Kids? Who Needs Those?

Rashan's niece and nephew are 15 months apart... 11 months (girl A) and 2.5 years old (boy J).  We kept them for what was supposed to be an hour and a half... and turned into 5 hours today.  WORD!?!?!?  (That's Rashan playing 'Betcha can't grab the gum out my mouth.')

Have I told you guys lately that I don't know any babies?  And never have?  Oh I know PLENTY of babies on blogs and am aware that my friends have had babies but my sister and I are the youngest cousins on my dad's side.  I babysat ONCE for 2 hours when I was 14 and was shocked by it.  Not awesome.

This was amazing.  "Take that out of your mouth."  "No."  "How did you get over there so fast?"  "What do you want?"  I don't even know how to cut right-sized food for children.  I got a 'too big' from the oldest one.  SO FUNNY.  Thank God for 'Yo Gabba Gabba.'  I love you for holding their attention for 30 minutes.  J is already ready to eat us out of house and home.  There were raisins but my favorite was when I peeled an orange, cut it into microscopic pieces and had him hand the chewed bits back to me-- by surprise!  I was so shocked by that the first time he did it.  You spit that into my hand!??!?!  I'M NOT A MOM!!!!  I'M NOT READY!!!

I was standing in the kitchen cutting banana & hot dog and thinking, "I definitely am not ready to be anybody's momma... but could someone at least have taught me how to be an aunt??????  Anybody???  Bueller???  Bueller???  Jemima???"  5 hours is definitely the longest I've EVER been responsible for another human who needed me to do stuff constantly.  I was tired after 2.5 hours.  By 4 I was looking like it.  I finally just got up to go cook.  Wow... Oh yeah and I used to want 3 kids... I'm clearly currently amending that until further notice.  Kids are hard.  Y'all have fun with that.


Adei von K said...

Girl, having 19 5- y.o. made me want ONE child. One. I want to be pregnant one time and I won't be mad if it's a single birth.

Ladynay said...

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I will just say that you see things differently when it's your child. You don't really care if he/she spits chewed up orange in your hand. LOL! The wearing you out is with most any young child tho'! :-) Now back to laughing at this post...hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Not so Anonymous said...

Hillarious! I never appreciated my child bringing me stuff out of her mouth...I don't understand why kids do stuff like that.

Anyway, this was a good laugh this morning.

K. Rock said...

Ha to you!! Kids are not a walk in the park believe me!! But your tolerance and patience will increase (somewhat) when it is your own spawn that wants to spit in your hands. So don't be too scared.

1969 said...

Don't you read about the Tali's? I tried to warn you. LOL

Try watching an 8 and 5 year old boy EVERYDAY. LMAO!!!

Today alone, I have been to soccer, a picnic and the park. It's only 5:30pm. :)

On a limb with Claudia said...

I think other people's kids are hard. You don't know their rhythms and the games they like to play. When they are your kids, you'll know them, when they need to sleep, what they eat. When they are strangers, it's really hard.

As you become these kids Aunt, you'll get the hang of them and how to deal with them.

Jameil said...

adei... i can't even imagine teaching small baby children... 2 hours was plenty for me.

lady... i'm pretty sure i'll still care about him/her spitting chewed up anything in my hand. that's gross! Can i at least have a towel or something in my hand???

nsa... THANK YOU!! sheesh! so gross! glad you enjoyed this.

k... right!? so much! i figured you're more tolerant when they're yours. did you say spawn? lolol

1969... i mean i do but DAAAAANG!!! 3 yrs apart has to help! please say it does! you're doin too much!

claud... good points but who said i'll be thier aunt?? lol

Unknown said...

Wait, I knew babies and I'm the oldest cousin on my mother's side and I'm still like "Huh? What?" with kids. I've babysat twice before my 7 month niece was born. I babysat her for all of 30 minutes and she cried the entire time!! After that I said I was turned off of kids for a good month...LOL!! I heard it gets better when you have your own...let's hope so!!