Movies 2012: Weeks 12-14

Week 12: March 18-24, 2012
48) The Lie. A man tells a HORRENDOUS lie to get out of going to work and things just SPIRAL as a result. An already unlikeable man becomes reprehensible. The tale of annoying hipsters. Not to mention the pace of this movie is sloooooow. AND I hated the end. Just terrible. 2 stars
49) Submarine. 15-year-old Welsh boy Oliver Tate wants to be with the girl of his dream and save his parents' marriage but can he do both? He's sure gonna try! I was thoroughly amused by this quirky coming-of-age film. 3.9 stars
50) Chaos Theory. Ryan Reynolds stars as a strictly regimented man who blames his wife setting the clock 10-minutes fast on his whole life spiraling out of control. Rather amusing film throughout ruined by a poor, non-sequitur ending. You really don't even need the conceit proposed in the beginning. There's no reason for this to be a tale told from the present about the past. 2.9 stars

Week 13: March 25-31, 2012
51) Carnage. Roman Polanski adapts a play about parents who meet when their children get into a fight. What begins as a stilted affair full of forced pleasantries quickly begins to devolve in a series of awkward and passive aggressive ways. Excruciating to watch. I wouldn't want to live through it let alone watch it happen to fictional strangers. And at the end it just stops. Why? 2 stars
52) Martha Marcy May Marlene. An indie film about a woman who joins a cult and is brainwashed into believing she was in a loving relationship. When she calls her sister to rescue her, the woman can't remember what's real and what's not. Pretty crazy. Quite good. 4 stars
53) Mrs. Henderson Presents. A rich widow (Dame Judi Dench) shocks Britain when she buys a decrepit theater and opens a nude revue. Harmless film. Would not have been worth watching without Dench. And still... eh. 3 stars
54) Chasing Papi. Silly silly SILLY movie about three women who get caught up in a sting right as they find out they share a boyfriend. I giggled throughout at the horribleness. So mostly unintentionally funny. Sofia Vergara stars. 3.3 stars

Week 14: April 1-6, 2012
55) Miss Bala. Mexican film about a pageant contestant who unknowingly becomes a drug war pawn when she witnesses a nightclub massacre. Painfully slow film. Lots of emotionless stares from the lead. At the end, the film just stopped. ? 2.5 stars
56) How Do You Know. Reese Witherspoon, Owen Wilson & Paul Rudd are the points of a love triangle about a woman who has to decide what she wants while her professional life is in turmoil. Too long at nearly two hours and missing some of the practicality you might desire if you were silly enough to expect that from a movie whose outcome is obvious from the outset but cute enough. 3.3 stars
57) Sabrina. The Harrison Ford-starred remake of the Audrey Hepburn classic about a chauffeur's daughter who goes to Paris, comes back and entrances the sons of the rich family she grew up with. Fine. A little too long. I could see this being on free television when I was a kid. 2.9 stars
58) Marc Jacobs & Louis Vuitton. Terrible "documentary" about Marc Jacobs' connections with the famous French company. Flippant, annoying narration I'm sure was meant to evoke a whimsical air representative of the subject. It was incredibly annoying. It was supposed to be a behind-the-scenes look but the director squanders what he tells us repeatedly is exclusive access by rarely using any meaningful commentary or interviews from Jacobs himself! But most annoying was the unstructured nature of the film. You could drop in at any point and not have missed anything. Halfway through did I know anything new about Jacobs? No. There were also moments where people were completely unintelligible whether due to accents or interviewing in rave-type atmospheres. This could've been a 15 minute segment of a television show. 1.4 stars
59) Being Elmo. A wonderful documentary about the puppeteer behind Elmo. What a great guy. My only qualms surrounded the narration by Whoopi Goldberg. She's so recognizable that it was a distraction. It got worse when she was an on-camera interviewee. Very strange. The parts without narration were really stronger. The second half of the film was amazing. 3.9 stars

Monday Mindspacing Vol. 136

1) Instagram is a tool, not a magician. It can not make your ugly pictures pretty. And please stop using 18 filters on every single picture. Love, everyone you know
2) When I meet another Jameil (Jamel, Jamelle, Jemele), I'm always excited! What do you do when you have a common name? Other than compare unusual spellings. I'm so used to having a relatively rare name that the idea of the opposite fascinates me. Any rarer names ever met anyone with their name? Do tell!
3) Ummm... Good Reads? Rating and getting book suggestions??? Yes, please!
4) I got Rashan GOOD for April Fools yesterday! Love it! LOLOL  He was like, "You got me." And then he laughed bemusedly.
5) I hate what Time Warner Cable On Demand did to exercise on demand. How can I take something seriously that's called "Exercise Sportskool" and looks like it was filmed in a grandma's basement circa 1987? It. is. TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!!
6) I boycotted the Muppets movie because it was over promoted. I felt like they were trying to MAKE me see that movie. So I refused. I'm sure I'll see it eventually but I'm still not over it.
7) I still haven't seen a lot of the best pic Oscar nominees after seeing all of them before the awards show the previous two years. This must end! And soon!
8) Rashan and his brother geek all the way out over Wrestlemania. I sit here with the stone-faced.
9) Know what I love about our moms? They are not even the least bit pressuring us about having children. They are excited by the prospect but not pressuring us. Know what else I love? My mom's saving her sabbatical for my first born. Awwwww!
10) I've given up on saying I have no desire to run a marathon. The more I read about it, and knowing myself, the more I believe it's inevitable for me. Half-Marathon 2012. Marathon 2013. Triathlon 2014. Wow.
11) I got carded twice at the same store this weekend. Who wants the over under for when I stop being regularly carded? I'm 29 now. I'm going to say 34. Laaaawd it's gonna be a long 5 years!
12) Have I told you lately I love the first of the month? 9 months of marriage as of yesterday! Woot! Our first 9 months of living together were way more annoying than our 9 months of marriage. I also love that we're 9 months in and have 900 (or so LOL) more months to go! Yaaaaay!

Movies 2012: Weeks 9-11

Week 9: February 26- March 3, 2012
35) If A Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front. In this Oscar-nominated documentary, Marshall Curry and Sam Cullman use an inside connection to a so-called eco-terrorist to take us inside a group known for burning properties in the name of environmentalism.The naivete of these kids going out there and burning things, trying to save the world. It wasn't the environmentalism it was the ignorance of consequences and lack of forethought. Absolutely baffling. I love the subjects of Curry's films and many of the ways he tells them but I'm always bothered by the way he inserts himself. It often feels unnecessary and distracting. Still a worthwhile film. 3.9 stars
36) The Guard. Don Cheadle stars as an FBI agent sent to Ireland to break up a drug ring and the guard (local cop) who helps him. Quirky comedy. Amusing at times, kind of boring at others. It was difficult to pay attention sometimes through the oddities. 3.3 stars
37) A Complete History of My SexualFailures. A documentary about an independent filmmaker who goes in search of his old girlfriends to find out why he's single. He's definitely a loser. You have no problem seeing that almost immediately. His despondence is unintentionally funny. Some bizarre nudity. I liked watching his train wreck, though. 3.5 stars

Week 10: March 4-10, 2012
38) Happily Ever Afters. An Irish screwball comedy about two weddings booked at the same time at the same reception site. Of course it was silly but still watchable. 3.3 stars
39) Hugo. A 12-year-old boy living behind the clock in a French train station meets a girl who holds the key to his deepest desire. So cute! I understand why this was nominated for and won so many Academy Awards. Fantastic cinematography. Engaging story line. Directed by Martin Scorcese. 4 stars
40) Like Crazy. A couple meets in college in the U.S. but things begin to unravel when her visa expires and they have to navigate a very long-distance relationship. Meh. Just kind of there. I wish they'd gone handheld with the cameras less. There were some shots that were shaky for no reason other than to show this was an indie movie. I guess to make us feel like we're just in on their lives? But there were plenty of effects that freed us of that illusion. 2.9 stars
41) The King and I. A musical with less than engaging music. Set in Siam around the time of the American Civil War, a British teacher heads to the country with her young son to teach the Siamese king's children. I usually like musicals but this one was boring. I could have skipped it. 2.8 stars

Week 11: March 11-17, 2012
42) Jockey. A 2004 Emmy-winning documentary about the horrors of being a jockey in competitive horse racing. Really, really disgusting what these men do to their bodies to meet highly restrictive 112-pound riding weight limits. Many essentially become bulimics. Very difficult to watch. 3.6 stars
43) Babies. A documentary about babies around the world. Some ridiculously cute new humans!! Set among some stunning vistas with limited adult speech, it's quite a fun watch... for the first 20 minutes or so. Then it's like is this supposed to be a commentary on life? On how we raise our children? How alike we all are even in our differences? Even still we can probably do that in less time, no? Yes. 3 stars
44) My Week with Marilyn. Michelle Williams earned an Academy Award nomination for her portrayal of Marilyn Monroe. The script feels plodding. Like after every memorable moment for the writer behind the story there's a huge pause. "Reflect! Feel the memory! Wonderful, isn't it?" Well... when you MAKE me reflect, less so. Williams and Monroe are both too well-known for me to separate them... or make them the same person. I see Williams with only short flashes of Monroe. And some people seemed like they were over-acting in an attempt to earn themselves an Oscar. That list decidedly does not include Dame Judi Dench who may have been the best actor on the set. 2.9 stars
45) Young Adult. Charlize Theron stars as a divorced former homecoming queen who returns to her small hometown to win back her high school sweetheart... a man who happens to have a wife and a brand new baby. She plays a truly awful character... and I loved it! An unlikeable train wreck. Don't expect to guffaw, more like smirk. Definitely a dark comedy and worth watching. 4 stars
46) She's Gotta Have It. Spike Lee's first film centers around a woman juggling three men who know about each other and vie for her attention. There was some terrible acting. And yet... the story line was an engaging one if not outrageously sexist while exposing double standards. You still wanted to know the outcome. I did wonder if liking Spike Lee made me overly forgiving of the film's faults. 3.8 stars
47) Heaven Can Wait. 1943 comedy about a dead man telling his life story to the devil. It's amusing that this dude is actually trying to talk his way into hell. Wait, what? Cute film. 3.7 stars

30 Before 30 #15: Run A 10k

If you had told me a year ago I'd be running a 10k, I would've been SHOCKED!! Running a 5k had been on my yearly goals for a good three years before I even started Couch to 5k. No I don't know what took me so long! LOL After my first 5k I definitely knew I'd want to do a 10K and eventually a half-marathon. I am still currently completely disinterested in a marathon. I rule nothing out for the future but for now... yeah...

