That Virtue...

God bless my PATIENT husband.  Through all of his jerkiness (some of it shocking in its hilarity), he really has a calming spirit. Even when I'm tense and at my nuttiest, I can relax around him. I am notoriously not a morning person.  If I'm up in the early morning hours (see: any time prior to 9am), I always want it to be because I haven't been to bed yet, not because I'm up starting my day.  But no matter how much sleep I've had or how close to my ideal waking hour I am, please don't talk to me in the first hour.  You can feed me.  As a matter of fact, please do!  But please, please keep talking to a minimum.

Here's what I need you to do in the morning.
  1. Please leave or do your thing as quietly as possible. This is to ensure you don't disturb me. I probably need two more hours of rest than you do.  And unless I'm really tired, I am a light sleeper.  
  2. Don't say my name.  No matter how asleep I am, I always hear my name and answer to it.  My friends discovered this in undergrad.  It makes me laugh!  Unless I'm sleeping...
  3. When you hear me stirring (or more likely see me on twitter/fb), begin to prepare or gather my preferred breakfast.  Yes I did.  I rarely stray from the classics when not dining at a restaurant.  For fast food I either want a bacon, egg & cheese or a sausage egg mcmuffin with cheese.  With hash browns.  I don't trust fast food grits.  Even in the south.  If you're going to Chick-fil-a or Bojangles, I want a spicy chicken biscuit.  Again, hash browns.  If you have never had a Chick-fil-a buttery biscuit, fix your life immediately.  At home I want eggs (over medium), grits & bacon or sausage.  I can really have either bacon or sausage depending on the day and/or my mood.  Sometimes I don't care.  Sometimes I want a piece of each.  It's weird to me that some days I can't decide.  I like them both quite equally.  Unless it's turkey bacon.  I like all kinds of sausage (chicken, turkey, pork, veggie) but bacon shall only be pork.  It was written.* Side note: I made cooked (my mom hates when I cook and say make) an egg last night and Rashan was jumping when I flipped the egg in the pan. Sir... please take a seat if you're going to flinch at me using a pan to flip a single egg.
  4. Feed me said breakfast.  Silently.
  5. Check the clock.  If one hour has passed since you heard the stirring or read the tweets, proceed with the day.  But SLOWLY.  You are never sure whether the sleeping bear has fully awakened.
My fave roomie in college was the exact same way.  It plays a huge role in why she was my favorite roommate.  The first thing we need to say when getting ready in the morning is good-bye as we walk out the door.  I truly loved this about her.  It makes me happy all over again reminiscing about it!

On my wedding day, BFF Stace was SOO excited for me!  I was, too.  But I wasn't awake yet.  So I wanted her to calm down and keep it quiet.  I feel like when I first wake up I can hear EVERYTHING. If we've not yet passed the hour mark and I'm chatting and seem almost like myself, it is still not time for loudness. I already hear quite well (everything if you ask my dad!) and have an outrageous sense of smell but when I first wake up?  The slightest sound is magnified.  Do I have a tumor?  Please tell me that doesn't mean I have a tumor. Because I know it's not a hangover.

Fast forward to today and how this all relates back to my patient husband.  He's not quite as stringent on his rules but he does need a little time to fully awaken before he's ready to interact with me.  This is fine except on those days like today when I have been awake for hours.  By the time he's up, I'm ready to have a party!  And I've been waiting for HOURS to talk to him!  He always fights valiantly to participate in these chats before asking me to turn it from 11 to 5.5.  And he's so polite about it.  If I have to ask you to turn down your enthusiasm... tisn't pretty.  So bless him!  LOL

*If you are surprised that the most detailed portion of this post was about food, welcome.  This must be your first time here!  LOLOL Peruse The Record Dish for my food craziness and later today... MY 2011 THANKSGIVING MENU!!!


Not So Anonymous said...

LOL...you're a nut. I feel you, though. I'm starting to realize I need an adjustment period in the morning at night when i'm at my sleepiest, but not quite asleep.

Adei von K said...

OMG, this is too funny! I started tripping out reading abt your wedding day! LET THE PEOPLE KNOW THE LAWNMOWER WOKE US UP!

But this is such an interesting post! My cousin is JUST LIKE THIS! Before he went away to school and when I was in orientation, i'd try and have morning convo and he's shake his head at me, lol! once we got on the train, he told me, "I don't talk in the morning. At all."

Jameil said...

NSA... I can force myself to stay up all night without much problem but that early awakening struggle? it's real.

adei... i told them abt the mower months ago. omg Saman found out the hard way! When we went to a film fest last year, as soon as I woke up, she was talking and I had to let her know, "I don't talk in the morning. Please stop talking." She was so stunned. I think I kind of hurt her feelings. I should've given her a copy of this before going.

Gorgeous_Puddin said...

I'm not a morning person, but I can talk or respond quietly if spoken to. It's more of a problem if I'm asleep and awoken for some foolishness. However, I do want to tell somebody I don't talk in the morning just to see the response! LOL!

The rundown of breakfast preferences was hilarious. I enjoy a good breakfast sandwich myself and I've never had a buttery biscuit from Chik-fil-a. Somehow, I don't think it would be quite the same.

Trish said...

I used to so not be a morning person but I've gotten better over the years. I remember I had a job that I told them not to talk to me for the first hour and my request was obliged. My Dad sings and whistles in the morning. I dated a guy once who sang in the shower when he woke up, talk about annoying. I whine a lot when I'm sleepy, that can be in the morning or at night.

Sparkling Red said...

I'm with you here. I like to be left alone in the mornings to gather my thoughts and do things in my own good time. Don't intrude and for the love of Pete, DON'T RUSH ME. However, I can't stomach protein until at least 11 am. My usual breakfast is oatmeal with raisins or maple syrup, no sugar. I'm sweet enough already.

Anonymous said...

Breakfast is such an important meal, it must be thoroughly discussed. :) I love breakfast food. And thank God for patient husbands.

Jameil said...

gp... I'm more likely to grunt or sigh when spoken to than speak. foolishness? oh that will not end well. go get one of those biscuits ASAPEDLY.

trish... what a fantastic request! sings & whistles!? no indeed. my dad wakes up pretty happy but he does whisper around me b/c he definitely knows the deal. LOLOL

red... EXACTLY! Go away in the morning!! I don't like a lot of sweets in the morning but I do like a cinnamon/sugar oatmeal w/raisins! I might have to try that syrup thing! LOL @ sweet enough already!

random... breakfast foods are THE BEST!!!!

ShaBoogiesince1982 said...

OMG! LMBO!! The hilarity! You are not well woman! LOL

I can't WAIT until there are little Jameil's running around who will laugh and stomp all over these rules! CAN.NOT.WAIT!!!!