Do I have to?

Be your token negro? Because sometimes it really pisses me off. There is one girl that outside of this I generally like. She makes me laugh and I'm around her a lot. But everytime someone comes on tv w/diamond earrings, she has to say something to me about their "bling." Are you serious? Really? What am I supposed to say to that? I don't understand. I really don't care. And then there's this other older white man that I'm around a lot and who's opinion I really value in life and especially in work-related things. HOWEVER, I do NOT care for your opinion on earrings. Nearly daily, he feels the need to expound on his dislike for men wearing two earrings. First, they're not wearing them for you. Second, if they were why would you care? Third, I wouldn't expect an older white man to understand it. Fourth, is it necessary that I co-sign on your beliefs on the subject for them to be valid? Because it really annoys me when you expect me to.

Well here it is. I DON'T CARE!!! I was born Black in 1982. Nearly my whole life (if not the entire thing), I have seen men with earrings. That is not a big deal to me. I really don't care one way or the other. If he has earrings, so what. If he doesn't have earrings, SO WHAT?!! One, two. I really don't care. Now any other piercings I really can't get with. Tongue rings? So cliche' and you know what Chris Rock says about men with tongue rings. Lololol. And 3-6 Mafia, too. Lololol. Eyebrow piercings? No way. That is so not sexy. Cartilage piercings? Very borderline. Hoops? Also borderline. Giant Cam'ron-esque monstrosities? Tres wack. If I wouldn't wear them, you certainly shouldn't.

By the way, I also can't stand how there were mad dudes that wouldn't have been caught dead in pink 3 years ago, but Cam'ron wears it and all of a sudden men can buy pink tennis shoes? Word? I think that's bullshit. I can love a man in pink. But he's got to do it on his own. And I want pink dress clothes. Like a shirt and tie w/pink accents. Ooh. Sexy. Not a pink fitted and jersey w/the matching sneaks. That looks ridiculous and contrived. And there is nothing sexy about a follower who tries too hard. Nothing.

I want to give BIG ups to "the Philly clique" as we used to call them at Hampton. They were wearing pastels at least as far back as 2000, not caring what anyone thought. I must admit I thought they were strange. I mean I'm from the South, raging homophobe capital of the world. There are so many things dudes at home wouldn't have been caught dead in. Even more strange were the DC boys w/their puffy paint shirts and Warner Bros. para and glitter. *shudder* I still can't get with that. No way. But the pastels? Oh yeah. I applaud the Philly clique for not caring what anyone thought and lookin fly while doin it.

OOH!! While we're talking about men's fashion (which I LOVE, can you tell?), let me tell you my BIGGEST pet peeve. White Tees!! This is the laziest "fashion" statement I have ever seen in my life. I thought jerseys were lazy. I really did. I thought that was as lazy as lazy could get. I'm going to let my favorite character from "Overheard at the Mecca" take over here.

Collegiate Thug 1: Yo son, I don't got nothing to wear.
Collegiate Thug 2: I'm sayin' why 'ont you pull out dat fitted. Rock it wit dat.
CT 1: Yeah! Aight. I'll be ready to go as soon as I get done with my sociology dissertation on the how the rights of women in the workplace are being misconstrued in a transgendered society.
CT 2: Aight b. I got a couple books on that at the crib you could use in your Works Cited. Get at me if you need it.
CT 1: That's what's up, dog! Good looks. One.

Was that right overheard ladies? Lol. The point is... you look ridiculous in your matching clothes. That is so 2003. Lolol. I admit it. I used to think there was nothing flyer than a dude w/a Celtics outfit on. There was something about a man in green and gold. No more people. Time to grow up. For real. And the white tees. Word? A week of outfits cost you $10. But don't let a girl be that lazy. Oh noooooo! We got to rock the "stilleto pumps in the club" and on the street daily. AND look like we stepped off the pages of a magazine. There would be mutiny, mutiny I tell you!! If women decided to take even a month long break from dressing and just started wearing oversized white or black tees every single day. Guess what. I ain't goin NOWHERE w/someone who shows up in a plain white or black tee. No where. Go back and try it again. Lololol. For real. Is that so much to ask? If I'm lookin like a model (shut up, a print model. so what if I'm 5'1?), then you need to come correct as well.

