Aaaaaaaaaaand We're Back.

It's that time again. 2 years ago, almost to the day, I wrote this post. A year later, I touched on it again. Know why? Because it's around this time that it starts getting cold. When it gets cold, we are also nearing the holiday season. This means people bring out their ugly sweaters. And for Halloween, they bring out their hideous pumpkin, witch and ghost-covered vests. I saw more than one today and the only places I went were work (long before dawn cracked), the gym and the gas station. IT'S NOT RIGHT!!

You know I've never done Halloween, and this year it just seemed extra shallow and lame. I can't stand all the ridiculous "take me seriously as a journalist when something explodes or catches fire" but today I'm Elvira and Frankenstein! Sorry Mere and Matt. It had to be done. I also can't stand the lame "last minute costume ideas" segments. They do this every year. I could walk anyone in America through a Halloween segment for a goofy morning show. There has to also be something about dangerous candy, and trick-or-treat safety. ANYONE could produce a Halloween show. Fox News this morning had a triple box on an issue with a woman in an angel costume, one in a devil costume, and a witch in the center. Then one referred to the other two as "a bit sexy." AND YOU WONDER WHY PEOPLE DON'T TREAT YOU LIKE REAL JOURNALISTS!! Ridiculous. I'm just not really a fan of national morning shows, anyway. I don't like the light, dumbed down content. I'm a grown-up. I like some shoot 'em up kill 'em with my breakfast. I've always been a hard news (death and destruction, politics, etc.) and not a soft news (celebrity crap) girl. Shoot me if I'm expected to have anything to do with Entertainment Tonight. There is a place for that. It's just not for me. If I want to watch a segment on style, I'll do it after I have all my news for the day. I don't want it all mixed in.

I really didn't mean for this to become a rant. Lolol. On a ridiculously light note. Apparently I hide money from myself accidentally. I've found money in odd places 3 times in the last month. Today was time number 3. I found $60 in my gym bag. WHOOOOOOO!! I think I put it there before my trip to Hampton for homecoming. The 20s are extra crisp. Whatever the case I celebrated and giggled all the way to the locker room, worked out, came back and looked at the pseudo-windfall and giggled again as I sashayed out into the cold.

Um... I think I've accidentally caught the disease both of my parents have. Stranger-speak-to-me-syndrome. At my gym, it's the old white women who love to approach me. Why? Why do you feel the need to have the strangest conversations with me? "I like your little thingy. Is that an ipod? Did you download all the music yourself?... Well good for you!" "Ooops. I think I piddled. Well, I didn't piddle, but this water was all stuck here in the bottom of my bathing suit and it just came out. I hope no one falls." It's the locker room, and 5 feet from a shower. I think everyone will be okay. It was almost like she was talking to herself, but she kept looking to me for encouragement. You said piddled. How am I to respond? I don't know where this alleged friendliness came from but it's such a strange, strange thing for me. Know why? Because my neutral I'm just sitting here face looks like "I hate you" to people who don't know me. I'M SORRY I DON'T SIT AND SMILE ALL THE TIME!!! Actually, I'm not. I am who I am and I LOVE ME!!


Anonymous said...

Did she say piddled? Hmmmm.....haven't heard that in a while. That $20 was probably slipped to you by the 50 yr old dude that tried to pimp you in the airport. His number is on it. HAAAAA!!!!

Adei von K said...

LMAO!! remember the woman in the airport who was looking at you like, "TALK TO ME PLEASE!"

you must give off this "please talk to me" vibe lol

i swear, your word verif. gets longer each time. the whole bottom row of keys?? really guys? and i didn't get it right so i have to try another DNA chain of letters

CNEL said...

"Because my neutral I'm just sitting here face looks like "I hate you" to people who don't know me. I'M SORRY I DON'T SIT AND SMILE ALL THE TIME!!!"


T Dot said...

I'm so sad about piddle. And actually, I'mma start the slow clap for you because I don't think I could have held a straight face if someone walked up to me telling me they think they just "piddled" in their swimsuit, locker room be damned.

And up with hiding money from yourself. I do it sometimes (also accidental) and I'm happy when I dig in a coat pocket and find a $20. Yeah, I don't accidentally lose $60 though. That had to be intentional on your part.

Rashan Jamal said...

I got that disease too. Strangers always tell me stuff. It doesn't make sense since I'm always looking away or down trying to discourage the conversation. I guess they can't read my body language. Let me hold one of them $20s.

Southerner in Suomi said...

Ok I turned on Good Morning America and saw them and turned it off. That ish makes me mad.
And they have been doing that quick costume thing for YEEEEARS!!! (gag)

the joy said...

Piddled?!? Oh hell naw. I woulda laughed at her.

You know what it is? Its the cheeks. You still have what I like to call a baby face. You must learn to scowl when not smiling. You'll look deep in thought or on the verge of murder. Either way they leave you alone.

the joy said...

Stace is right about word verification.


All that took me forever to type on my phone.

Adei von K said...

and how can i not comment on the MEAT of this post!!!
Did I not see some VESTS yesterday!!!! UGH!!! a craft fair up-chucked at school and everyone over 35 had too many pumpkins/witches/ghosts on their clothes!! Mom was talking about getting me a vest like that and I said, "I will never be old enough to be corny." NEVER BE THAT TEACHER, NEVER I SAY!!

Jameil said...

funky... SHE REALLY DID!! i'm going to vomit on you! no he didn't!

stace... omg, that was so bizarre!! i've never given off this vibe before. WHERE DID IT COME FROM?!!? get it dna chain. uber dramatic are you.

cnel... sigh. it's not working anymore!!

t... lolol. i think i was just in shock. i may have smirked and then i just had the wide-eyed sympathetic nod. i vaguely remember putting that money in there so i wouldn't spend it all at homecoming OR in case my wallet got stolen, I'd have money anyway or something like that but I'd forgotten it was there. Then at homecoming I was super worried about how I'd spent all that cash so fast. turns out part of it was in my gym bag/carryon.

rj... i've NEVER had this problem. its such a bizarre one to have now. i'm always telling people "don't talk to strangers." and now it's me wanting to ask strangers not to talk to me.

v... this is what i'm sayin!! i knew you'd understand.

joy... y'all are so bratty. scowling creates unnecessary lines in your face (can't you tell i read a lot of mags that cater to white women?) plus my usual just chillin face used to accomplish that. I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!!

Jameil said...

STACE.... YESS!!!! I'm like, why why whyyyyyyyy!?!!? you know that ish appalls me. Ugh. You can still celebrate without looking like the holiday vomited on your clothing.

1969 said...

Piddled? On the floor? That is NASTY.

Minerva Exertion said...

LOL!!! I have the same disease. I remember a few years ago,I took a train to Greensboro. Strangers talked to me from the time I boarded the train, took care of my business, and boarded the train again to go home. I think I talked to 8 strangers that day. Wierd!

Anonymous said...

LOL .... when I was in undergrad a girl I knew out of the blue said out loud ... my sandwich went piddle ... and I just had to get up and leave! I need to find some lost money too!

Jameil said...

69... lol. it wasn't ACTUAL piddle. just water from her suit. more shocking for her word usage than anything else.

minerva. see? huh uh. this is the reason i read a book or magazine while listening to my ipod. thou shalt immediately know i have no intentions of communicating with you.

cali... but what did that mean!?!?! her sandwich??? mucho bizarro.

dreamyj said...

Stranger-speak-to-me-syndrome...I have the SAME THING! It's so good to know I'm not alone