue transplant.

Half Mexican/Half Dread.. I'm laughing at George Lopez with locs.

A Saturday night off? Don't waste it. Better do up the town.

They refused to pay me royalties, so I wouldn't let them use my sabre tooth premise. LOL

Liz Dwyer said...

"Kind of like waking up to find someone else's tongue in your mouth. LOL! That is some imagery right there!

That cougar sketch was HILARIOUS -- although I have to say I kept wondering how Demi Moore felt about Ashton doing it. Cameron Diaz was really good in it though.

Next Saturday though, you will not be at the crib watching SNL! You will be out on the town! YEAH!

magnoliapeach said...

Ummm, okay, at the tongue reference, lol!

I never see hot guys at the gym and if I do they are always wifed up, maybe I'm going to the wrong one?!

1/2 mexican with dreads, ummmm, if you like it, I love it!

Desy said...

a tongue transplant...rofl..

congrats to wynel!!!

no gym cuties does not surprise me...

hope memorial was all you wanted and more...

1969 said...

Congrats Wynel.

Your chef doesn't have to be 1/2mexican to be able to cook Mexican Food.

He can be anything!!!

p_nami said...

You know you're crazy right?! LMAO

A Saturday off?! Oh yeah! Sounds like a night of libations

La said...

"Kind of like waking up to find someone else's tongue in your mouth. And it's not that you're being kissed. It's that your tongue is gone and there's a replacement one and it feels funny"

Grossest analogy ever, lol

I feel that way when I have to go on Saturday afternoons instead of early morning. Where do all these people come from? Why are they on my fav machines? And why are they staring at me. Boo. This is my gym time, lol

That SNL sketch was HILARIOUS.

Jameil said...

diva... lol. i was giggling too! lmao @ kissing the arms. they can't help themselves! lololol. I GET THE BEST LOOKING ONE!! lol. as long as he's not dumb. you can have the dumb one. ain't i sweet?

red... lol. yeah! except it was a tongue transplant. not someone else's bones! ow!!

v... lol.

claud... i still pay for it but i'm feeling drawn away from the place very much. i will probably end up sleeping but i hope not! i'm trying very hard to do something else! lol.

rj... ok no GL w/locs. i said nothing about that 1/2ie combo. that's ugly. do up the town? says the man who's never doing anything on fri/sat nights. really royalties? drugs you're on i'm convinced.

liz.. i was so out there w/the images yesterday! i kept thinking for someone who doesn't admit to being latina, she's workin that part. and are latinas pissed that that's how she chooses to use it? but it was amusing. it'll be a rerun anyway! I NEED SOMETHING TO DO!!

mp... i don't see them when i go but when i'm there at an odd time i'm always like WHOA! WHO ARE YOU!?! when did i say 1/2 mex w/dreds? you and rah.

desy... i worked... boring. no cookouts... boring. just another day.

1969... i know he doesn't but i like saying i'm lookin for a mexican chef. it amuses me.

doll... yes! and maybe... *coy... coquettish*

la... thanks! lol. i'm always tryin to kick folk out the gym!!!

Adei von K said...

that tongue comment was toooooo much! lolol
has that happened to you before, jameil?? i mean, the explanation was so crystal clear that it made me wonder...

yay wynel!! that is so precious!!!! that baby is going to be soooooooo beautiful!!!!
i'm mad the due date is halloween though. out of allllllllll the dates on the calendar, all hallow's eve! lol!

Jameil said...

stace... lol. good writers can be crystal clear! so :P

you know she's not happy abt that date. she'll be fine! lol. can't wait to see that baby!