I'm too crunk right now. The bf will be here in 6 hours and one minute. I CAN'T WAIT!! I got money, I baked a cake, got gas yesterday, washed dishes, cleaned the kitchen, dammit i forgot the candles! he'll be alright. i had to go to the store TWICE for that cake and buy two cake pans. today we'll just go to dinner. tomorrow we're going to legacy square (at pnc park-- home of the 13 game losing streak pittsburgh pirates) where there is a tribute to negro league players, to the roberto clemente bridge (formerly the 9th st. bridge) to look at the all-star game banners (the all-star game is here on july 11th), to kennywood amusement park (i got free tix from the job), and... to meet my dad. they've never met before. oooh! lol.
what's left? i still gotta pack and frost the cake. and i'm gangsta tired. like sooooo sleepy. i need a nap. aight y'all i gotta go. peace.
6.29.2006
6.26.2006
Bad Blood
this is not how i wanted to spend my 100th post. i wanted to do something miraculous. something amazing. something that would make the people wanna come back for more. something that would get more comments, questions, and concern than a little bit. i even consulted with stace. i mean i talk to her as much as or more than the bf. she's absolutely one of my closest friends. i said what should i post about? we batted a couple of ideas around. another state of black america. why i love the bf. something i've been withholding. and those are coming but it just wasn't time.
for a while now there's been something bugging me. really bugging me. and i don't feel i have the freedom to talk about it. but suffice it to say i'm feeling used and unappreciated and i need to go back to church. matter of fact i need to find a church here. but then my mom's been telling me that for the last year. on july 8th i will have been in pittsburgh for a year. but i still don't have any forever friends here. there's one girl at work i'm closest to who may be someone i keep in contact with when one or both of us leaves. but the other people, i know if we ever keep in contact, we'll eventually let it go. which doesn't bother me so much. but it does bother me i haven't really made a connection here. despite myself, i like pittsburgh. i just don't want to live here. i would love to visit. in preparation for the bf's trip here on thursday... yay! :) i asked people at work about stuff to do. they gave me 3 pages of ideas. so many i'm exhausted on top of the ideas duck gave me, many of which were the same.
and i miss him. immensely. i know he'll be here in three days, but i mean beyond that. he was one of my closest friends first. when i don't talk to him for one day it feels like forever. yeah, i know. i've got it bad. but he does too so its ok. sometimes its overwhelming. i'm used to being around a lot of people i know and love who love me back. to being the life of the party who always knows where the party is and who to party with. i don't have that here. its discomforting. and kind of scary. if my dad wasn't here i don't know what i'd do. july 8th marks a year. one entire year. that's amazing. and there are things i need to do. some re-evaluating. and that's scary.
so where does the bad blood come in? i'm just going to leave it at there is an unsettled part of my life that needs to be changed. when the time comes, i'll let you all in.
for a while now there's been something bugging me. really bugging me. and i don't feel i have the freedom to talk about it. but suffice it to say i'm feeling used and unappreciated and i need to go back to church. matter of fact i need to find a church here. but then my mom's been telling me that for the last year. on july 8th i will have been in pittsburgh for a year. but i still don't have any forever friends here. there's one girl at work i'm closest to who may be someone i keep in contact with when one or both of us leaves. but the other people, i know if we ever keep in contact, we'll eventually let it go. which doesn't bother me so much. but it does bother me i haven't really made a connection here. despite myself, i like pittsburgh. i just don't want to live here. i would love to visit. in preparation for the bf's trip here on thursday... yay! :) i asked people at work about stuff to do. they gave me 3 pages of ideas. so many i'm exhausted on top of the ideas duck gave me, many of which were the same.
and i miss him. immensely. i know he'll be here in three days, but i mean beyond that. he was one of my closest friends first. when i don't talk to him for one day it feels like forever. yeah, i know. i've got it bad. but he does too so its ok. sometimes its overwhelming. i'm used to being around a lot of people i know and love who love me back. to being the life of the party who always knows where the party is and who to party with. i don't have that here. its discomforting. and kind of scary. if my dad wasn't here i don't know what i'd do. july 8th marks a year. one entire year. that's amazing. and there are things i need to do. some re-evaluating. and that's scary.
so where does the bad blood come in? i'm just going to leave it at there is an unsettled part of my life that needs to be changed. when the time comes, i'll let you all in.
6.21.2006
State of Black America Part VI: Education
"If you want to hide something from a Black person, just but it in a book." How many times have you heard that phrase? How many times did you think it was true? The most offensive thing about that phrase is the truth. There are many people, Black and white who take pride in the fact that they don't read, or hate reading. Reading made me the person I am today. Inquisitive, argumentative, intriguing, wordy, you call it. You would be hard pressed to find me going anywhere without a book right through college. Not even riding to church was book-free.
