No Country for Us All

My dad and I saw the movie last night. I had heard it was gory so I thought I was prepared. I wasn't. How can you really ever prepare yourself for the worst of humanity? Working in news gives you glimpses of it daily. That's part of the reason I watch so many comedies and can even get into a chick flick or two. I still cannot watch a poorly-made movie, but I don't want to see further evidence of the existence of sociopaths and psychopaths. I get that at least 9 hours a day, no thank you very much.

Before the movie we went to a bar to eat. 70 beers on tap. My dad got the arrogant b.astard just because he wanted to say the name. I already what he would get and why when I saw the name. I don't remember what I got but it had berry undertones. I like my beer to taste like beer. I don't like berry and citrus flavors running amok throughout. It wasn't terrible but I would sidestep it if there were other non-light and likely non-domestic options.

We shiver walked (you know where it's so cold you will do anything to stay warm even while walking-- folding into yourself, shivering) in the windy, 17 degree temperatures to the ticket counter. The guy at the window said, "How old is he?" That was an odd question. I've never had anyone ask me that. So I said, "70...5..." and collapsed into giggles. He started laughing too and since he gave my dad the child's rate, I guess he believed me. I couldn't stop laughing. My dad didn't hear the question and said, "Why are you young people laughing at me." Which of course made me laugh even harder. We got our candy-- gummy bears for me, sour patch kids for him-- and went to the movie. We considered going to see The B.ucket List instead but went with the award winner.

At this point, my mind was already going a mile a minute. When I start laughing, I'll stop to collect myself, then start thinking about whatever I was laughing about again and start back up. It never fails. I did that yesterday until I was struck with a realization. My dad's 61 (and 1/2... we just celebrated our half birthdays! (by ignoring them) half birthday's are foolish). I thought, "What if he only lives to 75?" Then I thought, "Well, I'll still have 14 years left with him. That's not bad." Then I immediately followed that with, "That's not long enough, though. That's no time." It was only later, I'm not sure how much later, that I realized when you have good parents, no length of time is ever long enough. I'm glad I instituted Daddy Daughter night more than two years ago. Sometimes it makes me want to never leave.

After the movie, D asked, "What was the point of the movie and what did the title mean?" He didn't like it at all. He's harder on movies than I am which I know some people who know me are baffled by. The ending was terrible but I understand the title. When you're old you realize how different the world is from when you were a child or even a young adult. The lawlessness, differences, lack of respect and morality all begin to overwhelm you to the point where you feel out of place wherever you are. And I realized, if that is the case, perhaps there is no country for us all.


Playing Catch-Up

Why did I forget the craziest thing of all when talking about my day yesterday!? I was wearing these boots right?

Okay. The scene is set. I get compliments every time I wear them. (No, I don't always wear such eye-popping combinations. Lol.) That's fine. Yesterday though? INSANE! I'm sitting in bible study, taking notes, listening and paying attention when I hear over the speakers, "Oh. my. goodness! Those are such cute boots!!" It was my pastor!!

O.k. my church is pretty big. There are more than 10,000 members so he has to use a mic even for noon bible study because it's in the sanctuary and there are still at least 75 people there. Then he says, "Can y'all see these boots? Stand up for me. They're like rainbows! They're too cute!" I stand up and do a mini fashion show. What? It's who I am. But after I sat down I was suddenly shy and even a bit embarrassed!

I blend in at church and get lost in the crowd. I'm very used to doing that in Pittsburgh because it's how my life is here. I don't mind it but there was definitely a point in my life where I would have. I never blended into crowds in high school, college or at church in Charlotte. I always knew and got along with tons of people. I've never been shy. I might not make the first move to speak to someone but once they speak, I can make people instantly feel comfortable. I'm very big on the spirit of inclusion. Unless you're lame. Lol. If you're a friend of a friend, you get a pass even if it's only temporary.

After bible study in the office, everyone who came through had to comment on the boots. I don't know any of these people so this is very weird to suddenly be on display again. Today I wore them again (MORE SNOW!! GO AWAY!!! 5+ inches in the last two days.) and when people commented on them I felt myself shrinking. Lol. Such an odd sensation! I'm not worried because I know Jameil of yore is merely hibernating. Can you imagine the world when she comes out again? Oh my word! Or to quote sha, "Oh My Lanta!" THAT CRACKS ME UP!!

Kidneys. I'd like to keep mine. I just found out another one of my uncles is getting a kidney transplant. This is uncle number 3. My dad's 2nd brother. One of my mom's brothers also had a kidney transplant. One of my first cousins on my dad's side also had one. She's only 31. Her brother gave her one of his kidneys about 2 years ago. Another of my dad's brothers also has kidney problems where he needs to take a lot of medication to keep them from failing. My dad also says several of his first cousins have had kidney issues. I guess at this point I should explain that I have 8 uncles, 4 aunts and 36 first cousins. The majority are on my dad's side because he has 4 brothers and 4 sisters. His father was the youngest of 13. My dad is squarely in the middle and SUCH a middle child (that article is spinning it very positively) except for the lots of loyal friends thing. He's a bit of a loner. Middle and only children are weird.

Remember how I told you news people were adrenaline junkies? I was MIGHTY cracked up today because the St.eelers' long-time broadcaster died while we were on the air. I produced more than an hour and a half without a commercial break. If you don't know anything about this town, this is a HUGE deal. The show actually went really well and it was all done on the fly. We had statements from the team owners, phone reports from former players and fellow broadcasters, live interviews with fans, etc. etc. I was really proud when I walked out of the control room. You know how I feel about death. I think fitting tributes and funerals are very important. This funeral will be private but I'm sure there will be several huge memorial services. It's so necessary.

I saw this funeral procession yesterday. There were only about 10 cars in it. I was on the phone with my line sister and started yelling. I was like, "I WOULD BE SO HEATED IF I DIED AND THERE WERE ONLY 10 CARS!!" Wow. But I know there wouldn't be that few now. If I lived to a million (or a 100, whatever), I think I'd be like those ladies at my church in Charlotte who have 7 million faux relatives if I happen to not have children (which I can't even imagine). I already have a ridiculous amount of non-relatives who are almost like family at this point of my life. I guess the point of this post is for all of you to live life to the fullest. I had a great time at bible study yesterday. I absorbed some fantastic messages.

I can't go to Miami because tickets are about $300. Last time I went they were $150. This time it's spring break time. Ah well. I did get my two new bikinis today, tho! Vickie was having a sale and I love her bikinis! I bought 2 and with shipping and handling they only came to $25. They're adorable! My dad asked where the rest of them were. Lol. I have a bikini body and you'd best believe I'm showing it off the Miami way whenever I go!

I did not do the chili cook-off. I got tired and went to sleep. Plus my dad loves my chili so I will make it for him tomorrow. He doesn't know that's what I'm going to do so he'll be really excited! :) Tonight will be daddy-daughter night because I'm going to my bible class tomorrow night. We're also going to see this movie tonight. And... new Project Runway!! Part 1 of the finale!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I may watch it 4 or 5 times. Lol.



Have you ever had so much to do that you decide not to do any of it? I'm thisclose right now. It's not like I have sooo much to do but IT'S ENOUGH!! Let me take off my hat to parents right now because at this point in my life... pardon me while I take leave of the king's English... I AIN'T GOT THE PATIENCE!! Did anyone ever find that stuff repellent!?!?

And we're back. There were contemplations of going on early this morning at 4:30 instead of 5 because of the snow. I had planned not to go to bible study but decided if God kept us from going on early, I would go to bible study today. I know what you're saying, "Huh uh. I know this chick did not just bargain with God." I did. Knowing it was crazy... but He came through so to church I was headed. First it was lunch time with one of my cool coworkers. I went to the same place I went last week and had the same delish burger with avacado. It was delightful again. Yum and thank you.

Then bible study. Of course I got fabulous things out of it. You always do when you fight not to go. Lol. Afterwards I helped out in the front office for an hour until the boredom rotted small slices of my brain away. *whispering* "Sliced up! Wham Wham!" Name that song! While at work, coworkers reminded me that I signed up for the chili cook-off and IT'S TOMORROW!! So I had to go to the grocery store to get the ingredients for my fab chili. That was a bit more of a hassle than I wanted. I also had to go buy a pack of beer for said chili. I decided I deserved one since we are going on early tomorrow and I got some work to do. Well now I'm lazy and bargaining with myself for when I'll actually make it. Bah. "Obligations" are soooo 2007. (3rd large paragraph) And now I must go!


Peevin' Me Cerebrally

Some of you get on my nerves. We can make this quick because there are just a few things I should get out now and then we can move on.

Men. I know you don't have the sense of smell we do. And I know my nose is almost the sup.er sniffer but PLEASE!! DO. NOT. BATHE. IN. YOUR. COLOGNE. You stink. Thanks. Management.

P.S. You're coming to work. Really? Really? We don't want to smell you. Soap only.
*Blogger's note: I looooooove a man who smells like soap. I will SO sniff a soap-scented man all day. Perhaps its good my co-workers don't smell like soap... HOWSOMEVER!! Bathing in cologne? Not a good look.

"Exclusive." "BREAKING!!"
Television stations over-use this term. I am tired of you calling in interview with a political candidate or a star promoting her upcoming tour or concert series an exclusive. We. know. Rocky. and. Billary. are. talking. to. EVERYONE!!

Same thing with breaking news. If it happened at 4 this morning and your show comes on at 8 p.m., I'm sorry to tell you, but it must be said... You have missed the breaking category. It doesn't count and we all know it. You've had all day to get to the scene and get the story from all angles. Don't lie to me. Misuse of both of these terms damages credibility, ruins integrity and most importantly, it annoys me.

