DESPITE apple's repeated attempts to steal, stomp on, squelch, muddle, massacre, ruin, or otherwise destroy my joy.

So I got the aforementioned beautiful turquoise ipod. First let's go back. Remember the engraving? It was based on one of my fave quotes from the fabulous Akeelah and the Bee (I know its not from there and Nelson Mandela said it but that's where I first said it (quit hatin)). WAIT! Speaking of hatin. Associated Press. It is NOT ok to use the terms "hating" or "hating on" in two blurbs simply because they're in the Urban section of the wires!!! You must know this!!

Back to Apple's quest to anger the great one. ("I am rock and roll"-- I love this Mos Def song. Disgustingly hot. So sick, so ill, so nasty. LMAO!! Me and Stace always pick on CC for using this language w/the rest of her fellow NYers. Oh the hilarity). So before I could even get my ipod, they sent me three SEPARATE messages to tell me 1) they do in fact have my order and it is currently being placed (yay!), 2) they were sending it, (biiiiiig yay!), 3) they were billing me. (ok already, i get it! could not those last two have been consolidated?)

Then Monday FedEx tried to deliver it at 905am. WHO is at home at 905 in the morning? I mean seriously. Maybe on my off days but normal people work! Come on! So they said I could go pick it up but I thought it was the place down the street, but it was this place up and down multiple hills and around at least 2 "s-curves." NOT COOL! So the bf suggests I just call and request a delivery time. So I say anytime after 1230. The woman lets me know it's only a suggestion and they'll do the best they can. I say ok.

The next day as I'm driving down the street SECONDS from pulling into the parking lot, I see the truck pulling out. NOOOOOO! I pull into the parking lot and see my dad's car and I'm like "Ooh! Maybe!" I walk in, and there's a small rectangular box on the table! YAAAYYYYYYY!! I open it and there is a small booklet and it's NOT the instructions. There ARE no instructions! You have to read them online!!!! What kind of bullshit is that?! Some serious bullshit!! They're crazy! Can I have it in front of me so I don't have to log on every SINGLE time I have a question about my product?!!! So not happy. I read instruction booklets for fun. That's how I know stuff about my phone and everything else I own. Becaue I READ!!! Pissed. Esp. b/c I really have no idea what I bought. I mean I know its an ipod nano and it plays music and can hold 1k songs but beyond that I have no clue. I mean what do I look like? I'm a writer and producer, NOT a techie. MADAM!!! What the hell did I buy?!?!?!?

Ok so this is not keeping with the title of this blog b/c this is the next day. So I uploaded all my cds on there. Still wavering back and forth between buying cds to put on the ipod and buying individual songs b/c I'll still need to listen to stuff in the car. So that part's still up in the air. Who knows. I have 308 songs on my ipod at this point. Aren't you excited?! :D Oh yeah! Wait! So it took nearly 2 HOURS to download itunes onto my computer! BIOTCHES!!! The kid was pissed. And I mean pissed. Then once I get it on there I'm hella sleepy so I can barely put 8 cds on there before I'm ready to go to bed.

Last night my dad brought in a case of Yuengling and I actually cheered. It was hilarious. Then he tried to hook my ipod up to our bangin 7 speaker surround sound and subwoofer stereo system and nearly killed it. I was like yeah... uh... enough of that. I also showed my cute little ipod to my coworker who absolutely didn't get the quote. She goes, "That doesn't make sense." Sigh...

Tonight's another Daddy/Daughter night. Last night one of my coworkers who used to be my weekend robotic camera operator called me and I was knocked out. Didn't even hear the phone or remember hearing it anyway. NOW! Let me tell you about AOL. We're gonna fight. Seriously. Do you know it gave me some sort of error message when I tried to sign in, then when I opened my Favorites, with more than 250 sites there, do you know there was NOTHING THERE?!!! I'm done. I'm real angry right now. I'm going to Bally's to sign up. If this isn't fixed by the time I come back me and AOL are going to have a hollering fight. And I mean HOLLERING!!!


Madam DLBG said...

OH MY GAWD...u got me dyin' over here!!! Got tears running down my face! First Fedex and then Apple plays the piss outta u!!!

