That Virtue...

God bless my PATIENT husband.  Through all of his jerkiness (some of it shocking in its hilarity), he really has a calming spirit. Even when I'm tense and at my nuttiest, I can relax around him. I am notoriously not a morning person.  If I'm up in the early morning hours (see: any time prior to 9am), I always want it to be because I haven't been to bed yet, not because I'm up starting my day.  But no matter how much sleep I've had or how close to my ideal waking hour I am, please don't talk to me in the first hour.  You can feed me.  As a matter of fact, please do!  But please, please keep talking to a minimum.

Here's what I need you to do in the morning.

1. Please leave or do your thing as quietly as possible. This is to ensure you don't disturb me. I probably need two more hours of rest than you do.  And unless I'm really tired, I am a light sleeper.  
2. Don't say my name.  No matter how asleep I am, I always hear my name and answer to it.  My friends discovered this in undergrad.  It makes me laugh!  Unless I'm sleeping...
3. When you hear me stirring (or more likely see me on twitter/fb), begin to prepare or gather my preferred breakfast.  Yes I did.  I rarely stray from the classics when not dining at a restaurant.  For fast food I either want a bacon, egg & cheese or a sausage egg mcmuffin with cheese.  With hash browns.  I don't trust fast food grits.  Even in the south.  If you're going to Chick-fil-a or Bojangles, I want a spicy chicken biscuit.  Again, hash browns.  If you have never had a Chick-fil-a buttery biscuit, fix your life immediately.  At home I want eggs (over medium), grits & bacon or sausage.  I can really have either bacon or sausage depending on the day and/or my mood.  Sometimes I don't care.  Sometimes I want a piece of each.  It's weird to me that some days I can't decide.  I like them both quite equally.  Unless it's turkey bacon.  I like all kinds of sausage (chicken, turkey, pork, veggie) but bacon shall only be pork.  It was written.* Side note: I made cooked (my mom hates when I cook and say make) an egg last night and Rashan was jumping when I flipped the egg in the pan. Sir... please take a seat if you're going to flinch at me using a pan to flip a single egg.
4. Feed me said breakfast.  Silently.
5. Check the clock.  If one hour has passed since you heard the stirring or read the tweets, proceed with the day.  But SLOWLY.  You are never sure whether the sleeping bear has fully awakened.

My fave roomie in college was the exact same way.  It plays a huge role in why she was my favorite roommate.  The first thing we need to say when getting ready in the morning is good-bye as we walk out the door.  I truly loved this about her.  It makes me happy all over again reminiscing about it!

On my wedding day, BFF Stace was SOO excited for me!  I was, too.  But I wasn't awake yet.  So I wanted her to calm down and keep it quiet.  I feel like when I first wake up I can hear EVERYTHING. If we've not yet passed the hour mark and I'm chatting and seem almost like myself, it is still not time for loudness. I already hear quite well (everything if you ask my dad!) and have an outrageous sense of smell but when I first wake up?  The slightest sound is magnified.  Do I have a tumor?  Please tell me that doesn't mean I have a tumor. Because I know it's not a hangover.

Fast forward to today and how this all relates back to my patient husband.  He's not quite as stringent on his rules but he does need a little time to fully awaken before he's ready to interact with me.  This is fine except on those days like today when I have been awake for hours.  By the time he's up, I'm ready to have a party!  And I've been waiting for HOURS to talk to him!  He always fights valiantly to participate in these chats before asking me to turn it from 11 to 5.5.  And he's so polite about it.  If I have to ask you to turn down your enthusiasm... tisn't pretty.  So bless him!  LOL


*If you are surprised that the most detailed portion of this post was about food, welcome.  This must be your first time here!  LOLOL Peruse The Record Dish for my food craziness and later today... MY 2011 THANKSGIVING MENU!!!

Up All Night

Remember that show? I used to watch it all the time. Not to be confused with Out All Night which made me fall in love with, not Morris Chestnut, but Duane Martin! I loved that show! I didn't like his most recent show. It never did anything for me. Can't remember the name of it, don't care to look it up. I loved his wife's (best known as Gina on "Martin") show, "My Wife and Kids." I usually watch it at 1 every afternoon.