Crabs in a barrel.
Don't hate on someone because you want what they have. It's unnecessary and it's not cute. Begrudging someone doesn't give you the joy you think you lost from what they gained. Whatever it is you didn't get wasn't meant for you. But by acting like that you are blocking what is. Now stop. We are not amused. (Everyone who notices and most importantly, GOD!!)



That Itch

I've had it to travel for months now. Now I'm getting that itch to go out. Since I don't get weekends, and have not seen a fruitful Wednesday or Thursday night gathering, it's been quite a while since I had a good night on the town. Once we get out of February, we'll be great! March 19th, I'm going to see N.erd with new cool coworker. I'm listening to their myspa.ce right now to get myself in the mood. I need to learn their new stuff so I'm not just standing there singing Rock.star, B.rain, SheLikestoMo.ve, Provide.r and Lap.dance. I guess that's more than most people but still.

I always do this before concerts. You have to make sure you look like a fan so they ask you up on stage. Lol. No, I've never been on stage but I've seen 112 in concert 4xs and met them twice. I used to be a huge fan. My first "job" out of college was with a film company in Charlotte. I use the term job loosely because I wasn't getting paid but I was producing documentaries which was right up my alley. It was fun but I eventually had to leave to actually make money. Pesky consumer economy. Anyway, while there I got to interview JohnL.egend the week before he performed on the Gramm.y's for the first time. He was cool. His concert was fabulous! It was sold out in a small venue and I didn't have a ticket so I just stayed inside after the interview. Lol. Gotta work your way inside baby!

My first concert? Bud.weiser Superfest: MJB, Dr.uHill (when they were hot), G.inuwine (FANTASTIC performer), Aal.iyah & Bon.eThugz. It was hot! I went with my middle school crew and we had a blast! In high school I saw Out.kast with Laur.yn Hill. You already know that concert was on point!! N.as even made a guest appearance with L.Boogie. Youtu.be is ruining my life right now. It's not coming up on my computer so I can't link to these songs I mentioned previously. I guess that means you'll have to find them on your own. Sorry!

Back on top... the week after N.erd is MIAMI!!!!! MOJITOS!!!!! HOMIES!!!!! BIKINIS!!!!! BLUE BLACK TANS!!! (thanks Didd.y!) Two weeks after that I go home! Charlotte or bust baby! Then the next month is my sister's college graduation. I don't know what June or July hold yet. August? THE BIRTHDAY!! YAY!! I plan on being in Cali. Everyone come celebrate!!!!!!!!!! Pittsburgh just ain't worth livin' if you can't leave regularly.

New voice post!


So SO Close

I went to Burger King and had to check my bag before I left the drive-thru. I'd been thinking about fries for about 15 minutes straight again. When the woman handed me the bag it felt heavy. I was like if there are fries in here I will have to give them back. Because if they come home with me? I'M EATIN 'EM!!

But there were no fries so I'm still good. Several someones have asked if potato chips, hash browns, onion rings or baked potatoes counted. Um NO! I don't like onion rings that much and none of the others give me the satisfaction of french fries. I don't even want to look in the direction of ChicFilA right now. I may run red lights to get to the drive-thru if I do. I know what y'all are thinking. What is wrong with her!?!? I love fries but I'm more obsessed because I can't have them. Like Stace with her music. We're hitting our rough patches! But at least we don't have to go through it alone!

Speaking of Stace. This chick does NOT like to talk on the phone. Yes, we can talk on the phone for hours, and have on multiple occasions sat on the phone to watch tv together or of course read InStyle. Sometimes I get tired of having to track her down. But email? She'll tell me her whole life story via email. We've had some ridiculously deep conversations via email then she doesn't want to talk about them on the phone or in person. Uhhh... ok. But most importantly we talk about y'all. And we talk junk, too!! Hahahahahaha!! It's hilarious. I love it. And some of my bloggers are getting on board with the junk talking which let me tell you CRACKS me up!! Hahahahahahahahaha. Oh y'all know how sometimes I'll be laughing and laughing, then stop and laugh some more? I've tried to calm myself down but am still thinking about it and cracking up!! Hahahahaha. Good times, good times. Now seriously if you can tell me where that's from I will love you for the rest of my life!! Be specific!


Oh Dinner

Yes, I went to Cas.bah yesterday. I didn't end up getting what was most appealing to me, instead settling on the short rib ravioli with Swiss chard, oyster mushrooms, roasted shallots and gremolata. It was fair. The chef sent out an amuse bouche of a wild rice salad with diced shallots and a sliver of smoked salmon, served with a roasted red pepper sauce. My mouth wasn't terribly amused. Too much shallot.

The best part was the drink I ordered! It's been a while since I ordered a non-alcoholic beverage, but since I was headed back to church after dinner, I decided against alcohol. It's never hot to walk around church smelling like a whiskey still. My mom used to say that when I would come back home after going out. "You smell like a whisky still." In retrospect I ask, how, praytell, do you know what a whiskey still smells like? I love liquids. This drink was called an orange sunrise RoyRo.gers. YUM!! It had orange juice, something else and grenadine in the bottom. Delicious!! I could've drank those all day long.

This place didn't have fries so I wasn't tempted but they've been on my mind. I keep checking the date of Easter to see when Lent is over. I'm also breathing deeply and stocking up! The church class I went to gave us 4 books. Adding to the book backlog. I IMMEDIATELY felt the need to read another of the books sitting in my room unread or partially read. I am concurrently reading at least 4 books. One overwhelms or bores me, I go to the next and on and on. It's quite much! I want some food. I was telling fave roomie the other day I am always thinking about my next meal even while eating. The food has to be extraordinary for me to eat in the moment. It can happen, but if the food is just good, I'm thinking about the next thing I eat. I'm so internally fat and I love it. Oh yeah, yesterday I also started Joy's thing of just doing ab work when I think about it. LOVE! I figure at this rate I can start out with 150 crunches/day and work up to 1,000. Why not? New voice post!


Project Runway: Online Challenge & Mindspacing Day 2

No, I didn't watch the reunion show. Reunion shows aren't my thing. 1969 sent me lots of emails that made me want to watch it when it comes on again tonight at 9. Since Grey's isn't back yet. WRITERS STRIKE OVER, LET'S GET SOME NEW EPS!! Oooh! SNL is back this week! Yay!!!

Back to the point. I did, however, watch the online collections for our PR people and I just have one indignant question. Did someone hold them all at gunpoint and make them use tartan? Because I think I'm going to vomit. Leopard and plaid are the two patterns I have the most issues with. They are very tricky and should not be attempted by the fashion uninitiated... but TOO OFTEN ARE!! Yes, some of these designers with their outlandishly ugly designs fall into the category of fashion uninitiated. If you don't know what you're doing (and everyone thinks they do), PLEASE STOP!!! Ugh. I am tired of being ocularly accosted because you can not be bothered to ask someone with some sense if you look crazy. I will tell you. YES!! You also should not ask me if this makes you look fat because if it does, I will absolutely tell you so. "Ooh honey... *nose scrunched* that's not for you. Put that back."

Busy day today-- my Saturday. I need an oil change badly so I must do that. Then I'm helping with the youth who come to the church in the afternoons from 2-4:30. Then I'm treating myself to dinner at another place by the people who do K.aya and MadM.ex. This one is called Cas.bah and is not far from my church. It's a bit pricey for dinner but tell me that menu doesn't want to make you sell your first born!! El.even is calling my name, too with that tavern menu!! I'm literally salivating right now. If Stace comes back, I'll take her to So.ba. Y'all know I don't do Asian-inspired cuisine but her Asian pimp sometimes lets her eat cooked food. She has to get prior permission, though. I got distracted by food. After dinner, I head back to church for my first class! Yay! I've been wanting a class for a while. Something to supplement church.

I'm getting more than a bit annoyed with church services. I'm out of work from 10:10/10:15 until service starts at 11:45. Yeah I go to breakfast, but I would rather cut that hour and a half from my life. Then there are at least 20 minutes of singing until we get to the word. I'm sure its way more than 20 now that I think about it. My pastor is an amazing teacher which is the only reason I go back. Now that I will have bible study and Tuesdays and this class on Thursdays maybe I'll go to church services first Sundays. I'll miss it, though. I don't know. It'll work itself out but I would love to be able to go to the 930 service. With the 1145 service, by the time it starts I've already been up more than 12 hours. By the time I get home it's almost 2 or 230 and I have to be back at work at one the next morning. It's tiring.

Back to tomorrow's schedule. After church: gym. There are usually some cuties there that time of night! Lol. Not that I would know seeing as how I haven't been to the gym at night in many moons!! I did another voice post but this one bores me. I may delete it. Rashan!! I know you didn't do a 10 minute voice post!! That better be the best story I've heard in my entire life!!!


Mindspacing It

It's been a while since the last one so you're overdue. Too much in my head. Let's get it all out quickly.

I've added still more internet crack. There's a new site for Real HU Alum, get up on it X! I'm on the listserve for my class and someone posted the site which has rounded up 208 Pirates in the first 48 hours. But of course, its the usual suspects. Everyone from myspace and facebook. People who, like me, are already on the internet too much. Ugh and SIGH! I promise you I started freaking out yesterday about being so connected and having people know my every move 1700 times a day. This morning I was thisclose to leaving the internet for good. Then I realized if I did I might fall so in love with being unplugged that I might never communicate with anyone again. Bah humbug. February 29th is the Blog365 free day and I'm absolutely taking it. I wasn't going to but now its so necessary. My head is about to explode after 113 consecutive days of posting.

