11.27.2007

Hefty Trash Bag

That's what my stalker makes me want to wear to the gym. He appeared again yesterday much to my chagrin. Lurking as usual. I didn't even really notice him this time until I stopped my pilates-esque leg exercises and walked past him to one of the quads machines.

He stopped me, "Hey, do you wanna work out together sometime?" Father!! Didn't we discuss this? You look 40-45 and therefore must be 60. NOT. INTERESTED!! I was so blown by the question. What gave you the impression I would be amenable to such an "adventure"? "Uhhh.... no thanks." "You sure." "Yeah, no thank you."

Then he proceeded to stare at me some more and hover. Then once again, I came out of the locker room and he's in the general vicinity. GROSS!! Dude. Let this happen again and I'm sooo reporting you to the front desk. I will NOT become your stalkee. I like life.

Before we leave, let's talk about his attire. This is how I recognized him from last time-- his shoes. He had on regular gym clothes up top and WORK SHOES!! Not like construction worker boots work shoes. Brown shoes you wear with khakis work shoes. With his black gym outfit. You buy your skin tight lycra workout gear, but can't afford running/walking/whatever shoes? Does this make any sense? Oh yeah, and there's also that eau de steroids thing you have. The whole unnatural, super buff look is not sexy to the average woman. I'm far from average, but I do not find it attractive. Lest we forget, tho, mostly because YOU'RE OLD!!

22 comments:

Olette said...

This post was hilarious! Dating a guy that old disgusts me as well. I have a friend up here that dates a guy that is that creepy gym guys age. I don't know how she does it. But what topped it off was the WORK SHOES! My mom always told me that you can judge a man by his shoes. Next time you see him you better run!

1969 said...

Please let that man know that your father doesn't approve of men his age trying to pick up his daughter.
Also let him know that his constant hovering makes you feel uncomfortable during your workout and you come to the gym to focus on your fitness. Thanks but no thanks.

And then report his azz to the desk.

That ish is creepy and I don't want him following you to your car.

Mama 1969 has spoken.

Chris said...

I do believe I'll have to loan you my granddad's older .38 for your trips to the gym. This dude is wilin.

Mademoiselle M said...

LOL, you better watch ur back. Hope you have the number for your local popo on speed dial!

Epsilonicus said...

Work shoes?? He needs to get it together. That has to be uncomfortable. Those shoes are not comfortable at all.

jameil1922 said...

o... glad you jolly in my discomfort. maybe i can get away since i'll have proper footwear!!

1969... right?!?! he'll be pissed, but not as pissed as my folk would be if i turned up missing. it's very creepy. it was weird the first time. yesterday def. crossed into creepy. thanks mama 1969!!

chris... thanks!! and yes he is.

m... girl i have a fave 911 dispatcher b/c i talk to him every weekend for work. he'll hook it up!

epsi... thank you for being more concerned w/his shoes than my discomfort!!!!!

Pro said...

"eau de steroids" Cracking up over here! I know his twin who attends my gym. He nodded hello to me today. I have been aloof as to not draw attention to myself (at least not to old geiser). Dress shoes with the Superman sweatsuit only denotes that he forgets to change his shoes in the phone booth, you know, when he changes from Clark Kent.

Vdizzle said...

I'm thinking you shoulda been reported him. He's crazy.

PAJNSTL said...

LOL... Pops just wants to show you a few new tricks!

OK..I got an awful mental pic reading that.. eww and gross.. Make sure you leave the gym with a group of people!!

Liz said...

I 100% agree with 1969. We do not want you wearing a trash bag or ending up in one, okay!

jameil1922 said...

pro... tell him and his twin to get on!!

v... i know homie!!

paj... i'm gonna vomit. i don't know any groups of people but luckily i go to the gym in daylight when i can watch my surroundings more carefully.

liz... me either!!

Ms. Cali Brwn said...

ha ha ha ... you had me laughin out loud in my office ... I keep tellin folk ...shoes tell a lot about a person ... prime example!

So...Wise...Sista said...

Check his gym ID. Clearly son sneaks in. With work shoes, no less.

Sandy C. said...

ROFL!!!! Oh, the visual with the shoes...I shivered over here just reading it.

I hate creepy men like that. Just their stare makes me want to run into the shower to exfoliate their creepiness off me. I would report him if the rejection doesn't properly repel.

the joy said...

Ew no. Please call the people on him. Lol @him exercising in wing tips... This man the other day said I was old enough to "give a chance." um, who said I wanted one?

Nitty-Gritty said...

girl be lury and pray him away...

yet another black guy said...

this would be funny if it was in a movie. you need to step to him and say, "On the really real, you 'bout to make me set it off something lovely and you don't wanna know me like that." or just mace him lol

jameil1922 said...

cali... but he really creeps me out tho.

wise... horrendous.

sandy... the reporting is only a day away.

joy... that's disgusting.

nitty... he needs more than prayer, i'm pretty sure he needs some repellent action, too.

black... should it really come to that tho?

BK said...

yeah what sixty said..

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.. its the WORST feeling but HOLLA if you need some BK muscle

Sha Boogie said...

HAHA! Your kidding me, right? Work shoes at the gym? I hate it!!

Stacie von Kutieboots said...

i don't know which is more disturbing: the work shoes or that they were BROWN work shoes with a black workout outfit.

jameil1922 said...

bk... come on!! he's soo creepin me out.

sha... horrendous.

stace... both. (glad i wasn't the only one who noticed the issue w/the brown and black. i love you fellow instyle queen!!)