Pump Ya Brakes Playa

I ordinarily don't like to go to the gym on Saturdays-- too many people. Y'all know my schedule makes me believe I'm entitled to my choice of gym equipment and every other life amenity without wait or too many people. The parking lot was packed. I knew I had to go in, do my business and GET OUT!! I hoped I didn't see G(ym guy). As I mentioned in the comments yesterday, he called to apologize for offending me. Riri! Handle my light work. Eh eh eh.

As soon as I walk into the gym area I'm getting shouted out. Bah!
"You following me?" he asked.
"Of course," I replied.
Yeah right. I get on one of the new elliptical machines. Okay I have a new favorite machine. It's right next to the mirror. Yes I was staring at myself in it as I worked out. I'm shrinking!! My waist is teeny tiny which is cool but my black womanness is shrinking, too! This will never do!! As I'm on the elliptical, I see this guy with a Howard Alumni shirt on. You know I had to say, "You couldn't get in to Hampton?" Hahahahahahahahahaha. He just looked shocked. Close your mouth, boo. And please trim that box to a fade. La is that really how y'all do? Boxes?

Next, the track where G was running his face off. I lapped these two black dudes in their 40s-- 3xs. If you're on the track, I'm racing you even if you don't know it. I'm trying to beat you!! I MUST WIN!! It's actually funny. Plus I dance while I walk and sing and snap and even clap if I'm not reading a magazine. Yes, I'm that girl. The first time I lapped the dudes they didn't say anything. The second time, it was, "You can't pass us." My response, "Then walk faster." They said, "You sound like that old ball coach." Hahahaha. Time number three, I say, "Come on fellas! Let's speed it up!" As I'm about to pass them a fourth time, they say, "Oh no! You ain't gon pass us this time!" And finally speed up. Hahahaha. Hilarious!!

G and I finished around the same time and he asks if I'm ready for round 2. I say, "Oh working out? Yep." He thinks I mean today. I'm like "Not today, I'm doing abs today." He says, "This is what I'm talking about. Consistency." Whoa. Not me, not the kid. You do NOT know me like that. If I go on Saturday it's my short day. This is why I don't talk to people at the gym. They get in your business and get too comfortable, too quickly. I don't need anyone stalking me about how much I work out. I'm never going to be in there 6 days a week, 3 to 4 hours a day. I have other things, more pressing things to do with my life. LIKE BLOGGING!! PUMP. YA BRAKES. My dad tries it, my mom tries it. I don't need it. I motivate myself. I've been doing it for the last 14 months. To quote Stace, "Don't do me." It's her way of saying PUMP. YA. BRAKES.

My dad is finally back. He's been on a business trip for 3 weeks. Yep that long in Longview, TX. I didn't tell y'all because I don't know how much y'all are peeking in my window (pow! nobody now!) and I can't be encouraging stalkers. You know how y'all get. Me and D(ad) went to breakfast after I left the gym. Yum. Y'all know how I love brekky. And now we're having beer. Lol. Before 2 in the afternoon. See where I get it from? Represent!!

I know I ordinarily don't get into current events on my blog. This is mostly because I have to deal with it enough at work, but this must be said. Billary!! Bill and Hillary. I'm talking to you. I DO NOT appreciate you making this a race issue. That tells me when you see a black person, you don't see a person, you see a BLACK person. You play dirty. That means me, my father and anyone else I can find and convince WILL NOT BE VOTING FOR YOU UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. BILL!! I expected better from you. I liked you as a president. Mostly because my parents liked you. Now I'm thoroughly disgusted. Don't call my house this election. Oh yeah and don't think we don't all know you would SO be in Obama's corner if Hillary wasn't in this.

