Here's what I need you to do in the morning.
- Please leave or do your thing as quietly as possible. This is to ensure you don't disturb me. I probably need two more hours of rest than you do. And unless I'm really tired, I am a light sleeper.
- Don't say my name. No matter how asleep I am, I always hear my name and answer to it. My friends discovered this in undergrad. It makes me laugh! Unless I'm sleeping...
- When you hear me stirring (or more likely see me on twitter/fb), begin to prepare or gather my preferred breakfast. Yes I did. I rarely stray from the classics when not dining at a restaurant. For fast food I either want a bacon, egg & cheese or a sausage egg mcmuffin with cheese. With hash browns. I don't trust fast food grits. Even in the south. If you're going to Chick-fil-a or Bojangles, I want a spicy chicken biscuit. Again, hash browns. If you have never had a Chick-fil-a buttery biscuit, fix your life immediately. At home I want eggs (over medium), grits & bacon or sausage. I can really have either bacon or sausage depending on the day and/or my mood. Sometimes I don't care. Sometimes I want a piece of each. It's weird to me that some days I can't decide. I like them both quite equally. Unless it's turkey bacon. I like all kinds of sausage (chicken, turkey, pork, veggie) but bacon shall only be pork. It was written.* Side note: I
madecooked (my mom hates when I cook and say make) an egg last night and Rashan was jumping when I flipped the egg in the pan. Sir... please take a seat if you're going to flinch at me using a pan to flip a single egg.
- Feed me said breakfast. Silently.
- Check the clock. If one hour has passed since you heard the stirring or read the tweets, proceed with the day. But SLOWLY. You are never sure whether the sleeping bear has fully awakened.
On my wedding day, BFF Stace was SOO excited for me! I was, too. But I wasn't awake yet. So I wanted her to calm down and keep it quiet. I feel like when I first wake up I can hear EVERYTHING. If we've not yet passed the hour mark and I'm chatting and seem almost like myself, it is still not time for loudness. I already hear quite well (everything if you ask my dad!) and have an outrageous sense of smell but when I first wake up? The slightest sound is magnified. Do I have a tumor? Please tell me that doesn't mean I have a tumor. Because I know it's not a hangover.
Fast forward to today and how this all relates back to my patient husband. He's not quite as stringent on his rules but he does need a little time to fully awaken before he's ready to interact with me. This is fine except on those days like today when I have been awake for hours. By the time he's up, I'm ready to have a party! And I've been waiting for HOURS to talk to him! He always fights valiantly to participate in these chats before asking me to turn it from 11 to 5.5. And he's so polite about it. If I have to ask you to turn down your enthusiasm... tisn't pretty. So bless him! LOL
*If you are surprised that the most detailed portion of this post was about food, welcome. This must be your first time here! LOLOL Peruse The Record Dish for my food craziness and later today... MY 2011 THANKSGIVING MENU!!!