This one woman was DRAGGIN!! Her ankles were the size of grapefruits and her wrists the size of softballs. When she came out from her ultrasound/sonogram (IDK! I don't have kids!), she's looking pissed and the dad's beaming. Her daughter is due any day now and will weigh,
wait for it...
wait for it....
9 POUNDS AND 14 OUNCES!!!!!! This is where if I was still cursing there would be a string of expletives. Starting with the daddy. Here is the clean, albeit dialect-filled version.
"NEGRO, WHY IS YOU SO PLEASED??? BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT THE ONE WHO HAS TO PUSH A BOWLING BALL OUT OF YOUR BODY??? BECAUSE I WANTED A CHILD AND YOU GAVE ME SOMETHING SO LARGE I WOULDN'T EVEN BOWL WITH IT. I USE AN 8-LB. BOWLING BALL AND NOW I HAVE TO PUSH ALMOST 10... TEN!!! NEGRO IS YOU LISTENIN, 10 POUNDS!! OUT MY BODY!! WIPE THAT SMILE OFF YO FACE!!"
Lol. I will really try not to be an evil pregnant person in 5-8 years. What? I know y'all didn't think there would be any special announcements! No indeed! All those uncomfortable Pregneeshas I saw today? Pass. Y'all can keep that. For those of you who have children, tell me this, what kind of preggers person did you think you'd be and what kind where you?
Oh and no need to bother to tell me how wonderful it is when the child gets here and blah blah blah. Yeah I'm gonna go ahead and wait for the hubs (husband) to find me, then wait some more, then think about pushing ou... ugh. I can't even finish it. And why did this chick check in and say her birth date was in 1987? I tried to keep the shock off of my face. I know I was born in '82 but DANG!! I thought, "People born in '87 can have babies now??" And I realized she's 21, but then she also had a little one in tow who looked about 2. Better you than me kid, better you than me. No and thank you. *shudder* Why does 21 seem so young now??? I really am getting old.