I had my own ideas about reading and education. It probably helped I grew up in a predominately white neighborhood where I was never teased or berated for asking questions in class or preferring a book to playing outside. But who knows. I may have become the person I am no matter where I grew up. And yet there was still the underlying assumption athletes were way cooler than smart people. In elementary school I was in the Chess Club and the Computer club. In high school I was invited to the Honor Society, given the French I, II, and III awards for excellence, captain of the Debate Team, Vice President of the Physics Club, drum major in the band, Sophomore Board, and Junior Board. Nerd right? That's exactly what I said. I hated telling people younger than 25 my activities. I wanted people to think I was cool, too before they got to know me.
I should explain the Physics Club thing. I hated Physics. I had a horrible teacher who was "too smart" to teach anyone who couldn't grasp it through osmosis. That means me. She made the Vice Presidency like a bank. You know how banks have multiple VPs? You give $5 to charity, you could put Physics Club VP on your college application.
Remember the episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air where Will hid his books in a pizza box? It was never that serious, but who wants to be that nerd? They want to be celebrated like the athletes. In other countries parents and students alike risk life and limb to educate themselves and their offspring. And even in America, in other cultures, education is far more highly valued. And its not just the affluent who try to give their children that extra push. We need to be doing the same things.
Two of my friends teach in "inner city" schools. One at a middle school in Greensboro, NC, the other at a high school in Baltimore, Md. Both schools have problems with student and parent involvement, extracurricular activities, math, science, and reading. They're both english teachers. Both have children who can barely read. BARELY READ. 11th grade students can't read. In America. In 2006. I asked her if she failed anyone. She said yes. I said, "Well, they can't go to the next grade, can they?" She said, "Technically, no, but they always find a way around it." Hmm... so social promotion is still alive and well? Oh yeah says my other friend who talks about all the hoops you have to jump through to fail a child. This is after the study sessions, letters to the parent begging for conferences, phone calls home, notes about lack of school work, any other way you can think of to try to drive home the importance of the child's education.
And how one student who has been in the 6th grade three times will just be promoted because he's getting too old to be around children that young. And what will we do when he has to just drop out because he doesn't understand it. And he has to sell drugs to make any decent money because he has no desire to work at McDonald's for $6 an hour for the rest of his life. And no one's ever told him he needs his education to avoid that life. And that better things are possible no matter where you come from or who your parents are. What about all the juniors in that Baltimore high school who don't believe they can go to college? Even the smart ones who work hard? Or what about the fact that the honors class includes students who have a C average or better? Or the fact there are no Advanced Placement or International Baccalaureate programs in these schools and may never be? How long can we continue to not fight for equal education.
Swann v. Charlotte-Mecklenburg Board of Education started in my home school system in 1971. Its purpose was to enforce busing as a method to integrate schools since separate but equal was anything but. It was passed, helping Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools become one of the best public school systems in the state for all children. But you will still see a marked difference between the predominately black schools and the predominately white ones if for no other reason than they have better teachers they can retain, parental involvement leading to matching corporate funds for activities. About 6 years ago, a white parent complained the Swann ruling discriminated against her child because the child was kept out of some school because she was white. So it was overturned or re-worked to revert back to neighborhood (see segregated) schools. The decline has begun.
History is cyclical. If you don't know your past, you are doomed to repeat it. There are people in positions of power who have never had a Black person in their homes, never been to a Black person's home, would discourage their children from Black friends or dating Black people, and most famously, have used the phrase, "Some of my best friends are Black." And in some cases, they don't even know what they're saying and how their actions speak louder than their diversity words. One visiting professional to Hampton talked to us about how she was often the only Black person and sometimes only woman in boardrooms. She looked at a magazine and saw no Black faces. She asked if they wanted Black people to read the magazine and buy the products? Of course they said yes. She then pointed out there was not a single Black face in the entire magazine. Because they were all white, and all male, they hadn't noticed. It doesn't directly impact their lives so its hard for them to see. That's why we're a necessity. Not only in boardrooms, but in every other decision making arm of our nation that shapes our future. Attorneys, law enforcement, journalists, publishers, accountants, politicians, executives, TEACHERS. Our future is too important to but into someone else's hands. It starts in the classroom.
Previous State of Black America Posts:
Part I: The Athlete
Part II: Katrina
Part III: Hair
Part IV: Rapists and Child Molesters
Part V: Names
I had my own ideas about reading and education. It probably helped I grew up in a predominately white neighborhood where I was never teased or berated for asking questions in class or preferring a book to playing outside. But who knows. I may have become the person I am no matter where I grew up. And yet there was still the underlying assumption athletes were way cooler than smart people. In elementary school I was in the Chess Club and the Computer club. In high school I was invited to the Honor Society, given the French I, II, and III awards for excellence, captain of the Debate Team, Vice President of the Physics Club, drum major in the band, Sophomore Board, and Junior Board. Nerd right? That's exactly what I said. I hated telling people younger than 25 my activities. I wanted people to think I was cool, too before they got to know me.
