The Fat Tour

This morning one of my coworkers asked me if I knew what fastna.cht is. (Same one who was boosting my head up.) Some PA D.utch tradition that's essentially the same thing as Mardi Gras but you eat doughnuts instead of a king cake. Whatever. Yesterday we were talking about our childhoods and she told me they used to go to the south every summer including Mississippi and South Carolina. I was like "Mississippi!?!? You grew up in PA! What are you doing in MS!?" "My mom loves plantations."


SKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!


Stop the record. Er what? Yo. How do you look a black person in the face and tell her your mom likes plantations? I would rather you lie to me. OR since after that you told me she had friends in Natchez (one of the places my mom lived), you could've just left it at that. But no, you had to tell me about your mom's love of plantations. PLANTATIONS?!?! You mean that place where my ancestors were forced into unpaid labor for centuries, not allowed to read and repeatedly raped? Just making sure.

My response other than raised eyes, "Wow. My mom's from Mississippi and I've NEVER been to a plantation." Considering the fact that I'm from North Carolina, and not far from the SC border, I probably grew up not too far from some. Still never seen one. You know how I feel about Colonial Williamsburg. Then today same coworker said, "My father has one of those cars [Duke.s of H.azzard] with a Dixie flag on it." This time I just raised my eyebrows and walked out of the room. And I've met her parents. It just makes me wonder what they were saying about me behind my back. Bet it started with an n.

What I've previously said about the confederate flag: "it's a symbol of racism in that it was proudly waved when fighting to keep Black people enslaved, burn and bomb Black homes and crosses in Black yards as intimidation and during the lynchings of Black men. It is also currently used by skinheads and members of the KKK. If that's the "history" you want to remember and the legacy you want to uphold, please allow me to distance myself from you. Thanks."

Ugh.

Anyway while looking at her little Dutch tradition, they referenced Krispy Kreme and suddenly I had to have some. YUM!!! But they're so out of the way here that you have to PLAN to go to them. So I said to myself, "Self! It's my Friday; let's do a fat tour!! Go to the fattening places and eat fattening food!" Mmmmmm. First I got my case of Honey Brown. Then I headed to out of the way KK for my half a dozen glazed donuts (polished 2 of those bad boys off in the car), then out of the way SONIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've had neither of these in many many months. They just added Sonic to Pittsburgh in the last few months and I hadn't been yet. Cheeseburger, tater tots and limeade!!!!! YAY!!

You know how I have this psycho schedule, right? I go to bed around 4 p.m. and wake up around 11:45 Monday through Wednesday. Off 'days' are Thursday and Friday. Except I have to be there by 11:30 Friday night so I usually go to bed around 1:30 p.m. Laaaaaaaaaaame! It has turned me into a very boring person. (I read some of my old posts yesterday. Ouch. Very painful. The complete reason I didn't do a recap of 2007. Even some from 2006.)

Anyway, I put my phone on vibrate and stick it outside my closed door when I go to sleep. For some reason there is no silent on my phone. This way I don't miss any calls and the phone doesn't disturb me when people call. Yes I can hear it vibrate if it's in the room. I wouldn't necessarily classify myself as a light sleeper but I'm definitely not a heavy one unless I'm extremely sleepy. AND no matter how deeply I'm sleeping I can always hear my name. I used to scare my friends in college because in the dorm I never locked my door when I was in the room unless I was getting dressed so they would usually just walk in. If I was sleeping, they'd just call my name and I'd immediately wake up. That's on the off chance I didn't hear the door open. OR if I was sleeping and they were in there and it was time for the end of my nap. Crazy times man. College was so fun.

"Last night" aka around midnight, I woke up and checked my missed calls. I had one from G (gym guy)! He wanted to see if I would work out this afternoon or evening. I called him back this morning to say sure but we changed it to tomorrow morning. So I have a morning gym date... hence today's fat tour! Lol. Actually the fat tour was already in place when I thought we had an afternoon workout. I said, "I'll just eat until my heart's content and then go show off." Except he keeps testin my gangsta!! He's like, "Yeah I usually run on Thursdays but I don't know if you can keep up." Woooord?!?! He knows I don't do running but I said, "Well maybe I'll do it anyway just because you think I can't!!" Hahahaha. He liked that. I'm lying. I'll do it a little... well we'll see. He goes extra hard. You work out 6 days a week to my 3. You have fun with that.