To the 10K! Friday night I picked up my race packet with my number, the shirt you see to the right (ain't it cute?? Of course I don't like the orange on it but since I'm a Florida Gator I happened to have some orange ribbon) and gobs of advertisements and coupons from sponsors. My favorite? Free Chick-fil-a Chik-n-minis!!!!! That place has my favorite fast food breakfast. Those buttery biscuits! Yes, Lord! Evidence of your will and your way!

When I walked in to pick up my packet just 15 minutes after packet pick-up started, the line was wrapped around the gym. INSANE! Then someone said that was the 5k line and the 10k line was over there... aka the table with one person in line. Yes! I felt so proud walking over there! But when I left, despite there being well over 100 people in and around the school, not one person greeted me, or said hello. The sign out front says all welcome, this is a Catholic school and my participation directly helps your cause. OPEN YOUR MOUTH. People not speaking to me is my BIGGEST pet peeve when I'm spending my money. And most of all, this is my fourth race. I'm used to the excitement from volunteers. It's usually a very festive atmosphere. This was not. But I chalked it up in part to chaos and kept it moving as I got my race gear together. I laid out my outfit including the green socks with the shamrocks you can't see and reviewed my race morning preps.

Me and my sister!

I'm always crazy amped the day before a race and have a terrible time sleeping for more than a few hours at a time so I skimped on sleep a little the night before to make myself more tired. I know that's probably bad but... IT WORKED! I actually slept! The next morning I got dressed and my sister was here!!!! Yay! It was her first time seeing me run and we were both excited about it! Rashan was much less excited. He's been to all of my races and hates waking up early (I feel him on that) to do it and standing around waiting for me to return (he should always be happy to wait for me!!!). He was quite salty about it. Side eye to that dude.

This race actually had food available before it started and INDOOR BATHROOMS!!! I'm delighted to never have experienced a race without actual bathrooms! I realize that as I enter larger races this will change but I will rest on my porta potty-free running laurels for a while. Back to the food. I couldn't finish my oatmeal that morning because it made me feel queasy. So I was glad to note there was a ton of food there! I had a bagel portion (probably 1/5), an orange slice and some (intentionally) watery coffee. I need that to enter my pre-race fuel list. I felt AWESOME during the race!

I planned to pace myself for at least the first half, then push for the last half and almost sprint for the last mile or so. I paced myself pretty well. The course was an out and back AGAIN (every race I've been in now) so I got to see all of the early people pass me. I also got to see who was behind me. I had passed two women around mile two. They were behind me, a couple and that's it. A man SPEED WALKING with walking sticks passed me around mile two. My goal remained during this race NOT to let him beat me. Now I could tell early on my Runkeeper app was about .3 of a mile off but I did not estimate how much that distance discrepancy would throw off my pacing.

I originally wanted to come in under 1:19:00 but as long as I came in under 1:23 (my previous longest 6.2-mile run while training), I decided that would be okay. While I was excited about this race, I felt like my training period was off, I didn't know enough about the 10k distance. And my former running partner, who though I need a break from training with, I like racing with, told me three days before the race that she wasn't doing the race anymore. ????? I blamed both of us for that poor training but really more myself. It's my responsibility to prepare myself to run the race I want to run. I'm still upset about it. I thought I was over this race but writing about it is bringing it all back.

The whole race I was smiling and waving at people as I passed them. It made it really fun to race! Unlike the people at the front of the pack. They were so focused they looked angry. Please make me stop running when it stops being fun. I understand being focused. I can be focused for free. I race because it's fun. Around 4.5 miles in, the cutest little girls came out of their house cheering and offered me water! So cute! They buoyed me up! Especially since this was where I saw a guy who stone-faced me. A COURSE VOLUNTEER did not smile, wave or in any way acknowledge me. He was one of multiple. Y'all. These were HANDS DOWN the worst course volunteers I've ever encountered. There were some great ones. The lady right after mile five was AWESOME! My favorite all day! The timekeepers were great. There were others. But I passed multiple people who looked annoyed to be there. YOU'RE A VOLUNTEER!! I DIDN'T MAKE YOU COME OUT HERE!! Twas bad.

Around mile five, I caught back up with walking man. He was always in view but I just closed the gap in mile four. When we hit the five-mile mark, I passed him. It was awesome! I almost thanked him for pacing me but thought that might come off as rude. At this point I was sprinting. My version of sprinting. I felt GREAT! When I got near the 6 mile mark, there were lots of people cheering so that was cool. But then there were others who turned their backs as I passed. I kid you not. HORRIBLE PEOPLE!!!! But right after them, I passed another woman. I felt a little bit bad about that because I could tell she was struggling and I knew it would only make her feel worse. I started to say something but thought it would sound bad. IDK.

After that I saw Rashan, my sister and her friend. They were cheering me on so that was fun! I love seeing my people at the race! Then I saw I the finish line clock was getting close to 1:21:00. UGH!! But I felt great so I was actually kind of okay. I just wanted to get under 1:21:00 so I pushed even more. I was pretty sure I made it so I was cool when I crossed the finish. I walked to get my legs back (your legs feel SO WEIRD after long runs) then got some food. All the Krispy Kreme doughnuts were gone by this time. Jameil wept.

Then I looked at my Runkeeper. Y'all. Why did this app have me thinking I was averaging 12:28/mile when I was actually averaging 13:04/mile!?!?!? I didn't even realize it until I saw the times posted online. I knew I felt great for the first 5 miles and that I was obviously holding back and pacing myself but 13:04?!!? I wanted to cry. With the way I felt at the end of the race? I bet I could've shaved off 2 minutes, maybe more. And my unofficial time was 1:21:01. UGH!!!!!!!!!! I consoled myself thinking the official time would be different because I didn't start right when the gun went off. You let the fastest people get at the front. So I hung back a little. EXCEPT it was a gun start. Everybody gets the same start time marked as the time the gun went off. AND NO ONE TOLD US. What!? Can you tell me the point of having chip timing (tracking my finish time) if everyone gets the same starting time???? How does that create official timing??? I can't describe to you how annoyed I am by that. I need every future race to be specific. It's so OBVIOUS that I wouldn't have even thought to question it.

Post-race, I like to hear the fastest runners. Most races announce the three fastest male and female. This race announced the fastest three males and females in every age group from 10 to 70+. In multiples of five. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!? It took AT LEAST 45 minutes. The only reason I stayed was for the door prizes which they said you had to be present to receive. There were some FANTASTIC prizes. $100 gift certificates to running stores and expensive restaurants, travel vouchers. It was great. But then the woman drawing decided to look at a list of names and pick the first one that her eye landed on. Then they announced that because so few people stuck around, if you knew someone you could get their prize for them. A group of women got 4 prizes for people they knew. TOTAL CRAP. Of course I won nothing. I was so annoyed by the overall experience that I wrote a letter to the organizers. They offered me free registration for next year's race. I'll accept it, already praying in advance I'm not here this time next year and will kindly hope to never see any of those people again.

To shake off that awful, awful experience, I almost immediately found another race. My next 10K is April 10th in Cary, NC near my sister. I WILL come in under 1:18:00. I've done a lot of research. I will get what I want. Here are some things I learned from researching and from my own experience.

1. I feel great when I get a tiny bit of food in me within 30 minutes of the race. I'm sticking with a piece of bagel and an orange.
2. Gummy worms don't work for me. Just one spiked me WAY too much in a bad way.
3. 10Ks are hard to pace because there's so little room for error if you start out too slow.
4. I MUST write down my projected times for each mile. My app won't be an issue if I have my hits worked out ahead of time.
5. Most importantly: get in the game. Train the way I want to to be READY, willing and able to race.

Monday Mindspacing Vol. 135

1) Did my first 10k this weekend!!! Wheeee!! I'll post about it later in the week but here are a few details: okay finish, good food, bad hosts and terrible awards ceremonies. The organizers really put a terrible taste in my mouth. It was bad enough for me to write a letter to the organizers.
2) I keep my windows open during the day and you should hear me vetting the people looking at the apartment behind us. "Small baby? Nope. The walls are too thin." "Is that a cigarette?!? What do I need to tell you to get you to leave???"
3) We have a large closet... but it seems like it's shrinking. I got this apartment before we lived together and it falls far short of our joint needs. Dear job, I've put in my applications. I'm waiting. Are you calling? XOXO -Me
4) Where is spring!?!? I don't want us to already be in the 80s!!! :((((((
5) I tasted that Dorito taco at Taco Bell. Meh. Even for fast food. I'm a foodie but sometimes I dig my fast food. This was not their best effort. Their healthy tacos are actually pretty good if overpriced in relation to the rest of their menu.
6) This is currently my favorite commercial:

Cracks me up EVERY TIME!!!!! LOLOL
7) I think my neighbor leaves her tv on when she leaves. And still her dogs GO NUTS when she leaves the house. There was actual howling today!
8) I read that skipping is  good alternative form of fitness when training for a run. Can someone tell me where a grown woman who lives in an apartment skips without having people point and laugh??? Doesn't exist.
9) I would've never EVER watched "Family Guy" w/o Rashan. Did I say ever? I don't like adult cartoons. I guess I should say I didn't like adult cartoons. It cracks me up now... sometimes.
10) In case you were wondering, coffee still makes me crackish. Whatever I had Sunday was so strong that even after I diluted it with water to make it cool enough to drink, I was INSTANTLY awake and excited. Twas. NUTS.
11) Somebody go make me some breakfast.

Small Talk

Me: *Places sponges on counter*
Family Dollar Guy: Hm. Got some new sponges, huh?
Me: I don't know.
FDG: You don't know?!?
(Overlapping speech)
Me: I don't come here often enough to know whether you have new sponges.
FDG: They yo sponges, ain't they??
Me: *blank stare*

We must have a conversation about my sponges??? And a basic one?? But why?? Obviously I'm buying new sponges so.... Please just ring me up, sir. Tell me this is not the worst kind of small talk.