I should explain the Physics Club thing. I hated Physics. I had a horrible teacher who was "too smart" to teach anyone who couldn't grasp it through osmosis. That means me. She made the Vice Presidency like a bank. You know how banks have multiple VPs? You give $5 to charity, you could put Physics Club VP on your college application.
Remember the episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air where Will hid his books in a pizza box? It was never that serious, but who wants to be that nerd? They want to be celebrated like the athletes. In other countries parents and students alike risk life and limb to educate themselves and their offspring. And even in America, in other cultures, education is far more highly valued. And its not just the affluent who try to give their children that extra push. We need to be doing the same things.
Two of my friends teach in "inner city" schools. One at a middle school in Greensboro, NC, the other at a high school in Baltimore, Md. Both schools have problems with student and parent involvement, extracurricular activities, math, science, and reading. They're both english teachers. Both have children who can barely read. BARELY READ. 11th grade students can't read. In America. In 2006. I asked her if she failed anyone. She said yes. I said, "Well, they can't go to the next grade, can they?" She said, "Technically, no, but they always find a way around it." Hmm... so social promotion is still alive and well? Oh yeah says my other friend who talks about all the hoops you have to jump through to fail a child. This is after the study sessions, letters to the parent begging for conferences, phone calls home, notes about lack of school work, any other way you can think of to try to drive home the importance of the child's education.
And how one student who has been in the 6th grade three times will just be promoted because he's getting too old to be around children that young. And what will we do when he has to just drop out because he doesn't understand it. And he has to sell drugs to make any decent money because he has no desire to work at McDonald's for $6 an hour for the rest of his life. And no one's ever told him he needs his education to avoid that life. And that better things are possible no matter where you come from or who your parents are. What about all the juniors in that Baltimore high school who don't believe they can go to college? Even the smart ones who work hard? Or what about the fact that the honors class includes students who have a C average or better? Or the fact there are no Advanced Placement or International Baccalaureate programs in these schools and may never be? How long can we continue to not fight for equal education.
Swann v. Charlotte-Mecklenburg Board of Education started in my home school system in 1971. Its purpose was to enforce busing as a method to integrate schools since separate but equal was anything but. It was passed, helping Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools become one of the best public school systems in the state for all children. But you will still see a marked difference between the predominately black schools and the predominately white ones if for no other reason than they have better teachers they can retain, parental involvement leading to matching corporate funds for activities. About 6 years ago, a white parent complained the Swann ruling discriminated against her child because the child was kept out of some school because she was white. So it was overturned or re-worked to revert back to neighborhood (see segregated) schools. The decline has begun.
History is cyclical. If you don't know your past, you are doomed to repeat it. There are people in positions of power who have never had a Black person in their homes, never been to a Black person's home, would discourage their children from Black friends or dating Black people, and most famously, have used the phrase, "Some of my best friends are Black." And in some cases, they don't even know what they're saying and how their actions speak louder than their diversity words. One visiting professional to Hampton talked to us about how she was often the only Black person and sometimes only woman in boardrooms. She looked at a magazine and saw no Black faces. She asked if they wanted Black people to read the magazine and buy the products? Of course they said yes. She then pointed out there was not a single Black face in the entire magazine. Because they were all white, and all male, they hadn't noticed. It doesn't directly impact their lives so its hard for them to see. That's why we're a necessity. Not only in boardrooms, but in every other decision making arm of our nation that shapes our future. Attorneys, law enforcement, journalists, publishers, accountants, politicians, executives, TEACHERS. Our future is too important to but into someone else's hands. It starts in the classroom.
Previous State of Black America Posts:
Part I: The Athlete
Part II: Katrina
Part III: Hair
Part IV: Rapists and Child Molesters
Part V: Names
6.17.2006
Crazy Week
So my mini-vacay starts Monday. I'm off for three days. But don't tell anyone b/c one of those days might disappear. You know how unsolicited (and solicited) days have a way of doing that when someone else is responsible for your schedule.
Why does Making the Band 3's Wanita's mama think <--------that is the correct way to spell Juanita. I know I can't talk since my name is Jameil and its pronounced "Jamel." But my mom spelled it the pretty way, not the way it sounded. So stop hatin. Raise your hand if you've been pronouncing my name wrong in your head. Go head. Put 'em up.