Gym. Stop walking around barefoot in the locker room. When your foot falls off, I don't want to hear it. Dudes, don't tap my foot while I'm stretching and you're gasping for breath and say, "You supposed to stretch after you walk or run" with only the faintest of up ticks at the end so I have to guess that was a question. Apparently it was because you respond with, "Oh ok" then bring out the wackest stretches ever. Then when you follow me out of the gym (not another one!!) don't be surprised when I hurry up and break out. No, I haven't seen the first gym stalker since that day.

Anti. When I'm at the gym I really am. I absolutely do not need you to talk to me. I don't want you to talk to me. That's why I have my ipod on and my magazine open, even while walking the track. I did get a "What do you be reading?" (yes, just like that) from some old guy. "Whatever I can get my hands on." Now scram.

Food. (Of course) Could it really be my blog without? A coworker today tells me its true what they say about the way to a guy's heart. I'm all "Uhhhh that's the way to my heart, too!" I'm absolutely down for a chef for a husband! (Number 3.)

Speaking of numbers. You know how on Steve's show they do the countdowns and the people who aren't reading have to sing back "Numba teey-en!"? I absolutely made my coworkers do that when I made a countdown list the other week. HILARIOUS!!

Over snow and snow coverage. If I ever see another flake it will be too soon (particularly considering it's likely snowing right now).

HE WON WISCONSIN!! Hawaii was a given since its his home state, but I didn't think it'd be a more than 70% landslide! Wow!! On another note, some people will make something out of ANYTHING!! Repubs, y'all are driving me bananas!!! Let me clue you in on something seeing as your party lacks diversity of any kind. Some people of other cultures (let that word seep in for a moment. Culllltuuuuuures. Oooh. Got it?) have been so disenfranchised and marginalized for so many years that it is quite difficult to muster up national pride. I said it, too last month. 4th paragraph. (Does this mean Shells reads my blog?!?!)

I watched the shuttle land live this morning and was enthralled! Have y'all ever watched? It's so cool!! I'm absolutely going to adult space camp. And when they get all the kinks worked out of space tourism and bring down the price, I'm doing that, too. I don't like the whole muscles atrophying thing but I would LOVE to do go up in space. So I guess I'll only be there 3 days, yes? Or maybe I'll just orbit the earth a few times and come down. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

You know how the Navy is going to shoot down an old spy satellite? I think this plan is so amazingly renegade and old school wild wild west (space age shoot out and all) that you should only use a Southern accent when referring to it. Some countries think its a way for us to practice our anti-missile defense and maybe this just makes me an American, but I don't see anything wrong with that if it's true and no one gets hurt. But why is there tons and tons of space junk in Earth's orbit?! Wait. So you're telling me we haven't polluted the Earth enough, we now have to leave crap all over the galaxy, too??? I need them (the space forces that be) to get that together.
"I really wanna lose 3 pounds." Tell me you know where that's from. Some of my coworkers have ridiculously unhealthy eating habits. Dairy days: eating only milk and/or yogurt from noon to 6 for 2 days. Come on. Now I did actually say I want to lose 3 lbs. but I was half-joking and hoped the person I was talking to would get it but she's not cool enough. How sad! I don't really want to lose 3 lbs. Maybe 3 and a quarter. I'm not pressed about it, though. I just want my abs to be tight for the trip to Miami next month! Speaking of which... I need to know what hotel we're staying in! I want to be able to roll out of bed onto the beach. I am just losing my last Miami tan so I need to spend even more time in the sun this trip. Can't wait! Do you understand I almost lost my mind when the T.oday Show did a live shot outside my fave Cuban restaurant yesterday!??!?! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! Stace, I hope Dreezy is already arranging which spots we're getting into for free this time, too!!
And lastly, my latest fave commercial.
:41 in is where I just lose it!!!!!!!!!! I'm cracking up!!!


Peer Pressure, Peer Pressure!

May I tell you how glad I am that everyone is jumping on the u.tterz bandwagon!? SO excited. Everyone who has signed up and is now following me, allow me to say YAAAAAAAAAAY!! Those of you who have not, go. get. the. hump. up. outcha back now! OW! I never make predictions about people's voices because I know enough people in tv and radio to know voices rarely match faces. Oddly enough, X sounds EXACTLY like she should. I very easily matched the voice and face. Rashan sounds more Yankee than I thought he would. Diva sounds like she should. All the rest of you I either haven't heard or wasn't striken either way by what your voice sounds like. I hear joy has a voice post! Can't wait!!

Have you ever met a guy/girl with the banging voice and the neck down/butter face? A) Ooooh! He looks goooood! From the neck down. B) Everything about her is cute... but her face. Hahahaha. Both of those crack me up. Speaking of neck down. Why did I see the guy we called neck down in college on tv at the Rocky (I still love you X) rally in Ohio yesterday!? I started to break down that package this morning (pick a soundbite from the rally) and there neck down is nodding next to some local preacher! I was dying laughing! Too funny.

Know what else is funny? I wasn't letting anyone at work get to me today. Sometimes I let them get me all riled up, too. Other days like today, I'm very y'all wanna act up? Fine. But I'm in chill mode. It's much better that way. After work I went to this restaurant called Sto.kes Grill. Unfortunately they don't have a website but y'all know how I am about burgers. I had been needing one in my life. My coworker suggested the restaurant and had a menu so I got to pick what I wanted before I got there. I got the Holstei.n angus burger: cheese, avacado, bacon, diced tomatoes and diced red onion. I usually don't do raw onion but it was like pico de gallo because it was mixed with the tomatoes. It even tasted faintly of lime. My arteries aren't happy but my taste buds and belly are overjoyed!! It was so flavorful I didn't even need ketchup or mustard. I usually slather my burgers with both. I was sold by the avacado and boy was it delightful! I am sooo in love with food. Shout out to food!

I went to Bible study today. You know how people say the more you talk to God, the more you can hear his voice? You know I was not necessarily a skeptic but I want more details on everything. "When you say hear do you mean hear hear or just hear? And is it like a booming voice from heaven or like your conscience? Or what about your neighbor or nagging coworker? I'ma need you to be more specific when you get to dropping ambiguities like 'You can hear God.'" Except now sometimes these thoughts come to my head and I think "Wow!! That could only be God." Its hot and I go, "Thanks G, that's what's up." God likes it when I talk like a b boy. Hahahahahaha.

Today the pastor was talking about spiritual gifts and I thought all of a sudden, "Ooh! I think I have the gift of conversation/comfort." One of my college friends just lost her father to a heart attack. He had been a bit sick but it was still sudden. He was only 68. That's not terribly old. Only 6 years older than my dad. And really there's never a good time to lose one of your parents. I called her the day after the funeral just in case she needed someone to talk to. I knew I didn't know what to say, but I can listen.

She's horrible about communication. I know this and let it slide. We talk via i.m. maybe twice a year, 3xs a year via myspace and next to never on the phone. No matter, it's always like no time has passed when we talk again. When she didn't answer I thought, I'll just leave a message and she'll know I'm there if she needs something. She may never call but she'll know. She called me right back and we talked for an hour. Sometimes she talked about her father, sometimes she just talked about what was going on in her life. Sometimes I added things going on in my life. She thanked me for calling and I had the feeling she felt better when we got off the phone. I felt better too. That's another bible study lesson: sometimes when you think you're ministering (not necessarily conciously or even talking about the bible; sometimes just being there) to other people, you end up ministering to yourself or they end up ministering to you.) HOTNESS!

I also had the vague feeling of becoming one of those church weirdos who's there everytime the doors open. I used to look at my friend Wynel sideways for that like aren't you going a bit hard?? And now I get it! It's so weird to notice your own growth. It's one thing to watch a baby mature. I mean that's bizarre enough! I asked my mom, "What is it like to share your body with someone, let them grow inside you and then to have them be me and Elaina?" She said, "I never thought of it like that, but it's amazing." I bet!

Another friend is a new mommy which means her whole world is her baby. We have been missing each other constantly (and hadn't been talking regularly even before the baby) or she'll answer and say, "Let me call you back" and we don't talk for a week or two weeks. She called me at 2 this morning as she was putting the baby back to sleep. I answered, we talked for 2 minutes, then I told her I would call her back. She answered this morning and we talked for almost an hour and a half about something and nothing. It was great. I thought, "I can do this all the time!" So there it is. As long as you're not whining about nothing I can be a great person to comfort you! Yes, I know that's all relative but I reserve the right to be selective. Hugs for everyone! I feel like Claud today. Muy touchy feely! Lol.


A Bit Disappointed: A Walk Down Memory Lane

There was a guy I "talked to" for 2 years on and off. Give or take a few months. It started with me liking his friend with the unusual name, and the beautiful hair, who was brilliant and also from our home state. I thought they were both cute but the friend, we'll call him, G, was quite to my liking. Until I found out he had a girl. Granted, at this time, I had a boyfriend. A long distance boyfriend. My high school sweetheart. I had no intentions of cheating on him, but I did like to look, and I certainly liked to flirt. The boyfriend had already told me how I could light up a room with my smile so I used that to my advantage. (I know I will get some flack for that sentence!)

It eventually ended with the boyfriend early sophomore year. By that time I'd shifted my attention to G's friend, we'll call him J. I will forever blame G for J. Is that too confusing? Let's give J a full name. Jamal. I kind of like that name. I really like guys named Jamel, as strange as that sounds. I've met more than one cutie whose name was pronounced the same as mine, but spelled differently. Heeeey Jamel! *insert winning smile* Lol.

So Jamal. Very unlike his actual, quite white bread name, but we'll go with it because I've never dated a Jamal. I think I flirted with a Jamal before. I know I flirted with a Jamal before, but I never dated one. I also knew a boy named Jamal who had a friend named Bobby. I called him Bobby Digital. One night my girl had a "surprise" birthday party (she'd asked us to give her one) and all of Bobby Digital's friends came separately and told me he'd been asking about me. That was flattering then weird but mostly flattering. He went to a school about 45 minutes away. It didn't work out.

