Pt II: No Pictures Please

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the post you've been waiting for your whole life. Ok maybe not your whole life, but for a while. Day two of my trip to Connecticut started wonderfully. Me and Kyle just chilled out watching tv. Then we went to the mall. Can I tell you I have not been to a wonderful mall since I left Charlotte? Can I say that? I'm not saying there are no worthy malls in Pittsburgh, but maybe there aren't.

Nordstrom!!! The closest Nordstrom is about 2 hours away. Quoi???! I know Charlotte just got it maybe 2 years ago, but I soooo cannot live without that store anymore. One of the world's best shoe collections. Even though Kyle swears everything in that store costs $20 more for no reason. I just know that I love it!! I saw Nordstrom and almost had a coronary!! And he wouldn't let me go!!! What is that about??? Haters!!! Lol. I can already hear him complaining about this. But I'm sayin!! Come on!! I miss that store so much!! And shopping there with mommy dearest *insert scary killer music.* lol. She always lets me play stylist. My dad used to tell us to call her that before we knew what it represented. So diabolical, that d. Lol. I buy a black short-waisted cardigan to go over my gorrrrrrgeous dress for the play, and an adorable navy skirt from Forever 21 (which by the way is in Pittsburgh). So he hurries me out of the mall. We go to Best Buy (its the release day for Weezy F Baby lol I think its hilarious that he calls themself that) so we grab that and I also get Boyz II Men Christmas. Claaaaaaasic!! Yes! We pop in the Weezy and the quote of the day quickly becomes, "Excuse me Mr. Toilet cuz I'm the shit." Lololol. Who says that??? Lil Wayne right? Funny man. So we head back to the house and I'm praying for it not to snow because that would seriously not go with my outfit.

We walk in and two of our fellow Color Purple attendees are already there (one of them is his roommate). The other, has on jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt!!! Yes people!! To Broadway and this is what he's wearing! Come on! So Kyle and I get dressed. Too fly. Excuse me. Mr. Toilet cuz WE'RE the shit. Can I tell you how fly we were? Chile. Ok so I had on a knee-length strapless black dress. The bodice had lace overlay, the skirt had a tulle overlay with nude satin underneath, tied with a black satin ribbon. I had 3 inch pointy-toe black satin pumps from Nine West. Kyle had on a 3-piece pin-striped suit, a black/white shirt with CUFFLINKS (I love cufflinks! EVERY man should own a pair!!) , and a black and white tie. Nice. It was me and Kyle with a side of t-shirt. Ugh. Lol.

So me, Kyle, the roommate we'll call D, Big Game, and tee-man K all ride out toward NYC. As soon as we hit the West Side Highway and I can see the city its like love at first sight. My mom hates New York (too crowded) and I'd never been, so I just assumed I wouldn't like it either. Wrong. Clearly I love crowds. I don't necessarily always like standing out. Shocking, I know. Something most of you most likely didn't know about me no matter how well you know me. So what. Lol. So as cliche' as it is, I love New York!!!! Fab. U. Lous. For no reason. We get to the city with about an hour to spare before the show and look around, plan what we will do afterwards.

Then we see the magnificent Broadway marquee.... The Color Purple. *insert choir of angels music* I'm so excited that we have a Broadway show. You know us Black people. With an all Black cast. How ridiculously hot is that? How? I head into the theatre with the phrase "mixed reviews" in my head, but determined to look at the show with a clear mind. I'm well-known as a critic amongst my friends. I do not mince words if I think a movie/song/album/show was not worth my time. We check our coats and grab our FLOOR seats. Ten minutes later who walks down the aisle but the queen herself. That's right, Queen Latifah! She's so cool. But her hair, was not. Ponytail bun. Queen. Come on. We black people here. You know we don't go out the house like that to a Broadway play. (Except K but he don't count. He told Big Game, "I'm sorry I'm not high class like you. Obviously if I was I would've known the dress code!" Umm... boo. You have NY connex. You know your way around the city. But you don't know that you don't go to a Broadway play in a t-shirt? Come on now.)

So anyway. There are maaaaaaaad white people there. Probably 60-40 Black/white. Not really surprising, but I was glad to see *we* came out from all walks of life. And I heard one lady say this was already her 2nd time coming. You go girl! So anyway a group of white people is sitting behind us. One guy starts talking about King Jaffre Joffer. And one of his cohorts says, who is that? He says (incredulously), "He's from Coming to America!" Me and Kyle look at each other like, word?? Lolol. Wow. We see why you're here. Then he says, "These seats are soooo small! I could get pregnant from these seats." Umm.. TMI maybe? Just a little. Lol. They were small but I might not need to know that about you! Lololol.