So... I'm tempted to see what's the earliest time I can start drinking this week. I have a beer right now. I started it at 11am. That's not good enough. I've been up since 930 last night so its not as bad as it sounds. But I'd like to see how bad I can get. I learned from my producer, "Its deceptively hard to find some place to drink at 9 in the morning." Fell out laughing b/c I definitely understand. Why do I need a drink today? Because I just finished producing my first full show. I produced last week, but it was a waaaaaaaaay abbreviated show at only 30 minutes. Today... 3 HOURS. That's right. The news marathon. Afterwards I wanted to teleport home so I could start drinking sooner.
OMG! Have you seen these MTV commercials where the kids are instructing the parents to use condoms/practice safe sex/etc.? Hilarious. Back to MTB3. I'm sittin here bawlin like a baby watching the portion in New Orleans. Sooooooooooo sad. I'm getting to the point where I hear New Orleans and feel ready to cry. But did y'all hear about people spending FEMA money on Girls Gone Wild tapes, football tickets, champagne at Hooters, getting their nails done (did), and here's the best... sex changes! That's right. Sex changes. Now its not funny b/c there are people who still need help who will have an even harder time getting it, but its hilarious that people would think to spend money on these things!! And that there were no restrictions! Wow... you know how they have guv'ment cheese? Do they have guv'ment sex changes? Are they discounted, cut rate sex changes? Do you get only half the process? Just wondering.
Some other things I was wondering. I saw the largest popcorn kernels in America on the ground near this bakery-type factory or something near my house. Now first I would just like to ask, if I live so close to this place, why doesn't it smell like cake everyday? It doesn't smell like anything. Do they bake this stuff far away, box it up without wrappers, then ship it to my house? Because I see Tastycake and something else trucks, but I smell no goodness. That's what you're eating? Stuff they box w/o wrappers and ship to be wrapped? Nasty. So the popcorn. I see this dude standing amongst it the other day and I'm disgusted. But then I decide he's there to clean up that mess. Today I see it again and I'm like WHAT'S THE DEAL?! Guys. I've never been here in spring. I had to look waaaaaaaay up to the top of the giant tree... They were flower petals. Word life. (the funniest phrase in the world to me) I have never, EVER seen a flower bearing tree that large. And though you now think my perception is severely skewed, let me just say this tree is at least 20 feet tall. Now imagine the flowers. Let ya mind go free.
Beer number too now. (And I PROMISE I had all these thoughts prior to a single drink, tho I am quite tired). Watching Rev. Run's House now. Nice. Love this show. LOVE! But not as much as I love el bf-o (yeah that's right Karamale and Cuban Stace, that's Spanish for "the bf"). He'll be here in 12 days, 8 hours and 2 minutes Whooooo hooooooooooo!! Next thought. I saw a dead raccoon on the way home. I thought to myself, is there raccoon peer pressure? Like the raccoon in the street. What possessed him to cross the street at that moment? Was he thinking, I can beat this. I know I can beat this. That big ass deer with the bright eyes growling up the hill at me can't touch this. (that's how they see cars) I'm goin for it. Raccoon friend, "Don't do it Billy." Raccoon Hater, "Do it. I bet you won't do it. I bet you're scared." Original Raccoon, "I bet I will, I bet I will." RH, "I bet you won't, I bet you won't." OR, "YES I WILL!! *BOOF!* @#@^%&#$%^" *RH walks away shaking head and laughing* "Stupid."
Now THAT'S imagination. Don't hate. I have an inquisitive mind. Its called genius. Get in my mindspace son. And I'm out. *swagger*
Why does Making the Band 3's Wanita's mama think <--------that is the correct way to spell Juanita. I know I can't talk since my name is Jameil and its pronounced "Jamel." But my mom spelled it the pretty way, not the way it sounded. So stop hatin. Raise your hand if you've been pronouncing my name wrong in your head. Go head. Put 'em up.
So... I'm tempted to see what's the earliest time I can start drinking this week. I have a beer right now. I started it at 11am. That's not good enough. I've been up since 930 last night so its not as bad as it sounds. But I'd like to see how bad I can get. I learned from my producer, "Its deceptively hard to find some place to drink at 9 in the morning." Fell out laughing b/c I definitely understand. Why do I need a drink today? Because I just finished producing my first full show. I produced last week, but it was a waaaaaaaaay abbreviated show at only 30 minutes. Today... 3 HOURS. That's right. The news marathon. Afterwards I wanted to teleport home so I could start drinking sooner.
OMG! Have you seen these MTV commercials where the kids are instructing the parents to use condoms/practice safe sex/etc.? Hilarious. Back to MTB3. I'm sittin here bawlin like a baby watching the portion in New Orleans. Sooooooooooo sad. I'm getting to the point where I hear New Orleans and feel ready to cry. But did y'all hear about people spending FEMA money on Girls Gone Wild tapes, football tickets, champagne at Hooters, getting their nails done (did), and here's the best... sex changes! That's right. Sex changes. Now its not funny b/c there are people who still need help who will have an even harder time getting it, but its hilarious that people would think to spend money on these things!! And that there were no restrictions! Wow... you know how they have guv'ment cheese? Do they have guv'ment sex changes? Are they discounted, cut rate sex changes? Do you get only half the process? Just wondering.