Back to NC Jamal. Toward the end of sophomore year, his interest in me grew. He gave me his number at the end of the semester and asked me to call him over the summer. He didn't think I would, but one night I was bored. So I did. We talked for hours that night. And the next night. And the next. And the next. For the entire summer, we stayed on the phone for hours. This isn't really anything new for me. I can always keep people on the phone for hours. And usually connect with the type of talkative people who are amenable to such chit chat. The person I don't stay on the phone for hours with is really more of the anomaly.

Jamal and I talked our faces off the entire summer. He was a talker and actually a good listener, too. When we got back to school, it was only natural that we spend some time together in person. We started with walks along the waterfront and around the campus. Hahaha. Not as romantic as it sounds. It could be, I guess, but I loved the water so much I would walk around with anyone. That was not a sign of my affection for you. He had a habit, though, of saying chauvinistic things which never works for me. I would get mad and not talk to him for months, then we'd be cool again, then off again and on again and on and on for 2 years. We would go days or weeks or months without talking.

Finally I lost it for good in September 2003 (fall senior year). Me and my friend went to his house to We were listening to this Luda song (warning: not for young ears and eyes) and arguing. Read the lyrics if you want to understand why I got a more than a little bit upset when he started singing the chorus in my direction. Of course when I react he says, "I wasn't talking about you." I stormed out of his house leaving my friend behind and an alleged hole in the wall. I only heard about it afterwards because I was so busy making an exit. I never saw it so to me it didn't exist. On the way out I said, "If you see me on the street, act like you don't know me. I mean it."

And I was so sincere. Of course he didn't believe me because though I'd never been quite that definite with my choice of words, like I said we had been off and on for 2 years. You know how everyone has that one person they just can't eradicate from their lives? That was Jamal for me. But this time I was serious. When he saw me, he would speak and I would ignore with the "I hear nothing" face and keep walking. He played himself hard in the union on more than one occasion with that one. Since he lived off campus and our majors were completely dissimilar, we rarely saw each other on campus making it even easier to stick to my word.

Fast forward to the day before graduation. We had our last union jam (though it was in the student center and the first union jam freshman year was in the temporary union... no matter) and of course he was there. He was very intoxicated. He tried the whole speaking thing and got ignored again. He grabs my arm and you know the room went dark. Well it was night and we were outside so I'll say I saw red. I told him to take his hands off of me. Dramatic and I don't like scenes so I was pissed about that. He says, "Come on baby," (whoa. don't call me baby.) "You still mad about that?" I can't remember the whole conversation but he tried to get his friends to convince me to talk to him, I refused. I went about my merry way before some things really popped off.

Despite all of this, I didn't see him at homecoming and I was kind of disappointed. Why? Because I've been working out and know the physique is faaaabulous AND I have a job others find impressive. Plus, you know I wanted to make it rain with my business cards. I could've done that right in front of his face. I would've been nice and calm and cordial. It would've been so fabulous. We were with his homie all weekend long! But alas, it was not meant to be. I don't plan on going to homecoming this year so who knows when the opportunity will present itself again. At the time I was a tad disappointed. Now I'm very que sera sera, c'est la vie and who cares! Fabulosa strikes again!


Chit CHAT!!

I'm TIRED!! The preacher was talking for.ev.er. It was good so I didn't even notice until he said "Time just flies." I looked at my watch and then could no longer focus. I was just thinking, "Oh no but wait, its PAST time to go and I've been up for hours on top of hours (on top of hours-- at this point 14)." Prior to church, no one would answer their phones (oh but some girl I did answer hers in church (huh uh. no you didn't.) so I just talked to y'all. VOICE POST! (Also conveniently available on the right side of your screen.) Even though most of you didn't listen to the last one, I forgive you. It's quite alright. I buried the notice at the bottom of a post on African American history. I know that makes folks nervous. Lol. Plus it was a tad long.

I had a delightful breakfast today-- a Spanish scramble with soy chorizo (I know. Sounds oxymoronic to me, too), mushrooms, onion, peppers and black beans; a side of whole wheat toast and potatoes at this place. The black beans are what sold me. Since it didn't come with egg I had them add one of those in as well. It was yummy after I got liberal with the hot sauce. I've never been a hot sauce person but since becoming enamored with Mexican food I now want some kick in almost everything I eat. PLUS if you're going to call something a Spanish scramble, shouldn't it have some kick? Makes sense to me. Those peppers should've been chipotle. Mmmm! Now THAT would've been something to write home about. The service? Eh. It took too long for them to get my money. That is one of my pet peeves when eating out. You do want to get paid, don't you? Then I need you to hustle up when it's time to pay.

I realized something this morning as I got dressed. I'm starting to get a little too comfortable with being alone. I've always enjoyed my own company, but I am really and truly a people person. I love being around people and have no qualms about being the center of attention. But Pittsburgh has added a new and very unfamiliar layer to my personality. Sometimes I just don't want to be around people and be required to engage. GASP! WHO IS THIS PERSON AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH JAMEIL!?!" I know. Shocking(!) new development.

I have a new coworker I'm getting along with very nicely but I've come to enjoy my solitary Sunday morning breakfasts. I got a little sad when I realized she'd be along with me since I was supposed to take her to my church this morning. Nothing against her because she's great company and y'all know I've been looking for young black professionals. I just like my breakfast time. She didn't come with me this morning so I got that one good time in and boy was it delightful. I truly enjoyed it (up until the taking too long with the check part). Ahhhh. Brekky.

*and yes I found my phone! YAY!!


Where Are You!?!?!

I'm feeling very Stace today. I CAN'T FIND MY PHONE!! It's about to drive me BATTY because I know it's somewhere simple!! I couldn't find it before I left the house this morning. Fine. I get back and I STILL CAN'T FIND IT!! Where are you, you little brat? I saw it when I woke up because it's my alarm clock. It's almost always in my bed when I'm getting dressed and NOW. WHERE. IS. IT?!!? I can't stand losing things.

It looks like I won't be going to Houston in March. New mommy roomie and I keep missing each other and I need to request off in the next week or two. However, another crew member is having a birthday! Wheeeeeee!! So everyone's meeting in Miami on March 28th! Yesssss!! I was planning a trip to Miami in March just hours before I got the MMMM-- meet me in Miami memo! Hotness!! Y'all know I can't wait to break out the bikinis again.

I also got a Valentine's day package from my mommy with chocolate and this 973 page book. I want to know if the big O is crazy for selecting this. This book is insane. It better be good. I'm not always in agreement with her selections. And now I'm on a book back log. I think that means no more blogging. I have no less than 4 books that need to be read. I'm working it out with Rocky's first and loving it. You get to feel proud of his accomplishments right along with him. Can't wait until we get to the part where he meets the fabulous Miss Shelly. She's amazing!


African American Lives 2

Tell me you've seen this show. It's AMAZING!! Liz told me I have to watch it and I love it!! It's about using your DNA to map your gene pool. AMAZING!! I've always been obsessed with genetics. I never would've imagined how far it would be able to be stretched for knowledge. I can't wait. I'm so doing this. Sometimes they can trace your ancestry to specific African tribes. They use celebrities for this show. It makes sense because of our celebrity obsessed culture. Some people won't watch unless they recognize a face. This show is nothing short of amazing. If I was a teacher or parent, I would absolutely make my children watch this. It also makes me want to go get my grandma's DNA so we can explore the lineage even more.

When I was in college, my African-American history teacher said because my grandmother's (father's mother) family was from SC and my father eats rice incessantly, we're probably from the grain coast, possibly even Sierra Leone or Liberia. Many white people can trace their ancestry back to "the old world" but for black people, its murky. Because slaves were stripped of their culture and language, you begin to feel like you'll never know where you came from. This possible coastal connection also explains why, like Stace's dad (from Ghana), I always want to be near the water.

I didn't even know that before I went to Hampton, my home by the sea. I knew I loved the beach, but when I got to Hampton, I felt an even stronger connection. My dorm freshman year (VC- #9 on the list) overlooked the water. I stared at it every morning before I went to class and as I went wherever I was going. There was a back way out of the building which was quicker, but usually I preferred walking out the front door so I could see the water. I always had a hard time tearing my eyes away. We also used to pretend to study out there. Who can concentrate on the water?! The next 3 years I lived in Dubois, also on the water. I was always staring out my window at the water and taking pictures of it, walking down by the water. Now I don't ever want to live away from the water again. Pittsburgh has 3 rivers which made me instantly feel better about this place. Not good enough to stay but a little calmer about my time here. This program made me feel even more proud about being black. And now it's coming on again!! I missed the first 15 minutes last hour. So excited.

For another voice post, use the tool to your right.


Night Owl

I've figured out why I'm this way. Completely sober (important to note, lol), I come up with the most amazing ideas at 3 in the morning. This is why I've always been up late at night. It's who I am. I was born at 11:04 p.m. and that's the time I like to start my night. I can't help it. I'm not a morning person and I don't understand the point of it. I'd rather be out and about during the witching hour. Too bad that's when all the criminals do most of their work, too. Why must you ruin things for everyone else because you do your "work" under the cover of darkness? Now people think night is dangerous when it's lovely. Simply marvelous. I feel the need to comment on the governor. I also want to talk about the "by the numbers" for political primaries, misunderstood black women, double minorities, HBCUs, the point of life, the ex, love, family, my grandmother, pets, the lives of my friends, death and whether its nigh because I'm so very thoughtful right now (I've read too many books about people who have died young), (l)on(e)ly children. I love parentheses. I know you couldn't tell by my posts. *giggling*

I even thought about doing another voice post particularly since I know you like them but I would be rambling and someone already had a complaint. It tells you the time so if you are unable to focus for more than 3.5 minutes, be out! Lolol. There's just so much to say and I still have 3 or 4 unread books on my bed and next to it. Reading blogs is taking up a lot of the time I previously spent reading offline. Unlike La and X, I'm no speed reader. I read fast (quickly) but not 900 page books in 2 hours fast. Oh the meaning of life. I feel a pseudo deep post coming on. A nice break from the levity, huh? I'm not sure of the direction or tone of this blog now that I've been daily blogging for 107 days (since Oct 31st) and have committed myself to it until December 31st. Honestly, it doesn't feel that long. (Sandy & Pig Red, does that make you feel better?) Blogging has a way of taking over your life. I think about things I'll do to mine in my downtime. When I'm not blogging, I'm thinking about it. Don't let me be doing something boring. I'm not paying attention to you or your... what exactly is it that you're doing right now?... I'm thinking about my blog and how I can adequately describe or thoroughly ignore the current situation. Some things aren't even worth mentioning.