Monday Mindspacing Vol. 134

1) Cough drops are disgusting. I hate the smell of them even more than the taste.
2) I saw The King and I for the first time this weekend. Not a fan. The songs were overwhelmingly meh. The story was boring. I usually love musicals. Not this time.
3) It is official. I am a stan for pasta. I don't even need meat in it anymore. Mmmmm
4) Ran my 3rd 5k on Saturday! It was very small but quite festive! There was a dj and I learned how to do the Wobble! The race course? There was a BRUTAL incline at the end. I was hoping for more but I shaved 3:18 off of my December 5k time. I wish it was more but I'm starting to need to change my training schedule. My mind and body are getting bored. And my hips are starting to hurt. That said... I LOVE RACING!! My first 10k is next week. The week after that, things change.
5) I can be so bratty. I boycotted a post-race "brunch" in part because it was misnamed. There's NO breakfast food on Saturday at this place. I mentioned that for people who might be looking for breakfast food, it's not brunch, it's lunch. Response: It's at 11 so we're calling it brunch. I'm like, really? Do you know what brunch means? What the "br" is for? If I'm eating out in the morning, I need my eggs. ESPECIALLY after a race. Plus this place cooks a lot of things I'm very good at cooking at my own house. The menu doesn't excite me. In lieu of going there, Rashan and I tried this hole in the wall and had an awesome breakfast for two for what would have been the price for one of us at the "brunch" place. Win-win!
6) Project Runway All-Stars might have killed the entire show for me. I can't stand the judges. ESPECIALLY THE HOST. And I don't even care who wins anymore.
7) I went to a ladies brunch with the girls from my old program yesterday. It was delightful! More please!
8) Remember how last week I wanted some info? I got some IMMEDIATELY on one of the jobs. It was a no. And I felt and still feel quite zen about it. No New Hampshire? I'm cool with that. I'm making follow-up calls on the other outstanding ones today. Wheeeee!
9) Whenever I blog about being in a horrible sleeping pattern, I sleep better that night. Is it that I need the release? IDK but leggo! (I really think I fixed it by running. I always collapse after races. I'm also amused that I've done enough races to have an "I always" to go with them!)
10) I want to go dancing! Hmmmm! Ooh! I know someone who's always looking for someone to go to salsa with her. Yes! I'm on it!
11) One of my smoking neighbors moved out after just a few months over there. Let's all pray we get new non-smoking quieter neighbors no time soon. Aaaaand go!

Goals: March 2012

I need these goals in my life! I feel so untethered and useless without them! I also need at least three new 30 Before 30 goals. Help! So far I've run over 75 miles this year.  Wow... that sounds crazy! I've been KILLING my book goal. I wanted to read 45. I'm well into my 18th book of the year already! Love it!

Anyway, I've based my March goals on my year goals and my 30 Before 30. Here they are!

1) Cook at least 3 repeat recipes. I already subconsciously remembered I wanted to do this and repeated two more recipes this year than I ordinarily repeat (meaning 3 since I MIGHT repeat one recipe for every 50 I try. No really...). Cauliflower soup was one of them. Rashan called it delightful. Wow! I definitely want to repeat Giada's turkey, sun-dried tomato & feta meatloaf. One of my favorite dishes ever!
2) Run a 10k! I love that I'm doing this! It's also on my 30 Before 30 so WOOT!
3) Attend at least two church services. Bible study counts.
4) Finish transcription for a short.
5) Research and compile information for my professional website.
6) Find somewhere to volunteer.
7) Cook at least 3 Tyler Florence recipes. I want to finish cooking my way through this book!! Some of the recipes are prohibitively expensive but you'd better believe the second things go on sale I'm ON IT!!
8) Write a syllabus.
9) Edit our wedding video.

Monday Mindspacing Vol. 133

1) I stayed up this morning looking for the snow showers we could possibly get. Where are they??? Hmmm??? (I refuse to watch the local news as they prepare for snowmaggedon AKA an inch that won't stick.)
2) I ran with a large group for the first time yesterday... WOW! So cool! Too bad it was a joint effort of two groups in the area who generally run separately. They're too far for me to regularly drive and vice versa. :(
3) I had to break up with my running partner because she wasn't trying to get faster anymore. I felt like I was dragging her to pace every run. So draining. We had a talk about it and agreed to run separately... but she hates running alone so after less than a week I already feel her trying to reunite. And it wasn't a true break because we still see each other for group runs twice a week. We just don't run together the rest of the week. But she still texts me several times a week. I need a break from her. :(
4) I have been on a dessert kick for the last few months. I've never been a sweets person. Even now if you give me a choice between appetizer and dessert, I'm picking appetizer. Salty snack or sweet one, salty, please! But there's been some sort of trigger lately and I'm going NUTS! I bake something at least once a week and it's gone in less than 3 days. We've had brownies, ginger peanut butter cookies & lemon bars in the last three weeks. It's taking everything in me not to go eat the last lemon bar right now.
5) I finally used the electric citrus juicer we got for the wedding and OMG! I love it so much that after I juiced what I needed for the lemon bars, I juiced all of the limes I bought on the spur of the moment. LOL Now I need to figure out what I'm going to do with 1/2 cup of fresh lime juice. Lime bars??? Margaritas??
6) I need a friend trip. I haven't seen most of my closest friends since my wedding. They're all spread out and I miss them!
7) I know a girl who's a historical re-enacter here. I tried on all of her 1800s hats this weekend and wanted every single one!!! Oh how I wish we lived in a time where people still wore hats daily!
8) I'm in the waiting period for most of the jobs I've applied for and I'm so, SO ready to know something. Something like the two I want most also want me the most! Regardless, I know God's preparing me AND my future employer!
9) Is anyone still playing Words with Friends??? I need some more opponents! Jameil1922
10) Rashan reaches for me in his sleep. He pats in my general direction until he finds me, confirms I'm there, then goes back to sleep. How cute is that?!
11) Psst... I ate the last lemon bar...

Movies 2012: Weeks 6-8

I tried to squeeze in a bunch of the Oscar nominees ahead of the awards show last week so you'll see that reflected. Almost caught up with this year's movies! Phew! I still need to watch more docs. I see a doc-filled week in my future.

Week 6: February 5-11, 2012
22) Happy, Happy. A Norwegian film about an absolutely delightful cheerful housewife (Agnes Kittlesen) in a loveless marriage to her high school sweetheart. Things go awry after an encounter with a new urban neighbor. The loose story line felt unfinished and odd toward the end. But I would love to see more from Kittlesen. She was like a Norwegian Audrey Tatou. 3.2 stars
23) Project Nim. A documentary about a chimpanzee raised like a human for a scientific experiment then abandoned. You could tell from the beginning how naive and self-indulgent his handlers were and that this could never work in the long term. A really difficult film to watch and I don't even consider myself an animal activist. I like animals and believe they should be treated ethically but I don't get too crazy about it. The humans were definitely the less sympathetic characters. I enjoyed the aesthetic of the film and the graphics worked very nicely. 3.8 stars
24) Tree of Life. Brad Pitt and Sean Penn star (I mean that loosely as they only sporadically appear) in this film about a man searching for the meaning of life by looking at the childhood of the brother he lost at a young age. Sigh. Indulgent is the best word to describe this. Many other reviewers like the word pretentious. Definitely an art house film. One that people will love to say they loved because of the look and the idea that there is a deep, underlying meaning. Beautifully shot, painfully slow, excruciatingly long. Mayhaps Tree of Death would have been more apt? Metaphorical to the exclusion of dialogue and inclusion of the beginning of time. Pass. I feel so indifferent to this film I don't even know what to rate it. 1.5 stars
25) Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy. Zach Braff and Dean Cain make appearances in this independent film about a group of gay male friends commiserating on love. Amusing. There were even appearances by Andrew Keegan and Nia Long. It was amusing to continually recognize people. 3.5 stars

Week 7: February 12-18, 2012
26) Exporting Raymond. A documentary about the creator of the series "Everybody Loves Raymond" trying to export the hit show to Russia. Of course there are many moments where ideas and some humor are lost in translation. Some are funny, some are drawn out way, way, WAY too long. This entire film would have been much more interesting if it happened in 20 minutes instead of over 90. There wasn't enough new material to prevent it from becoming boring, repetitive and redundant. 2 stars
27) What's Your Number? Anna Farris stars as a woman who figures out the number of men she's slept with and decides she needs to cull her exes to find her husband. So she enlists the help of her cute, promiscuous neighbor. You know exactly where this movie's going before it even begins. That doesn't stop it from being enjoyable at turns. It's also rather unbelievable at times and Rashan found it a bit sexist. (He's great.) 3.3 stars
28) Colombiana. Zoe Saldana stars as an assassin determined to hunt down the men who killed her parents in front of her. Awesome thriller! Ignore the Brits making all kinds of American accent faux pas. Quite enjoyable! 4.5 stars

Week 8: February 19-24, 2012
29) I Don't Know How She Does It. Sarah Jessica Parker stars in this film about a married working mother struggling to juggle it all through a sea of sexism, somewhat inept childcare, judgmental mothers, etc. SJP's character was pretty useless. The best and more interesting characters (played by Olivia Munn and Busy Phillips) were ancillary to the story line. One reviewer mentioned the caricatures created of all of the women in this film. So, so true. And really to the detriment of watchability. Didn't enjoy this film.  2 stars
30) How to Die in Oregon. This documentary follows people considering and fighting for what they call "death with dignity": the ability to choose when you will die. Though it really only shows one side-- those who are wholeheartedly behind the idea of allowing the gravely ill to choose when they die-- it shows that side really powerfully. You see those who are angry, others at peace, sadness, joy. All of the emotions that come with any life-altering decision. Really, really moving film. 5 stars
31) The Loving Story. A documentary about the interracial Virginia couple who fought to remain legally married in their home state. A sweet story told mostly as a compilation of materials (audio/video recordings, photographs) culled from other sources. Because the Lovings were both deceased at the time of the film's creation, there was a distinctive past-tense feel. There were questions I'm sure the filmmaker had, some that were palpable, that will never be answered. There were a few present-day interviews from their daughter, a few friends and the attorneys who handled their case but there was still something missing. It didn't feel like we were getting any new information. 3 stars
32) Urbanized. This design documentary explores aspects of urban living worldwide through dozens of experts in the field. If you're a design or city planning or landscape architecture student, I'm certain you will see or should see this film. If  you're interested in those fields or any like it, you will probably like this film. I found it rather boring. It really seemed to lose its way when it came to Stuttgart, Germany. This bizarre segment was only tangentially related to the rest of the film. 2 stars
33) Another Earth. A teenager becomes obsessed with the idea of a second Earth, in many ways identical to the first. This obsession leads her to cause a fatal accident. She strikes up an unlikely relationship of sorts with the man whose family she killed in the crash. Weird. Rashan enjoyed it moderately. I did not. Things that should have been explained more were left out. Things that did not need further explanation were expounded upon. 2.4 stars
34) Moneyball. Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill star in this Oscar-nominated film about the underdog Oakland A's baseball team. We follow the pair assembling a rag tag band of cheap players to take down some of the richest teams in baseball; teams that should statistically blow them out of the war. I didn't expect to like this movie but I really did! It was fun and dare I say it? Heartwarming. I just said it. 4 stars