Back to the matter at hand. Simple diamond studs? I DON'T CARE!! Matter of fact, I can get with that. And if when you get done w/those 3-carat studs you want to pass them my way, it would be wrong of me to deny you the pleasure of re-gifting.


Aisha T. said...

Well, I always thought if I had a kid, boy or girl, they'd have both their ears pierced as infants. Then again, I also demand that they have my last name. Hey, I went through nine months of strict diet, morning sickness and no drinking just to have my body stretched out, no sleep and breast feeding for the next couple of years the least that can happen is to carry my last name as a legacy of the girl I was. So, I'll probably end up childless without and ear to pierce.

Sorry, got off the subject. I have no problem with guys with pierced ears. Just don't like danglies on them. I prefer small studs or tiny rings.

Unknown said...

Dudes with earrings...uhmmmm call me old fashioned but ...naw.

especially the ones that look like glass doorknobs!

I can't get with it.

Anonymous said...

I like the white tee. During the summer, it fits well at a cook out. Im not going out to a club or something in it but a cookout or something like that. It is fine.

Adei von K said...

The White Tee is lazy as the fcuk. Don't think you're jazzy cause the tee is now black either...little black dress = jazzy. Big black tee = lazy. I love, Love, LOVE a man in pink! A black man in pink is a confident man who is safe and secure in his masculinity. Oooh, a dark pink polo and some jeans...or black pin stripe suit with the powder pink tie! Biggups to the Philly Crew of HU! Loved you guys back then cause yeah I'm from the south but come on! The Miami Dolphin colors are peach/coral and turquoise! Palm Beach's official colors are pink and green. What's really good with guys in colors? Let the black and white go!

Karamale said...

man, you know y'all females go to ross and get a $5 sundress and be lookin' good as hell, so don't front on the $10 week's worth of shirts.

Jameil said...

karamale!! ok! um... no. ross? i don't even know what that is first of all. second, we need to get you somewhere a lil colder than florida or s. america. lol. cleaaaaaaaarly I will not be rockin' nobody's random cheap dress anywhere!!

people! is it so wrong me to ask you to make an effort!! tees take no effort!

thank you stace... even tho you eventually turned on me. c'est la vie i guess.

La said...

LMAO LMAO LOL!! Ok gimme just a sec to catch my breath...

Let's talk about the white tee. See I was born and raised (or for my fellow southerners birthed and reared) in Atlanta, notorious home of the white tee before the song made it popular. Boys at home have been rockin' white tees since the days when gumbys were still in style and I hated them then too. It is one thing to wear a t-shirt... it is another thing to wear a Hanes dress that comes to your shins. Ugh and gross. However, the southern girl in me just loves a man in a fitted. Nothing sexier than a man in a fitter. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE a man in a fitted, especially if it matches his shoes and ESPECIALLY if he has on a wife beater (whose name I don't particularly care for but I love what it does to the arms). I think I might have gotten off subject a bit...

White tee-dress? Wrong. T-shirt? Acceptable in many circumstances. Fitted? Always accepted and even preferred. (At least by me b/c well... despite my Howard upbringing I'm still a lil ghetto.) Big earrings on men? Absolutely not.

And one last thing to ponder... my girl dated this man who was all polos and button downs. He was great. We always complimented him on his wardrobe b/c everywhere she took him he was always so fly. He is now dating my other friend... Anthony. Just something to think about... LOL

Jameil said...

LAWD laurenashleigh!!! no!!! now that is some ish!!! dating anthony. it took a minute for me to get it. i ain't no terry mcmillan, i will not look a gay horse in the mouth and then cry foul! lolol. that was hilarious.