Some other things I was wondering. I saw the largest popcorn kernels in America on the ground near this bakery-type factory or something near my house. Now first I would just like to ask, if I live so close to this place, why doesn't it smell like cake everyday? It doesn't smell like anything. Do they bake this stuff far away, box it up without wrappers, then ship it to my house? Because I see Tastycake and something else trucks, but I smell no goodness. That's what you're eating? Stuff they box w/o wrappers and ship to be wrapped? Nasty. So the popcorn. I see this dude standing amongst it the other day and I'm disgusted. But then I decide he's there to clean up that mess. Today I see it again and I'm like WHAT'S THE DEAL?! Guys. I've never been here in spring. I had to look waaaaaaaay up to the top of the giant tree... They were flower petals. Word life. (the funniest phrase in the world to me) I have never, EVER seen a flower bearing tree that large. And though you now think my perception is severely skewed, let me just say this tree is at least 20 feet tall. Now imagine the flowers. Let ya mind go free.
Beer number too now. (And I PROMISE I had all these thoughts prior to a single drink, tho I am quite tired). Watching Rev. Run's House now. Nice. Love this show. LOVE! But not as much as I love el bf-o (yeah that's right Karamale and Cuban Stace, that's Spanish for "the bf"). He'll be here in 12 days, 8 hours and 2 minutes Whooooo hooooooooooo!! Next thought. I saw a dead raccoon on the way home. I thought to myself, is there raccoon peer pressure? Like the raccoon in the street. What possessed him to cross the street at that moment? Was he thinking, I can beat this. I know I can beat this. That big ass deer with the bright eyes growling up the hill at me can't touch this. (that's how they see cars) I'm goin for it. Raccoon friend, "Don't do it Billy." Raccoon Hater, "Do it. I bet you won't do it. I bet you're scared." Original Raccoon, "I bet I will, I bet I will." RH, "I bet you won't, I bet you won't." OR, "YES I WILL!! *BOOF!* @#@^%&#$%^" *RH walks away shaking head and laughing* "Stupid."
Now THAT'S imagination. Don't hate. I have an inquisitive mind. Its called genius. Get in my mindspace son. And I'm out. *swagger*
6.13.2006
Men Are Psycho or Why Men and Women Can't Be Friends
So you know how I've gone out w/box boy in groups several times. Never alone b/c you know how men are. You go out and then they think its like that and it just becomes so messy. Regardless of the fact you told them several times you got a man. Then they start singin old school songs, "Whatcho man got ta do wit me?" "I got a man." "I'm not tryna hear that see?" "I gotta man." "You gotta what? How long you had that problem?" Ridiculous.
So anyway. He brings that ish to work and now I'm really mad. He calls himself trying to spread rumors that we have something going on b/c he thinks its funny and makes him look good. Needless to say, I will not be going out with him again. I'm not trying to be a part of any work gossip mill. Especially when I'm NOT DOING ANYTHING!! Damn! I'm minding my own business and see what happens? Its so painful to be fly. It really is.
Now why is this an issue? Because I've always had male friends. Lots of them. It happens that way when you're boy crazy way ahead of your time. Plus I have just always had a lot of friends. So I'm used to being able to communicate with males and not have it go anywhere. I'm tired of people trying to come on to me when I've told them I'm not interested!!! Make it stop!! Obviously when you're grown you're not allowed to have male friends anymore because men are psycho!!
So anyway. He brings that ish to work and now I'm really mad. He calls himself trying to spread rumors that we have something going on b/c he thinks its funny and makes him look good. Needless to say, I will not be going out with him again. I'm not trying to be a part of any work gossip mill. Especially when I'm NOT DOING ANYTHING!! Damn! I'm minding my own business and see what happens? Its so painful to be fly. It really is.
Now why is this an issue? Because I've always had male friends. Lots of them. It happens that way when you're boy crazy way ahead of your time. Plus I have just always had a lot of friends. So I'm used to being able to communicate with males and not have it go anywhere. I'm tired of people trying to come on to me when I've told them I'm not interested!!! Make it stop!! Obviously when you're grown you're not allowed to have male friends anymore because men are psycho!!
6.09.2006
Finally Free!!
For the much of the last 6 years I was "in love" with this guy from Hampton. Not in love, in love or anything like that. But I thought he was like the most beautifulest thing in the world!
