The Glamorous

Wow.

The plane touched down and I wondered, how to people leave here? Upon approach I'm seeing the E.verglades, palm trees, downtown Miami (I'm assuming), and gorgeous, gorgeous water. It just looks hot and fun!! I start squirming in my seat... but back up.

You know how that last day before vacation everything makes you want to hurt someone? Like every single teeny tiny thing makes you want to harm someone? I had to chant Florida to myself. Hahaha. I left early to try to convince my oral surgeon to cut the fragment out of my face. That was a no go. Hater. Lolol. But I presume it's for the best. Because those drugs make me nauseous and with all the turbulence yesterday, I had to put the book down on the big swoops. Not cute.

My flight to Atlanta is uneventful. I'm asleep before we finish taxiing. If I don't get my 9 hours, naptime is always an option! I get to the airport and channel Jarrod's post about how ginormous it is. Luckily I have more than an hora to figure it out. Droppin that espanol homes!! The girl sitting next to me was staring out of the window like a fiend. I (kind of) felt bad when she told the woman on the other side she doesn't ride planes much so she's not used to it. I could've switched. Then I thought of the fact that the strange, environmentalist-looking lady next to her with the Badl.ands t-shirt could be talking to me. DESPITE the fact I had on headphones and was reading a book. That never stops the most persistent ones. And you know I try. Oh yes I try. I just don't like talking to people on planes. Something about being a captive audience does not appeal to me. Epiphany. When the conversation gets stale or boring, you can't say, "Ok. Well... it was nice talking to you but I gotta go now." GO WHERE?!?! YOU'RE HEADED THERE! No. Better to not start a conversation at all or I will never read more than one sentence of this book and I'll have to read that 8 or 9 times because you keep TALKING TO ME. I know that's not friendly, but on a plane, that is not my goal.

As we're boarding the plane to FT. LAUDERDALE!!!, I see that it's raining. I'm like. Oh. Great. But I'm from the South so I know how thunderstorms work. They pass quickly. If it wasn't raining earlier in the day, it's just a passing storm. We won't be here for hours. BUT we were there for almost an hour and a half. We took off 15 minutes before we were supposed to reach our destination, which for some reason was comical to me. Not that I wanted to get to Ft. Lauderdale uber late, but after the baggage loading guys had to run off, leaving our bags outside, some passengers decided to get nasty. Hmm, would you prefer for the workers to be surrounded by all this metal INCLUDING THE 737 WE'RE IN, get struck and die? Think of the delay then if you can't muster up a care for a human life over your PRECIOUS LUGGAGE (most likely filled with horribly out of date clothing but I digress). When I see people getting crunk over foolishness, it calms me down. You want me around in a crisis. Breaking news? Jameil's your girl. I'm all about a solution. Everyone calm down and let's make this happen. Know why? Because getting all up in arms does not help. It distracts you from your goal. I can be a very hyper person, but when it counts, I'm muy level-headed.

So we touch down in the land of liquor and I'm so excited about what I'm seeing!! I'm snapping pictures of the skyline and the everglades. So fun!! I get off the plane and feel very overdressed. Hahaha. Oh yeah, we are in South Florida!! I call Stace. No answer. I get nervous because though she was excited, and I'd already talked to her in ATL, I know how she is. She will disappear for days and not tell anyone. I head down to baggage claim. I see a giant balloon, the bottom of which says "birthday to you," trailing a teeny tiny person and I start smiling. As she's walking away from the escalator (she can't see me), I get off, run and tackle her! Hahaha. It was so funny. Then we start screaming like girls. Hahahaha. Hugs for her and Drew... Then I get a giant star balloon that says "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU" with a 2 inch wide tail covered in glitter. But I really need you to understand the size of this balloon. Its bigger than my body across. Like at least 12 inches. IGNORANT!! BUT Very inconspicuous. Then she hands me cupcakes, an Every.day with Rachael R.ay magazine... YAY!! And a card from Hall.mark that says "HAVE A RACHAE.L RAY DAY!!!!!" LOVE IT!!!!!! I'd seen it when I was there with my mom and almost bought it for myself!!! (I know I still have to post about my birthday). But instead I got it from mystace!! Yay!! We are being very loud like we are every time we're in the airport together. Keep tradition alive!!

We get my bags and ride out with the Spanish music pumpin. And it's hot as all get out. Almost 7 p.m. and 90 and humid. I'm like, I'm definitely in Florida!!" We go to a Mexican restaurant for some food!!! Yessss!! I decide on the beef burrito Cancun with meat, cheese, sour cream, guac, rice and beans and a house margarita. Easier to eat. I had to take it slow but I was determined to eat through the pain!! If you don't already know this, drink margaritas at Mexican restaurants. They are insanely strong. I didn't get a to go box for the first time in forever and right now I want that stuff. I would tear it up. I'm gonna email them and see if they could carrier it over. No? Just let it go? Alright. After the restaurant, me and Stace shower and change, then head to Ginge.r Bay Cafe to hear Drew's band perform. The lead singer is a model... I see why. Lololol. I don't know why models are not my type. It's not that I don't notice they're attractive. Maybe I just like more normal looking people. At the end of the set, I meet the band. Everyone was aware this is the trip of the century. THAT'S RIGHT, RECOGNIZE!! Hahahahaha. Tho the model did ask me if I brought his blanket. I was so confused. Apparently he loves airplane blankets and Stace and Drew were supposed to pass the message along to bring him one. CRAZY MAN!! That's how people catch scarlet fever. Airplane blankets. I'm just sayin. Think about it.