Saturdays and Sundays I usually pull something out of the drafts because I work 22-23 hours in 2 days. Its exhausting and I can be rather verbose on every other day of the week. Thursdays in particular, my only full day off. I go in at 11:30 Friday night but have to spend the rest of the day planning to go in i.e. I have to go to bed at 2 at the latest, so I need to wake up very early and then I can do this but this will take too long and on and on. I don't want to think about work so I spend the entire day Thursday thinking about myself, my life, the world. The 20s are such a self-centered time in your life. Sometimes what comes out is just a series of rants, often it is, but sometimes I'm just sitting and thinking. And right now my mind is really really going. A million miles an hour. I think I'll go to sleep.

Scroll down or click here for Project Runway.

Project Runway: Who's Going to Fashion Week??

They have to select something for inspiration from 3 rooms at the Met: a (stolen) Egyptian temple, Greek/Roman room (greeeat. Rami. Please. Please don't.), and European art. They all ignored Egyptian. Color me seriously disappointed. How could you not be inspired by that fabulous era?!?! Ugh. Everyone chose European except Rami. You know what he chose. I WANT YOU TO GO OUT OF THE BOX AND YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT "This is what I do." in your little dead pan voice. Ugh. And now I'm over you. Just like that. It was a process considering the denim challenge was THE ONLY ONE where you didn't drape. And I'm convinced its only because of the fabric. Ugh. I can no longer be in your corner. I want a designer with layers. You do not have that.

Jillian you're not a fast mover? WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT! OMG! Thanks for sharing! (sarcasm) And why are you letting POC (Prince Christian the Small (c)1969) get to you? Stop it. Ignore him. I'm still not sure of you and Vic which one I've chosen to be Type A and Type Aer and she's been gone for weeks. She was the latter but now my head is spinning!! I just don't know! What are thou!? I'll give you Type A since she's crazy on sight.

POC hit the nail on the head. 1) Chris' dress looks WAY too similar to the one team fierce did episodes ago. Stop it. Yes POC, you definitely are very Alexander McQ.ueen (Current collection: TO DIE FOR!! Spring/Summer '08? Disgustingly fabulous.)/Vivienne Westw.ood. Tres apropos that you worked for them.

Aaaaaaaaaah!!! This is off topic but I just have to share. I did a dance at the gym when it happened. I was looking at this magazine, glanced at a top and said, "Catherine Ma.landrino" without looking at who designed it. AND IT WAS HERS!!!! To be able to know what something is based on how it looks and recognizing a designer's work is so cool!! I'm too excited I can do that!

2) Did you really go to sleep Chris!? Ridiculous. This is the last challenge. AND you refused to add anything? Go home.

Did he really say to Tim Gun, "I KNOW LADY!!" Hilarious!! Loooooooooooove love love. He's cracking me up. Mad hours later (I guess) Sweet P's model still hasn't come (family emergency). I can't believe Jillian has so much done. Ol' Super Slow Sewer. That should be her name. She's the queen of coats.

"This is stunning" said Tim of Rami's. Yeah but gimme a break. Over. you. Glad SP's model came. What is that ugly fabric? It's supposed to be peacock and its hideous. And you're still trying to get input from your competition on what to have in there. 1969 was right (yes we talk about PR incessantly!!), you and Chris are out. I'm over Rami, too, but his construction is so methodically top notch, they can't send him home. Ugh.

SP's model came. She said she's sending her confidence and peace. How odd. But a bit cute. I've gotten so much more touchy feely in my old age. Yes I know I'm only 25 but I get softer with age. I'll be like a human by 90. Wooooooo!! SP, that is ugly. Jillian, what is your deal? You're really looking at SP's ug and Chris' repetition and worrying? You're going to fashion week. Done. You're Type Aer. You have that pleated metallic fabric and you're still worried about steaming. What are you even talking about??? I don't see anything you could steam!! In.Sane.

I've refused to look at ANY Fashion Week coverage because I do NOT want to be tipped off to PR. But 1969 already sent me 3 pics and told me who the guest judge is. I definitely told her NO MORE!! I want to be surprised and awed. I only clicked on links that said they were taking me to specific designer collections. If it was open to interpretation, I abstained. Very difficult but daily blogging has taught me a whole new level of discipline.


Oh Jillian. Love. I love yours! It's so fantastic! POC, you think you're over the top!? That is a shock!! It definitely is amazing Cavall.i, You think Chris is the most artistic??? Get out. That's soooo what you saw from Team Fierce. Thanks Heidi, Nina and MK!! Geez. I know Cav.alli (henceforth to be known as he) didn't see it but sigh. Yes Nina!! She keeps us surprised. Can you believe he said "I would love to have you on my staff." Loooove!!! YES!!! He says Rami's is too normal!!!!! Wheeeeee!! Why do you insist on placing yourself in a box? You shouldn't even let someone else put you in one but you create one for yourself and build a home inside. Draped drapes, couches, feather dusters, draped cushions. Horrendous. You have to let them know they will see variety in a collection, not 12 versions of a Grecian drape. Christian, may I also have that hat? Thank you.

POC won! Yay! But I wanted Type Aer Super Slow Sewer Jillian to win. What do you mean really, girl? Like you didn't know you were in. Ugh. False modesty is so 1997. SP you're out! Knew it! Don't worry girl. Some people will like your little boring clothes. This is when you're supposed to cry so don't worry about being a cry baby. Wait. Rami & Chris are in? Wow. Wait what? OOOOOH! Face off!! They have to show their 3 strongest looks and then the judges will decide who goes on to Bryant Park. LOOOOOOOOOOVE!! Oh I'm SO excited about that. Hey Rami. Here's a little hint. Don't drape. SP, how pissed are you that you don't get to be in the face off? Wow. That sucks.

Next week (a la Joy's MTB4 recaps which I love!): Reunion! Fan favorite! "Oh No You Didn't!!!" Bryant Park! The smallest of alllll the princes!


Can You Hear Me Now?

Good! New voice post! Today I tackle tacky fashion choices by one of my HU professors. SO sad. *tear!*

But really? What's good with people trying to get crunk via the internet? If you really get that mad about it, you should just go sit in the corner and think about how upset you are over someone you don't know and have never met. And also *DING!* will never meet. Calm it on down. Breathe in Jesus, breathe out peace. I'm pretty sure there's enough drama in your actual life without adding to it. I know I have enough. So go sit down.

Fabulosity management.
(No, no one came at me on my blog but in the comments of another blog. SO unnecessary.)


I Don't Wanna Play Anymore

3 inches of snow and still falling. The roads are a hot mess. A 35 minute drive took an hour. At least there was an InStyle waiting for me when I got home. Adorable! My feet hurt. For some reason those fab boots I have don't really play well with my feet as of this time wearing them. Hmmm... maybe my socks were too thin. I don't know but we were on the air for twice as long as we normally are because of the snow and 500 school closings, horrible traffic, terrible roads. I'm so incredibly drained and starving!! Me and one of the fave coworkers went to Panera. I had a sandwich, chips, and half a bowl of soup. I usually eat 1/2 a sandwich and maybe half the chips and save the rest for the next day. I have a lot of self-control. I think of it as a test of wills. Now I'm ready to go to sleep. Yes I know its not even 1 p.m. but my body says, "SO WHAT!? GET IN THAT BED!!" If you're in VA, MD, or DC, BARACK THE VOTE! Obamaphiliacs unite! At least I have the returns to look forward to tomorrow. Don't let the weather or the belief that our boy Rocky will do well keep you from the polls. Ciao bellas!


Oh G(eez)

Ladies and gentlemen, what is the worst line ever? Please weigh in in the comments.

This one has to be near the top of your list. "I need a massage." Can we get a group groan on that one? If you have ever in your whole life (this situation calls for exaggeration, does it not?)used this line, please immediately cease and desist. Seriously. There has never been a less effective line in the history of the world. It's so very 1999 for me-- the fall of my senior year of high school. It carried through via various lame line users until after I graduated. That means at least fall 2004. It has never worked like you think you want it to. Ever. You have to come better than that playa.

You know who said he needed a massage today. G(ym guy). Sigh. You are so pitiful. He invited me out with his friends for his birthday on Saturday. I hope not those friends. No matter. I have to work and therefore will be unable to attend. Boo comma hoo. Let me tell ya. Lol. However, I will let you be my free trainer. We have another workout (henceforth never to be called gym dates again) on Wednesday. After this conversation to make the necessary arrangements, he says those awful, ill-fated words, "I need a massage." *insert blank face* Yeah. Right. "I can't help you." "Why not? You got hands." I made them look arthritic and said, "I can't help you. You better talk to her." I gestured toward another woman he speaks to regularly.

