The Illustrious Trip Part III: What Everyone REALLY Wants to Know (According to Wise)

Wise says despite the detailed description, i managed to leave out what everyone really wants to know (which i might say is hilarious): How did you feel about the convo about moving closer together?What was the post-visit recap from dear ole Dad?What the hell was this whole diamond tutorial all about? And did you bring him by your job to shut up that loser who was trying to claim you? :)

Let's take it in order. How did I feel about the convo about moving together? I loved it. Despite my confidence in our relationship, everyone needs reassurance we're both interested in the same thing. Human nature. In one of my fave movies, Superstar, Will Ferrell comes to Mary Katherine Gallagher's love interest as God and asks, "Why did I make everyone so insecure?" It was actually quite hilarious. We want to be closer to each other, and are willing to move to make it happen. But it has to be within the bounds of both of our careers. Because neither of us wants the other to sacrifice upward career mobility. We know the other will be around. Not in the sense of taking each other for granted. More in the sense of comfort and stability inherent with the type of relationship we have.

Post-visit recap from dad... It actually had to wait awhile b/c of our conflicting schedules. My dad is wary of him. Mostly b/c he's a man. I said what do you think about him? He said, "Mmm... he seems like an ok young man." What the hell? Really daddy? I had already talked to mommy. So she told me he didn't know what he thought which was hilarious. Then he says, "More importantly, what do you think about him?" I said, "I love him." D, "OOOOOOH! You love him? That's a serious word." "I know." "Well, if you love him, then I guess I better learn to like him." There it is. "Does he always talk like that?" "Like what?" "Like he was talking." "*laughter* No, he was trying to make a good impression." "Ohhhh. Well that's good." I could see his estimation of the bf rising. I value my father's opinion, but it wouldn't be the deal breaker. Mommy would be the deal breaker. And she loves him. I think daddy is afraid the bf will take me away. That's just the wanna be psychologist in me.

The diamond tutorial... Wise was right on this one. This was by far the most commented on. But only by the women. Dudes don't care. It was exciting because its true, diamonds are a girl's best friend. But I didn't look too deeply into it. I learned a lot. The technical aspects and about myself. I hate marquis cut (football-shaped) and anything that looks like a shape not found in nature (i.e. heart or star). I don't like round/brilliant cuts b/c they're boring. I thought I liked emerald cut, but it doesn't sparkle enough. I LOVE princess cut. It looks like a regular square. I now know for certain I don't want anything smaller than 1 1/2 carats. But I don't need a huge ring. Set in white gold. So there it is. I know I want to be with him and vice versa. But neither of us is ready to get married.

This girl from college, one of those serial monogamists, got married this past weekend. She's a friend of a friend. But we were never really close. I started thinking about what it would be like to be married at 24. That is SCARY!! Why would I want to do that? Why rush? That is a permanent commitment for me. There are no practice runs or first marriages. Only marriage. I want to KNOW. And I need to have my independence first. I can't move out of my parents' house and into my house with my husband. This wasn't her situation. These are just things are started thinking about. I want to go to a wedding because I think they're pretty. I'm just in no rush to head down the aisle myself. Just typing that scared the crap out of me. Men are programmed to think women always want to get married. Don't kid yourself. Women like weddings. All women do NOT think you're the one.

Did I bring him to the job to shut up the loser? Nope. He had no desire to meet box boy. Plus when I was asking box boy places to go, he was like, I can show you guys around. I keep the bf apprised of all situations w/men who claim to want to "be my friend" or "show me around." Always lies. So he knows about box boy and was wary of him before I was. Actually I was wary the first day I saw him. But I have this pesky thing about giving people the benefit of the doubt. Its very wack. I really should stop. My first feeling is never wrong. So knowing all of these things, let's say the bf was less than excited abt meeting box boy. As in didn't want to at all. So we didn't. He actually met no one from work. So they probably think he doesn't actually exist. Lololol. Any more questions?


Jonzee said...

Loved the comment about marriage at 24. I have been watching some of the same sort of Tom Foolery go down in Cleveland. The bridezillas are the ones I feel the worst for. They have been living for a wedding since before puberty.

I'm so happy for you!! Take your time and enjoy the ride, just like you seem to be doing.

Anonymous said...

Damn!!! 24 is early as all get out!! I couldnt do it.

