Yeah... about that....

I was supposed to go out last night. Hines Ward was hosting some charity event at this club called Privilege (formerly Prive') in the Strip District. I called one of the work homies on Monday to see if she wanted to go with me. Of course she said yes. She's always down for whatever. I planned my day around it yesterday. I took a nap early. It was Daddy-Daughter Day and Father's Day week so I told Dad I'd take him to Jerome Bettis's new restaurant, Bettis Grille 36. BUT I forgot it was Pirates' game day and the restaurant is on the North Shore, right next to Heinz Field. Which is right across the street from PNC Park where the Pirates play. AND it just opened last week. Which means... it was PACKED.

Next. So we decide to head up 28 to Pittsburgh Mills. For some reason, my dad is obsessed with Smokey Bones, so we go there. May I say I'm quite impressed with how I'm learning to get around this city? Don't ask me to use any side streets unless they're through Oakland, but if I need to get to a highway, I'm good!!! Wheeeee! The further we go up 28, the closer we get to Oakmont Country Club where the U.S. Open is this year. Pittsburgh Mills is CRAWLING with golf fans. Ladies... your attire is beyond unattractive. Shorts OVER the belly button with a belt is so beyond not sexy it pains me to try to tell you this.

Dad and I head back to the crib after eating. I am getting sleeeeeepy. Uh oh. I don't hear from the work homie and I don't call. I turn out the light to lay down and say, "If she calls, I'll get up... maybe" except it's already 11 and clubs clearly close at 2. I'm such a loser!!

So! Be ye not disappointed. Since I did not go out, I will tell you about my best date ever.

We'll call the guy Jeff. We met at the club I now hate in Charlotte called Menage. For a short time it was the jump off for young black professionals. You know those people you'd be hard-pressed to throw a rock and hit in Pittsburgh. Ahem. Unnecessary. I see a guy I went to Hampton with who was always sooo nice to me. Jeff was with him. He was nice and funny so I gave him my number. He called... and I found out he was 30. I was 22. Yikes. You are elderly! My mom has always told me not to date anyone more than 5 years older than you because it's a generation (my dad is 9 years older than her). But my friend Tasha's parents are 9 years apart (same ages as my parents) and they get along great. Just depends on the people.

Whatever. I was just looking for a good time. We kind of tip toe around the age thing and decide to just go out. It turns out we have a mutual friend who was teaching in Japan. K was in town for a week or so, so everyone was meeting at this wing place in University (near UNC-Charlotte, clever name for the area right?). We meet there and there are a few more Hampton people there. We hang out for a while, but he's like ok this is not what I consider a date. Do you want to go out on Friday? I say sure. So he says think about where you want to go and we'll do that.

Friday night I drove to his place. He opened the door and looked appreciatively at my outfit. Score. Sorry guys, I have no clue what I was wearing, but trust it was fantastic. We headed to his car. He opened the door for me and we started the trek downtown. I'd been wanting to try Blue since I'd heard they had good live jazz. So we went there for drinks. I had a delicious cosmopolitan. I had also heard another Hamptonian ranting and raving over Fuel Pizza. It was right down the street, so I said why not? We went there to eat, grab a beer and it was delicious too. Score!

The night was still young, so he said, what now? Whenever I was bored in Charlotte back then, I would say, let's see what's going on in Bar Charlotte. So funny because all of the Bars are the same. Bar Norfolk, Bar Baltimore. Same and same. Wasn't my first choice for a night out then and definitely is NOT on the list now. But we went there and actually had a good time. I had another beer or two and showed off. I'm a great time at the club because I never stop dancing and I put on a show. It was great.

Then we went back to his place and watched a movie while I finished sobering up. Then he walked me to my car and I went home. Best date ever. So whatever happened to Jeff? Remember that male biological clock I was supposed to be writing about? His nearly exploded. He turned 31 in the month or two we were dating. He asked me if I could see myself getting married in the next year. WHAT??!?!? We've known each other like a week!! He's like "I have to think about these things. I'm gettin older and I want to be able to play basketball with my kids." Hey guy. It is really not my fault you didn't want to think about marriage until you hit 30. Don't try to rush me into making a decision about you and my future after a few weeks. His mom told him he needed to stop dating me because we were at different points in our lives. He took her advice and there it is. A month or two after that, I moved to Pittsburgh.