We have another one, folks. I don't know what it is about me that attracts these insecure chicks. Well... I take that back. I am rather fabulous. Unnecessarily so. But I've said it a million times heretofore, I'll say it a million times afterward. "I *points to eye* don't want your man. AND if you had him, you wouldn't have to act like that." Don't come looking at me sideways over some man. It is never that serious. Get it together. When she pulled her pink feather boa-trimmed tote out of her locker I understood the dirty looks. You really don't understand my fabulosity. Nevertheless, there's no need. Trust me. (Did you read the date number 2 post?) You can have him.

Back to the matter at hand. Once again I'm going to have to plea for you not to use the massage line. Be. More. Creative. One time I was in wally world chatting it up on my cell and some guy said, "Can I have your number so I can call you, too?" I was so shocked I just started laughing. He almost got my number but I wasn't quite that bored. Plus I was on the phone and he wasn't that cute. Another day he would've gotten the number. "I need a massage"? Dead face. Never.

Did you see my post about skinny bread? Cracked me up!


Annoying Things

1) To be yawning in church at 12:45 in the afternoon. Not because it's necessarily boring, but because I've been up and actively using my brain for more than 12 hours.

2) To be sleepy at 4:16 p.m.

3) To CHASTIZE myself for being up past 5 p.m.

4) To only see 4 a.m. because I'm either at work or waking up from falling asleep before 7 the previous night.

Notice a pattern? I can't stand(!!!!!!!) my current sleep pattern. Ask my parents. I've been a night owl my entire life. My dad and my godmother used to sit up with me all night. My dad would still do it if I ever didn't work weekends. My mom? Not so much. I like going to bed at 4 in the morning and waking up after 10:30. And 10:30 a.m. has always been early to me. Now I wake up before 5 a.m. on my days off. If you had told me this at any point in my life prior to moving here I would not only have laughed in your face, but probably punched you! Lol. I kid! 8 a.m. was a bad word! I also got into the habit in college of not leaving the house to go out before 11 p.m. Love it. My mom was not so in love with this schedule when I moved back home for a little more than a year after graduation. It worked for me, though! Lol. I know she was glad when I left. But now she misses me! And I miss her, too. I LOVE YOU MOMMY! :)

I overdid it on the lack of sleep yesterday. If I'm yawning already, I'll be comatose by noon-- almost 12 hours later. I think that's a no on church today. I assumed it would be considering how I felt when I woke up. I'll definitely be in bible study on Tuesday. I like that better anyway. Get to the point. Sometimes the singing seems to drag on indefinitely. Y'all know I can be all about the sound bite of life.

*We sang the Negro National Anthem at church last Sunday and I was positively glowing! Yay! I looove that song. I immediately thought, I need to also sing the alma mater and sorority hymn when I leave! All of those make me so happy.


A-Z Avec Jameil

I stole it from Pro who got it from Instyle's interview w/Halle.

Award: I'm wondering again what I'm supposed to do with all the certificates I've accrued across my life. I'm always getting some sort of award. Muy annoying. They're all at my mom's house and the last time I tried to throw them away my mom balked. Why? You don't even know these are all here! Perfect attendance, French I, French II, French III, Debate, Vacation Bible School for probably 10 years or more, and on and on and on.

Bikini: Since I've been working out and went to Miami for the first time in September, I'm very in love with bikinis. Like to the point where I don't want to even look at one pieces. That means I need 'em in my life. I want 'em in my life. Come put 'em in my life. I'ma keep 'em in my life! Since children could very well be 5 years away, I plan on wearing bikinis for a very (ok relatively) long time. Should my post-child body look good, I'm makin it happen!

Character: Is SO important. If you don't have character, you also have no standing in my eyes. What really is the point of living sans stellar character i.e. superior morals that you work intensely hard to follow to the letter. Essentially you are an honest, trust-worthy person. The type of man every woman wants to marry and the type of woman every real man aspires to find.

If we're talking about super heroes? I'm going with Wonder Woman.

Dreams: Incessantly!! I have at least 3 dreams, in color, with high detail every night of my life. I've had as many as 15, I'm sure, maybe more. They run together and if I tell someone about them, I can remember them for years. Very few are recurring but a lot of them have similar settings as in they're different places but they resemble some building from high school or college, but I know they're not the building from high school of college. I'm quite thankful not to have prophetic dreams because I did have a few dreams that I was knocked up (my favorite pregnancy euphemism because it's so delightfully tacky) sans marriage with a bad baby's father.

Eco-friendly: I recycle shopping bags and I'm not a litterbug. Does this count? Recycling is not nearly as easy here as it was at home. Don't ever call the south backward again! We don't make recycling a chore!

Fashion faux pas: Me??? Yeah right. Keeping the fashion trends of the time alive doesn't count. I appreciate the majority of my fashion phases for what they were. The colored socks were a bit bothersome, particularly with shorts, but my children will be able to look at the majority of my pictures and say, "Mom that was awesome! Do you still have that?!" I skew toward classic pieces, timeless clothing you can wear for seasons. I've always matched even when going to gym class or to bed. My father called me "fashion bug" when I was younger, among a myriad of insane nicknames. I was 7 years old regulating the matching abilities of my parents. It was not a game.

Goals: Total global domination! I want to be hideously happy, not have to worry about bills or retirement (you Jam right I have a 401k and am getting an IRA very soon!), married to someone who is just as fulfilled as I am, spiritually aware with gorgeous children and able to help my parents should they need it.

Hidden talents: Uhh... I can mimic people very well. But usually only once. I'm also quick on my feet when its time to talk junk. That's not very well hidden, though, is it? Don't I seem like I can do that?

Inspiration: Life. I love it! Even when I'm annoyed, it's only temporary. I wouldn't go so far as to call myself an optimist but pessimists irritate me.

Jokes: I loooove jokes. I love to laugh. If you allow me, I'll make you the butt of mine! Please join in!

Keepsake: Old pictures. I love looking at stuff from back in the day. I also held on to a lot of ticket stubs so I can see how active I was in college. It was INSANE! I went to almost anything you could think of. Seminars, movie screenings, endless meetings, parties and events for all the frats and sororities, fashion shows, plays, concerts, road trips. I know I'm missing stuff.

Liberal: No. That's a bad word to me. I'm not conservative, either, though. I ROCK BARACK!! Love him.

Mom: FANTASTIC. I love her so much its insane. I talk to her every day and tell her almost anything. If I need a sounding board, she's there.

Nudity: None of your business.

Online surfing: I really don't know how it could get more obsessive. It shouldn't. We are at critical mass right now! I will leave the gym to make sure I have at least an hour to surf the web. Then I find myself on there at least 2. It's ridiculous.

Perfection: Yes? Oh I thought you called my name. I kid I kid! No one's perfect but I've been accused of being a perfectionist. I cannot help my standards and will not apologize for them. I want the best and deserve it. May you think so highly of yourself as well. I don't necessarily expect others to be perfect and am working on forgiving people for being slackers. Everyone can't be like me. However, don't expect me to waste my time in your presence if you don't have enough respect for yourself to attempt your best.

Query: I loooooove asking questions. That's part of the best part of meeting new people. Question, question, question, question. Why do you think I became a journalist? I also like answering. This is why I'm not on tv. I hate those interviewers who spend 90% of it telling you how much they know. Glad you're so smart. Now can you let the person you brought on the show tell us why he or she is here? Thanks genius. We really appreciate your generosity.

Reading: Once I got my license I had to get directions everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Even the simplest places that I'd been hundreds of times i.e. church, because from 5 years old on, if we were in a car (which was a lot because we lived in the burbs) I had my nose in a book. It didn't matter how short the trip. I was not looking at the scenery, I was reading. I didn't play with my sister much because I was reading. My mom used to say, "You can't finish your book until you play with your sister." Yes, it was that bad.

Song: I don't like to play favorites. Songs, books, movies. How about I just tell you what I like. However, "I'm Hot" by Missy is my favorite workout song. I listen to it at least 3xs and as many as 8xs every time I work out. Yes, that's a minimum of 9xs a week. I hear it once and get crunk and just keep hitting repeat. I know it's a bit ridiculous but I can't help it. I just love it!

Trip: My mom is from Mississippi, but worked in Trenton for 5 years after she left Hampton. I also have an uncle in Atlanta, my sister's godmother in Columbia, SC, mine in Harrisburg. We were always on the road. Interestingly enough, those sometimes 12 or more hour roadtrips did not really impact how I feel about road trips. I just like to be included in everything. So if we can have fun, let's do it. I do NOT like solo road trips.

Ultimate indulgence: Food. Duh.

Virgo: Holla baby! But also part Leo. And everything else. Can a horoscope contain me? Not likely.

Workout: 3xs a week. I get sensitive when folk ask me about working out. Only certain people. To use my fave Stace-ism, "Don't judge me!" I like to respond, "Judging!"

Xtra: Fresh? IDK. This makes no sense to me.

Yuck!: Cold weather and hot weather. I like it in between. My definition of hot and cold have changed since I've been here. Surprisingly I can tolerate hotter temperatures than I used to be able to. Of course cold doesn't effect me as much. I used to think 32 was cold. OMG FREEZING!! Lol. Now it has to be in the teens for me to get too bent out of shape and then really only when the wind chills are really low or that's the high for the day.

Zen moments: Eating. Did I mention I like food? Also being with my girls. It doesn't matter what we're doing, we're having a blast! I'm missing CC's birthday party tonight because I have to work but I hope everyone takes lots of pictures for me! After work today I'm going to a bridal shower in town since I can't leave town. Holla!


"Thank You God for This Stupid Food!"

