8.11.2011

Orbs of Joy

My husband broke a very important covenant last week.  And I'm reasonably certain he may have broken a vow.  I learned something about him that really hurt my heart.  I found out...

Rashan...




doesn't....





know how to....









boil eggs....


*Moment of silence*


*use it to reflect on the gravity of this broken covenant and to pray for our marital bonds*


Y'all... it's time to talk about a subject very close to my heart.  I know I told y'all I love eggs but no, I REALLY love eggs.  I love almost everything egg.  So much so that I could really eat eggs 6xs a week.  I mean that. 

Do you know how I found out he couldn't boil eggs?  I asked him to boil one for me b/c I was on my way home.  He asked how, I told him but do you know he said, "I cracked one of the eggs when I put it in the water."  I was like HOW DID YOU DO THAT???  Did you drop it in from 5 feet??  He said "No, the water was boiling and it cracked."  What????  You're supposed to put it on from the beginning.  Lawd.  I thought he ACTUALLY knew how to boil an egg and needed a refresher, not up to the minute instructions.  Can you use the internet please???  I just... this is unacceptable.  And then I find out it's a familial problem.  His sister learned a couple of years ago.  AND SHE'S ALMOST 40!?!   Who the Bleep Did I Marry?? (Great show BTW)

Over medium is my absolute favorite egg.  ABSOLUTE FAVE!!  Poached as in eggs benedict is my 2nd.  Boiled is number three.  Boiled eggs go in my tuna salad, potato salad and you can't forget the standard deviled eggs!  I can get with scrambled every once in a blue moon but they need to have something scrambled with them to strike my fancy.  Smoked salmon scrambled?  Ahhh yep!  Hold the dill.  My line sister introduced me to boiled egg, bacon & cheese sandwiches in undergrad and I'm so down!!  Delish!

You know what egg product I can't get with?  Mayonnaise.  I've never liked it very much but it's gotten progressively worse in the last year.  I now like it less and less with every passing week.  A little as a binder in the aforementioned salads and maybe coleslaw but that's it.  Sometimes the thought of it makes me shudder.

When I told my mom I didn't like mayo anymore, she said, "What's wrong with you?!"  19 months pregnant pause.  Sigh.  She doesn't say it but sometimes I hear in her silence, "Are you pregnant?"  YOUR MOM'S PREGNANT!  LOL  That's how pregnant I am.  Your mom and I are equally pregnant.  She claims she was so not thinking that but I don't believe her.

Speaking of eggs... I really want a quail egg.  This Asian market around the street from my place in Gainesville (I never walked to stores there b/c the streets were so busy but it was definitely walking distance) had quail eggs on the cheap but I was afraid to buy them because I was living alone and I didn't have a recipe off the top of my head.  WELL I HAVE SEVERAL NOW!!  I just need to go to my local Asian purveyor and get me some quail eggs!

**If you were skimming this and saw pregnant and got excited, READ.  I am not pregnant.  Just want to clear that up for you.

11 comments:

Nicole said...

My boyfriend won't eat anything white. That's right, he won't eat anything white. He's basically a food racist. So obviously he despises mayo. The only white exceptions he'll make are white rice, milk and vanilla ice cream. He also won't eat anything creamy or cheesy, although he'll eat pizza. His food habits make no sense.

mrstdj said...

Oh you poor thing. **shakes head slowly in mourning** Ya'll need counseling ASAP to get past this major marital hurdle! *lol* I love boiled eggs, but I'm kinda iffy on them any other way. It comes from the fact that I need then over, over, over done. As in scrambled hard like little pellet. Fried with the yolk broken and flattened with the spatula. Now mayo??? Love that almost as much as I love bacon and butter!

Rashan Jamal said...

So you're saying you're pregnant??? Would have been nice to tell me first. *storms off* LOL

The Goddess said...

OMG you crack me up. I'm not even going to comment about Rashan's not knowing how to boil eggs since I felt the wrath of RashMEIL on twitter when you mentioned it. Lol

Before we became vegan I LOVED eggs also. I ate them everyday literally in college for lunch for like a year. Obsessive!!!

It's funny because my little guy loves them and will also try and eat them daily. He's so funny. He used to call boiled eggs circle eggs. Poached eggs are his favorite right now. Lol.

sayitlikethis said...

I, too, could probably eat eggs every single day. Add some spinach to that daily menu and I'm in heaven.

Boiled eggs are the bomb. Usually have two for breakfast. And it's a great to-go food.

Scrambled soft or over-hard (need that yolk cooked all the way through) are my faves.

And I have yet to meet an omelet that I didn't like.

Nerd Girl said...

Why would Rashan want or need to know how to boil eggs? They are the nastiest things on the planet!!!

Mayonnaise is equally blech.

I need sorbet to cleanse my palate after reading this. I don't feel good....

GorgeousPuddin said...

I LOVE EGGS!!! Yum!! Yum!! Yum!!! I hate so many other food things!

Well I'm glad that you were able to teach him and you two can overcome this marital hurdle with grace! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

ShaBoogiesince1982 said...

BWAHAHAA!! Wait. Hilarious. Rashan's comment? Even more hilarious! My hubby is a boiling egg PRO. Simply because that is the only way my step daughter will eat eggs, ha!

Sparkling Red said...

Would you believe I only recently learned that I've been boiling eggs wrong all my life? I did it like my mother taught me, and she taught me wrong. All her fault, so there. The crazy thing is that I also love eggs. And hate mayonnaise. Egg sisters!

Ladynay said...

This post made me smile! I never really thought about the proper process of boiling an egg before today! LOL!

Jameil said...

Nicole... what now??? LOL! I love food idiosyncrasies! His exceptions are the killers! Like... what???

mrstdj... this... is so sad, isn't it?!!?? who doesn't know how to boil an egg?? i'm sad abt your overcooking of eggs. :((( Do you have to murder them??? Bacon & butter I can get with but mayo??? No indeed.

rj... go home, roger!!!

tg... do you understand that eggs are 95% of the reason I will never be a vegan? poached = awesome! what a great kid to already know that!

sayit... lol. i like spinach, too but not as much as eggs! boiled.. mmmm. over hard is edible for me but just like a boiled egg so i don't love it as much as over medium. i love omelets, too!

ng... HE'S MARRIED TO ME!!! IT WAS IN OUR VOWS!!! You are so sad for not liking eggs.

gp... yum!!!!!! i feel like you hate 90% of the things i love. you win some points back. however, we have NOT overcome this. we're not out of the woods until he has successfully boiled me an egg!!

sha... don't encourage him. can your husband teach mine???

red... I'VE NEVER HAD AN EGG SISTER!!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!! I'd love to know the wrong way you were doing it! LOL

lady... lolol me either! i thought it was just a known entity!