Barack. Stop falling into their traps. Stay above their trash talking and do what you came here to do: win the Democratic nomination. By letting them drag you into race crap-- and THE PRODUCERS AT CNN KNOW THEY'RE WRONG FOR ASKING YOU IF BILL CLINTON WAS THE FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT-- you're letting them win. I bet Toni Morrison never thought those words would come back to bite so hard. Tongue in cheek or not. How many times will that piece be spun out of control for the rest of time? Over it. Oh yeah and Rudy? Go ahead and drop out. It's over. THANK GOD!! You were never my mayor. If your constituents can't stand you, there's a reason. Talk about a biting article? Wow!! The NYTimes can't stand you, honey, which I'm sure is not a surprise.


Adei von K said...

You didn't know they rock and box at the other HU? La told me she misses it.

Bill would SO be Obama's boy. Hillary is holding Monica over his head.

Sparkling Red said...

When I was (briefly) a member of a gym, I never spoke a word to anyone. And I especially never went in the hot tub, which was always full of guys hoping for company. No point in asking for trouble.
I'm much happier doing my mini workout in my own living room. No audience. That's how I like it.

Texasholly said...

glad the gym worked out EVEN on a weekend!

Momisodes said...

Oooh, thanks so much for linking those. I had to go and read them all!

I love the elliptical! Too bad I rarely ever visit it. I hate chatting with people while working out too. Unless we're in a class together and you're lost, don't talk to me...

1969 said...

As a New Yorker...let me state for therecord that Giuliani is a damn joke. And yes, Bilary are getting on my nerves too.

GreatWhyte said...

Okay, Billary... I don't agree that they made this a race issue. As much as we as Black people don't want to admit it, it has been a issue since Barack Obama declared his candidacy. He's Black= how could it NOT be an issue? And any person who says that they look at people and DON'T see color are flat out lying. if you have eyes, you see color. It is what it is, my friend! If they are looking at you and not seeing that you're Black, then they're not really seeing you.

Jameil said...

stace. rock and box!??! lmao!! monica and paula and and and!

red... its so much easier that way isn't it?? i don't mind the audience as much as the talking.

hrh... thx!

sandy... you're welcome! the elliptical is fab. LMAO @ don't talk to me! we could so work out together! lol

1969... ditto and ditto.

x... i'm not asking you not to see my race. I'm asking you not to treat me poorly because of my race and point out the fact that i'm black all the time. yeah... i know. in the last two weeks billary has tried to out black obama in sc while telling the rest of the country "come on. you know you don't REALLY want a black guy in the white house." look at the papers, look at the debates, look at the campaign stumps-- bob johnson, black preachers. everyone was tip toeing around the race thing (not necessarily a good thing) prior to the last few weeks. making obama this big scary black guy is what will keep him out of office and billary knows that.

i'm tired of people assuming i'm sooo different b/c i'm black. i am different but not in those ignorant ways you think. stupid black questions anyone?

shani-o said...

HEY! Don't be puttin the box on the Real HU! Unless I see a validated id card, I refuse to believe he was a student, lol.

And re: EVERYTHING else you wrote??


Rashan Jamal said...

I say we bring back the box! That would be dope!!!

LOL @ you checking yourself out in the mirror and the phrase "black womanness."

Yep, we are all coming to Pittsburgh so we can stalk you...I'm bringing my stalkers so they can stalk me whilst I'm stalking you.

Karamale said...

look at these hu peons trying to pull rank on each other. e'rybody know it's all bout dat FAMU!

but why, embarrassingly, did i never quite get the lyric "pow, nobody now" until i just read it here? i'm all singin it back in 96, not even realizing somebody just got popped for peepin in cee-lo's window. the one in the apahtment complex with the gate and the serial code they put up next (and the curfew especially for me and u).

ok, stopping now.

(but iss gon be dissoda!)

Jameil said...

shani... he was reppin all day every day!! he even had on the howard socks girl! lol. j/k!

rj... stop the madness. you will not. lmao @ you and your stalkers stalking me! get it together!! they will turn on me! keep your parolees at bay!!

kara... are you serious w/your little hood school? puhlease. not even in the conversation. glad i could intro you to hood lyricism! your slang is hilarious.

yet another black guy said...

Billary?! another classic jameilism that must be quoted