I guess I should explain some other things first. My mom swears I've been boy crazy since I exited the womb/birth canal. I don't doubt it because as long as I can remember, I've liked boys. I remember having a crush on several guys in kindergarten. I absolutely remember loooooooving my neighbor Nathan. Good ole Nathan. There was a song my cousin re-made for me, "All. she. wants is.. Nathan!" All the time it was Nathan this and Nathan that. I think he was 13 or something. I was in first grade. Hahahaha. CRAZY! And he was white.
His father was racist. He was bullied at work for allowing his family to be friends with the niggers next door. His daughter Adrienne was my best friend. His wife was friends with my mom. Even the dog deserted his bigotry. How sad. So they moved to the country. The next county over was very rural and a different school district. Sufficient to regain his family.
There was also my mom's best friend's son Tony. I now know he's about 10 years older than me, too, maybe even 15. I have no idea. Way too old for me at any rate. He was probably my first crush at around 3. You can see me looking at him adoringly in older pics. Hilarious!! When he had a kid and got married, it broke the spell.
I could seriously go on forever. My favorite times were at Hampton, though. Ahhh good times, good times. (Speaking of good times.... did anyone else know "Newsradio" was on dvd?!! Love that show! Hilarious!!) Anyway. At Hampton, my friends and I had secrets. I had the most because I can be a bit of an overachiever. What's a secret? Well its a secret to him. We also had freshmen. The dudes we would give a chance even though they were young as all get out. So senior year, this guy named "Jamel" was my freshman. Not b/c he has a bangin name, and not because all people w/my name are fly, but because he ran track and had locs. Ooh la la! I was obsessed w/locs. Still think they're gorgeous. Before the bf became the double bf, he was convinced I liked anyone w/locks. Ok no. You can be ugly even if you have great hair. Please don't trip.
I had a secret boyfriend, named Dave. I liked him because he was quiet. I had a secret lover I called SButter b/c he was obsessed w/Shea Butter. He had hats, a license plate, he sold it. It was everywhere. Coincidentally, he also had locks. He was nice, had gorgeous skin and a beeeeyoutiful body! ow! My l.s. called him "that SButter boy." But he did give off an impression of being not quite the brightest bulb in the box. I think I may have had a secret baby daddy, too but I'm not sure.
So I know you're wondering why would you have a "secret loveeeeeeeeeer?" I'll tell you why. Because the guy I was "in love" with for most of 6 years, we'll call him Andrew. Gorgeous. My secret husband. Now he knew I liked him because my so-called friends, many of them, took the liberty of TELLING HIM!! BITCHES!! And appalling. My roommate sophomore year told him. My then drinking partner was feenin for the attention of his buddy. So when I hooked them up, she got tipsy and spilled the beans. Then she was "shocked" when he told him. So I'm like what a loser do I look like when EVERYONE is telling this man stuff?!!
Oh and did I neglect to tell you how we were introduced? My friend Joi was his little sister. She said to me, "I have to go give him this video game back, he's in the car downstairs, wanna go meet him?" Extra crunk, "OMG! Yes!! *insert jumping and squealing* What am I gonna wear?" Her: Wear what you got on and lets go. So I head down there in my tye-dyed shirt w/a red windbreaker jacket over it and sweatpants *cringe* and do you know what she says? "Andrew, this is Jameil, another member of your fan club." They heard me gasp in the next county. He said, "Whatever Joi." and asked for the movie. I slumped back upstairs dejected to lament to Wynel. She empathized. But her turn was to come. She would out me to him a multitude of times over the next 5 years.
Another time. Homecoming or Hampton-Howard game. Some huge game where he would return (he graduated my freshman year). I knew where he sat everytime (all the way at the top, and he never sat, he stood) so I would be able to just look in his direction and know whether or not he was there. He always was. This was the year after the former drankin pahtnah outted me. Matter of fact, come to think of it, it may have been the very next day. Anyway, we walked around the back of the bleachers so I could stare at him without being spotted. But his buddy spotted me, turned around, tapped A, leaned over and POINTED! *GASP!* And what did I do? I ran. Show did. I was like omg, let's go! So we scamper away as I'm cursing and omging all over creation. I decide we'll walk all the way around to minimize any additional embarassment. Then I decide to man up and go back the way I came. I say, "Ok... don't look... WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T LOOK!" She says, "I don't even know where they were sitting." I say, "Ok. Whatever. Just don't look." Of course... she looks. BITCHES!! You know how I found out? Because she goes, "Oh shit, they're looking." Glance up, cringe, grab her arm, quicken the walk. So. Sad.
Same day. A and buddy are up on the stairs in the student center (aka union) and he points at me AGAIN! Only this time I'm only like 15 yards away. Sons of bitches. Needless to say me and buddy were NOT cool after that. Although I gave him a big hug when I saw him at Kenny's funeral. And I did talk to him when I joined myspace. Anyway so why am I free? I'll tell you why I'm free. ANDREW CUT HIS HAIR! Yessssssss!! Because the bf was there the whole time, he wasn't so sure I was over A. And really I thought I was but I didn't know. I mean damn, I've thought I was before and then it was a wrap when I saw him. I was a spaz again.
