Crazy Week

So my mini-vacay starts Monday. I'm off for three days. But don't tell anyone b/c one of those days might disappear. You know how unsolicited (and solicited) days have a way of doing that when someone else is responsible for your schedule.

Why does Making the Band 3's Wanita's mama think <--------that is the correct way to spell Juanita. I know I can't talk since my name is Jameil and its pronounced "Jamel." But my mom spelled it the pretty way, not the way it sounded. So stop hatin. Raise your hand if you've been pronouncing my name wrong in your head. Go head. Put 'em up.

So... I'm tempted to see what's the earliest time I can start drinking this week. I have a beer right now. I started it at 11am. That's not good enough. I've been up since 930 last night so its not as bad as it sounds. But I'd like to see how bad I can get. I learned from my producer, "Its deceptively hard to find some place to drink at 9 in the morning." Fell out laughing b/c I definitely understand. Why do I need a drink today? Because I just finished producing my first full show. I produced last week, but it was a waaaaaaaaay abbreviated show at only 30 minutes. Today... 3 HOURS. That's right. The news marathon. Afterwards I wanted to teleport home so I could start drinking sooner.

OMG! Have you seen these MTV commercials where the kids are instructing the parents to use condoms/practice safe sex/etc.? Hilarious. Back to MTB3. I'm sittin here bawlin like a baby watching the portion in New Orleans. Sooooooooooo sad. I'm getting to the point where I hear New Orleans and feel ready to cry. But did y'all hear about people spending FEMA money on Girls Gone Wild tapes, football tickets, champagne at Hooters, getting their nails done (did), and here's the best... sex changes! That's right. Sex changes. Now its not funny b/c there are people who still need help who will have an even harder time getting it, but its hilarious that people would think to spend money on these things!! And that there were no restrictions! Wow... you know how they have guv'ment cheese? Do they have guv'ment sex changes? Are they discounted, cut rate sex changes? Do you get only half the process? Just wondering.

Some other things I was wondering. I saw the largest popcorn kernels in America on the ground near this bakery-type factory or something near my house. Now first I would just like to ask, if I live so close to this place, why doesn't it smell like cake everyday? It doesn't smell like anything. Do they bake this stuff far away, box it up without wrappers, then ship it to my house? Because I see Tastycake and something else trucks, but I smell no goodness. That's what you're eating? Stuff they box w/o wrappers and ship to be wrapped? Nasty. So the popcorn. I see this dude standing amongst it the other day and I'm disgusted. But then I decide he's there to clean up that mess. Today I see it again and I'm like WHAT'S THE DEAL?! Guys. I've never been here in spring. I had to look waaaaaaaay up to the top of the giant tree... They were flower petals. Word life. (the funniest phrase in the world to me) I have never, EVER seen a flower bearing tree that large. And though you now think my perception is severely skewed, let me just say this tree is at least 20 feet tall. Now imagine the flowers. Let ya mind go free.

Beer number too now. (And I PROMISE I had all these thoughts prior to a single drink, tho I am quite tired). Watching Rev. Run's House now. Nice. Love this show. LOVE! But not as much as I love el bf-o (yeah that's right Karamale and Cuban Stace, that's Spanish for "the bf"). He'll be here in 12 days, 8 hours and 2 minutes Whooooo hooooooooooo!! Next thought. I saw a dead raccoon on the way home. I thought to myself, is there raccoon peer pressure? Like the raccoon in the street. What possessed him to cross the street at that moment? Was he thinking, I can beat this. I know I can beat this. That big ass deer with the bright eyes growling up the hill at me can't touch this. (that's how they see cars) I'm goin for it. Raccoon friend, "Don't do it Billy." Raccoon Hater, "Do it. I bet you won't do it. I bet you're scared." Original Raccoon, "I bet I will, I bet I will." RH, "I bet you won't, I bet you won't." OR, "YES I WILL!! *BOOF!* @#@^%&#$%^" *RH walks away shaking head and laughing* "Stupid."

Now THAT'S imagination. Don't hate. I have an inquisitive mind. Its called genius. Get in my mindspace son. And I'm out. *swagger*


Soldier said...

