Better You Than Me

I know I've said this multiple times before, but the best thing about my job is getting off at 10 in the morning and not having to deal with crowds. I got in anywhere from 11:30 p.m. to 1 a.m. That means I never have to deal with traffic either. (Unless there's construction on the parkway. But trying to get around it has forced me to learn my way around this city... the east side and eastern suburbs anyway.) I've also gotten very accustomed to being able to do almost anything without fighting for a parking space, or standing in line, or having to wait for customer service.

I exhibited this about 2 weeks ago in Victoria's Secret. I got a free product card and it was the last day. There was no line, but I'd left the free product and had to go back and get it. By the time I got back after trying to find the size, color, and style I want (this is where I say WHY!?!? Why are there so many styles, and sizes and colors? But mostly STYLES!?! Sometimes I want to be a dude and just walk in and be like "small", pick up the Wally World multi-pack and be done. Just like vanity sizing.) the line is now 3 people long. Sigh. But not that bad and I've already been to the gym and really have nothing else to do. Except... two of those 3 people have returns. Son of a!! So this turns into a 15 minute wait in line. You know me. I immediately come home and write a note letting them know I don't appreciate that! There were other people in the store who could ring as the line grew to 5 and 6 customers. The result: $25 gift certificate and profuse apologies. Complaining doesn't always get you free stuff, but I just need to be heard!!!

Today. I produced the noon show. I got off at 12:45, went to the gym, then the grocery store. Not bad on either front, AND there was this GORGEOUS guy working there. Heeeeey boo. Chocolate chocolate self. I always see people I've never seen before when I go an off time. And it always makes me want to regularly come at that time except I can't because it's a fluke that I'm there then. Then I go to the post office.

Lord Jesus help me!

I'd never seen this many cars in the parking lot but I think maybe it's not that bad. Until I get inside and the line is in the doorway. I check the clock-- 3:08-- and decide to just stick it out. I'd already determined I had to send out the first batch of Christmas cards today. I decide to do a few calf extensions. The lady behind me says, "Are you exercising?" I say, "Yes," fully expecting to be mildly chastized, and she replies, "Good idea." Lol. Me and Chr.is B.rown "Ki.ss Kiss" then I decide I want something a bit more upbeat so I turn to one of my workout playlists and hear "I'm H.ot" by Missy for the 4th time today. No lie. I just kept hitting repeat at the end of the song. I looked at my iTunes stats and it's the most played song on my ipod. Know why? Because it's on every workout playlist and I only listen to the pod at the gym. Holla!

Anyway. Waiting, waiting. 3:21 I finally get up to the counter to get these ugly, corny-looking stamps. They look like they're knit. Womp. Those were the ones that went even halfway with my funky envelopes. And I still can't stand them. I wanted a poinsetta or a snowflake. No dice on either. The post office is trippin. Actually I kind of liked the Hanukkah ones more, and was very tempted to get them. The dude was pushing the Kwanzaa ones. He was trying my blackness. Lol. After putting stamps on a million (or 27, whatever) envelopes and walk out. It's 3:25. Wow. All that? But I actually stayed calm. I was proud of myself. I leave only to be assaulted by this impossibly long line of traffic to get to the crib. WHAT IS THE DEAL!?!? Y'all can have this traffic crap. I just want to work hours where its normal for me to go to bed at 3 in the morning. That's my actual body clock and I miss it. Poor, poor body.

To console myself, I had a honey ham and sharp white cheddar cheese sandwich with spicy mustard on homestyle bread and an Amber Bock beer. I do feel much calmer now. Ahhhhhh.


Vdizzle said...

Amber Bock rox!! Traffic doesn't.

Going in at 2 p.m. helps me because I wake up and 10 and everybody is inside when I run errands.

Stacie von Kutieboots said...

is amber bock the beer that has hinges on the top? like, a sugar jar? if so, it was the only liq served at the LA-esque gallery.

chocolate-chocolate nig? owww! heeeeey boo!

i love how you're so productive and sneak a work out in the post office! get it multi-tasking!

kwanzaa stamps? no thanks.

La said...

DAMMIT! I cannot come to your spot without getting hungry, lol.

*off to troll the refrigerator but nothing in there sounds as good as what you had*

Kacie said...

Traffic is so ridiculous. I make sure to be home (or within 5 minutes of home) by 3:45 or 4 p.m. to avoid the evening rush.

And I live in the north hills...it seems like it's much worse on the south side with the tunnels.

Sandy C. said...

I can totally relate. I used to work night shift in hospitals, and I never had to worry about lines or traffic. It's a great feeling...especially when you have to rely on catching Zzz's during the day :)

the joy said...

Lmao imagine having to do that before work and ending up late for work...

"I'm really really hot, every time my record drops..." that's your strut song, that's clear. Mine is... Oh I have a lot. "she wants to move," "struting like a GOD," "green light"...

Who did you write to? I need to find me some customer service numbers if I can get some free lip gloss... Morally sound, well deserved lipgloss, I mean.

jameil1922 said...

v... yay beer! boo traffic. see? your sked. that's what i'm talkin about.

stace... no. loooove chocolate dudes. the post office workout was probably o.d.! stop hatin on kwanzaa!! faux african.

la... lol. i'm sure you can find something!

kacie... south and west are def worse. its horrid.

sandy... indeed.

joy... yes, that is the point of me mentioning it.... you are so special. everyone has websites.

Liz said...

I am SO impressed that you wrote your complaint note to VS. Good for you because with all the sales people up in there, that wait is unnecessary. Wonder will that work in Forever 21 because their waits are out of control.

I went to the mall on Sunday afternoon to see Atonement and it was SO crowded that it made me feel like I was about to get trampled. No more of that till Christmas is over!

Tasha said...

I just got hungry reading this post.

I used to work nights too, and I loved the easy traffic, easy errand running, and (usually) uninterrupted sleep.

I got the same crazy "knitted" stamps too. I didn't want the Kwanzaa ones. I hate how the post office people only push them on black folk. Ugggh...I might have to write a post about that

Sparkling Red said...

Malls in December = Ugh!
Traffic in December = Nnngggghhh! Line-ups in December = Triple-Unhappy-Frowny-Face!

Delicious Sandwich in December =
Mmmmmm! :-)

jameil1922 said...

liz... i STAY letting my displeasure be known. i think its only right that if you claim customer service i let you know when you are failing in your mission. if i owned a business, i'd need to know this, too.

t... i looooove food. who came up with this knit idea and why aren't there more classy generic stamps? blog it out girl!!

red... lolol. it's all about food!! food is life! live to eat!