Ok so those last couple of paragraphs made me look like a loser. I was so cool around everyone but him. I've never been afraid of guys. I would absolutely have no problem talking to the finest guy on campus. For what? I'm fly. But w/him I was such a nerd. So wack. I wouldn't have given me more than a hug and a how are you out of deferrence to his little sisters, either. So I'm finally free! He cut his locs after 6 years and I was shocked. Very shocked. Shocked enough to call Wynel to call him to confirm what I saw on Myspace. She did and I broke into smiles. Because the spell is broken. I'm free to love the bf without that lingering nagging in my ear. YESSSS!
I guess I should explain some other things first. My mom swears I've been boy crazy since I exited the womb/birth canal. I don't doubt it because as long as I can remember, I've liked boys. I remember having a crush on several guys in kindergarten. I absolutely remember loooooooving my neighbor Nathan. Good ole Nathan. There was a song my cousin re-made for me, "All. she. wants is.. Nathan!" All the time it was Nathan this and Nathan that. I think he was 13 or something. I was in first grade. Hahahaha. CRAZY! And he was white.
His father was racist. He was bullied at work for allowing his family to be friends with the niggers next door. His daughter Adrienne was my best friend. His wife was friends with my mom. Even the dog deserted his bigotry. How sad. So they moved to the country. The next county over was very rural and a different school district. Sufficient to regain his family.
There was also my mom's best friend's son Tony. I now know he's about 10 years older than me, too, maybe even 15. I have no idea. Way too old for me at any rate. He was probably my first crush at around 3. You can see me looking at him adoringly in older pics. Hilarious!! When he had a kid and got married, it broke the spell.
I could seriously go on forever. My favorite times were at Hampton, though. Ahhh good times, good times. (Speaking of good times.... did anyone else know "Newsradio" was on dvd?!! Love that show! Hilarious!!) Anyway. At Hampton, my friends and I had secrets. I had the most because I can be a bit of an overachiever. What's a secret? Well its a secret to him. We also had freshmen. The dudes we would give a chance even though they were young as all get out. So senior year, this guy named "Jamel" was my freshman. Not b/c he has a bangin name, and not because all people w/my name are fly, but because he ran track and had locs. Ooh la la! I was obsessed w/locs. Still think they're gorgeous. Before the bf became the double bf, he was convinced I liked anyone w/locks. Ok no. You can be ugly even if you have great hair. Please don't trip.
I had a secret boyfriend, named Dave. I liked him because he was quiet. I had a secret lover I called SButter b/c he was obsessed w/Shea Butter. He had hats, a license plate, he sold it. It was everywhere. Coincidentally, he also had locks. He was nice, had gorgeous skin and a beeeeyoutiful body! ow! My l.s. called him "that SButter boy." But he did give off an impression of being not quite the brightest bulb in the box. I think I may have had a secret baby daddy, too but I'm not sure.
So I know you're wondering why would you have a "secret loveeeeeeeeeer?" I'll tell you why. Because the guy I was "in love" with for most of 6 years, we'll call him Andrew. Gorgeous. My secret husband. Now he knew I liked him because my so-called friends, many of them, took the liberty of TELLING HIM!! BITCHES!! And appalling. My roommate sophomore year told him. My then drinking partner was feenin for the attention of his buddy. So when I hooked them up, she got tipsy and spilled the beans. Then she was "shocked" when he told him. So I'm like what a loser do I look like when EVERYONE is telling this man stuff?!!
Oh and did I neglect to tell you how we were introduced? My friend Joi was his little sister. She said to me, "I have to go give him this video game back, he's in the car downstairs, wanna go meet him?" Extra crunk, "OMG! Yes!! *insert jumping and squealing* What am I gonna wear?" Her: Wear what you got on and lets go. So I head down there in my tye-dyed shirt w/a red windbreaker jacket over it and sweatpants *cringe* and do you know what she says? "Andrew, this is Jameil, another member of your fan club." They heard me gasp in the next county. He said, "Whatever Joi." and asked for the movie. I slumped back upstairs dejected to lament to Wynel. She empathized. But her turn was to come. She would out me to him a multitude of times over the next 5 years.