After the intros, we leave and head back to West Palm Beach. Do you know it takes FOREVER from our jumping off point in Hollywood? Seriously an hour. I fell asleep. I'd been mostly awake for nearly 24 hours so you know what that means. Jameil is gone to the world. The Raphae.l Saadi.q was bumpin, too? Please. Gone. Until I wake up in the city of Palm! Wheeeee! We go to sleep. Wake up and Stace goes to school. I was supposed to go but I was too sleepy. I was re-awakened, though by Ashli calling me at the crack of dawn aka 8:43... GIRL!! IT'S VACATION!! Boooo. So that's why I'm up right now. I already used the gift card she sent for my bday to buy some FIERCE shoes. Wait until you see them. They reminded me of La. I will use 3 words. Magenta. 4 inches. That's all I'ma say! Love you mucho!! VIVA FLORIDA!!!

The Day from HELL

It started when I walked out the door to the freezing rain. You know the kind. It sounds like rain, then you walk outside and almost bust your head open on the concrete? Yeah that happened to me. Three times in the 20 steps from the front door to my car. Then I got to the car and there was a layer of ice on top of the inch or two of snow that had fallen since I'd come home from work earlier in the day. Got to the car, had to yank open my door because it was iced shut. Curses!!!

I spend the next 15 minutes scraping the ice and snow off of my car. New laws here give hefty fines if snow or ice from your car flies off causing an accident. Then I see the pile of snow behind my car from the snow plows coming through last night pushing it all to MY SIDE... and it also has a layer of ice on it. I try to drive over it anyway. I get stuck but I'm able to pull forward and almost slide into my dad's car. I pull back up into the space and call my job. "I can't get out of my driveway and its freezing rain." I already have the shovel out trying to scrape something out. I'm on the verge of tears because I'm frustrated and I'm scared I'm going to kill myself trying to get to work.

My news director tells me to wait a few minutes and try again. So I go back in the house and sit down for a few minutes but I can't relax because I'm like I've gotta go. (It's the news disease. The news has to get on the air regardless. We don't get snow days. We're just as bad as mail men and we don't get Sunday off either). Then I see we're going on early at 4:30 so I get in the car and leave. The road near my house was pretty bad. The main roads were ok though. I get to work in 45 minutes instead of my usual 30 and they were just glad I was there.

The morning shows were a combined 4 1/2 hours of news instead of 3 to get all the snow coverage in with lots of running around. It was how you picture a news station rushing to get you everything you need to know RIGHT NOW. Very dramatic.

I'm supposed to get off at 10 but we have more extended coverage so I stay to help. In between this, I'm getting updates from Kyle. His 630am flight was cancelled because the airport was closed. They thought they would be able to get it open by 830 and he would now be connecting in Minneapolis instead of Detroit and his flight would get here at 430p instead of 1130a. About 1045a, I another call telling me he is STILL IN HARTFORD!!!!!!!! and his flight will get there around 7pm. #$%^&*()_!$%^&*(?!%&*

I'm like that's ridiculous. We'll have a day together instead of a full 48 hours!!!!! And we haven't seen each other in more than a month and that was for 15 minutes. So I ask him to see if he can get a different flight for next week since he has the same off days. It was just about seeing each other, not about Valentine's Day.

He checks with the folk. They say no dice because he'll have to travel on days when he's not available and has to come by next Wednesday. WTF?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!

#$%^&*(#$%^&*()$%^&*()!&^%#$%^&*

I cut a line in my car to loosen the ice so I can start it up. Then I trudge home in the snow to take a nap until he gets here and I get an update. He calls me... I say do you have an update? He says yes, but it's not good. What? They're closing the airport. I'm not coming. I'll try to come in two weeks.

I'm too exhausted to cry. I'm disappointed and sleepy. AND I HAVE CRAMPS. He's sleepy, its cold, he's driving in bad weather. We talk later in the day and I feel better. But overall? Not a fun day. When you comment, do not say awww. Or its ok. Or feel better. To keep up with Madam, I do not want to hear that. Encouraging words are not going to be appreciated right now.

AI started a list of things she likes EVERYday, not just on the unnecessarily maligned V-Day. So here are some of mine.

1. Telling me you love me. I could hear this all day long.
2. Getting a lot of comments. It really makes me jolly.
3. Wearing red, pink and other bright colors.
4. Looking fly. This is why I'm hot.
5. Going out to eat. Speaking of which, did you know baked potatoes are the greatest source of food bourne illness at restaurants? It's because its almost impossible to keep them at the internal temperature they're supposed to maintain once they've been cooked. So skip the baked potato. Learn something new everyday, right?
6. Getting cards. There is something joyous about seeing a colorful extended rectangle with your name on it.