Monday Mindspacing Vol. 132

1) I watch way too much tv. The fact that I have what feels like billions of shows drives me batty. I can't add another one until I drop at least one. Maybe 2 or 3.*
2) I've started a list of food-related things I want to do. Some are big, some small, all awesome!
3) When we hit 6 months of marriage, I told Rashan every time he gave me a kiss, he had to give me at least 6. Then 7 kisses for 7 months. (I know. We're disgustingly in love.) Now that we're heading into 8 months (on Thursday!), neither of us knows how this ends... or even transitions to something else. Like at 9 months, do we just do a kiss for every 3 months? At a year for every quarter? #newlywedproblems LOL
4) "Walking Dead" is Ambien for Rashan. (The show does nothing for me.) Every time he watches, he gets instantly sleepy. This also happens when he watches true crime shows. What a psycho.
5) I love watching the Oscars! It's a great excuse to get all fancy! :) I'd show you a picture but blogger hasn't let me upload anything in weeks. Next year we'll be hosting our own party. It shall be marvelous!
6) I tasted star fruit for the first time last night. It was fine. Not bad, not good. I had meatless meatballs, too. Never ever again. I was right when I said I don't believe in stuff like that. Completely right.
7) I'm addicted to running. I think about it all the time. Addicted is maybe the wrong word seeing as I can control myself and manage to run no more than two days in a row... but I love running! I'm doing 7 miles for the first time on Tuesday!! But also thinking of waiting until Wednesday so I can run on Leap Day. I have a strange fascination with Leap Day.
8) Maya Rudolph is funnier to me every time I see her! I love that woman!!
9) I didn't write any goals this month... or get enough accomplished... Back with a vengeance in March!
10) Yo son! The conference room scene on "The Office" last week? One of the BEST scenes in the entire world! HILARIOUS!!! Dot dot dot dot DOT. Tell me you saw it!!!!
11) No grown man should wear boot cut pants or pants with pleats. There is your fashion tip for the day.
12) Last week on twitter I was talking about the snobby palate I had as a child. I hate canned tomato soup. I think it is one of the most disgusting things known to man. I haven't even tried it since I was a 8 or something. Back when I hated all non-ketchup, non-pasta-related tomatoes. I'm going to try to make some fresh tomato soup one of these days and see if I finally like it. I love gazpacho with fresh tomatoes. Let's see how tomato soup fares.
13) "The Sandwich King" is better in season 2. He's more comfortable. But the SET. It makes a huge difference. I know you were wondering. You're welcome. (Let's also hope fewer of his sandwiches take LITERALLY hours. I wish I didn't mean literally. But I do. Made the first season unwatchable.)

*You're more assured of number one after reading this, aren't you? You should be. I justify my food shows by cooking... and writing a syllabus for a food writing class. TYVM.

Movies 2012: Weeks 2-5

I realized I've documented every film I've watched for more than 3 years. More than 1250 films. I calculated. GOOD GRIEF!! No wonder I'm tired!!! So that's where these movie posts have been. I've still been keeping track but even that extra step of posting them has worn me out! I'll be catching up over the next few Sundays. Thanks for reading and commenting! I do so love our conversations about film!

Week 2: January 8-14, 2012
9) Freakonomics. A documentary of vignettes by famous directors based on a best-selling economics/causality book explaining elements of culture including crime, parenting and cheating. It blew my mind in the first 3 minutes with the most basic concept explained- real estate agent incentives. The second segment made me uncomfortable as it was about names, more specifically, black names. Side eye. Overall, I enjoyed that this film took basic concepts and made them even more basic. You got to see an economist showing his work in a way that could make sense for even the most economically-challenged person. I speak from experience. Have I ever told you economics was one of two classes I ever struggled in? I excelled in AP English I & II, History, Statistics (not Physics) but I couldn't get basic, entry level economic concepts to make sense. This was film was also helped along by a multitude of likable people. There have been complaints that no concept was fully explained. How much could really be explained in six separate stories in one movie? Would you watch a movie that strove to fully explain economics? I wouldn't. 4.4 stars
10) Leon: The Professional. A little girl takes lessons from her friendly neighborhood hitman after a drug lord wipes out her family. Amazing film (editing, directing, cinematography) that would have been even better without the hypersexualization of a pre-teen Natalie Portman. The characters really came alive. 4 stars
11) Cave of Forgotten Dreams. Werner Herzog does another beautifully shot but meandering documentary. This time about the stunning and truly riveting Chavet's Cave in France. Discovered in 1994, the caves were immediately sealed from the public and have only been seen by scientists and artists who will verify their worth. The paintings look fresh but have been carbon dated to 32,000 years old. WHAT!?! SO amazing. But 14 minutes in I couldn't figure out why this film was 90 minutes. The cave was amazing, I liked hearing from people who've studied there for years but at the end, I still didn't know why the film was so long. 2.4 stars
12) Rise of the Planet of the Apes. James Franco and Frieda Pinto star in this prequel to Planet of the Apes. Set in modern San Francisco, testing on apes turns into a revolt against humans. Most of the CGI is very good but I wonder what we'll think in 20 years. Can you imagine how awesome it will be then?? Good plot for the most part. Some things invoked my skepticism but not enough to make this film unwatchable. 3.9 stars

Week 3: January 15-21
13) Animal Kingdom. An Australian thriller about a teenager caught between his criminal family and the police. There were so many awesome and unexpected turns in this film that you couldn't ever completely get a handle on what was going to happen. So cool. A great watch. 4.3 stars
14) The First Grader. An 84-year-old Kenyan man who fought for the country's freedom faces stiff opposition when he tries to enroll in primary school. This film based on a true story was really cute at some points and infuriating or annoying in others. I wonder how much was lost in translation and what are the details of the actual story. 3.6 stars
15) The Ides of March. Ryan Gosling stars as the staffer on a presidential campaign who finds himself cleaning up a massive mess by the candidate (George Clooney) and almost simultaneously double-crossed. The mess was were things really started to get interesting. They unraveled so quickly that I was reeling at the end and wondering why it was the end. My goodness! Rashan and I both really enjoyed it. 4 stars

Week 4: January 22-28
16) 50/50. Joseph Gordon Levitt stars as a 27-year-old diagnosed with a rare cancer, his treatment and his best friend (Jonah Hill). An emotional roller coaster. Extremely funny, really sad but well-written, well-acted and well-directed. A truly enjoyable film. 4.4 stars
17) Another Happy Day. Ellen Barkin is a divorcée on the outs when she attends her estranged son's wedding. Demi Moore plays the groom's tarty step mom. A ton of tension created was squandered in the conclusion. Essentially the film had a plot but didn't capitalize on it. 2.5 stars
18) Our Family Wedding. Forest Whitaker and Carlos Mencia find themselves at odds when their children announce their engagement. As they plan a quick wedding, all sorts of things go wrong. Cute enough, predictable film with America Ferrera as the bride. 3.4 stars
19) Dive!: Living Off America's Waste. A documentary centered around man feeding his family well from dumpster diving. It was pretty repetitive even in the first 10 minutes. Like the first time I read about dumpster diving as a kid, it did make me want to go find some free fancy stuff. (But I'm squeamish.) It was only 52 minutes but I still wanted it to be shorter. 27? 20? I got the gist of the story quite early. What was the point of having shots of "starving" African and Haitian children and Haitian mud cakes? That's not even really the point of this particular story. Way, WAY too many stereotypical black and minority faces of poverty. Terrible. There were also waaaaaay too many stats. From reading the reviews, I see a lot of people learned there are poor, hungry children in America. (Seriously.) So I guess the film did some good. I just wonder when we'll reach our saturation point with food documentaries telling us the same thing. 2.4 stars
20) Hell and Back Again. This 2012 Academy Award nominee for best documentary follows the readjustment period for a wounded Marine who finds himself lost and suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder when he's back in the states. Difficult to watch, the director and editor skillfully weaves the Marine's time in Afghanistan with his time in recovery and the effect of those disparate and interconnected experiences on him and his wife. He was a frustrating, sympathetic and irritating character in one, not terribly likable though still watchable. It did confirm my feelings about war in general as an unnecessary evil that ruins lives but that was not new. 3.7 stars

Week 5: January 29- February 4, 2012
21) Crisis. Cary Grant stars as a surgeon forced to operate on a dictator's brain tumor during a brewing uprising. The film started off decently then got quite sloppy and completely and irrevocably deteriorated in Act III. If you, like myself, are a Cary Grant fan, maybe you should watch it. Otherwise, you're not missing much. 2.9 stars

I'm A Smoker

I'm not really a smoker but apparently I play one in my home. Remember when I first moved into this apartment a year and a half ago and constantly complained about the smell of smoke? SOMEBODY (I really don't even remember for certain who it was) acted like it was no big deal. So I never really talked about it again. But today I'm going to reclaim my blog to talk about whatever the HECK I want. Yeah. I said HECK.

I walked out of our bedroom this morning and was slapped in the face with the smell of SOMEONE ELSE'S SMOKE. Can you imagine what it's like to have your HOME to smell through no fault of your own??? I HAAAAATE cigarettes. I will tolerate people who smoke just about anything else (minus crack) but cigarettes??? Hate 'em. I live in an former single-family home comprised of three apartments. We all have separate entrances and share no facilities. But we share walls. When I first moved in, I discovered BOTH of my immediate neighbors are smokers. I discovered this at the same time I discovered different brands of cigarettes have different scents. Something I never wanted to know... Anyway a few months ago, one of the neighbors moved out. Woohoo! Can we please get a non-smoking neighbor????

HAHAHAHAHA!! This is the city that RJ Reynolds built. It is called Winston-Salem after TWO BRANDS OF CIGARETTES.