By the way, if you wanna download a peer 2 peer filesharing program (all the music is free and LEGAL), let me know. Some people like limewire, but I hear it going through some things. With the P2P I use you can download individual songs so that you're not out buying CDS or paying a dollar a song...that can get pricey. Also, it's better because you don't have to add entire CDs to the ipod and have to listen to songs you don't really like and can't erase unless you reset your ENTIRE Ipod harddrive...which sucks. Let me know.

LOL..so mad Itunes played the piss outta u too!!!

**falls out of computer chair in a fit of giggles**

Sorry, I'm not laughing at you :-( just teh situation :-)

the joy said...

that's rough for reals. yeah fedex needs to figure out life. i hate that. my phone came by fedex. took a week.

speaking of, you should get and auxilliary cord for the car. we have one that hooks up to my phone. i can listen to my mp3 player that way.

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

iTunes is evil. Moreso if your not on a Mac.

why not just get deliveries @ your work?

Anonymous said...

AND THIS...is why I shall never own an Ipod....effin itunes is for the birds.

It does not pay to disturb the queen.

Southern Girl said...

I was looking for instructions to my ipod last night, until like 12am...then i realize they never fell out of the box...they are on the effing CD...pissed about it!

Also sux that my 15 year old step-brother is helping me with itunes bc it is so damn difficult. Not cool!

AND....boo FedEx! They really need to get it together!

Jameil said...

EVERYTHING IS BACK TO NORMAL!! I NO LONGER HAVE TO KILL AOL!!! YAY!!!!! (now back to your regularly scheduled programming)

Jameil said...

madam... glad i can amuse you!!! HMPH!!! def. wanna try the filesharing thing. sounds good.

joy... yes! that's the other thing i wanted to buy and forgot. i was so focused on working out i couldn't get my life together and figure it out. so i just got the arm band.

ace... i run around too much for that. i'm never in one place and would hate to be paged. plus i don't work normal hours so they'd come at some odd time and i wouldn't be there, etc. etc. basically no thanks.

dp... yeah well i recall asking for people to tell me a good mp3 player to buy a little while ago (other than ipod) and you were one of the many (SEE EVERYONE) who was silent so THAT IS MORE THAN ENOUGH OUT OF YOU ON THE SUBJECT!!!!

southern... huh uh see? but i wish i had a 15 yo anything to show me. you know the children are so technologically advanced. don't they need to fix itunes tho so its more user friendly? that shit is more confusing than a little bit.

Anonymous said...

You have me laughing too hard, especially because I am in the library now.

Is it snowing down there?? It is snowing hard as shit here.

Madam DLBG said...

Actually, itunes is user friendly on a PC once you find ur way around. You just got ease ur way into it.

The P2P I use is "Ares" (http://aresgalaxy.sourceforge.net/). Just go to the site, click "download" on the top left menu.

On the next screen, find the US location closet to you and hit "download". A popup window should appear. Choose "save as" and the file window will open. Save the file to your DESKTOP.

Once the file is saved on your desktop, find it and DOUBLE click it. A "run/execution" program should open. From there all you have to do is follow the instructions.

Once the program is installed on your computer, let me know because there is more you may want to do just to have easier access to all the song files you download :-)

Adei von K said...

"DAMMIT I'M HAPPY!" ?? Word life son? is you wilin son? you sizzlin kid. tell em why you mad B.

Dreamlover said...

All I can say is AOL sucks!

And you have to go though all that with the Ipod? dang, I can wait!! hehe

Jameil said...

epsi... we've only had flurries so far. the winter outlook is mild! i'm keeping my fingers crossed!!

madam... whee!!!! and this doesn't put you at risk of hackers and viruses?

stace... word life kid.

dream... aol sucks hard. yeah i can't wait for someone else to feel my pain w/the ipod! :D

We Go said...

Okay, there must be a FedEx conspiracy because ours is out in the boonies too. Our DHL is even worse. It's in the boonies plus a country mile.

My Ipod Nano came with a nice little book. I think you should call Apple and get them to send you one. I am an instruction manual person too. LOL

I love my Ipod b/c I am the definitely the type to want ONE song off an album and nothing more. Just downloaded some stuff last night as a matter of fact. It works for me and I use it on two PCs and my hubby's Mac with no problems.