Remember that line from Ashley's prayer on the FreshPrince? Will had just moved there and was teaching her all this slang she'd never used, and how to rap. So she busted out in a rap prayer to her parents' dismay. (No, I couldn't find it on youtube.) I would like to use this line, reminding the uninitiated that stupid meant dope, hot, fantastic, wonderful or amazing back in the day. Last night, I had a religious food experience at Kaya in the Strip District. I want to thank God for giving me another place to take visitors and for another getaway in Pittsburgh. I have yet another place I can go to just disappear and forget I'm in this city.

First we'll start with what my dad. He started with an A.yinger beer. The bartender said it had 9.2% IPA! That's an outrageous IPA. Most beers are around 5.5 to 6. 7 is on the high side and may or may not make the beer unpalatable, particularly for those unfamiliar with beer, but this one was good. My dad said beyond the sampler it was a bit bitter. They had several delightful beers on tap that I'd never had. PLUS I love anywhere that has Stella on tap! Fab!! I did want to give their special beers a try, several of which are not anywhere else in Pittsburgh, but tonight I was about the drinks! I started with Brazil's national cocktail, the caipirinha! MMMM!! It was sooo good. Why doesn't the U.S. have a national cocktail!?! After that I had a mango mojito made with mango puree. Loved it. Kara suggested A.kineyle for a Krispy Kreme song when I last spoke of the fat tour so I shall use it here to describe my drink. "You can lick it, you can sip it, you can taste it! I'm talking every dri.p drop don't you waste it!" Yes I knew all the hood and/or inappropriate songs in college. Are you happy Kara? Lol. Crazy man.

On to the food. They change their menu daily. I don't know how much they vary, but, though small, the menu did not feel limited. With the few choices available, I still had difficulty deciding what to get. My dad had a Cuban sandwich: pork, turkey, ham, Swiss cheese, whole grain mustard, chipotle aioli, and sweet fries. Yes, I kept with my Lenten challenge and did not eat even one fry! That was part of the reason I didn't get that sandwich. I want to get whatever experience the chef wants me to have, no subsititutes, so I left that one for another trip. Aren't you proud? Me too!

Now my food. Oh my food. My delightful, delightful food. I had the Kaya angus burger: tomato, pickles, Manchego cheese, bacon, local sunny side up egg, secret Kaya sauce, Kaya chips. Let's stop and do a praise dance for that! And celebrate FoodNetwork with IronChefAmerica and RachaelRay, and we cannot forget TopChef!! Without these shows, I may never have had the chutzpah to try a burger with an egg on it, despite my unabiding love for eggs. The sauce was orangey-pink, sweet but tangy. Very nice. I'm getting RAVENOUS just thinking about this burger! Pardon me while I go eat my hand. Tastes like chicken.

Aaaand... we're back. Yes, I did check to make sure the chips weren't some sly way (you know how the British do) of saying fries. It's not. They're potato chips made from plantains and yuca. Again. So excited that my foodieness requires me to know what all this means!!! My mom asked if this was cheating. How are potato chips cheating? I didn't give up all potato products, just fries. Trust me. As a fry queen, its not the same. Moving back to the center of my delight. This burger was so good I was just silent. Jameil. Silent. Wow. Let's take a moment for that as well! A.MA.ZING. But only for a moment and I did dance. You know how I do. Wiggle and hum when the eating is good. Close my eyes. I said to my dad, "Now I can die happy!" He didn't like that. I guess parents take you literally and get all alarmed. It's an expression. I have no desire or plans to die but if I had to, that's an amazing last meal!!

I've finally used my new reason to become anti! Now you can *REJOICE!* and hear my voice. After I first posted, I thought, is this too much? Maybe I'm becoming "Jameil... THE BRAND!"? Did you do that like "Just Jack!" on Wil.l&Grace? Because you should have. Lol. My dad just asked me what I do when people are out of order commenting on my blog. I said, "I just say, 'You are off topic.'" And he started cracking up. "This blog is concerning the hair growth of mice, it has nothing to do with railroad tracks. Please stay on the subject," he says. He's so funny.


More Reasons to Be Anti?

At this rate I will be holed up in my house with 36 cats! And I don't even like them enough to have more than one. I need an animal who needs me. But right now dogs are too needy. I woke up the other day overjoyed to not have anything who needed my attention RIGHT NOW!! No man, no children, no animals. Just me.

Honestly, the net connects me to the world in this insanely insular city. People here don't leave (ever) and are reluctant to allow new people in (particularly if they don't look like them). I know I'll need this new-found ability to be alone, but not lonely, at some point in my life. I never liked chatting with strangers though my sister instantly loved that. She was the queen of chatrooms when we first got the internet more than a decade ago. Of course my mom didn't like that but luckily she never got snatched. I added utt.erz a week ago after hearing Siobhan's voice post. I don't have an interesting Scottish accent, but I can hold my own in the voice category! (Great. Now you'll be begging me to audio blog.) You can blog, audio/video blog and post pics from your phone. It's cool but I haven't used it yet.

I also added Tw.itter to my ever-expanding genre of interweb (hahaha) crack. OMG! Rocky uses it! That's hot! Liz & Sandy do, too. And I think I just got Rashan on it. "She's a pusher. A sad, old pusher." I know you know that movie!!! Yesssss!!

I'm not sure why you need this thing, but blame fellow journo Queen to Be. She talked about how another journalist said we need to have a blog (check, check, check, check (I have 4. One on myspace, one private, this one and the record dish.)), mysp.ace (check), digital camera we use to post pics (check), something to take video with and upload video (have it but don't use it), and get a t.witter. All to help us become more adept at adjusting to the ever-changing demands of life as a journalist. It increasingly requires more than a little internet savvy. I'm already one of the fastest googlers at my job and have a reputation for being able to find anything. Of course I love that!! So yes, I understand it; but no, I am not looking forward to having yet another timesuck.



*scroll down for Project Runway!*

Project Runway: WrestleMani..ugh

*If you didn't know, my whole recap is a spoiler.*

Memphiz, I found a way for you to watch online!!!!!!!!!!!

Wrestling? WRESTLING?? I'm so apprehensive. My PR routine: check the listings to make sure I can catch the re-run because I know I can't wake up for the original showing. I don't turn on the tv until exactly at the appointed time so I don't see anything. Of course Prince Christian the Small (PCS according to 1969) aka angy gay 12-year-old whose mom lets him do his own hair... because that's what he looks like. Why do they even do this model crap anymore? Anyone? So stupid. No. one. cares. Ask me if I ever notice the models in the magazines. Rarely. Show me the clothes. That's your purpose.

I hate the whole guess the challenge thing. They do it every show and its always so stupid. Did PCS just tell Jillian she hasn't won in 2 challenges?!?! WOW! Some of them think the noises coming from the room sound like people being killed. PCS thinks it sounds like sex. Insanity. I KNEW Rami wouldn't be down. Ricky ugh go home. He looks excited about it. I knew Chris would like it. He likes everything.

Create an outfit for them to wear in the ring? I'm going to vomit. This is not conducive to my fabulosity. Yes Chris, it IS stripper tranny wear. And she likes leopard. Speaking of wild cats. Why did this woman at church have on a faux ocelot print hat where the only thing I could think of was "have you seen the muffin man?" It looked like a 13-inch, flattened shower cap with a one-inch band around the bottom... with a matching stole. Stop.

Sigh. There are cutouts and sparkles everywhere on their outfits they already had on. Did SweetP's say classy whore? How do you decide to become a wrestler? They're not ugly or manly. Chris just said green velour. SweetP w/the shiny white. The fear is palpable beneath my keys. And PCS has this super shiny pleather/patent leather/shiny black plastic. I see Rami draping again. YOU'RE KILLING ME!!! Can you do anything else!?!? PCS said SweetP's looks like "Tranny Ice Queen." Sweet... the feather boa?? YOU'RE KILLING ME!! This is horrendous. I hate this challenge. I don't even know that I can go on.

Can you imagine Vic doing this? LMAO! She would've hated it. SweetP is going based on this fabric. But I sooo want Ricky to go home. PCS and SweetP arm wrestling and he almost won??? See what this challenge has deteriorated into? Ricky the orange?!?! I don't like orange anyway and that's hideous. Christian cracks me up!! Ok for a wrestler his outfit is kinda hot. I just want to know how this can possibly be judged!! "Fierocia Coutoura" is PCS's wrestling name. THIS CHALLENGE SUUUUUUUUUCKS. I can't judge these clothes because they're not real clothes!! People don't dress like this!!! I do love Ricky's wrestler's faux hawk. The horrendous gold cape-esque overthing? There's not even a name to describe it. Gross. Chris? I need a glitter-lined hoodie in my life and I'm so serious. But not leopard. Ocelot either. Heatherett.e folk are judges. Gross and appropriate. Most of their stuff is so over the top and drag anyway. Yes, I know it's supposed to be "fun" but I'll pass.

Okay I cheated this week because I just couldn't take the ugly. I looked at the website...

Ricky's going hoooome!! Ricky's going hoooome. Ricky Ricky. Rick Rick Ricky's going hoooome. If you picture me singing? I am! Okay now that I know that I can stop recapping and just dance. *kid n' play* *roger rabbit* *pop lock and drop it* *dutty wine* *butterfly* *m.c. hammer* *cabbage patch* *various and sundry snap dances* I want some eggs. Over hard.


First Fry-Free Day

I've already had to pray 3xs and it's only 12:15. However! I have been up since 11:45 last night. Seeing as how you're supposed to pray when you think about what you want but have given up... wow. I was very annoyed at work today and was thisclose to saying "I DON'T CARE!!" and eating fries anyway. I was very surly, getting my C.harlie Brown on. You know, the personal storm cloud. Usually working out can work it out but today I get there and realize I've left my ipod on the table. Now I did have my Rach magazine, but the only other time I've left my ipod at home, I also left the gym. Except this time I didn't do that only because I had my mag. But then I pulled my outfit out of my bag and couldn't stand it. Like I said, personal storm cloud.

