1.31.2008

ALIVE.

I'm re-reading EatPrayL.ove since it was so helpful the last time. I'm pretty sure I can continue to read it once a week and still find new things to love about it. I won't. But if I did, I could. I have a stack of books on my bed. Yes, there is a mini bookstore in my bed.

Some are books I'm re-reading (first two on the left stack), others I'm reading for the first time (bottom of stack one, 2nd on stack 2), one is a daily devotional (top book), and the bottom two on the right stack are my new purchases. Yay!! And of course the tissue box since I'm Miss Allergies, but not nearly as bad as they used to be. I used to be continually snotty the first 17, yes SEVENTEEN years of my life. I couldn't sneeze without needing at least 2 tissues ALL.YEAR.LONG. It was horrendous and my cousins loved to make fun of me for it. Brats. The first time I sneezed without needing even one tissue, I was in college. I tell you no lies. It was SUCH a momentous occasion that I called my mother to tell her about it! Lol. I don't remember her reaction but I'm sure it was like, "Ok, whatever." It's happened many times since, but I still always have tissues in my car and in my room. My parents always have them in their cars as well. That's a non-negotiable.

Anyway, I woke up at 4:30 this morning and started reading. It happens nearly every Thursday and Friday. This means I'm up at 4:30 in the morning 7 days a week and not because I had such a wild night that I haven't been to sleep. No. My sleep pattern is THAT jacked up by the hours I've had for the last two years that I usually go to bed by 7 p.m. and am up by 4:30. This is a great part of the reason I've become very comfortable being alone. I'm home alone a lot. At first, when I actually knew people here, I made sure I got out of the house regularly. Now that they've all moved away, I don't force the issue. Growing up I didn't mind being alone because my sister liked to play outside and play games. I preferred to be indoors (didn't like to sweat and it was always hot) and reading a book.

Away from home I was a social butterfly (shocking, I know). Loved crowds and had lots of friends. On the playground in elementary school and at lunch in middle and high schools, I would flit from group to group. None of them understood how I liked the other. In college, same thing. I would dorm hop and room hop in the dorms visiting all my friends. I became close to the drankin patnah (yes you must spell it like that) because 1) we had 6 of our 7 classes together and 2) we were always up at 3 in the morning. I already told you walking through the union with me was for some a nightmare, others a chore and still others just a day in the life of Jameil! Lol. For those who were wondering and don't know yet, it's pronounced ((juh-mell)). (We put parentheses around pronouncers at work.) Everywhere I go, I know people. And that's how I like it.

That's why living in Pittsburgh has been, to say the least, a challenge for me. I only know people I work with and my dad (who doesn't know many people here either and he's lived here for 6 years). It's not as easy to make friends when you're an adult. But I've come to accept it and not really even care. I know the reason none of my friends lived in Charlotte until after I moved away is because if they had been there, I would've had a reason to never leave. I would've NEVER LEFT if all of the people who are there now had been there when I finally stepped out on a limb and moved somewhere I would've NEVER in a million years imagined I would live. Pittsburgh. What?!? Even the name sounds horrid. But it's not a horrible place. Some places are actually really pretty and I'm even finding my own little spots that I love and feel comfortable in. But it's still not me. Nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here... and yet I do.

I feel the same way about Atlanta but for different reasons (obviously). And now that I've lived in Pittsburgh, I actually might be able to live in the A. Matter of fact, now that I've lived here, I'm pretty sure I could live in any top 10 market except Beantown. Too cold and the people are too obnoxious. Especially Pats fans. GO GIANTS!! And I could care less about their team but I can't stand their SuperB.owl opponent. I'd definitely visit because I liked it when I went but no thanks on living there. I know Chicago is cold but it's so fabulous, who cares?! I've never been there, but a city with a TWO WEEK food fest? I'm there.

In EatPrayLo.ve, the author and a friend determine every city and every person has a word that defines who they are. For Rome, they said it was SEX, for New York, ACHIEVE, for L.A., SUCCESS. And on and on. I think my word is ALIVE. Because I just love it. I love living and going and doing. Life is exciting! Especially because I'm single and full of FABULOSITY! Which could clearly also be my word. I would've never thought I'd actually like to shop alone, watch movies alone and even eat alone, but I do! I told Stace I was going to do a post about not being social and she got offended. Like how dare you call yourself anti-social!? Lol. So cute. She said, "It's not you, you live in Pittsburgh." I know and I would never go as far as to say I'm anti-social but like La and Rashan (except he really is admittedly anti! lol) have said, being alone lets you know how much you enjoy your own company. Allows me to wallow in the fabulosity. Can't you feel the life bubbling out of my every post and comment? But maybe I have two words at this juncture. Some days I hate being alone for everything and not knowing anyone anywhere. And other days, like today, I wake up from a dream about being shot at and instinctively dodging every bullet before it was fired, only being grazed by one, and it makes me not think of almost dying, but happy to be ALIVE. What's your word?

Who's the beautiful baby, you ask? ME!!! Awww!

19 comments:

Sparkling Red said...

Aw, who's a little cutie? I love baby pictures. Mine always make me feel old because they're all in black and white.

Eat Pray Love is a fab book. I loved it and I also read "The Last American Man" by the same author, which was amazing too. I wish I had more time to read!

The Ink said...