The show begins and I have chills for the entire first scene. I'm not kidding. This play is phenomenal. I think the main thing that you need to remember is that it is a play. Like the movie, it is BASED on the book, but not obligated to follow it to the letter. I thought the director, producers, orchestra, actors, costume and set designers all came together to make this an exceptional show. I recommend it to anyone, but it is an absolute must-see for Black people. The movie is a must see if you are Black. If you see no other Broadway plays in your life, you need to see "The Color Purple" and "A Raisin in the Sun." I have no qualms about saying that. We need to see ourselves on stage. The most interesting thing for me about the play was the flirting with burlesque. It was very interesting. The Shug Avery song was huh-larious!! And the church women, so typical. Very well done. Go see it today. There was a British man sitting next to Kyle who proceeded to give his dissertation of it. The show got a standing ovation and I saw many a wet eye.

After the show we head through Times Square (I'm in awe people, I LOVE it!!) and this lady stops me. She says, "Hi... I'm sorry to bother you but can you sign my play bill?" I'm standing there blinking. She says, "I know its cold." I was like, "Why?" She said, "Oh. Never mind then." And looks at me like this black bitch. I'm like, Lord have mercy. I say, "I wasn't in the play." She says, "Oh! I'm sorry. We saw you come out. And you look so much like her. You have the same round face." What?!! Everyone I was with falls out laughing. They were like you should've signed it. Ok... signed it what?? I didn't know who I was supposed to be!! Lolol. So for the rest of the night, I'm LaChanze (Celie) and Kyle starts yelling, "No Pictures Please!" everywhere we go. Negroes. He's like, "She followed you for 3 blocks!" Lololol.

Then we go to ESPN Zone. The Ok let me tell you something about the people that attended the show with me. Everyone but me works at ESPN. Lololol!! Come on! Y'all ALL work at ESPN and you want to go to ESPN Zone? Of course they're like, but I don't have to work here. Blah blah blah. Whatever. Its still comical. Have you been to ESPN Zone before? I tried to get my friends to go to the one in B-more w/me but none of them are sports fans so they were all like, ummm.. no. I was so diappointed. So I lost my ESPN Zone virginity in "old New York, New York, Neeew Yoooooooork." It was a sports fans dream!!!! TVs everywhere w/every game currently on television and your own personal table tv. But who wants to watch a personal TV when you have 2 huge flat screens in front of you??? Not me. Then Classy Jojo arrives-- one of my HU friends!!! I loooooooove Classy JoJo!!! I wanted to get her drunk and see Trashy Hoho!! That's my nigga too! She's hilarious! Then we go to the bar "Bourbon Street" and have a couple of beers and show the white people how to dance, including several classic Blue Thunder moves. Oh the hilarity!! Lolol.

My night in New York was fantabulous, the company was great and the show was a success. I can't wait to go back! Now was that so hard? Clearly I could've done this a long time ago. Lolol. Stop being ungrateful. There it is. Any questions?


T Dot said...

I'm mad ya'll got to go to the Color Purple. That's so great! Even more upset about old dude's attire, though. Seriously upset. Side of t-shirt = pure comedy. It sounds like ya'll had a wonderful time. And you shoulda signed that autograph - bask in that spotlight, girl!

Chris said...

I got a question..what the hell happened to the last two security guards? Nah seriously, looks like fun was had by all, which is a good look. Must be nice to have a social life.

Aisha T. said...

Wait, what? And you didn't call me? LOL. I haven't seen the Color Purple yet but, everyone I know that has seen it, loves it. Your outfit sounds lovely! I'm so glad you loved the city (I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT HERE!) It is usually crowded in Times Square but, during the holidays, it is insane!

Unknown said...

thanks for visiting my page! I'm sure I came off like a old-fashined dad.

And that would be me.

Come back and visit sometime!

I'm not a big fan of NYC. I like it QUIET!

Karamale said...

trashy hoho!

diabolical, that d.

you crazy, gul.

Anonymous said...

Glad you had fun, but I'm still stuck on Jaffre Joffer, I'm mad it seems like they were having a conversation about "Coming to America" while waiting to see "The Color Purple" their mindsets could have been deeper than that....Yeah and you shoulda signed the autographs and have just written fast and loopy.

Jameil said...

talia and christopher... i might have except i didn't know who i was!!! i'm sayin! come on! i sign it black girl??? the fly one??? it wasn't until she said i had the same face that the lightbulb went off. lol.

erin... i ain't scurred! you may be from the D, but i'm from the CLT son!! ok i'm kidding. clearly i grew up in the burbs. lol. but i ain't scared!

arun... you cracked me up. tres hilarious.

supposedly big j... you know what. get out!! lol. jerk. its my blog and i'll post how i want to!!! so there!!! lolol. and... maybe you could try posting more than 2xs a month. ooooooooooh!!

christopher... i looked at kyle like, are you hearing this?? i'm sayin! now you know some people don't have open minds. whatever c'est la vie. they left lovin the play so that's all that matters.