Top Chef Season 4: Episode 2

Why do you have so many ankle tats? This one chick looks like Rachael D.ratch from SNL. Did I show you my fave SNL skits from last week? I didn't.

Those obnoxious kids whose parents don't ever shut them up.


And Tracey telling Tina what's what!


It's a quick fire. Of course you can only use 5 ingredients. Y'all are wack sometimes. I love quick fires. This dude listening to music while he's supposed to be shopping. Eucalyptus? Gross. This other genius paid for his stuff and ran off. Niiiice. Who sells frozen meat at a farmer's market? Molecular gastronomy is kind of scary to me but there's a place in Pittsburgh that does it and I kind of want to try it... except it's $125/person. Anyone want to buy me dinner?

This guy who curses every other word is offensive. I hope he gets eliminated. This dude says he can only think about a certain amount of things at a time... seriously? The people who are in their element always fall flat. Every time. Turnips though? Gross. And he won.

Incorporating meat in a vegetarian diet? Come on. COME ON!! Liz. Do you want some bacon? There are so many fab veggie dishes they could make. Fake chefs. And the people who have reservations and don't speak up are the ones who get sent home. They're all Type A personalities... well the good ones anyway. Are you really worried about her dish when she's the one not using meat? She's playing it safe.

This girl just fell running around the store. Sigh. STOP RUNNING!! Food in the grocery store doesn't move!! Except lobsters. Wait for it. You really want table decor?? What in the world? I ust need it to taste good and look good. I could care less about the table. Mushrooms & blueberries? Scary. Squid seviche!!! Mmmm. I can't stand foams. That is not food. It's the top of a bubble bath.

I just saw milk... I want some. Those mushrooms look disgusting. Don't serve that. It looks like poo. Padma's dress is ugly. Beet salad? Y'all already know. RUTABAGA AGAIN!! Why did you serve the nasty mushrooms only to the judges after you pulled them? So stupid. This one dude was like a girl giggling because his "mentor" (the guy whose food he really admires) loved his dish. Lol. I can't lie. One of my college professors told me she was proud of me and I was screaming and yelling and jumping around the house. Lolol. I couldn't help it! And his fave mentor picked his dish as the fave. That's cool. But he's twitching like he's on drugs. Celeb rehab? You don't have to be well-known if that's what's holding you back.

You didn't taste the mushrooms? Wow. Rutabaga overpowered? Who would've thought since it's DISGUSTING!!! The one who took the lead also didn't taste the dish? What in the heck!? What's with all these non-tasting chefs?!? I wonder if chefs watch this show. I wouldn't, and didn't, watch a show about becoming a producer.

AHHHHHHH!! I'm catching the 2nd showing and I almost ruined the surprise for myself by clicking on the show link to link to pics of the food!!!!!!! I would've been so upset!! Just 5 mins left and at the beginning there are so many mistakes you can never tell who's going adios. I did kind of think Val was going home. Sayonara sister. You've made some good friends? You might have been here 2 weeks. If that. Get out. We know how reality tv works. You don't know anyone in 2 weeks.