One Fat PUPpy

You, sir, need a diet.

There's just no other way to put it. People call you "Big Snack"? Good grief. Normally I wouldn't talk about you you know as you play for a team I could care less about and are overweight. But you're paid MILLIONS of dollars each year to just show up and tackle people. Instead... you get played by your coach and everyone else and put on the physically u.nable to p.erform list aka PUP. Or as I call it the Packing on Unnecessary Pounds list. It's usually reserved for those with injuries, not ginormous bellies.

And the g that your coach is, he says, "I don't send messages. I just take action." G!!! Okay that is SO about to be my motto.

The run test he failed involved running the entire length of a football field eight times in an allotted time. So my crazy coworkers (who I helped come up with phrases like, Snacking on S.nickers, Hefty H.ampton, Hint: Fork to Mouth Doesn't Count as a Bicep Curl, Buffet-Bound, and Hungry? I Never Wait.) decided to set up our own little run test in the newsroom. One of the engineers set up cones marking off 50 yards and me and two of my coworkers ran it-- in heels! Eat our dust, PUPpy!! Hahahaha!! I was cracking up! We are SO in better shape than you!

And then I went to the gym... WHY did I decide it was time to get back to work training for the 5k? Because it's been so long? I thought since I did so great on the bike (9 miles Saturday and 6.77 an earlier time) I thought I could do a measly 3.2 on the elliptical. The length of the 5k, right? Yeah... about that... The bike is WAY easier than the elliptical. After 1.5 miles I wondered what exactly I'd gotten myself into. After 2.4 I was reasonably certain I was a masochist. At 2.7 I was thisclose to giving up for fear of my imminent death. I did .10 mile countdowns for the last mile. AND I MADE IT! Now we've got to work up to the track. But regardless... I'm still in better shape than the PUPpy and I don't get paid to do it.

I had to turn off my instant messages-- all 3 of them-- because I cannot stand to answer any more questions about my move. I do it all day long. I need a mental break from that. BUT there are 2 more days of work. Count 'em! 1, 2!!! Ack!!!!


Rashan Jamal said...

LOL @ you running in the newsroom in heels. Crazy!

That's a hot quote. Its applicable in so many facets of life.

Do me a favor and don't die. Good luck with the track portion. I'm sure you'll be ready by the time Oct rolls by.

Opinionated Diva said...

lmao @ that B.S. nickname...Big Snack really????smh

lmao @ running in the office...in heels!

Yeah...I cruise away on the bike myself...but doing the same on the elliptical or the treadmill is PAIN! Congrats to you for being able to do it. My shero...you are!

Definitely in better shape than the PUP!

Sparkling Red said...

You'd think that a professional athlete would make fitness a top priority! I don't get it.

Maybe if they hear you're in better shape than him, they'll want to sub you in for the next game.

dreamyj said...

girl yes! the elliptical is a much better workout than the bike so i applaud you for takin on that challenge.

i completely understand why you are not on any messaging services today, i was wondering where u were, lol.

Vdizzle said...

I. love. Mike. Tomlin. He's always been a G. Doesn't help that he is a handsome lil' thing.

Zackory Kirk said...

Wow... Everyone works together, huh? Do I need to come over to the office?

Getting back in shape, Big Snack, is never fun. I hate working out, but it is a necessary evil.

Open Grove Claudia said...

I love that you are the diet police now! HA!! I so want a moving up date... but... I can wait


Sandy C. said...

No footage of the running in heels? Hmph!

I love your mental timeline on the elliptical. I feel the same way when running.

jameil1922 said...

rj... hahaha. the quote is pimp tight! i'm straight on the dying. i better be good by oct!

diva... i know! did he feel the need to live up? dumb bike! fools you! thanks diva!

red... yeah but you'd be wrong! lol. i wanna go in for the panthers! lol.

dreamy... thanks! i had to get away!!

v... lol. never knew him before he came here and all the stations became stalkers.

zk... hahahaha. come on down! but i only have 2 more days! ha! easier to stay in shape, big snack.

claud... hahaha! i have to keep folk in line! yeah you'll have to wait on that update.

sandy... no! hahaha. i started to tell someone to photograph it but i didn't like my hair. lol. running is AWFUL!!

The Second Sixty-Eight said...

Fine1 No IM! No questions! Fine! WHAT move?!?

Oops. That looks like a question don't it?