Pump Ya Brakes Playa

I ordinarily don't like to go to the gym on Saturdays-- too many people. Y'all know my schedule makes me believe I'm entitled to my choice of gym equipment and every other life amenity without wait or too many people. The parking lot was packed. I knew I had to go in, do my business and GET OUT!! I hoped I didn't see G(ym guy). As I mentioned in the comments yesterday, he called to apologize for offending me. Riri! Handle my light work. Eh eh eh.

As soon as I walk into the gym area I'm getting shouted out. Bah!
"You following me?" he asked.
"Of course," I replied.
Yeah right. I get on one of the new elliptical machines. Okay I have a new favorite machine. It's right next to the mirror. Yes I was staring at myself in it as I worked out. I'm shrinking!! My waist is teeny tiny which is cool but my black womanness is shrinking, too! This will never do!! As I'm on the elliptical, I see this guy with a Howard Alumni shirt on. You know I had to say, "You couldn't get in to Hampton?" Hahahahahahahahahaha. He just looked shocked. Close your mouth, boo. And please trim that box to a fade. La is that really how y'all do? Boxes?

Next, the track where G was running his face off. I lapped these two black dudes in their 40s-- 3xs. If you're on the track, I'm racing you even if you don't know it. I'm trying to beat you!! I MUST WIN!! It's actually funny. Plus I dance while I walk and sing and snap and even clap if I'm not reading a magazine. Yes, I'm that girl. The first time I lapped the dudes they didn't say anything. The second time, it was, "You can't pass us." My response, "Then walk faster." They said, "You sound like that old ball coach." Hahahaha. Time number three, I say, "Come on fellas! Let's speed it up!" As I'm about to pass them a fourth time, they say, "Oh no! You ain't gon pass us this time!" And finally speed up. Hahahaha. Hilarious!!

G and I finished around the same time and he asks if I'm ready for round 2. I say, "Oh working out? Yep." He thinks I mean today. I'm like "Not today, I'm doing abs today." He says, "This is what I'm talking about. Consistency." Whoa. Not me, not the kid. You do NOT know me like that. If I go on Saturday it's my short day. This is why I don't talk to people at the gym. They get in your business and get too comfortable, too quickly. I don't need anyone stalking me about how much I work out. I'm never going to be in there 6 days a week, 3 to 4 hours a day. I have other things, more pressing things to do with my life. LIKE BLOGGING!! PUMP. YA BRAKES. My dad tries it, my mom tries it. I don't need it. I motivate myself. I've been doing it for the last 14 months. To quote Stace, "Don't do me." It's her way of saying PUMP. YA. BRAKES.

My dad is finally back. He's been on a business trip for 3 weeks. Yep that long in Longview, TX. I didn't tell y'all because I don't know how much y'all are peeking in my window (pow! nobody now!) and I can't be encouraging stalkers. You know how y'all get. Me and D(ad) went to breakfast after I left the gym. Yum. Y'all know how I love brekky. And now we're having beer. Lol. Before 2 in the afternoon. See where I get it from? Represent!!

I know I ordinarily don't get into current events on my blog. This is mostly because I have to deal with it enough at work, but this must be said. Billary!! Bill and Hillary. I'm talking to you. I DO NOT appreciate you making this a race issue. That tells me when you see a black person, you don't see a person, you see a BLACK person. You play dirty. That means me, my father and anyone else I can find and convince WILL NOT BE VOTING FOR YOU UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. BILL!! I expected better from you. I liked you as a president. Mostly because my parents liked you. Now I'm thoroughly disgusted. Don't call my house this election. Oh yeah and don't think we don't all know you would SO be in Obama's corner if Hillary wasn't in this.

Barack. Stop falling into their traps. Stay above their trash talking and do what you came here to do: win the Democratic nomination. By letting them drag you into race crap-- and THE PRODUCERS AT CNN KNOW THEY'RE WRONG FOR ASKING YOU IF BILL CLINTON WAS THE FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT-- you're letting them win. I bet Toni Morrison never thought those words would come back to bite so hard. Tongue in cheek or not. How many times will that piece be spun out of control for the rest of time? Over it. Oh yeah and Rudy? Go ahead and drop out. It's over. THANK GOD!! You were never my mayor. If your constituents can't stand you, there's a reason. Talk about a biting article? Wow!! The NYTimes can't stand you, honey, which I'm sure is not a surprise.