I LITERALLY LIVE IN CIGARETTE CITY.

So if you haven't guessed, new neighbors smoke, too. Wonderful. And it smells like a third brand. There are many nuisances to living next to these people. The greatest nuisance is obviously the smell. There are days when the scent is so fresh that it smells like someone is smoking a cigarette in my living room. I'm not kidding. I WISH I WAS KIDDING. We have to leave the windows open all year long. It's wonderful that utilities are included because our energy bill would be sky high. The smell of cigarettes lingers. Apparently for all eternity when there are constant refreshers to the odor. I don't really notice it on my clothing until I go somewhere cigarette-free for a few days. I always sniff around when I leave like what is that smell??? It's ME!!! All of my clothes have eau de cigarette. It doesn't smell like I smoke per se. It just smells like I live with someone who smokes in the house. WHY DON'T I JUST START SMOKING??? At least then it will be my own fault! And returning home after the windows have been closed for several days??? DISGUSTING!!!! I hate this place. Right now I have both windows and the front door open trying to air it out. I look forward to the day God delivers us from this den of iniquity. I know it's coming.

Safe! And Stream of Consciousness...

We made it through Valentine's Day just fine! And it was even better because we had some free Krispy Kreme via his job. What what?! In case you forgot, Dunkin Donuts, bad. Krispy Kreme, AWESOME!! To live in the birthplace of the best doughnuts, there are surprisingly (and disappointingly) few KKs here.

Do two doughnuts the night before a run count toward carb loading? Because they should. And if they do, then I'm ready to run 6 miles later today! Woohoo! I need some LMFAO on my running playlist! Crunk music gets me moving! Team Jameil have a great run!!

Did you see Lady Gaga's face mesh at the Grammy's Sunday? I LOVED IT! I want some. It's not that far from veils on a hat and we all know I love me some veils! So I'm definitely gonna need some face mesh for the Oscar party I better be invited to next month.

I went to a documentary lecture yesterday and it was such a breath of fresh air. MAN I need to be using my brain more. I'm so bored at home. Reading, cooking and watching movies isn't enough for me.

On Demand has some of the most horrible Black History Month programming I have ever seen in my life. Since when does being black automatically qualify you as a black history moment? Raunchy comedy show performances? Black chefs cooking? BHM fail, On Demand. Please go back and research the intent behind the month. UPLIFT and AWARENESS of our contributions to society.

Did you see Mariah Carey on the BET Honors? I LOVE HER!! She is theeeee best! I sure do listen to her Christmas music out of season. And so what? LOL

I was supposed to make Valentine's day cards from scratch this year. Oops. Didn't quite make it.

Why am I awake all night again? Tyler no likey.

A Season of Loss

I will never meet my father-in-law. Ricky died of a drug overdose in 1995. 13 years before I would meet his son. The man who became my husband. But Ricky's February 14th birth is the reason Rashan and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day in February. I love all holidays. Real and imaginary. But it's the one day of the year that most reminds him of his father. I tried to force it for a couple of years until Rashan blogged about it. I felt awful. So last year we moved the day. And for the first time in years, Rashan was fine on Valentine's Day.

But this year... this year Whitney Houston died. After years of a very public battle with drugs. We both get this very stricken look when people die after struggling with addiction. I'm pained in part because I know it pains him. But also because the last two very public deaths hit me so hard in my limited musical adoration. I used to consider myself a person who loved music until I met people who REALLY loved music-- namely Rashan and my BFF Stace. Those two can wax poetically about music and producers and influence until long after my eyes glaze (which admittedly usually happens in the first 5 minutes). I never know anyone they're talking about it and really don't care. I can sit in complete silence for hours and feel perfectly fine. Happy even. They both need music to fill that void.

There are some notable exceptions. 112, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston & Amy Winehouse. I listen to all of those artists as my fall backs. When I'm getting ready to go out, riding in the car, relaxing, whatever. One of those 4 is likely to be in the rotation. When Amy died, I was utterly stunned. And once again disgusted by how blithely people dismissed her and her addiction. EVERYONE has the capacity for overcoming those drugs just as they can succumb, though the former is maddeningly more difficult than the latter. I never give up hope that people will find and fight their way from addiction's grip.

I rarely talk about my aunt and uncle, drug addicted for decades, who continue to hang on. Yes. Decades. Rashan said before I told him about them, he didn't know people could live that long on addiction. And even without many of the health problems that plague the rest of their siblings. We didn't think about Whitney. I don't talk about my aunt and uncle because most of the time I try not to think about them. The fact that they've thrown their lives away behind addiction. That they have children who cannot or will not talk to them. That they have grandchildren who at this rate will never know them even though they are still technically alive. Stranger still is the fact that we know where they are. Living in squalor in the house where they grew up. When Rashan and I went to Rowland, we drove past the house that I hadn't seen in well over a decade and didn't even recognize. My dad told me to stop by and say hello. I couldn't. I was scared of what I would find and who I would find. My aunt comes around every few years but I haven't seen my uncle in over a decade. I also couldn't see them because Rashan couldn't see them. Couldn't see another reminder of drug abuse. And I certainly couldn't face them alone.

At Amy's death, I fell back on my mom's favorite words for these types of situations, "What a waste." WHAT A WASTE!!! That beautiful, BEAUTIFUL voice forever silenced. I tried to begin the healing by playing Back to Black. Hands down one of my favorite albums. I listened and sang along to every track. I even threw a little Frank in there. But I had to stop because it was making Rashan sad. It made me sad to end the tribute. But I can't imagine his pain so I do my best not to exacerbate it.

My heart filled with dread yesterday as I read reputable news outlets confirming Whitney's death. Why????  Such a waste! I thought of Bobby and Bobbi and Cissy. Now another father, daughter and mother have to experience the pain of that loss. The pain of what could have been and what never will be. Now that Rashan's asleep, I can't stop crying. For them, for her, for Rashan, for me, for our children. It hit me again, just like it does almost every time I think of addiction or Ricky, that our children will never know their grandfather. Rashan said, with the saddest look on his face, "Why today? Why did she have to die two days before...?" He didn't have to finish. It was already on my mind.

Ricky was also there on our wedding day. Rashan said Ricky didn't cross his mind. But he crossed mine. My dad was there and it made me a little sad that Rashan's dad wasn't. I wasn't consumed with it. But I took a moment to think about him and hope he was at peace. And hope that Rashan was okay knowing Ricky wouldn't be there. I was sad all over again that I'll never meet him. Never know him beyond stories. Even what Rashan knew of him is limited because of how early the addiction began. Ricky was a sporadic at best part of their lives by the time Rashan turned 9.

With Whitney's death, I had an immediate urge to listen to her greatest hits. My mom, sister and I used to sing along with the "Waiting to Exhale" soundtrack like it was the last album on earth. We loved that thing! Remember when soundtrack releases could be more exciting than the movies? Whitney's cd of the national anthem and "America the Beautiful" were also in heavy rotation. We could listen to them over and over again. Those songs were forever transformed for me. I thought of her renditions while watching the Super Bowl last Sunday. For me with those songs, NO ONE matches Whitney! And I'd just been listening to the soundtrack of "The Preacher's Wife" thinking, "I need to watch that movie again!" I also loved Maya Rudolph's Whitney impression. Loved it! So as silly as it is, I mourned the loss of any joy in that for a while. When I saw Maya will be hosting SNL next week, the loss of Whitney hurt again.

The pall was heavy in our house with thoughts of lives ended so soon because of drugs. I was cooking dinner. Rashan was watching tv. But both of us had these dark thoughts that remained mostly unexpressed. I didn't want to add to those things weighing him down. This time with all of the memories of Whitney-filled times and songs playing on a loop in my head, I showed restraint. I didn't listen to a single Whitney song. I didn't watch endless (annoying) speculation and chatter on news channels. I even stayed away from twitter and facebook because the group grief was just too much. But now I need an outlet. I need Whitney's music. I need to remember her as the vibrant, talented woman, filled with promise who provided so many songs on the soundtrack of our lives. I DON'T WANT THIS. I don't want these feelings of hurt, sorrow, grief and loss. I don't want this fist of feelings wrapped around my heart. And the fact that it will all resurface with the next light extinguished after a battle with drugs is almost too much. But this is our life. For better or for worse. These next few days may be difficult. If you pray, pray for us.

Monday Mindspacing Vol. 131

1) I like watching butter melt. I think it looks cool. Too bad I'm only using butter for baking now. Womp womp.
2) I had a FANTASTIC run yesterday! I felt magical during my four miles! I'm running 6.2 (10k) on Tuesday! I also read some things about shaking up your training that I'm excited to try out!
3) I ruined my sleep pattern again when Rashan was off two weeks ago. Oops. The 8 books I read last month are also to blame. I read several of them in one day. I was sleepy but so far in that I was like I should just read these last 100 pages. It's so good! 50 pages more isn't bad. Keep going. For shame.
4) I have at least 6 posts I need to do, several related to my 30 before 30 and other goals. -_- This is the longest blog slump I've ever had in 6.5 years of blogging. Sheesh that's a long time. My mouth dropped open after I calculated it.
5) I'm trying new produce and I really want somebody to tell me how to get into this knobby thing labeled an "African yam" at the grocery store. AND tell me how to cook it.
6) I started a free online foreign language program (Mango) via my library on Friday. Two lessons in and I'm already ready to impress the workers at my favorite produce purveyor. Estoy bien, gracias. Y tu? J/k. LOLOL I know about 2 phrases more than I knew before. (And I already knew that one.) But I understand some things I never did. I took Spanish 3-6 grades. French in 10-12th. I'm starting with Spanish, then French, Italian, Urdu (one of my good friends is Pakistani), Portuguese and Arabic.
7) I'm doing the February photo challenge but I haven't figured out where or when I'm posting them yet. I'm enjoying y'all's photos, though.
8) Some days I'm very zen about everything. Other days I'm impatient about taking over the world. Today is a zen day. Om.
9) Speaking of om. I'm terrible at yoga. I know that shouldn't be but the quietude makes me nuts. And it's so sloooow. And I'm a competitive person and have to constantly remind myself yoga is supposed to be the opposite of competition. I don't have to be able to hold the same pose as the teacher. Duh. It's a very annoying experience. And yet some of the stretches feel so great that I keep going back.
10) I don't want to be one of those people but I'm about 5 minutes from shutting facebook down. It just annoys me more than anything else most days. There are a couple of people (and my eye roll of a running group) that I'm ONLY connected to via facebook who are the sole reason I keep the account.