I know you're thinking, what in the HE... what is this post about and why are you typing it at 4 a.m. I have not been able to go to bed much before 5 a.m. in about a month. I don't know what my problem is. Well, part of it stemmed from unnecessarily stressing myself out about that paper and part of it is a desire for this school year to just END already!! Since I'm up, I decided to give you guys a life update. How terribly exciting for you!! Right now I'll be going home for the summer with some extended stays in Atlanta, maybe a visit to Savannah, likely a visit to Brunswick, GA for my friend's father's 70th birthday party which should be a BLAST. I'm pretty sure all my friends will be there since her father is always the life of the party. I had a great time hanging (and drinking) with my friends' parents homecoming senior year. I had these off weeks in college where I would have enough money for a $5 party and since I lived on campus, I could eat in the cafe, but a $40 homecoming party in a place that's $10 any other week? Yeah... this wasn't one of those weeks where I could afford that which sucked but I partied so much in college, that particular party was really just a drop in the 12,000-gallon party bucket (Can you imagine what such a bucket would look like???).

My partner and I are in the midst of working on our latest project, which is a short film based on our thesis. I really am learning a lot from my quest to watch 750 movies this year. You begin to see what things work and what doesn't and learn how to incorporate those things in your own films. That's exactly why I began the quest to watch this many movies. It's a crazy goal but why not try it? I'm about 11 movies off pace as I work 2-8 hours a day on this film but the summer will allow plenty of time to play catch up. I have a feeling I'm going to be spending a lot of time in the library renting movies and books. You know what's great? Our library at home! It's only 5 minutes away and the building is about 5 years old. I also want to do some shooting of my family history.

Another thing that has been stressing me out is the dean of journalism's (John Wright) decision to cut my program despite the fact that films from our program have won student Emmys the last 2 years. Another film was a finalist the year before that. Wright has deemed the Documentary Institute (DI) "not as central" to the mission of the college. That is clearly all about semantics. How is nonfiction filmmaking not central to the college when some of the best documentary programs in the country, including OURS according to Independent magazine are in journalism departments? Syracuse just started its documentary program in its j-school within the last 2 years. All 4 of my professors, including 2 with tenure, will lose their jobs if the program is cut. The final decision by the president of the university, Bernie Machen, is set to be made by May 1st. Can you tell me how you expect to attract professors to the university if you're cutting even tenured professors? How are layoffs not your last resort? Why is education so undervalued in this nation that cutting it is considered acceptable?

Our program at this point is not accepting a fall class and we will be the last class if the DI shuts down. My education is not expected to be compromised, as our professors have assured us, but it's still disheartening that our program is not considered an asset. It also makes me quite sure I won't ever give a dollar to UF unless it goes to the DI. So Hampton has UF and John Wright to thank for not having to split my donation money when it comes. Hampton will always (and always would have, but it won't be near even now) get to billing. Some alumni and students have started a petition site to try to save the doc institute. We hope for at least 1,000 and are close. Please sign it here and help take us over the edge.

I actually fell asleep around 10 p.m. but woke up at 1:30. Now that it's 5 a.m., aka my new bedtime, perhaps I can fall asleep until Rashan calls at his regular time on the way to work, aka my wake-up call, 11:30 a.m. Sometimes I go back to sleep but rarely. Know what would be nice? If staying up until 5 meant I got more work done. Yeah... about that... that's gonna have to be a no. I'm constantly thinking about going to bed rather than doing something constructive. I know it's stupid and I really, really hope to break this foolish cycle in the near future.

Annoying Things

1) To be yawning in church at 12:45 in the afternoon. Not because it's necessarily boring, but because I've been up and actively using my brain for more than 12 hours.

2) To be sleepy at 4:16 p.m.

3) To CHASTIZE myself for being up past 5 p.m.

4) To only see 4 a.m. because I'm either at work or waking up from falling asleep before 7 the previous night.