Im reading Devil and Dave Chappelle by William Jelani Cobb after racing through Sellout by Randall Kennedy in 72 hours.

I was born and raised in Pittsburgh and I can at this moment, there are FOUR people that I know that I would legitimately consider hanging with.

You are one of them.


Pittsburgh is a lovely town to visit but it creates socially dysfunctional people. I aint really sure why, but the provincial nature of its natives has something to do with it.

1969 said...

You were a cute little baby. Aww.

So yes, Alive is definitely a good word to describe you. Quite fitting.

I don't know what my word is....probably POSITIVE. I stay happy.

the joy said...

Aw, look a baby jam! Its so weird how pale babies are... I was so light, lol.

My word is immerse. I think I throw my self into every situation, not necessarily enthusiasticaly, but what ever emotion I'm having I feel it fully.

jameil1922 said...

red... lol. that's on the list! i always make time to read girl! i don't know where i would be w/o books.

ink... i knew i should've asked my bloggers for book suggestions!! pittsburgh. sigh. def. has a lot to do w/the natives. very very provincial. closed-minded. unkind toward outsiders.

1969... awww! thx! i think positive is okay for you but there's something better. that's not quite all-encompassing enough. something to do w/discernment needs to be in your name.

joy... immerse is perfect for you!

Sha Boogie said...

You have officially broken my heart....FOREVER!!! No love for Beantown? How could you not love us! Today it is a balmy 35 degrees, ohhhh. And sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but we are already planning the celebration parade. For what, you ask? Oh, the superbowl we plan on winning this Sunday. GO PATS!!!!!!! Was that obnoxious enough for you?..lol

Sandy C. said...

OH! What a cutie pie!
Did I just read you doggin' on Beantown? It is ridiculously cold here... And the fans are a bit insane...Nevermind, I don't blame you.

I don't know what word I am. But whatever it is, I'm sure it changes by the hour.

CNEL said...

Glad to know I'm not the only person who loves books.

HaHa love you for the pronouncer in parentheses no less.

Chicago I love, can't wait to visit in the summer. I think you'd like it. It does have cold, but it def has seasons. But the abundance of cultures makes it worth it.

I so agree with the statement, "being alone lets you know how much you enjoy your own company."

Honey-Libra said...

Awww that lil leg tucked under lol like your posing

Rashan Jamal said...

That was a messed up dream.. I'd tell you about mine, but you know... you're a blog prude.

I really do enjoy my own company. Whenever I think about branching out and meeting new people, I come across someone crazy and retreat again.

You can do the A? We got enough news stations for you. Come on down.

Desy said...

Beautiful baby pic-

I was just struggling with this 'alone' status over christmas break from grad school. I didn't have to work at the hospital and I didn't have any classes, so I was home, wrapped up in the four walls of my house. It was really quite enlightening. I'm not gonna lie, I've always enjoyed my own company (been an avid solo movie and sometimes dinner consumer for years now), however I had always interacted with people at other points in the day (when I worked full time). But the holiday thing was something far more than I thought I would have been able to chew... but I did it; and DEEPLY enjoyed it. I read abundantly, slept just the same, and cleaned my house to the point the corners glistened. My friend told me "Girl, enjoy it while you have it because before you know it, you'll forget what it feels like to enjoy your own company'- mother of 2...

Stacie von Kutieboots said...

that looks like an anne geddes (sp?) ad!! so cute!!

i think after Pitts, you could DEF do the A! the YBP quotient alone (a big thing for me) is enough for me to move there. then i realize its "cold".

i wonder what my word would be?? remember when we were eating brekky and deciding our punctuation marks? You were '!' and I was pondering for so long that you were like, "you are soooo a '?'" LOL!

jameil1922 said...

sha... there's that obnoxious beaner in you.

sandy... thx! you're from miami! i know you know!! lolol.

cnel... i'm almost positive i'd like it.

honey... girl i've been posing since birth! there's proof!

rj... Lawd Jesus. like you need another reason to be a recluse. eh. the a. i think cali needs to be my next stop.

desy... aww! thx! ok i DEFINITELY don't like holidays alone. that's depressing. its not supposed to feel like a regular day. but if i can go to the gym, its okay.

stace... i used to love those! stop it w/the cold. you know that makes me angry. i think your word could be "roots?" with the question mark!!! hahahahaha. mine is with a period, yours with a question mark! love it! what was that other name i came up for you yesterday?

Erica C. said...

I'm reading The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama right now. It's pretty good read so far.

Awww you were adorable!!

Liz said...

You are "alive" -- definitely the word for you.

It's good to learn to be by yourself because so many people can't do it and surround themselves with idiots just so they can have someone to pay attention to them.

And I love that you have the books in the bed. Now I don't feel so bad!

One word for me? I have no idea. My husband says, "sparkle".

jameil1922 said...

erica... it was a bit too political for me. i wasn't in the mood so i put it down. thanks!

liz... thx!! sparkling is a delightful word for you!! i can't imagine having books in bed and sharing a bed! that's hilarious! your poor hubby. hahahahaha. i know this whole experience in pittsburgh is preparing me for something bigger.

Karamale said...

rio: sex
sao paulo: sex
paris: sex
santo domingo: sex
london: sex

...oh wait, i think that's probably because i've had sex in all those places. im sucha hoar.

jameil1922 said...

dirty boy.

yet another black guy said...

awww, so CUUUUTE!