28 Days

A few weeks ago my running partner asked me to join a healthy eating program at WholeFoods. I did some marginal research and saw I'd learn about reading food labels and eating a plant-based diet. Sounded great to me! I'm always looking for new recipes and ideas on incorporating more vegetables into my diet. I should have done more research before I agreed. After I tell my running partner I signed up, she casually mentions it's a meatless diet. Say whaaaa??? I have no desire to give up meat. Eat less? Sure. Completely abstain from chicken, chicken stock, fish, bacon and EGGS? I'm all good on that. Come to find out, it's a rather stringent 28-day program.

Week One: No dairy, no processed foods (I take this to mean white flour/sugar)
Week Two: Same + No meat, fish, eggs
Weeks Three & Four: Same + No oils

I love cheese and milk with my cereal but it doesn't really love me so the idea of limiting my dairy intake had already been floating in my head. I also liked the idea of limiting white flour and sugar. Pork is increasingly distasteful to me so that wasn't much of a problem. The point where they COMPLETELY lost me was giving up oils. The reasoning? They're empty calories. I run 10+ miles every week. I'm pretty sure I can withstand a few extra calories. Especially if I'm eating all/mostly plants and whole grains.

One of the things my mom did all the way right was teach me to avoid diets. Her advice: Change your lifestyle rather than doing something extreme for a few weeks or months. I decided to give this plan a try anyway because I'd already said I was going to and for the other aforementioned reasons. I'm 12 days in so let's start with the positive things I've discovered:

1. I love almond milk! I am all in for substituting it in baking (where possible), oatmeal, my rare coffee, cereal. This is one of the great joys of this process for me! It would've taken a lot for me to buy an entire carton of almond milk in case I didn't like it. Now I had an excuse. I also found I like the Harris Teeter store brand but not the Whole Foods store brand. I re-tried soy milk. Still don't like that. Sweetened oat milk? AWESOME! But has a crazy amount of sugar which kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it? Hemp milk tastes like cardboard. It's almost grainy. BIZARRE. The WF almond, oat & hemp I tasted for free in store.
2. Eggs are just as delicious with olive oil as with butter. I've ALWAYS cooked my eggs in butter because the times I had it cooked in oil, it seemed to be lacking in flavor. In retrospect, I think it was usually cooked in canola oil. Why? Just wrong. A dash (and really the scantest amount is enough) of olive oil in a non-stick skillet is enough to make my eggs a delight. Butter, you're out!
3. Grilled veggie burritos are DELICIOUS! I really didn't miss the meat! (But the fact that it's only 60 cents cheaper than the meat burrito? That's a fail.)
4. Eating fruit is so much easier when you are eating eliminating all that other stuff. In the last two weeks, I know I've had more fruit than in a shamefully long time.

I'm so glad to incorporate all of these things into my life! I love the positives! So much that I'm trying to be less effusive about the negatives... but for me, they're pretty big negatives.

1. I'm starving. Not literally but I'm really, REALLY hungry, really, REALLY often. I don't stay full enough long enough. And yes, I've incorporated more fiber (oatmeal, whole grains, quinoa, barley, etc.) and still my hunger is OFF THE CHARTS!!
2. I have NO desire to eat fake meat. You know "bacon" and "chix" which are made of soy/tofu or seitan or tempeh. If you call it what it is, maybe I'll eat it. But when you give it a name like an actual meat product? Automatic turn off. If I need to taste meat that badly, there's a simple solution: I'll just eat meat.
3. It is woefully difficult to find appealing vegan recipes. I know they exist. I have found some but there is so much WADING through things that are too basic, not filling or that look like a collection of side dishes, soups, stews, curries and salads. The plan's own list of recipes was a huge letdown. I'm looking for things that expand my cooking repertoire, not just remove the meat and/or add tofu. 
4. Vegetarian recipes are almost no help since so many (way too many, really) of them rely heavily on cheese. In most cases, if recipes use feta, blue or goat cheese, a lot of the dish's flavor resides in the cheese. I love cheese but it seems lazy to add it to things just to say you ate a vegetarian meal. I'm talking to you, food site that had MAC & CHEESE as a meatless monday meal. Again, if you want meat, just eat it. Come on, people. Mac & cheese as meatless monday is a cop out. And a side dish. I know that's a cultural thing but mac and cheese is a side dish.
5. There are too few easy fast food/restaurant meal options, particularly in this city. When I don't feel like cooking, it is VERY difficult to find even varied vegetarian options. Remove cheese from the equation (+ my disdain for raw onions and winter tomatoes) and I'm so straight on buying a salad with lettuce, carrots and dressing. Let me just go get a piece of fruit. And then another one an hour later...
6. Speaking of which, this isn't the plan's fault but I still hate apples as a snack. With most fruit, I eat it and I'm good for a while. I eat an apple and I'm not satiated, not hungry but RAVENOUS within an hour of eating apples. Like I might as well start cooking while I'm eating the apple if that's my snack. Because I'm going to be ready to eat a (meatless) horse in 5, 4, 3, 2...
7. Shopping is incredibly time-consuming what with all the label-reading. Milk is in the weirdest places. Why is there milk in certain wheat breads? Only certain ones? It's bread. And a healthy bread. You don't need milk.
8. There is only one vitamin you can only get from meat. B12... Which is essential for brain function. You can take a supplement, though. Pass. I like my brain functioning without having to supplement with a pill.
9. It's making Rashan miserable. He doesn't want to tempt me by eating things I can't eat (no matter what I say) so he just mopes around the house when he's hungry.
10. I'm probably not supposed to binge on the things I'm giving up the following week. You should've seen my meat and dairy binge preceding week one. I ate more milk and dairy than I ordinarily would. I also rarely eat dessert & suddenly became obsessed with it when thinking about all the dairy and eggs in my favorites. I never save bacon grease but I cooked Rashan some bacon last night (and actually didn't even want any!!) then wanted to fry something up in the bacon grease just because it was there. Ma'am...

I'm sure there are many, many, MANY things I don't know and haven't tried with this lifestyle. But I know one thing... I normally eat 5-10 eggs per week and after almost a week egg-free, those two eggs I ate as I wrote this post were FANTASTIC!! BABY, I'M BACK! Oh I know something else. I can definitely eat less meat. Most of the time I actually like the challenge of deciding what to eat when I'm not eating meat. But for me, this process became way too stressful and way, WAY too restrictive. Like everything else I do, I'll take what I need and leave the rest. I want to enjoy my every meal and I'm going to work hard to make that happen with and without meat. But on my own terms.

Get Your Guns!

My mom lives in the suburbs of Charlotte. In the 25 years that she's been there, literally thousands of people have moved within 5 miles. I wouldn't be surprised if it was near 10,000 with the number of housing developments that have popped up. It's only 20 minutes from downtown and I can see the skyline from the entrance to the neighborhood on a clear day. But her house is also less than two miles from the next county over... a very rural county. I felt pretty cool running over the county line on my first ever 5.5-mile run yesterday! ... But not for long.

To recap, near the country, but definitely a large suburb of the city. So you might understand why I'd be a LEEEETLE bit upset when I'm on my run and a kid on a bike rides past me toting a package. He's no more than 12 and what do I see when I take a closer look? The butt of a rifle peeking out from under his arm.

WHAT?! 

It's 5 o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon and this unsupervised kid is riding around with a rifle under his arm!! I was shook. There was a constant stream of traffic on this well-traveled road AND yet... he could probably get away if he decided to turn around and get in a little target practice on the runner... you know... ME. But why was twitter COMPLETELY unfazed when I related this yesterday? I got ZERO responses. I hate all of them. Get mad, everybody! I theoretically almost died! (This wouldn't have been a problem if I could be more like the rest of the women in my state.)

You're It!

I used to hate tags about 4 years ago when I had blog relationships with at least two dozen people and got the same tags over and over again. But with my shrunken blog family (some people only see fit to blog monthly... *couSHABOOGIEgh*), I guess I'm ready to play again. I'm supposed to tell 11 random things about myself (I think because I don't share enough randomness LOL), answer 11 questions and ask 11 more. Answer those 11 on your blog or in the comments. These are from Nerd Girl. Now let's party!

1) I love ear muffs. Still. They're cute, they never mess up my hair & they keep my ears warm.
2) Stretching has become one of my favorite activities now that I'm a running machine. It feels grrrreat!
3) I love dancing. Line dancing, salsa, cha cha, Just Dance, aerobics class, Zumba. In my house, at the grocery store, at the club, at your wedding, my momma's house, your momma's house. Doesn't matter. Just gimme a beat. Oh and I'm good at it.
4) I told Rashan if I won tickets to the Super Bowl and the Falcons are there, I would leave him at home. I can't have him seeing his team there in person and I might never see mine (the Panthers). He claims this might be grounds for a divorce. *shrugs*
5) I leave Christmas lights up inside my house because I just can't let it go. I plug them in when I need a boost.
6) I'm going dairy-free, meat & egg-free & processed food-free for 28 days starting this past Monday. This week is just dairy and processed food-free. Everyone say a prayer for my continued sanity. Yes, this is self-inflicted. Details forthcoming.
7) I have four kinds of salt (table, sea, black lava, fleur de sel) and six kinds of pepper (black (whole & ground), pink, crushed red, white, chili, cayenne). I will be using the fleur de sel and pink peppercorns in the next month. CAN'T WAIT!!
8) I have never disliked a news anchor/reporter so much that I couldn't watch him/her deliver the news. Even the ones I knew in my old life as a journalist. Until now. There is a guy here I HATE!! He says the dumbest things. Whether he wrote them or not, he says them. It's almost worse if he didn't write them. No. Wait. It IS worse. I refuse to watch him.
9) I love getting pedicures but hate getting manicures. The nail techs ALWAYS mess up my nail shape no matter what I tell them.
10) I went on a free sample spree a few months ago and for a while I was getting something almost every day. I'm in a dry spell now and looking longingly at my mailbox.
11) I have stacks of books all over the living room that prompt others to offer me bookshelves. But I secretly like the way they look all stacked around. It makes me feel like my life is full of reading. Oh! It is again. :)

1.  Is there anything you’ll eat one way, but not another? 
Very similar to NG, I'm extremely tomato picky. I don't eat fresh tomatoes out of season. Summer only. I love most tomato products (sauce, KETCHUP!!, salsa) but HATE tomato soup & juice. Canned, fire-roasted, diced tomatoes are well-loved in my kitchen! Love raw carrots, hate them cooked.
2.  Where’s your favorite vacation spot?
Anywhere warm with a beautiful (preferably relatively uncrowded) beach.
3.  What 5 things would you grab if your home were about to be destroyed?
Phone/charger, degrees, fave pumps, a Le Creuset, my hat collection. Yes I know these all sound ridiculous.
4.  What are you listening to right now?
The dishwasher. I like quietude when I'm reading/writing blogs.
5.  What’s the most you’d spend on a purse?
At this point 0. Within the next year, probably $200.
6.  Do you think we’d get along in real life? Yes! You're the best!
7.  Do you have a monthly clothing budget? Nope. Not right now.
8.  What do you do when you’re bored?
Tweet, play Words with Friends, tweet, watch tv/movies, bother Rashan, read.
9.  What surprises you most about being an adult?  
That I'm married and it's quickly become pretty normal. And definitely that I feel like the same person that I did as a not quite adult and that I don't necessarily always like an adult.
10.  Do you love your hairstyle? Sometimes. I'm impressed by the length!
11.  Who’s your favorite Golden Girl?
I guess Sophia if I have to pick one. Surly amuses me on tv... and often in life.

