An Open Letter to Ruben Studdard

Dear Rubes,

Or should I call you Studds? Studdy? Rub Stud Studdy? Hey friend! I have an idea. A good one, I think. We should be able to really jump start your career.

Remember your song? Sorry for 2004? Arguably your biggest hit...

I think you need to reprise it for 2014. I think it will be AMAZING! "This is my sorry for... two-thousand fourTEEEEEN and I ain't gonna mess up no mooooore, this year..." Etc. etc. By just appending the teen to the four, you make people think maybe this is the same song? But WAIT! THERE'S MORE! Just like an infomercial!

You rhymed with year and four and many of these still work. AND! Now you can also rhyme with teen. May I suggest seen? Clean? The alternate (admittedly slightly obnoxious) pronunciation of been? Bean? I don't know how bean would fit in this in a reputable way. Scratch that. Another tip: don't use teen and teen as rhymes. No one will be impressed with that. But I think you have something to work with so get started! Thank me in the credits and if you win an award for this, send me one, too.

You're welcome in advance!



Nancy said...

That was simply keen (which also rhymes with teen... and been).

Speaking of "been" being pronounced with a long "e" - I work with a lady who pronounces "again" with a long "a" ...and I love it.

Unknown said...


I sat here and sung this song with your changes. I guess that I don't have to explain that I used to think (when i was younger of course) that I was gonna marry him...... ahhh memories. Roflmao. Btw, mean could also be one of the words. Kali

Anonymous said...

I think this is a fine idea! He needs a jumpstart and we can all admit we loved this song.

laughing808 said...


I purchased his latest "Letters from Birmingham", there are a few, ok a couple, LOL of nice tunes on there. The first single about him being single again was really nice.

But yeah, he needs to get some better material.

Jameil said...

nancy... ha!!!! i love it! Keen & again- long a!

kalvinia... lol excellent! you guys' additions are marvelous!

disco... lol this groundswell of support is a great start!

laughing... lol we are so helpful!

Anonymous said...

I think you should be sorry for May. And for June. And for this post! HA!

I would love for the velvet teddybear to make a comeback. He could be a larger Usher.

Jameil said...

The velvet teddy bear??? People don't call him this! LOL