12.15.2007

Dear Parents,

This will not be popular, but it must be said. Do me a favor, will ya? Do not bore me with your stories about your children. If you're proud of your child's accomplishment(s), that's great. You should be. But when you are talking for 15 minutes about your kid, you're crossing a line. I can't be bothered to care that much. I really can't. To quote CC, "I can't! I can't, I can't!" If I ask, give me a 5 minute anecdote. If I don't ask, you get even less time. That means keep it under 2:30, people. Not to be a time nazi, but really, it is MY time, so I reserve the right. Don't you remember back when you weren't a parent how much you didn't care? It's one thing if I voluntarily go to your blog and read all about your little ones. I can press x if I don't like it, but most of the time I do. It's quite another when I'm at work and am essentially a captive audience. I have no relation to these children so let's keep it to a minimum.

Thanks.

P.S. If you are a parent, thank Cnel for the following important announcement.

11 comments:

Stacie von Kutieboots said...

i think 'captive audience' is the funniest thing ever!!! OMG, i was a captive audience yesterday. and kinder teacher wanted to show me her class could sign "Do you hear what i hear"

do you know how long that song is? do you also know that
1) i'm not the biggest fan of vanessa williams
2) do you hear what I hear is one of my LEAST fave christmas songs???

15 min is a horrendously long time for anything you don't care about. lo siento!

Chris said...

*September 25, 1981 - December 15, 2007....here lies Chris. He died laughing at that video!*

Solace said...

Ok...this is so funny...

Sandy C. said...

ROFL! I had to forward that video to everyone I knew....parent or not. It's so true. I even have a child, and it annoys me to no end when people talk on-an-on about their kids.

Mademoiselle M said...

I knew you had cooties! lol. so when i have kids, i'll be sure to leave long dissertations in ur comment box about them, k? lol

jameil1922 said...

stace... lmao!! i so thought of this as i got dressed for work today. HUHlarious. i'm so singing that on your voicemail today. 5 mins is horrendously long if i don't care! save it for grandma!!

chris... hahahahaha

solace... lol.

sandy... let em know! STOP TALKING!! the life updates that last for 15 mins make me want to be come a cutter!

mm... I DO NOT!! and you bet not!

Stacie von Kutieboots said...

circle circle dot dot , now you have your cootie shot

circle circle square square, now you have it everywhere

circle circle knife knife, now you have it for your life.

what you know bout that vaccine?? i'm going to get my kinders checked out.


LMAO!!

La said...

LMFAO at the video! lol

There's a great scene from an episode of Friends that perfectly captures what happens to parents (and in some cases newlyweds- you know, the dreaded "we" women). Rachel is going on and on about her daughter's weight and then there's a pause before she says...
"What DID we used to talk about?"

oh, you mean back when your were interesting? lol
I love kid stories, especially if they're absurd or ridiculous. but I'm notsomuch with the 20 minute tales of how your kid smeared peas on his eyeballs.

1969 said...

Ooooooh....I am telling the Tali's right now!

jameil1922 said...

stace... get em checked!!! lolol

la... you know what tho? there's a limit. when you're spending 5 mins (I work in tv... my attention span is rarely that long... you should see me with the remote... click click click click) on unsolicited details about the kids, you're annoying me. if i ask, fine. if not, keep it tight.

1969... tell em to protect themselves!!!!!!!

X Factor said...

Can youuuuu talk about yourself for 15 minutes?????? Hmm...