Now here's a mix of her questions, Inner Diva's questions and mine. You may notice a slight food bias...
1)  Is there anything you’ll eat one way, but not another? 
2) What food do you absolutely refuse to eat and is there anything that can change your mind? Like if your favorite chef EVER prepared it, would you eat it?
3) Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
4) Where’s your favorite vacation spot?
5) How did you decide to live where you live right now?
6) What's the riskiest thing you've ever done?
7) If money was no object and all your bills were paid indefinitely, how would you spend the next year?
8) Do you like your family?
9) What's your favorite drink?
10) What's one thing you can eat and eat and never get tired of?
11) Is there a smell that instantly reminds you of something or someone else?

Encounters of the Masculine Kind

In the last two weeks, I must have been wearing eau de 'how you doin' as I conquered the city. All kinds of riff raff saw fit to approach me. I think these things happen mostly to give me something to blog about.

A. Man Reeking of Alcohol at 3 in the Afternoon: (Looks me up and down) Unh! How you doin?
 Me: Fine. (To clerk) Pump 2, please.
 MRoAa3itA: I'll get it if you let me take you to dinner tonight.
 Me: Nah. My husband won't like that.
 MRoAa3itA: Aw man. All the good ones are taken.
 Me: Yeah I guess so.
 MRoAa3itA: Nah! I don't believe that!
 Me: (Silence.)

B. Me: (Minding my own business sitting in my car waiting at the light with the window down enjoying the nice weather.)
 Dude: (LAYING ON HORN) AAAAAAAAAAAY!
 Me: (Horrid face.)

C. Toothless Elderly Man: (Looking pleased in my direction) Hey sweetheart!
Me: (Warily) Hi.
TEM: I think I love you.
Me: (Panicking letting my words come before I think them) No thank you.
TEM: No thank you?
Me: (As we pass each other) You can't love me! You don't even know me!
TEM: Says yo mouth!
Me: (Raucous laughter)

Why does a man 30 years older than all of you have the best approach? I know part of it is more practice but just FYI, laying on your horn and yelling out of your window and looking someone up and down making guttural noises aren't attractive means of communication. I thought we knew this already. You know what I'm gonna say, right? Do better.

#29: Watch AFI's Top 100 Films

The American Film Institute has this list... 100 best films. As a filmmaker, I felt like this list included a bunch of stuff I should have seen (probably a long time ago). I also included this goal on my 30 Before 30 list because Rashan had seen everything on the list. It was not a goal I looked forward to completing. Part of that is my problem stems with my impatience with long films. If it's a comedy, it needs to be 90 minutes or less. If it's a drama, it needs to have a wonderfully fleshed-out plot for me to tolerate more than 2 hours.

I found some films I really, really liked and others I just found passable. I was surprised to learn how much I can appreciate a good western! I hated them growing up because it was all my dad would ever watch. That and Star Trek. Wait. And This Old House. And tennis. Okay that's enough. Then of course there were the ones I didn't like at all. Some of them will make you gasp. Dun dun dun... I warn you, I won't sound remotely like a filmmaker. Anything intelligent I had to say about these has already happened and may happen again but not today!

Likes
1) The Godfather. I avoided this one for YEARS. Turns out I really, really liked it!
2) Gone with the Wind. As a Southerner, this one was on my radar my entire life. I'd seen pieces but never the whole thing. You know the length is what got me. I liked it so much I watched it in one sitting!
3) It's a Wonderful Life. I don't know why my mom hates this movie. I'd seen bits and pieces growing up but never saw the whole thing until this past Christmas! I really enjoyed it!
4) Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. I don't really like Jimmy Stewart. I think he's corny. But these two movies tried to make me a convert!
5) To Kill A Mockingbird.  So cute and sweet. I liked the book, I liked the movie.

6) One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. I liked this film so much I need to watch it again.
7) Everything Hitchcock. I love that man.
8) Bonnie and Clyde. PAUL NEWMAN!!!! Faye was pretty awesome, too.
9) The Silence of the Lambs, Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid, The Shawshank Redemption. All 5 stars.
10) Bringing Up Baby. My favorite dead guy Cary Grant & Katharine Hepburn? Yes, please!

Dislikes
1) Casablanca. I KNOW!! I'm lucky Rashan married me for this one. I didn't get the hype at all. And I really hated that he said 'Here's lookin at you, kid' 7,000 times. Blech.
2) Citizen Kane. Eye roll again. I know as a recovering journalist I'm supposed to love this but I didn't. Not even a little bit. I wasn't into the story from the outset.
3) Goodfellas, Easy Rider, The Wild Bunch, Sullivan's Travels, Nashville, Intolerance.
4) A Clockwork Orange. One star. I hated this one most of all. Hated it.

Overall, I gave 67% of the films 4 or 5 out of 5 stars. Just 12 got one or two stars (meaning I would not want to watch them again). I think that's a great ratio considering the skepticism with which I approached this list! Goal complete!

Monday Mindspacing Vol. 130

1) I've decided I'm going to start finding fun free stuff for Rashan and I to do every week. We might not get to it all but at least we'll get to some. We chill at home a lot but I'm ready to go conquer the world together!

2) I'm going to stop trying to make fetch happen. I tried two different plans on my Bible app and neither one worked for me. I'm still trying to decide whether I'll use the Bible on my phone. I kind of like that. Even though it looks like I'm texting in church. LOL

3) I was in an AWFUL sleeping pattern for months. I would fall asleep around 11, wake up at 2 and not sleep again until between 8 and 10 in the morning at the worst and 5 and 6 a.m. at the best. I'd wake up at 3 p.m. and still not feel rested. I often woke up several times during the night and couldn't go back to sleep. Then I worked out five days last week and my body demanded rest. Even when I woke up I could GO BACK TO SLEEP!! This has been true for the last 4 days and I feel AMAZING! Now I just need to not wake up at 8 a.m. and life will be much better.

4) It must have been some GOOOOD sleep because I woke up with sore right ribs Friday morning and they haven't stopped aching yet. Do better, ribs.

5) I wish I still liked ribs. The food. Pork is almost dead to me. We're down to bacon and sausage. And when chicken sausage is cheaper, I buy that. But I don't believe in non-pork bacon. It is an abomination before God and man and should be banned from the earth. It was written...

6) I was supposed to make oatmeal butternut scotch cookies this weekend. Then our neighbor brought us delicious banana nut muffins. Desire gone! Oops... Maybe today.

7) I have turned a corner in this job application process after getting another rejection and realizing several things.
   A. I am amazingly blessed to be able to stay at home while I find a wonderful job for me. It took me too long to realize this but I'm holding on to it while I have it.
   B. I am in a season of preparation. I must use my time wisely. I know I'm meant to learn and grow from this experience. Look at me getting all zen on you.

8) I really try to keep in touch with my grandma more but she's so depressing and/or negative some days that it can really be hard to talk to her.

9) Speaking of negativity, my twitter and facebook timelines are doing the most. Facebook is about 10 minutes from going the way of MySpace. I'm not willing to give it up completely yet but I interact on there less and less. I'm basically down to food and running. I stopped regularly posting pics unrelated to those two things months ago.

10) I'm about to completely dump my running group. Ironically, because it's not meshing with my running goals. That's so beyond not the point, right?? Crazy.

Movies 2012: Week 1

I'm well on my way to watching more documentaries this year than last year! I didn't actually go back and count but if I can maintain a 50/50 ratio, even at times above that on the documentary side. This was a great start to the year!