HOWEVER! The day started on a bright note when I immediately got up and went downstairs to turn on the tv. I never had a tv in my room growing up because my mom was very big on us not being spoiled. I was also such a big reader that I didn't care. I didn't get my first tv in my room until freshman year. Then I didn't have cable because it wasn't free so really... what's the point? Like I've said before, I never watched much tv until I got into tv. Now I watch too much. At least 70 hours a week. Granted, 50 of that is while I'm at work. Whatever.

I go downstairs and have to flip around because the cable is different at my house than at work so I had to try to remember where to find all the news! Then I see my homie Rocky has won some big states and he's talking about it right now!! I sit down to watch and he's talking about change and making this happen and I see that he's won ID, UT, KS and MN. I just start crying at the thought that these overwhelmingly white states have overwhelmingly chosen a black man as the person they believe can best lead our nation for the next 4 years. I sat there and bawled.

It gave me hope and made me FINALLY proud to be an American. I won't say that I never have been, but it's certainly been a while. Definitely not in the last 8 years. I was so proud that I put on my white long-sleeved tee under a navy blue velvet blazer with a red rhinestone dragonfly pin, with a glittering red belt, jeans and red patent leather flats. Less than 100 delegates separate Billary and Rocky. There are still more than a dozen states left and more than 1400 delegates they each need to clinch the nomination. YES WE CAN!!

**New Project Runway tonight. Not excited about them making outfits for women wrestlers. Gross. I want to see beautiful clothes!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe its for them to go out to a wrestler awards ceremony. I'm gonna go pray about that. Otherwise, not only will I be upset, I KNOW Prince Christian the Small [(c) 1969] and Rami will be HEATED!!

Okay funniest MTB4 moment yet? 4:19.

"OH MOTHA! OH MOTHA PLEASE!" *DEAD!!* I die laughing every. single. time!! So hilarious!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! And I love Dawn and Q!! Too cute. I thought girls were supposed to be the messy ones. Danit.y K.ane was never like this and the dudes are like cats scratching at each other.

****Update**** I wrote this before seeing this.

I CAN'T!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Mardi Gras!

In honor of Mardi Gras, I'm wearing the official colors. Purple long-sleeved tee with a bright yellow cami peeking out from the bottom, green belt around the waist, green leaf earrings, yellow flats. Too adorable. That ain't right. I got lots of love at work for my color coordination. It's so delightful to be so fabulous.

Today is the day I say my fry farewell, my fry goodbye, my au revoir des frites! Oh french fries. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. (One of my favorite poems EVER!!) One, you are so salty, deliciously clogging my veins. Two, you are so potatoey, driving me insane. Three your slightly crunchy outside, melt in your mouth inside is just so fine. Four, you are just what I want. I will miss you over the next 46 days. Easter Sunday. Easter Sunday. I know I can do it. My last time with you just ended. How I will miss thee. Waffle fries, crinkle cut, shoestring, steak, curly, with seasoning salt, with garlic, with salt and pepper and oregano. With ketchup, with ranch dressing. Beautiful you are to me. "You and me, we never part. Caint no river, caint no sea keep my french fry away from me."

I could go on all day so I'll just stop. I'm trying to fortify myself mentally for the journey. My pastor said every time you find yourself wanting what you've chosen to deny yourself of, pray. My knees shall be very sore, my eyes almost permanently shut if I want fries even 1/2 as much as I eat them now. Oh fries.


It's also Super! Tuesday! (the name requires exclamation points), as I know you can't escape! One of my coworkers actually said, "What's that?" Another said, "I don't care." Wow. I don't even want that luxury of feeling so ridiculous. You care more about the latest star to go to rehab or jail or wherever than the person who has the ability to shape the future of the country for an indefinite number of years. Please believe with his Supre.meCourt nominations, disregard for human rights, and war policies, we will be feeling the effects of the current one for a long time. Like Ink, I'm more excited about Super! Tuesday! than the Su.perBowl (though I loved the outcome!! Boooo cheaters!!).

My man O is that crack and I can't get enough! YES WE CAN! B.arack the vote, y'all. (Thanks for that Rashan!) I have to wait MONTHS to make my vote count. Amazingly our primary date stayed exactly the same when multiple other states were moving theirs to Super! Tuesday! Insanity. I wish I was able to actually stay awake to watch the returns. I would do it with beer and popcorn, pizza and chicken wings, quesadillas, chips and chipotle salsa, raspberry sorbet. I would go to TOWN!! Instead I will go to work at 1 a.m. and immediately do all the returns and biggest races with a ridiculous amount of joy. Life's good.


State of Black America Part XII: Talks with My Father

Yesterday my dad and I watched F.ly Boys: Western Pennsylvani.a's Tuskeege.e A.irmen. It was pretty good. But most of all, it sparked conversation with my father. It started off with a stark look at the racism the pilots faced from the beginning. How they weren't allowed a black leader because of a study which said blacks weren't smart enough to lead themselves. I realized that when you achieve and go about your day without being constantly reminded you're black and told you're inferior, sometimes you forget that the struggle is not that far removed and for some, still daily. You read about local mayors who pretend nigger was a happy word and of course about nooses. And yet, sometimes it still seems a bit removed from my personal reality.

Then I talk to my father. He's only 61, but never went to an integrated school. This despite the fact he was 8 years old when Brown v. Board was passed. He can remember the first time he saw a white person. Think about that. I can't even imagine such a thing. We moved into my predominately white neighborhood when I was 4. My sister had just turned 3. (We're only 19 months apart.) Growing up all my friends in my neighborhood were white. There were only a handful of black people at my elementary school. I saw black people at church and of course with my large extended family (36 first cousins).

His first time remembering seeing a white person was when there was a knock on the door. When he answered it, a white police officer asked for his father. When my dad told my grandfather there was a policeman at the door, he ran to the bathroom to pour out his moonshine, then went to the door. My dad said at that time he didn't realize how nervous my grandfather was in his own home of a white person at the door. At any time, for any minor infraction, real or imaginary, my grandfather could have been snatched from his home. HIS home. The home he owned.

My dad also talked about how much nicer the white schools were than the black schools. And how his teachers complained about their subpar old books. And that he didn't understand why they couldn't have new books like the white children. The only white people he saw were the ones who waited on them in stores and watched them like hawks to make sure they didn't steal anything. He says because he lived in a rural area racism was less obvious than in a city where blacks and whites shared closer quarters. By the time he moved to Charlotte, integration had taken hold.

He also joined the AirForce. He knew another airman who had a black mother, but was passing for white. He thanked my father for not ratting him out. My father said it didn't matter to him and wasn't his business to tell. He's still like that. He's talkative, but if it's not his business, he won't necessarily get into it. At Clar.kAFB in the Philippines, he served under a black 3-star general named Benjami.nDavis, who was featured prominently in the movie we watched last night for his leadership over the Tuskege.eAirmen. Davis signed a commendation for my father because he had the 3rd highest score on the base out of 500 test takers.

FlyB.oys talked about how difficult it was for the airmen to get jobs as commercial pilots. So difficult that none of them were hired to fly for any U.S. airline for more than 20 years. They were good enough to fight and win for their country, but could not get hired. My father experienced the same thing when he returned. He wasn't a pilot, but was certified in construction and heavy equipment operation. When he came back to the States in the 1970s, only whites were being hired for those types of jobs or any type of high-paying job. At the time, people in those positions were already earning $25/hour and my dad couldn't even get a job earning $1/hour. ONE DOLLAR. Even with a commendation signed by a general.

My father is number 4 out of 9 children. I asked him what dreams he had for his children before he had any. He said, "That I wouldn't have so many kids that I couldn't take care of them. That they would go to school and make something of themselves." I teared up when he said that because it makes it that much clearer why he spoiled us and continues to push us to do our best. He wants the best for us. He wants us to go farther than he did, do more and get the most we possibly can out of life. Unfortunately, talking to anyone who works in our school systems, you will find for many children, a parent who cares is an almost unheard of luxury, and I had two.

He didn't want us to have to struggle, or ever know hunger and on the most basic levels, we never did. We never had to worry about where our next meal was coming from. My dad grew up in one of the poorest counties in North Carolina (and when you visit, you can instantly tell there is little progress there). His father was a farmer so food wasn't necessarily an issue, but when there are nine children, there are a lot more mouths than is common now to stretch to feed. Both of my great-grandparents owned land. My grandmother's land came from her mother who was also a store owner. I'm proud that my great-grandparents were landowners on both sides.

Tomorrow is Super Tuesday. 24 states are holding caucuses or primaries to decide who they think should win the nomination for the Democratic and Republican primaries. There were times when we couldn't vote. If your state's primary is tomorrow, even if you're not supporting the best candidate (tell me that pic on the front page of the website isn't adorable!!), go support someone. Sydnee is getting one of these. She should know from birth that "There is nothing false about hope... YES WE CAN!" You have to be dead not to get chills from that one. If you click on no other link on this page, watch that one.

But of course, it's not all seriousness.
"What's the flavor?" I ask after he offers me a piece of gum.
*sigh... and giggle* My dad traveled a lot when we were younger so he could make money and provide for us. He's some sort of engineer and works with welding and turbines. I'm glad I'm getting the opportunity to get to know him now. Moving to Pittsburgh was good for me if for no other reason (and there are others), than to allow me to better understand my dad.

State of Black America:
Part XI: High Yella Women Stealin' All the Men
Part X: Noosely Speaking
Part IX: Let Someone In
Part VIII: Nappy-Headed Hos
Part VII: "I'm A Conservative"
Part VI: Education
Part V: Names
Part IV: Rapists and Child Molesters
Part III: Hair
Part II: Katrina
Part I: The Athlete