8.17.2011

*Sigh* Another Announcement

Yes, I intentionally did that title to trick you.  Because you're waiting for a trick around every corner.  Saying you're expecting it makes me want to do it even more.  You're only making it worse for yourself by asking.  You won't be able to predict it when it comes.  That announcement is gonna come like a thief in the night.

Not like this one.

No this one you KNEW was coming.

Y'all. I have GOT to be able to talk about babies without you getting crazy.  You're ruining my safe space!!  Yes, I'm married.  No, I don't want children right now.  As I've said multiple times.  The greatest offenders are the people who already know this.  Yes, I'm talking about you.  I need my blog to be somewhere where I can talk about people WHO ARE NOT MY HUSBAND trying to get me knocked up without you actually thinking I am.  I don't want to have to say EVERY single time I mention baby or pregnant, "I'm not pregnant."  Just assume I'm not until I tell you I am.  I'm not putting a timeline on it, though I really had ideas that I would share with you guys from the beginning.   Who knows.  I mean real talk, there are things I want to just chatter about now but don't feel like the "Are you pregnant?" hassle.  I mean heck!  I shut down people who offer me their children for a few days.  I'm straight, champ.  Remember, I don't even know how to be an aunt.

It's like when you're single and people are always asking you why you're single or when you're getting married.  NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.  And it's extremely rude to ask about it.  It makes me want to do ridiculous things like post pictures of myself in a bikini holding a newspaper.  And we really don't need that.  I'm trying to get a job.  Why are y'all trying to get me fired before I even get hired (:55)?  Gucci!  That's really mean.  You're putting a financial strain on my 6-week-old marriage (awwww!) by not letting me get a job.  Way to not be there guys.  I KNOW I can't do anything about people in life asking me about it, but you guys are supposed to be my blog la familia!  You're supposed to have my back on this, if nothing else!

Let's make a deal.  I won't make assumptions about your womb if you won't make assumptions about mine.

Great!

Now behave!

11 comments:

ShaBoogiesince1982 said...

LOL! PREACH! Shout it from the mountain tops! "THERE IS NO BABY IN THIS WOMB!!"

K. Rock said...

Glad I am not among those being scolded right now. Babies come when babies come. I wont start bothering you about for at least 5 years. Everybody should enjoy some baby-free time.

Patti said...

I'm glad I'm not in trouble either. I've definitely been where you are and had to tell lots of people (old and young) to get out of my womb. You wont get any baby inquiries from me. Your body, your budget, your baby.

Mrs Count said...

I shall patiently wait. I have your gift already picked out :)

Not So Anonymous said...

LOL...this entire post is hilarious. Let the record reflect I have not and will not ask you about your womb.

GorgeousPuddin said...

I guess I'm gulity! But surely this entire post can't be because of what I said. I was kinda making a jokey statement..but oh well. noted!

Trish said...

Ugh! I know how you feel. I hate when people question me about beinbg single. On the trip this guy asked was I married, I said no. Then he said engaged, again another no. So he's like I mean do you have a boyfriend? Like I have the plague or something, hmph!

Sparkling Red said...

Oh yeah. That's how it is. THAT IS HOW IT IS!

People should NOT be asking about your reproductive business. That is PRIVATE and PERSONAL and nothing is more guaranteed to tick me off than busybodies thinking they can make comments about my parenting potential within five minutes of meeting me. You'd think that it would be slowing down as I get into middle age, but that's one of the downsides of looking ten years younger than I am. People still think I'm a fertile field just waiting to sprout some cute infants for them to cuddle. Bah!

Jameil said...

sha... THERE IS NO BABY IN THIS WOMB!!! LOLOLOL

K... They def. come when they come. 5 years ain't the time either. If I haven't had them by then, it's because there are fertility issues.

p... lolol amen!

mrs.c... i can't w/you!! lolol

nsa... LET THE RECORD SHOW!!! -Claire Huxtable I thank you so much for this! :)

gp... you certainly played your part.

trish... that foolishness is SO ANNOYING!!!

red... I really wish more people would understand how private and personal! It's really like inviting yourself into our bedroom and boy I really wish you wouldn't. When you make that parallel, people act all offended. Eye roll. Please exit stage left.

mrstdj said...

Hilarious post!! Nope, won't ever ask. Folks stayed asking me and hubby! Then, as soon as we had our son, the question changed to, well when are you gonna have another!!! UGH!! Kill it please!! Work on being a great wife and auntie!! *LOL*

Jameil said...

Bless you, my child!!