It's been 2 years. I wonder if he's married? Oh well! Next!


Sha Boogie said...

HAHA! That was hilarious...Gosh, no one more than five years older..I missed out on that memo! There is a 8 year difference between me and Hef, but we get along swell since he thinks he's peter pan!

BK said...

ROTFLMAO ahahahaaaaa now there is nothing wrong with differences in age :) 8 is the magic number LOL

Ummm smokey bones is da ish!!! especially that cornbread skillet.. WHEW!

the joy said...

I fell asleep before clubbing the other night. I never did go out. We're old.

Anonymous said...

I've done the generation gap thing before both ways. When I was the younger one, it never bothered me. When I was the older one, it irked the crap out of me. Weird.

blkbutterfly said...

lol @ "You are elderly!"

hmmm... i hadn't heard the 5 years older rule. at this point in my life, i can agree w/ that. then again, let me hit 30 and my feelings might change...

GreatWhyte said...

Not so amused by the 30 and elderly thing... you have really been hitting us hard lately. But 8 is definitely the magic number. I'm clearly a fan of the age gap... the ex-fiance was 12 years older, the last *ahem* relationship was 6 years younger, and the boonopolis is 8 years older. And it's funny that Jeff was feeling that whole get married and have babies thing. Just last week I got the speech about how he needs a son soon because otherwise he'll be too old to play football with him. WHA????

GreatWhyte said...

Ok Jamlicious (it's MAD late- go with it!). Let's commence with your interview.
1. What would have to happen for you to go back to Kyle?
2. You're dying. Do you plan your own funeral?
3. When you look in the mirror, who do you see?
4. You have a secret. You're in a serious relationship. You know that the probability of the secret ending your relationship is high. But you feel very guilty. What do you do?
5. Do you question God?

CNEL said...

That was funny. Uh male biological clock, the need to be a basketball playing, football playing,track running parent. I do know people who have that rational ummm whatev.As a childcare provider I do think people need to pay attention to how their body will hold up, but more importantly their temperament. But at the same time in my humble opinion, thirty is nowhere near a cut off date especially for a man.

Anonymous said...


Any cat who will let our lil Ms Fabulous over there sleep off a buzz in his house without puttin any moves on her got more than just his physical body holding up motivating his clock.

Dude is trying to be an honest man...Hes tired of breakin off chicks without a ring.

My clock went off at 25 so by 30 his is going crazy.

That said..good call, Jameil.

lemme find out even GOLF fans in Pittsburgh are ugly...thats just sad.

I dont care how nice Oakmont is, Pittsburgh doesnt deserve the US Open.

Organized Noise said...

Having just turned 29, I can relate to the male biological clock. Mine is definitely starting to tick and tick loudly.

Jameil said...

sha... peter pan? does he believe in pixies? i love that movie.

diva... 8 huh? well after this dude i'm def. trying to steer clear of the old dudes. my bro. says there is something wrong w/a dude that old who can't get chicks his age. cornbread skillet sounds a bit gross to me.

joy... speak for yourself!! lol

funky one... both ways? wow! that's adventurous. i kind of ignore age sometimes if the dude is mature. i've never dated anyone more than a few months younger, but i've considered it.

butterfly... yeah, the older you are the less difference it makes. right now i want a guy who won't be 40 having his first kid.

x... lol. i call myself elderly, too. don't worry. 12 years older!! daaaaaaaamn! that's a bit much for me. and 6 years younger too? you are muy adventurous. kudos to you. those questions are a beast. well #1 anyway.

cnel... 30 isn't a cutoff but you need to start thinking about it before that. just b/c men can have children into their 40s and 50s and beyond doesn't mean they should. its selfish to have a kid at 50+. they will barely get to know you.

dp... man i love your comments. he wouldn't have been breaking off this chick anyway, buzz or no buzz. he was out of control. i'm sending up a prayer right now that i don't get to that point. lmao@ the open comment. why not?

noisy... see? and people always put it on the women. men get em too.

Sherlon Christie said...

I think you already saw "my clock is ticking entry" but that was funny.

Fuel Pizza is the joint.

dreamyj said...

haha, dating older men tends to be a little harder. i've had some good and bad, well mostly bad, experiences with that but i prefer and older man to a younger one any day. i like the within 5 years thing though, i try to stick with that.