Even a diamond tutorial is too much for me. I dont want no one getting any ideas!!

I am happy for you!!! Enjoy the time you have with him.

Dreamlover said...

Yeah, don't rush into marriage, that's the worst thing you can do!

Nice to hear that your mum likes him and daddy seems to as well!!


Ladynay said...

You addressed someone by name that I don't think you meant to. I would have emailed you, but your email is not on your profile.

CNEL said...

"We want to be closer to each other, and are willing to move to make it happen. But it has to be within the bounds of both of our careers. Because neither of us wants the other to sacrifice upward career mobility."

Awww, ya'll are loving, yet sensible. Ya'lls commitment to a friendship as the foundation for a relationship, and ability to openly communicate will keep it moving.

"I think daddy is afraid the bf will take me away."

You know that's it, your Dad would go to war for you. He doesn't want that heart broken.

"So there it is. I know I want to be with him and vice versa. But neither of us is ready to get married."

Damn, you see what it took to get that out of you. Ain't no one want you to elope, we just wanted that right there declaration, cause reading between the lines is tedious, ha.

"Men are programmed to think women always want to get married. Don't kid yourself. Women like weddings. All women do NOT think you're the one."

Nuh uh. We aren't pre-programmed. But you know it's been that so much of a woman's life leads up to marriage, and marriage through attracting a provider. So much of a man's life has been conditioned so that he can be said provider. We now live in a world where equality, and reciprocity through generosity is slowly but surely becoming more of a reality.

But you were right when you said some men like to always think they are the one, and some women like to think that they are the one too.

Adei von K said...

you know there's another cut to add to our diamond repertoire called the 'rose' cut? It looks like something out of the Titanic!

The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

lil'sarccasik is gonna grow up and ask me the same damn questions...i will answer them like your pop did....start crackin' on him..."What's wrong with his walk"..."He always talk like that"

Jameil said...

jonz... i watch bridezillas and that makes me want to jump off a bridge. someone push me if i act like that.

epsi... that's what i'm sayin! but you have that lil commitment problem you gotta get over. that's not it. i just am not ready to jump in like that. i love our time together.

dream... yeah, i def. don't want to be the one getting married then saying, what did i just do???

thanks lady. its not a big secret i just try not to most times.

cnel lmao@ reading b/t the lines is hard. you're hilarious!!! that shit cracks me up! y'all definitely believe we tryna get y'all down the aisle. i say anything and y'all get to thinkin i'm tryin to marry you off. its crazy. i ain't thinkin bout you fool! lololol

stace.. that just sounds stupid.

sarcasstik... HAHAHAAHAHAHA!! thanks for taking me inside the mind of a father.

Southern Girl said...

J, I have to give you your props! You are handling your relationships with just the right amount of maturity! Most women do not do that but it makes me smile to know that some of us do!!!

Cluizel said...

I feel you on the whole diamond thing...reminds me of teh sex and teh city episode when Aiden got Carrie that ugly ring first...ugh

Anonymous said...

um..as someone who has bought not ONE, but TWO engagement rings...

let me say in all complete honesty...

1 1/2 carats is a lot of damn ring, especially if the color and clarity are on point.

aint sayin you not worth it...im just sayin...

thats a lot of effin ring.

my wallet winced just reading it.

Jameil said...

southern... thanks :)

sl... lololol. i don't want to be present when my future fiancee picks the ring. he needs to be able to pick out something appropriate on his own, or at least w/o my assistance.

dp... i know... and you KNOW the color and clarity must be on point. otherwise, there's no point. if you can't afford to get me a ring, you can't afford to get married. also i just want a solitaire so that should bring the price down. right? lol

4EverJennayNay said...


wise was right. so thanx for the clarifications.

i decided at 17 that the princess cut was the only one for me! the others are just wack.

married at 24??? why on earth would I do that?

So...Wise...Sista said...

That'a girl!

Nice on all accounts! Dad is just being Dad. The Boy is just being sweet as all hell, and the ring, well 1.5 carats...enough said. lol

My fav part of course is the relocation convo. You guys are on point, don't wanna compromise the upward mobility of either. Esp when you make a big move like that it's important for you both to feel a sense of belonging and purpose. Yall so mature and cute! Glad I asked. :)