January 1-7, 2012
1) Winnebago Man. Documentary about this man who loses his entire mind on a commercial shoot for Winnebago. It's just as much about the filmmaker who's obsessed with the video. I was instantly exasperated by the Winnebago Man's prolific, over-the-top profanity and the filmmaker's insertion of himself into the story. With the filmmaker's participation in this film, it really should have been called Winnebago Man and Boy or something. For the amount of build-up to finding Winnebago Man, there had to be the ultimate pay-off. I think there was. I also think there are interesting ethical conundrums inherent in this film. (The idea of viral video victims setting the record straight; knowing when you're getting the real person while making a film; establishing your importance or worth in a film as the filmmaker? How could you tell this story without including yourself?) From the way it began, I was actually quite surprised to enjoy this film. But I did! 3.9 stars
2) Micki & Maude. A man finds out his ambitious wife (Ann Reinking from Annie!) and his secret mistress are both pregnant. It's shocking how long this charade went on. SHOCKING! I shook my head throughout but somehow still enjoyed it. 3.7 stars
3) The Opposite of Sex. Christina Ricci stars as a homewrecking trollop who moves in with her brother and seduces his boyfriend. So crazy. Lisa Kudrow has the most awesome and jerky personality! She's the best character! Amusing film and certainly not without twists. Really ridiculous ineffective music. 3.6 stars
4) Letters to Juliet. Amanda Seyfried plays an American girl who finds and answers a decades old letter to Juliet (improbable, I know but if you saw how it happened, you'd be even more skeptical). When her response leads to meeting the original letter's author, she joins the woman and her grandson on the search for a long lost love. It started off rather interesting and had interesting moments throughout but silly, unnecessary things kept happening to remove some of that interest. 3.2 stars
5) Gimme Shelter. The Maysles direct this Rolling Stones concert film that accidentally captures footage of a murder in progress. Pretty amazing documentary. It captures the freewheeling, frenzied and chaotic atmosphere of the concert before and during the murder. I feel like I could watch this dozens of times and still see something new every time. It certainly doesn't hurt that the music was great, too. 4 stars
6) The Other Woman. Wow. Natalie Portman stars as a woman who wins the affection of the one she loves only to find out that affection comes with a lot of baggage. The movie is so much deeper than that description but the ambiguity in the explanation is what makes the unveiling more powerful. I had never expected to feel a sympathy or affection for 'the other woman' but I most definitely did. Really beautiful film. 5 stars
7) Picture Me. A filmmaker follows his girlfriend on her rise to model superstardom. While it was interesting to hear some things from models, if you've been keeping up with stories in fashion, for the most part, it didn't break any new ground. The insecurity was disconcertingly bizarre. It was also pretty creepy how old these girls looked. A 16-year-old could easily pass for a 25-year-old. Even 30.
8) Love and Other Drugs. Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway star as a drug rep and his early-onset Parkinsons-suffering sleep around buddy who go through all sorts of ups and downs together as they try to figure out life. Mostly amusing but harmless. Remember Vonda Shepard of Ally McBeal fame? Someone reprised her constant moans over music and under dialogue throughout this film to annoying heights. 3 stars

2012 Goals

You guys know I LOVE goals! I live a much more ordered life when I'm setting and achieving goals! This year I turn 30!!! Wow! I remember when 30 seemed old. LOL It's so funny how your perspective changes. I've put my goals into categories to make them a little more manageable.

Culinary

1. Try some old recipes again. I cook several times a week. Almost always new recipes. Sometimes even when I'm making a sandwich. I need some standbys. I'm going to try to find some this year.
2. Re-vamp my food blog. The Record Dish is so far from where it started for me that it might be time to move. Get a fresh start.

Fitness

1. Run 750 miles, a 10k and a half marathon. That's about 14.5 miles every week. At the beginning I won't be there (this week will have about 9) but at the end I'll be beyond that... sometimes in a single run. WOW! I'm so excited about where I'll be this time next year!
2. Work out 3-5 times every week. Already on number 4 this week today!

Life & Career

1. Read 45 books. Since I'll be working a lot more this year than last year (claiming it), I'm only upping this goal to 45. I read 50 last year. I'll be cramming as many books as possible into the first half of the year. Now reading 3 books.
2. Make a real effort to find a church. I didn't attend a single one locally in 2011. Wow. I know my spiritual growth is stagnating without a church.
3. Use my time more wisely. That means creating a plan for my days and executing it. I have to have a plan and deadlines to get films created, books read and syllabi written.
4. Buy a camera and a new desktop computer. If I'm going to make more documentaries, I need the equipment to move it on forward!
5. Complete my professional website. Domain name purchased, waiting on the design.
6. Change my name. I've made a decision and I'm ready.
7. Volunteer. I've always wanted to be a baby cuddler at a hospital.
8. Complete at least 10 more 30 before 30 goals. I've done 11 so that will bring me to at least 22. I've had to revise my list to more accurately reflect my current lifestyle. Most of those goals aren't gone forever, though! Look for them on either 35 before 35 or 40 before 40. (LOL)

Career & Money

1. Budget our spending to make room for more things we like to do. And of course, we need to build our savings.
2. Save $1,500 on our grocery bill this year. We were at about $900 w/o even really trying the first 7 months of the year! Part of this savings will require me not wasting money on food that doesn't get eaten. I really hate that.
3. Get a magnificent job. I'm not sure if this will be filmmaking, teaching, a combination or something I haven't even imagined but I'm getting myself mentally ready for the next step.
4. Watch more documentaries. I didn't have nearly enough in my film diet. So far this year, almost half of the films I've watched were docs. I think that's a good ratio. And of course I wouldn't mind even more of a tilt toward the doc side.
5. Make more documentaries. I need to crank out some new things.
6. Attend at least 2 film festivals. I LOVE film festivals and I've only been to one! This is part of my version of attending professional conferences and I'm ready to get back out there!

Monday Mindspacing Vol. 129

1) I don't like Project Accessory. Molly Sims has no more credibility than any other person who wears accessories and I never understand what the judges are talking about when they like something. I almost never like what they like. But I can't stop watching it now that I've started. UGH!! I like some of the things they do and seeing the creation process but in general, the show annoys me. I'll finish out the season and be shocked if it lasts.
2) Speaking of shows, we've stopped watching Grimm and Person of Interest. It was the same thing every week with no overall story line progression.
3) December 26th is usually my least favorite day of the year after August 24th (day after my birthday). Christmas was so low-key this year, I was okay.
4) Did you know you can freeze store-bought egg nog? I'M ON IT!!!
5) My mom got her Christmas fish fry after all at my cousin's house for brunch. That fish was amazing! So delicious! I will allow Christmas brunch fish fries henceforth. But someone else has to cook it.
6) You know how I don't like mail addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Rashan last name? But I do like being called Mrs. Last Name. Mostly because it cracks me up! Who me???? LOL
7) I played 'spangles' clearing my tiles on triple word and double word for 161 points the other day!! It still makes me smile!!!
8) It's hilarious to me that the same people who will talk trash about Steve Harvey and Hill Harper dole out daily relationship advice. And I've yet to hear tale of their own successful relationships. Maaaaan look. By hilarious I mean annoying. Stop talking.
9) I had a colossal failure in the kitchen yesterday. Like no salvaging it, straight to the trash failure. WOW. First time in a long, LONG time that's happened. Years.
10) I ran 4 miles for the first time Sunday and it was amazing!! Not in the sense that it felt great because parts of it were torturous but amazing in that I knew I could do it and I did!
11) Remember I mentioned creating a food writing course? I'm reading "Will Write for Food" and it's AWESOME in the first 20 pages!
12) You know what January means, don't you? New goals!!!! I can't wait to share them with you! :)

Movies 2011, Weeks 51 & 52

2011 was an interesting year of films with I realized NOT ENOUGH DOCUMENTARIES!! Changes ahead in 2012.

December 18-24, 2011
222) The Good Witch's Gift. A criminal comes back in town as a good witch and the town's police chief prepare for their Christmas wedding. I guess it's cute enough and sappy but it didn't feel very Christmas-like. Not my favorite. 2.9 stars
223) Christmas Magic. A woman must help a man and his young daughter to get into heaven. I would've liked this film a lot more without the poor lip-synching on a terrible song played ad nauseum at the end. Ugh. Maybe not a lot more. It was too stripped of the things that make movies interesting; it was too predictable. 2.9 stars
224) Christmas Wishes. An orphan and a spoiled brat magically change places at Christmas time to the rich girl's chagrin. The plot was decent, the dialogue was bad, the acting was ABYSMAL!! You could feel everyone acting like a caricature of their character sketch. Bad. But the end? Outrageously bad. So, so bad. 1.5 stars
225) Comfort and Joy. A single woman (Nancy McKeon aka Jo from Facts of Life) is knocked unconscious and wakes up with a family she doesn't remember. Dixie Carter is pretty awesome as her mom. The biggest problem with these time loss movies is how much you have to suspend your disbelief. This was a bit better than others I've seen but it was still rather ridiculous. 3.2 stars
226) Broadcast News. The story of a network news producer, reporter and green, pretty boy anchor. It was pretty amazing how this story still rings so familiar 25 years after it was first told. You could still have the pretty face who knows next to nothing about making the news getting promoted for superficial reasons, massive cuts, a great worker getting hosed, newsroom romances ebbing and flowing. Wow. 4.3 stars
227) Mr. Lucky. Cary Grant stars as a casino operator and con man who convinces an heiress to host her ball for the war effort with his games. The set-up of the story was ridiculous. Just get to it and show me Cary, please and thanks. But I still enjoyed it. Even gangster Cary is still lovable and charming. :) 3.5 stars
228) Will You Merry Me? A Christian and his Jewish fiancée bring their families together to meet for the holidays. Some craziness ensues, of course, but not too over the top. The acting was pretty good. I enjoyed the film for what it was-- light-hearted Christmas hijinks. 3.5 stars
229) Three Wise Women. A woman's past and future selves have to help her  fix her life now to make it better in the future... but she doesn't know who they are. Amusing, strong start. Didn't really hold my attention, though. 3.2 stars
230) A Very Merry Daughter of the Bride. A woman comes back from a trip suddenly engaged to a stranger and her wedding-planning daughter decides to break up the wedding. Meh. 2.9 stars
231) Prelude to a Kiss. Meg Ryan and Alec Baldwin star as a young couple whose life is changed by a kiss to the bride from an old man on her wedding day. I usually love magic, rom coms and Meg Ryan. But... this one didn't really do it for me. I'd probably have liked it better if I saw it 10 years ago. 3.2 stars
232) It's A Wonderful Life. An angel's sent to earth to help out a man ruined by a miser at Christmas. Aw! I don't know why I avoided this movie for so long. Maybe my mom doesn't like it?? (Turns out that was why.) I usually find him corny, but I thought Jimmy Stewart was very endearing. Feel-good movie for certain. 4.5 stars

December 25- 31, 2011
233) Apocalypse Now. LAST MOVIE ON THE AFI TOP 100 LIST!!! PUMPED!! Martin Sheen plays a Vietnam-era Green Beret sent on a secret mission to murder a rogue colonel (Marlon Brando). Pretty amazing film from Francis Ford Coppola. 4 stars
234) Fame. The original version of the story of the ups and downs of life for students at a performing arts high school. Quite entertaining. From my brief stint at a performing arts school, they sure minimized the competitiveness among the students. Still, an interesting film. 3.8 stars
235) The Dilemma. Vince Vaughn plays a man who has to figure out whether to tell his best friend his wife is cheating on him. Too long. There were a bunch of unnecessary moments. And to be a dark comedy, there weren't enough funny moments. 3.1 stars
236) Wild Cherry, A teenage girl plots revenge when she finds out her boyfriend's participating in a school get laid book. Wow. Really bad. Don't bother. 2 stars