3.02.2008

Yes, You Know What I Mean Not At All

You know how people like to call themselves making you feel better by saying, "I know exactly what you mean because..."? And when they get done letting whatever foolish phrase leave their mouths, you are more upset than you were at the beginning of the conversation because they couldn't let you have your moment, they had to usurp it and piddle on it with their complete lack of understanding. Not only do you not understand, you've minimized my situation with your comments. I don't have to be a martyr 24/7 but some days, let me have mine.


When I tell people I want to leave Pittsburgh if only for a week they say things like, "Yeah that's how I feel right now, too" about wherever they are. Except it rings a bit false when I've been marooned here for 2.5 years and you've only been in your location for 4-9 months. Perhaps you're in quick driving distance of your hometown. You know like when you can get in your car, leave at lunch and get home by dinnertime. Or maybe you saw your mother at Christmas or Thanksgiving. Must be nice. I've seen my mom 3xs in the last 2.5 years. I've also not been with my family for a single holiday in that time. Yeah... let's depart from conventional English from a minute. I'ma need you to take your "understanding" that way. Thanks.

New voice post partly explaining the origin of my fabulosity.

15 comments:

Desy said...

i understand exactly what you mean because i have friends that do me the same way....<--- is that what you mean? lmao

sometimes people really want to empathize and they try to find a moment where they can relate with you- but for the most part, i make the state of 'i can't imagine how you feel, but i'm sorry that you have to go thru it and i'm here for you if you need a ear'- the standard phrase...

so if you need an ear...lol (or eyes since this is the blogosphere)

Open Grove Claudia said...

It's funny because if I don't say: "I understand exactly what you mean because....", people say that I think I'm better than everyone or don't share my life. Go figure.

I guess it takes all kinds.

memphiz said...

where ever you go make sure it's some place where your laying out in the sun sipping on something...with a bag of fries on the side!

The Ink said...

Ima tell you what.

You got to Pittsburgh at a good time.


Three or four years earlier, you wouldnt have made it.


Pittsburgh is actually getting to a point where I can stay there longer than a week.

although me and the wife did agree to not stay five nights but only four.

Sparkling Red said...

It's so rare to find someone who really LISTENS and fully "gets" where you're coming from. A good listener doesn't have a need to distort what you've said in order to make themselves feel more comfortable.

Stacie von Kutieboots said...

mmmm, that sucks.

i don't like those people who have a story for everything. NO MATTER WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT... its like, "oh yeah! one time, at band camp..."

jameil1922 said...

desy... let me tell you how hilarious that was.

claud... yeah i guess. it would be nice to have some people who didn't try to always "know what i mean."

mem...i definitely need to be in the sun and no fries for 20 more days.

ink... still not good enough.

red... yeah. if i could get one of those in my sphere for more than 17 minutes it'd be great.

stace... yeah.

CNEL said...

I like that people are empathetic. I don't appreciate their need to always announce it though.

There are other forms of communication ironically enough silence, ever heard of just being a listening ear?

I feel as if those people who announce their similarly situated experiences feels as if it's a competition and they need to get over that crap A.S.A.P.

Opinionated Diva said...

You said you don't curse, but that is a moment when you simply tell the person to "STFU!!...don't talk just listen!" in a really nice and dignified way of course. lol

LMAO @ Stacie "One time at band camp"...yeah, I think I'm that person though!

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

u know as counseling psychologist, i was taught and never say such

Duck said...

It's narcissism. Pure, unadulterated self-absorption. Folks don't know how to talk about anything else but themselves, so that's the only way they know how to show understanding.

Either that... or they just really like talking about themselves, and will take any opportunity to do so.

Either way... I know just what you mean....

:-)

jameil1922 said...

cnel... yeah... "sometimes i'ma need YOU to sit down." we are so here!

diva... i have these fantastic withering looks. i wish they translated over the phone. just wait til i get my apple and start ichatting. folks will be getting an ifull. STOP BEING THAT PERSON!! lolol

torr... where are you when i need you?! you opium joint on your blog just helped me sound smart at work today. HOT!!

duck... it tis and they need to saddown! isn't that how narcissus drowned?

Mademoiselle M said...

lol, you sound like my best friend. She needs quite a few of these moments too. You dramatic divas!

Mademoiselle M said...

Daggit. I shoulda started that comment with... I know what you mean, my best friend be doing the sameeee thing!!

And yes, that was "ebonics." Sorry to scare you.

jameil1922 said...

mm... sometimes we just need our moments!!!!!!!! you are such a jerk (soft j). lol.