Today on the Record Dish: Luda shouts out Oprah at the Grammy's. You know how I feel about Oprah. This is a must read.

Christmas

wasn't that bad. I'm actually really glad I went to work. Everyone was very jolly, blasting Christmas music, exchanging presents and cards. One girl's mom brought us a breakfast casserole, fruit, oj and bagels. It was nice.

Two days earlier, a package came for me. YAY!!! You know I love packages. Of course it was from Kyle (the bf's actual name. I was trying to maintain his anonymity but he says he doesn't care). I know how he feels about me opening presents before the date... but I couldn't wait! I never can. I never get packages and they excite me. He knows how I am.

So, I open the package. Another lovely card. He picks the best ones. And... a diamond journey necklace! You know the ones that look like a squiggle and go from the smallest diamond to the largest. 7 diamonds. Wheeeeeeeee. I love diamonds. I told him last Christmas that jewelery is always a fabulous present for me. You can't go wrong with jewelery! Such a fabulous one, that one.

He was upset that I didn't wait.... but come on! If he wants me to wait, he should make sure it gets there on the exact date. That's the only way. He asked me to make a pact not to open a gift until the intended date. Er... um... yeah... I said I can't make that guarantee. I'll try. Now he says he'll just never send me anything again. FINE! Deliver it in person! Thanks! I prefer that anyway!

He's going to Chicago in January, so I bought his plane ticket. He has a one hour layover in Pittsburgh on the way back so we'll have to steal half an hour. Hopefully his plane will get in a little early. I'll take 10 minutes if that's all we have. That's love.

The Anniversary Trip

First may I say how opposed to the term anniversary the bf's mom and my dad are? They were both like, you're not married, it's not an anniversary. HEY PARTY POOPERS!! WE ARE CELEBRATING OUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!! I plan a trip out there and he finally gives me what I've been asking for since my birthday party... ANOTHER PARTY!!! YAY!!

We decide we'll have the party on Saturday, the day before our ann'y so we have time to hang out with only each other on Sunday. I get to CT, and Ashli picks me up from the airport. We go to Olive Garden, and have a wonderful time gossiping. Then we head across the street to the mall so I can find SOMETHING to wear. We head to Forever 21, pick up a multitude of polka dot shirts, and settle on a shirt I didn't even have time to try on.

Ash leaves to go see the Nutcracker. The bf picks me up from the mall and we go to the liquor store for a bottle of 1800, fabulous tequila. I'm a huuuuuuuge fan of tequila. We also pick up a couple of bags of chips, then head back to his apartment so I can take a nap before the party. Of course he's doing his normal bother me thing like a 5-year-old when he first sees me. I'm always sleepy and not in the mood. I get extremely cranky when I'm sleepy.

I take a mini nap (2 hours or less), then the bf wakes me to say Ash is on her way and being belligerent. This shocks me (not!). So I get up, get dressed in my skintight jeans, black and white polka dot top and black and white polka dot flats! (nine west, of course) and walk sleepily around until her and her bf get there. She bought us a present! How sweet! It was 2 blue flutes and 2 blue wineglasses from Lord & Taylor, a bottle of 3 blind moose chardonnay, and a bottle of sparkling wine, and a card. So lovely, that one is. We all stand around drinking and talking for about 2 hours. I was so glad they came... esp. since she was my only friend who was able to make it. They leave and its just me and the bf again until about 1. He gives me the sweetest card that brought tears to my eyes. I won't tell you the whole thing, but one line was "A lifetime isn't long enough to tell you how much I love you." Wow....

He was getting worried that no one would show up to our party. So cute. He'd already told me no one he works with gets off until 1 (yes, AM, Sportscenter and all the other shows have to get on the air somehow, don't they! lol), so I was sure we would have a turnout.

His neighbor gets there at about 1, feels supremely uncomfortable being there with the 2 of us for about 10 minutes, then 3 more people get there, then 2 more and suddenly within half an hour, there are about 10 people in the house... and I'm the only female. But I've always had a lot of guy friends so I'm just flitting about in my adorable way mingling with the folk and answering the door. I'm feeling quite nice by this point. Then fellow Hamptonian, BP starts pouring drinks and I make myself a tequila and oj. More people start getting there, and by 2:15, its one hell of a party. Still not many girls, but there were spades and dominos games, people taking shots in the kitchen (pass), and some dancing.

Everyone started leaving around 4. The bf and I were asleep by 5 and slept for most of the next day and watched the games on and off. BOOOOO PANTHERS!! I'M HATIN!! Always a fan, but they really pissed me off on Sunday. I wanted a burger for dinner so we went to Ruby Tuesday. I got a yummy pepporcorn swiss burger and the most delicious strawberry lemonade you have ever had in your life!!! The restaurant has really, really stepped up its game. Loved it.

Afterwards, we rented Pirates of the Carribbean. I fell asleep after the first 10 minutes, until the last 10 minutes.... hahahahahaha. Then I woke up, we watched more football, etc. It was great fun. We fell asleep. The next day, we chatted, ate breakfast, and talked. He's wonderful. I felt absolutely refreshed when I left. Hurray for trips to see the bf.