ALIVE.

I'm re-reading EatPrayL.ove since it was so helpful the last time. I'm pretty sure I can continue to read it once a week and still find new things to love about it. I won't. But if I did, I could. I have a stack of books on my bed. Yes, there is a mini bookstore in my bed.

Some are books I'm re-reading (first two on the left stack), others I'm reading for the first time (bottom of stack one, 2nd on stack 2), one is a daily devotional (top book), and the bottom two on the right stack are my new purchases. Yay!! And of course the tissue box since I'm Miss Allergies, but not nearly as bad as they used to be. I used to be continually snotty the first 17, yes SEVENTEEN years of my life. I couldn't sneeze without needing at least 2 tissues ALL.YEAR.LONG. It was horrendous and my cousins loved to make fun of me for it. Brats. The first time I sneezed without needing even one tissue, I was in college. I tell you no lies. It was SUCH a momentous occasion that I called my mother to tell her about it! Lol. I don't remember her reaction but I'm sure it was like, "Ok, whatever." It's happened many times since, but I still always have tissues in my car and in my room. My parents always have them in their cars as well. That's a non-negotiable.

Anyway, I woke up at 4:30 this morning and started reading. It happens nearly every Thursday and Friday. This means I'm up at 4:30 in the morning 7 days a week and not because I had such a wild night that I haven't been to sleep. No. My sleep pattern is THAT jacked up by the hours I've had for the last two years that I usually go to bed by 7 p.m. and am up by 4:30. This is a great part of the reason I've become very comfortable being alone. I'm home alone a lot. At first, when I actually knew people here, I made sure I got out of the house regularly. Now that they've all moved away, I don't force the issue. Growing up I didn't mind being alone because my sister liked to play outside and play games. I preferred to be indoors (didn't like to sweat and it was always hot) and reading a book.

Away from home I was a social butterfly (shocking, I know). Loved crowds and had lots of friends. On the playground in elementary school and at lunch in middle and high schools, I would flit from group to group. None of them understood how I liked the other. In college, same thing. I would dorm hop and room hop in the dorms visiting all my friends. I became close to the drankin patnah (yes you must spell it like that) because 1) we had 6 of our 7 classes together and 2) we were always up at 3 in the morning. I already told you walking through the union with me was for some a nightmare, others a chore and still others just a day in the life of Jameil! Lol. For those who were wondering and don't know yet, it's pronounced ((juh-mell)). (We put parentheses around pronouncers at work.) Everywhere I go, I know people. And that's how I like it.

That's why living in Pittsburgh has been, to say the least, a challenge for me. I only know people I work with and my dad (who doesn't know many people here either and he's lived here for 6 years). It's not as easy to make friends when you're an adult. But I've come to accept it and not really even care. I know the reason none of my friends lived in Charlotte until after I moved away is because if they had been there, I would've had a reason to never leave. I would've NEVER LEFT if all of the people who are there now had been there when I finally stepped out on a limb and moved somewhere I would've NEVER in a million years imagined I would live. Pittsburgh. What?!? Even the name sounds horrid. But it's not a horrible place. Some places are actually really pretty and I'm even finding my own little spots that I love and feel comfortable in. But it's still not me. Nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here... and yet I do.

I feel the same way about Atlanta but for different reasons (obviously). And now that I've lived in Pittsburgh, I actually might be able to live in the A. Matter of fact, now that I've lived here, I'm pretty sure I could live in any top 10 market except Beantown. Too cold and the people are too obnoxious. Especially Pats fans. GO GIANTS!! And I could care less about their team but I can't stand their SuperB.owl opponent. I'd definitely visit because I liked it when I went but no thanks on living there. I know Chicago is cold but it's so fabulous, who cares?! I've never been there, but a city with a TWO WEEK food fest? I'm there.

In EatPrayLo.ve, the author and a friend determine every city and every person has a word that defines who they are. For Rome, they said it was SEX, for New York, ACHIEVE, for L.A., SUCCESS. And on and on. I think my word is ALIVE. Because I just love it. I love living and going and doing. Life is exciting! Especially because I'm single and full of FABULOSITY! Which could clearly also be my word. I would've never thought I'd actually like to shop alone, watch movies alone and even eat alone, but I do! I told Stace I was going to do a post about not being social and she got offended. Like how dare you call yourself anti-social!? Lol. So cute. She said, "It's not you, you live in Pittsburgh." I know and I would never go as far as to say I'm anti-social but like La and Rashan (except he really is admittedly anti! lol) have said, being alone lets you know how much you enjoy your own company. Allows me to wallow in the fabulosity. Can't you feel the life bubbling out of my every post and comment? But maybe I have two words at this juncture. Some days I hate being alone for everything and not knowing anyone anywhere. And other days, like today, I wake up from a dream about being shot at and instinctively dodging every bullet before it was fired, only being grazed by one, and it makes me not think of almost dying, but happy to be ALIVE. What's your word?

Who's the beautiful baby, you ask? ME!!! Awww!