LOL , have another beer !

I thought your name was pronounced "Jameel", good thing you let us know !

Dreamlover said...

yeah, me too about the name.

Also, ur job sounds frigging cool.

Miguel said...

i can top your raccoon story...i'll post it tomorrow. and it's true.

Ladynay said...

Put the beer down! All in racoons heads and what not!

I knew your name was pronouced Jamel when you mentioned a dude with that name and you thought it was the bomb! LOL

CNEL said...

"Raise your hand if you've been pronouncing my name wrong in your head. Go head. Put 'em up."

Fully raised hand goes up. Damn never wudda thunk it.

"So... I'm tempted to see what's the earliest time I can start drinking this week"

You'd fit right in over here where Caffe Del Corso where you get paninis by day and drinks by night.

"But did y'all hear about people spending FEMA money on Girls Gone Wild tapes, football tickets, champagne at Hooters, getting their nails done (did), and here's the best... sex changes! That's right. Sex changes."

Those idiots which are giving law abiding, hard working New Orleanians bad names, well if they think they been victimized, I want to victimize them again and slap some sense into their ignorant behinds. What the hell? Where is your head, rebuild that which you need in life, not that which you desire.

"Watching Rev. Run's House now. Nice. Love this show. LOVE!"

Me too can't wait to see it when I get home. His daughters are purdy LoL.

"I thought to myself, is there raccoon peer pressure?

I hope to God that you were drunk or atleast slightly buzzed when that thought emerged. LoL but that scenario you played out was funny.

Chris said...

I definitely have been pronouncing it wrong also. and as someone who prides himself on getting it right, I'm so ashamed.

Lyrically speaking said...

Yeah the beer part, that's wayyyyy too early, lol, as for the MTV commercials I saw that and was cracking up, it's more like reversed pschology, lol, enjoyed reading your post and I will stop by again.

Anonymous said...

o/ <---hand raised.

As for the Beer...as the sign says...It's five o'clock SOMEWHERE.

When you find yourself looking for a beer EVERY morning...you got issues.

Raccoons, like squirrels, cats, dogs and all other creatures, woodland, timid and otherwise think ONE thing.


then there is the idea that something might be coming. but if the desire to cross the street is strong enough...cars never enter the equation.

La said...

Oh honey. WTF?

Yes I am guilty of mispronouncing your name. But what's important is...

Raccoon peer pressure? You deserve that vacation. Please take a few more days LOL

GreatWhyte said...

Definitely put one in the air for mispronouncing your name in my head.... VERY sorry about that, and it won't happen again! Also, the raccoon stuff? PRICELESS!!!!! The whole peer pressure conversation almost had me in the floor.

Jameil said...

soldier... yes! that's exactly what i need, encouragement! lolol

dream.. my job sounds cool? lol everyone says that. its fun sometimes. i like it. but it can be taxing.

petey (you and these names! lmao!) i can't wait! you have the best stories.

lady.. put it down? now why would i do that? you pay attn! yay!

cnel... you haven't been paying attn. tsk tsk. paninis and drinks! yessssssssss!! IMAGINATION! get some homie. it'll improve your writing, even writing for news. guarantee it.

chris... as my momma says, "give yourself a whoopin since i can't get to you." ain't she adorable? one of my friends says my mom calls me "jah-may-al." HILARIOUS! i didn't even notice b/c i mean duh its my mom but now it cracks me up that my name becomes 90 syllables in the south.

dela... its never too early! plus since i had been up for nearly 14 hours by that point, it was like 7 or 8 pm. that's past happy hour. i was overdue.

dp... thanks for letting us know what they're REALLY thinking. HILARIOUS. and i love the hand raising sign. i read once that the media has one of the highest incidences of drinking among professions. i don't doubt it. its not everyday and i'm not getting drunk. a drink a day keeps the doctor away. isn't that how it goes?

la.. yes! i will! i will sit here and do nothing. or sit in the sun or have a picnic!

x... glad i could entertain you! :O)

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

ok. i had actually been pronouncing your name right in my head but thinking i was more than likly wrong about but smugly and persistatnly sticking to it. I love it when i'm instinctively right.