Notice a pattern? I can't stand(!!!!!!!) my current sleep pattern. Ask my parents. I've been a night owl my entire life. My dad and my godmother used to sit up with me all night. My dad would still do it if I ever didn't work weekends. My mom? Not so much. I like going to bed at 4 in the morning and waking up after 10:30. And 10:30 a.m. has always been early to me. Now I wake up before 5 a.m. on my days off. If you had told me this at any point in my life prior to moving here I would not only have laughed in your face, but probably punched you! Lol. I kid! 8 a.m. was a bad word! I also got into the habit in college of not leaving the house to go out before 11 p.m. Love it. My mom was not so in love with this schedule when I moved back home for a little more than a year after graduation. It worked for me, though! Lol. I know she was glad when I left. But now she misses me! And I miss her, too. I LOVE YOU MOMMY! :)

I overdid it on the lack of sleep yesterday. If I'm yawning already, I'll be comatose by noon-- almost 12 hours later. I think that's a no on church today. I assumed it would be considering how I felt when I woke up. I'll definitely be in bible study on Tuesday. I like that better anyway. Get to the point. Sometimes the singing seems to drag on indefinitely. Y'all know I can be all about the sound bite of life.

*We sang the Negro National Anthem at church last Sunday and I was positively glowing! Yay! I looove that song. I immediately thought, I need to also sing the alma mater and sorority hymn when I leave! All of those make me so happy.

Monday Randomness

Gym:
went last week 3xs for the first time in about 2 weeks. I'd skipped my Thursday dance class the last two weeks (first week went to dinner w/D, last week we went to the Penguins game. It was my first hockey game and it wasn't that bad. Much better in person. On tv you can't see the puck. At least I can't.) I'd gone 2xs a week. Booooo. Didn't go today because I've been itching to blog and my father wore me plum out yesterday. I ran some errands after work, then when I got home he wanted to go to breakfast. You know how I feel about food (y'all are not visiting the record dish anymore. stop slackin on your pimpin)... and breakfast... So I did, then came home, read for a few minutes and passed out.

Sleep:
I CAN'T KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS!!! I am on the worst non-sleep schedule known to man. You know I have a crazy schedule. I work overnights which means I get off at 10am every day. I had my schedule down at one point. Going to CT would throw me off for a while, then I'd get back on it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I go to sleep for 5 hours, then wake up and can't get back to sleep so I wake up and read but I'll have been up for too long when I go to work if I stay up so I try to get sleepy and don't until I have an hour to nap but then I fall asleep for 30 minutes and wake up ridiculously sleepy. STOP IT!!!

Obama:
I saw the tail end of the Presidential announcement coverage and was terribly excited. I was on the elliptical (showing off, moving like a madwoman) cheesin up a storm (also like a madwoman). I tried to make myself stop but I just felt so proud! I told a girl at work I was so excited I wanted to donate. She said, "He doesn't need your money." Alright. This will be rude.

You are white. You can afford to be politically inactive. I cannot. Since its Black History Month, let me take a moment to educate you. Historically, people of African descent, those who were slaves and whose ancestors were slaves were not allowed to vote. Many people fought, cried and died so I would have the right to voice my opinion, donate to the candidate of my choice, campaign on his or her behalf, then on election day, show up and vote. Medgar Evers was shot in the front yard of his Jackson, MS home, just a few miles from my grandmother's home while his wife and children were inside. His crime? Registering Black people to vote.

I really believe none of us can afford not to vote. Choose the lesser of two evils. Make your voice heard. Otherwise, don't sit around and complain about the lack of services, rising taxes, no national health care plan, the rising cost of insurance, poor roads, etc. etc. because you did not help elect the people who make those decisions. That being said, Black people have an even greater need to vote because for so long we were denied that right. *steps down from soapbox, but likely just temporarily*

The point is, I like Obama even if he doesn't win. I think a Hilary/Obama duo would be a sure loss for him because Hilary is so polarizing. People don't like or dislike her. They love or hate her. That's it. Well, except me. I really don't care. But to win this election, the Democratic candidate will need to have crossover appeal. Republicans hate Hilary with an unbridled passion. During the Obama coverage, several Fox News analyst did everything but call her the anti-Christ. There was a lone Dem (as usual) on there to say, "No she's not," then they carried on with the tv exorcism of her soul.

