3.19.2008

Stripped

Clothes. Who needs them? They're just barriers to what needs to happen right now between you and me. So take them off and let's get to business. No? That's fine. It wasn't really a question or an offer.

I read somewhere that all women secretly think all men are going to murder them. That's true, but for me the scarier part is rape. I've written about rape before because so many of my friends have been raped or assaulted. One of their stories...

She was in college and one of her friends wanted to take her out on a date. She said sure and felt comfortable drinking with him. They got quite drunk. He walked her back to her room and thought she was so drunk she would willingly have sex with him. She wasn't THAT drunk. So she said no. He kept going. She said no again. He still kept going. She started crying and begged him to stop. He still kept going. He kept going...

By the time she called me, she had reported him to the university. He was found guilty, even though he denied it, because she had gotten a rape kit immediately afterward. He was expelled, but she still didn't feel safe. So she left school and went back home. Even 100 miles away from him, she couldn't sleep in her room alone so for months she slept on the floor in her parents' room.

I don't want that for me, for my friends, family or any woman (or man) ever again. That was the original confession not this. Are you happy now?

11 comments:

Rashan Jamal said...

Man, that sucks. As a man, I wont even pretend to understand the psychological ramifications. Thanks for sharing your confession.

Chris said...

like Rashan, I'm not even going to fake the funk about something that tragic. Just terrible to think that a lot of dudes think they have control over a woman's body like that.

1969 said...

I think Rape and/or molestation is one of the most horrible crimes. To knowingly force yourself on someone is just pathetic and shameful.

Sorry that anyone, male or female, has to go through that experience. Rapists are weak cowards.

Opinionated Diva said...

No I'm not happy. I'm really hoping that you didn't take my comment on the previous posts too seriously Jam.

I've never been raped, but came close to it...too damn close to it once. Like you...it's a real fear for me as well.

Truly sorry to hear about you friend.

Sparkling Red said...

Such an thoughtless, brief act on behalf of the man... I'm sure he forgot it by the following day. And a lifetime of consequences for the woman. It's just not fair.

Stacie von Kutieboots said...

damn.

such an inhumane crime.

deep post.

La said...

It is one of those things that reaches far beyond the event. It never really leaves you.

Sandy C. said...

Simply awful. I agree with 1969, rape and/or molestation being some of the worst crimes.

I am very sorry your friend and anyone else had to endure something like that.

X Factor said...

I am so.... yeah, I'm good.

Desy said...

i am sooo sorry about your friend hun

i remember i once got called a virgin ho; the girl said i was the reason why women get raped... since i teased but never put out... needless say- we never talk

and don't take my previous comment to heart... i was just bein dumb- friendships are my deepest relationships to date, so i understand putting them high on the emotional list...

magnoliapeach said...

I've seen injustices like this eat women alive. They can't love, can't trust, can't feel safe, can't just be them anymore. I hope anyone out there who has experienced this gets help.

For some reason it reminds me of that Tupac lyric:
"And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women"