Now, more importantly. Grave error with Beer in the AM. Why? Its filling. Instead treat yourself to a few bloody mary's with Grey Goose or Belevedere Vodka. It can almost be construed as healthy. You got tomato juice, lime, olives, celery, perhaps a little horseradish, and of course the binding agent: Vodka - No sugar, no carbs. Its highly energetic and its a widly "accepted" morning beverage. The same folks who may scoff at a morning beer, may in fact join you for a bloody mary.

Plus you know - blood, mary - i could twist that into a religious something or other......

the blood of christ & the body of mary,

the good reverend.

So...Wise...Sista said...

What kinda random-thought-inducing beer was that?! :)

Sherlon Christie said...

that FEMA audit...was out of control

Jameil said...

rev... YOU ARE CRAZY!! i can't drink tomato juice. i don't care if it does have vodka in it. i'll take mimosas and bellinis, tho! :)

wise... just yuengling.

sp... do go on.

Clay said...

cant really get into this season of making the band ... it sucks ...

Cece said...

Please note as head of the Lush Association I always say its never to early to start drinking. Its 5o'clock somewhere. And the rev is soo right skip the beer, grab a bellini and proceed to enjoy life just a touch more...after all isnt that what alcohol makes you do? Why would anyone want to wait for that? Start now. As in stop reading and go get a drink. lol

Supa said...

Congrats on your first full production!!! Yay!!

Girl. You and your beer!!

Thinking about it..I've never had a drink before 11 am. :) Sheeit, when I'm on vacay, I'm still SLEEP at 9 am.

Enjoy yourself, sweetie!!!

Jameil said...

clay... i heard someone else say that... there's only been one episode...

cece... lolol thanks Madam Chair.

supa... oh yeah. i'm off 3 more days next week when the bf gets here. i'm definitely considering an am brunch picnic. isn't that adorable?

Adei von K said...

I am kinda ashamed to admit this but I SWEAR birds have to dip/dive in front of your car as you pass to join some bird gang!! I always think it must be some rite of passage to safely swoop in front of a moving car and make it to the rest who have crossed the burning pavement...

If you ever feel its too early to drink, have a Moet Mimosa; the drink of socialites. How else can you drink that early in the morning (UNCF Breakfast or something) and not be considered a lush?? Love it!

JOB said...

Jameil, come to my school, you'll hear some names. Case in point - a young lady named Genesis. You think her name sounds like the first name in the Bible, right? You'd be wrong. It's pronounced, so she says, "Hennessy."

the joy said...

you are so getting linked. you keep inspiring me to speak my random mind.

yeah, i thought your name was ja-me-el. oops. and wanita's mom was trying to be cute cuz her last name's woodget. we went to the same high school and had drama together for a short time.

and now i cant stop thinking of road kill

Southern Girl said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Southern Girl said...

J~Honey, just let it go...put the beer down and back away:) Do we need to get you some AA vouchers? j/k:) You had me LMAO on this one....drink that stress away girl, drink!

Jarrod said...

I think in order to work in TV you have to be a functioning alcoholic. It's easier to drown out people when you're tipsy. And I feel you on the three hour session that is the morning show.

Jameil said...

stace... BIRD INITIATION!? hilarious. and it drives me crazy how people think only a beer is a prob in the morning or whiskey. but add oj and you're ok! lmao.

job... lmao. clearly i know those names. i know a girl named fabreeziah.

joy... glad to be an inspiration! lolol.. YIKES! that last name makes it even worse!! geez! wanita woodget?! that's horrid! what were y'all beefin about?

southern... let me direct you back a few posts. AA IS FOR QUITTERS! hahahahahaha

jarrod... now i ain't say nuthin abt bein tipsy at work!! lololol. but after work affairs w/coworkers almost always include drinks. esp. lunchtime margaritas at chilis since lunch is like dinnertime for us.

Cluizel said...

LMAO...*swagger*? lol...I am gonna have to steal that.

Cluizel said...

LMAO...*swagger*? lol...I am gonna have to steal that.