(L)On(e)ly Children

I can't even tell you how in love I am with that title. I always wanted to be an only child. To be the center of attention, to have no one to have to share with, to never have your time interrupted.

But I wasn't. From my parents' marriage, I was the oldest but a mere 19 months and one week. My mother had her, as she says, so I wouldn't be lonely. This makes me love my mother even more than I already do. She was willing to stretch and contort her body and figure so that I wouldn't be lonely. Willing to once again allow a person to share her body. And all I could think to say to her after the early adoring big sister years (there are some adorable pictures of me doting on and feeding my baby sister), was "But I didn't ask you for that." Though not an only child, I was still a bit spoiled. Not in the doesn't know how to act when out of her parents' sight sort of way but in that we never had to want for anything we needed and often got things we wanted. Let's call that loved.

My mom was a stay-at-home mom from kindergarten to 2nd grade when my sister started school. In first grade we had a field trip. We went to the hardware store which also sold garden stuff (I'm sure the reason behind the field trip) and the park. Wow. The town where I grew up is still only 5% black. It had to be even less back then. Somehow I knew that all the other kids would have soda with their bag lunches. I'm sure it came up in those conversations all school children have about their lunches-- bordering on obsession. My mom didn't let us have soda, frozen dinners, junk food or much fast food. I begged her for a soda and she refused. I woke up the next morning to a can of my favorite next to my bagged lunch and was overjoyed! My mom later told me that my dad never wanted us to be left out so he convinced her to let me have soda, then went to the convenience store while I was sleeping to get me one.

Later in elementary school I had a friend whose mom was a single mom. I'm pretty sure all the moms talked about her mom (I think my mom told me this years later) because as a result the kids were pretty mean to her. I was nice to everyone unless they were bullies. Then I would bully the bullies into being nice. G was an only child. Her lunches were always what I considered the good stuff. Those miniature tins of ravioli or spaghetti, granola bars. I can't remember what else but I loved it! I always had sandwiches which she loved. You know what that means. TRADE! It was great. Her requests though? I will never forget. Turkey was an option but she really liked cucumber, mayonnaise, salt and pepper sandwiches. Sometimes she would eat the tomatoes instead of cucumber. My mom had to cut those for me. I was too grossed out liking neither of those. I still don't like cucumber and am very tomato picky (number 5). Ok Liz, the last time I did that meme it was because you tagged me!!

I kept this sentiment for years. My sister and I have never been close. She likes being an outdoor person and is way more athletic than I am. People always asked if we were twins because she has almost always been close to my size. I'm small and she outgrew me by the time she was in 2nd grade and I was in 4th.

You might not be able to tell from that picture but people always think she's older. It used to bother me. Now I sit back and revel in it. Lol. Now she's my soror, too. That was at her first regional conference. She won a trip to Boule for dancing a couple of years ago. Is that a tiara? I can't stand tiaras but I was so proud! Awww. The baby. We don't quite get along yet on the regular but I've outgrown the desire to be an only child. I would have no one to share the outrageous inside jokes with me and laugh raucously about it. Now she's a graphic and web designer and we're gonna take over the world!!


Momisodes said...

Aw, that is a wonderful photo of you two. I don't remember wishing I were an only child, but I DID thank my mom for not giving me a sister :) Probably because I was a bit of a tomboy.

I LOVE that you traded lunches. Too cute. And I bet those mini tins of pasta were Chef Boyardee.

YUM! You know how I feel about those these days :)

Ladynay said...

Loved loved loved being an only child! I had enough cousins around in the country or and aunt close to my age that is like an older sister @ my grandmothers in MD to feel lonely.

Cheers to progressively getting closer and closer to world domination with your baby sis!

Chan said...

i always wanted a sister. i have a brother instead.i love him, but sisterhood...i can tell it rocks. congrats to u. :)

Sha Boogie said...

I totally thought i should have been an only child! to bad my brother came before me..hmph. But i am def gonna make litle snappy's dreams of singledom come true ;)

Rashan Jamal said...

cucumber mayo and salt and pepper... I know what we having for dinner next weekend!!!

I never knew what it was like to be an only child. I had a sister that terrorized me but who I got cool with at 13. And my little brother was always there for me to look after. As much as I enjoy my own company, I could probably pull the only child thing off though.

Not so Anonymous said...

Aw...sisterly love. You must have creative parents as well??

I always wanted to pack my lunch, but most days it was school lunch for me :( You lucky girl!

Jameil said...

momisodes... lol @ thanks for no sister. my mom had 4 brothers & always wanted a sister so she has NO concept of us not getting along. it was kid's kitchen usually. i still like ravioli from a can actually tho sometimes it's too salty for me.

lady... i meet too many bratty only children! lol. same thing we do every night pinky! try to take over the world!!

chan... you sound like my mom! lol. thanks. & welcome.

sha... right!? lolol. poor snappy. he's gonna be one of those lonely kids!

rj... ew. no you don't! did you want to be an only child? you really seem like the type. tho middle children are such loners w/o a place that they seem like only children anyway. you are such the quintessential middle child.

nsa... lol. nope! i would not consider either of my parents creative. idk if they would take offense to that. my mom def. has an appreciation for the arts but i don't think of them as creative.

and i had a packed lunch wishing for school lunch! (i wanted the pizza and fries.) in middle school we convinced M to start giving us money for lunch most days.