Sometimes I'm a man:
I really hate picking out cards for Kyle. I love getting them. The really mushy, mashed potato ones. And they make me get all choked up which is very unusual for me. I hate picking out cards for him because I feel so pressured. Like I have to get this fabulous card and none of them have the right words. I looked for 10 minutes, but it felt like my whole life. I finally just picked one up and bought it. I also cannot express how much I love this man. I can't do it. Joy and La have done these great posts that would print out to be 4 page letters and I can barely fill a card. His love overwhelms me. I just can't describe how he makes me feel. English is inadequate.

Valentine's Day:
Lawd have mercy I don't care!! Folk are always ready to slit their wrists over a damn day! I care a lot more about my birthday. Maybe I'll do the history of my Valentine's day tomorrow or something. Right now I just want to tell everyone to quit trippin over it! Know what I want this year? NOTHING!! I just want to see my man! And that has nothing to do with the day. We live 500 miles apart. If I could see him every single day I would. I'm lyin. But if I could see him more than once a month (baby steps, lol) I would be overjoyed. He'll be here Wednesday and I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!

But Snow:
is trying to steal my joy!! It's supposed to snow 4-8" over the next day, the most at one time in the last 2 years (meaning since before I moved here). It was looking like the snow could impact his trip, but now, it likely will not.

Depressives:
I can't hold this in anymore. I'm convinced some people love to be unhappy. I cannot make you happy. I can't tell you how to be happy. That's something you have to find within yourself. I try to be sympathetic. I really do. But when people won't listen to reason, I get frustrated. I work in news. I see death all day. I could tell you some really horrific stories I've helped cover.

A pregnant woman is kidnapped by her neighbor and beaten for several days. Then the neighbor carries her to the woods where she tries to cut her unborn child from her stomach. The woman and her child manage to survive because a teenager just happens to see them in the woods and calls the police.

A 23-month-old girl won't go to bed. Her father reportedly beat her, then carried her 400 yards away to an abandoned playground where he leaves her. The temperatures are in the single digits. The wind chill is below zero. Her footprints in the snow show she got up and toddled around before dying of hypothermia.

A father is taking his triplets to the hospital because one of them gets treatments for a potentially debilitating disease. The truck driver in front of him hadn't properly attached his trailer and reportedly told police he had been drinking and was on oxycotin. The trailer came loose, slamming into the family's van, killing the father and two of the triplets.

Teenagers die all the time in accidents which aren't necessarily their fault. Recently a man reportedly told police he was smoking crack and marijuana all day before he got behind the wheel of a van. He plowed into three parked cars, two pedestrians and an apartment building before coming to a stop. A 17-year-old girl died. The man she was walking with had to have a leg amputated.

I could go on and on and on. Forgive me if I'm less than understanding when all you want to do is tell me how much your life sucks. Every once in a while, just for kicks, celebrate the fact that you still have one.

Dear God (Part 3)

I can't take it. I really can't. The foolish people. I know I'm not supposed to question you so I won't ask why. I'll just request a limit to my contact with them? Right now I feel like I have a ridiculous amount of them bothering me. Not like earlier in life when my patience and tact were a lot closer to zero, but still. Sometimes I really want to shake and choke folk and I know that's not what you want.

You'd probably like me to go to church more, too, since I haven't been in about 15 months now (oooh, heathen). I could give you a myriad of excuses (hmph), but there really isn't one now is there? (show ain't). Especially since the amen corner is so loud over there!! (well, you are wrong, ain't you?) But that's not the point. I'm kind of scared to go to church. I don't want to get struck by lightning. (that surely is a danger with your attendance record right now). That's enough amen corner. (what? tell the truth, shame the devil).

ANYWAY!! How about I just make an effort (any effort at all would be nice). *sigh* I'll start with Bible Study. K, God? On Wednesday nights so there's no excuse of being too tired and working for 11+ hours.

Jameil