Another time. Homecoming or Hampton-Howard game. Some huge game where he would return (he graduated my freshman year). I knew where he sat everytime (all the way at the top, and he never sat, he stood) so I would be able to just look in his direction and know whether or not he was there. He always was. This was the year after the former drankin pahtnah outted me. Matter of fact, come to think of it, it may have been the very next day. Anyway, we walked around the back of the bleachers so I could stare at him without being spotted. But his buddy spotted me, turned around, tapped A, leaned over and POINTED! *GASP!* And what did I do? I ran. Show did. I was like omg, let's go! So we scamper away as I'm cursing and omging all over creation. I decide we'll walk all the way around to minimize any additional embarassment. Then I decide to man up and go back the way I came. I say, "Ok... don't look... WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T LOOK!" She says, "I don't even know where they were sitting." I say, "Ok. Whatever. Just don't look." Of course... she looks. BITCHES!! You know how I found out? Because she goes, "Oh shit, they're looking." Glance up, cringe, grab her arm, quicken the walk. So. Sad.
Same day. A and buddy are up on the stairs in the student center (aka union) and he points at me AGAIN! Only this time I'm only like 15 yards away. Sons of bitches. Needless to say me and buddy were NOT cool after that. Although I gave him a big hug when I saw him at Kenny's funeral. And I did talk to him when I joined myspace. Anyway so why am I free? I'll tell you why I'm free. ANDREW CUT HIS HAIR! Yessssssss!! Because the bf was there the whole time, he wasn't so sure I was over A. And really I thought I was but I didn't know. I mean damn, I've thought I was before and then it was a wrap when I saw him. I was a spaz again.
Ok so those last couple of paragraphs made me look like a loser. I was so cool around everyone but him. I've never been afraid of guys. I would absolutely have no problem talking to the finest guy on campus. For what? I'm fly. But w/him I was such a nerd. So wack. I wouldn't have given me more than a hug and a how are you out of deferrence to his little sisters, either. So I'm finally free! He cut his locs after 6 years and I was shocked. Very shocked. Shocked enough to call Wynel to call him to confirm what I saw on Myspace. She did and I broke into smiles. Because the spell is broken. I'm free to love the bf without that lingering nagging in my ear. YESSSS!
6.08.2006
Just onea them days
Chile puh-leaaaaaase! Rescue me from this week. Monica needs to retitle her song. Less than 24 hours from sanity. Geez. Producing again Sunday, this time completely solo. Ahhh yeah. Anyway. Yesterday I looked uber-fly. There's no reason for that. So today I toned it down. Still fly but not devastating. You can't harm people at work. There are sessions for things like that: harassment, violence in the workplace, things like that. I can't really work them into my schedule.
I made D turkey, spinach burgers for lunch. Then I listened to my messages. Guess who's coming to visit? THE BF! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! aren't you excited? I can barely contain my excitement! He's coming for his bday, June 29th. We're going to Kennywood amusement park. I also plan on taking him to Pittsburgh food institutions Eat N Park and Primanti Bros. And I'm also considering a meal atop Mt. Washington. It overlooks the city and its three rivers (I think. help me out dp and urban). What else should we do?
Watching Living Single (as I do daily). The most interesting thing to me right now is behind my eyelids. Holllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Oh yeah, I know I'm waaaaaaaaay overdue for a State of Black America update. I have several posts mentally in the works. Perhaps tomorrow. But I make no guarantees.
Ok here we go (no i don't have ADD). how about i was miss angry yest. when i left work. took me quite a while to calm down. so one of my coworkers who's off this week called yest. and asks how things went. i said, horrible but i don't want to talk about it. she said ugh! that bad! i said yep! thinking that'd be the end of it. no such luck she keeps going. my mom beeped in and it was like the color purple when squeak called miss sophia a heffa. "whatchu say?" " i saaaaaaaaid you ain't nothing but a big ole heffa. heffa, heffa, heffa, hahaha!" "whoop! time to go! *close the piano." that's how i was. when i ain't in the mood, i ain't now! gone! lol. why do people do that?
I made D turkey, spinach burgers for lunch. Then I listened to my messages. Guess who's coming to visit? THE BF! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! aren't you excited? I can barely contain my excitement! He's coming for his bday, June 29th. We're going to Kennywood amusement park. I also plan on taking him to Pittsburgh food institutions Eat N Park and Primanti Bros. And I'm also considering a meal atop Mt. Washington. It overlooks the city and its three rivers (I think. help me out dp and urban). What else should we do?
Watching Living Single (as I do daily). The most interesting thing to me right now is behind my eyelids. Holllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Oh yeah, I know I'm waaaaaaaaay overdue for a State of Black America update. I have several posts mentally in the works. Perhaps tomorrow. But I make no guarantees.
Ok here we go (no i don't have ADD). how about i was miss angry yest. when i left work. took me quite a while to calm down. so one of my coworkers who's off this week called yest. and asks how things went. i said, horrible but i don't want to talk about it. she said ugh! that bad! i said yep! thinking that'd be the end of it. no such luck she keeps going. my mom beeped in and it was like the color purple when squeak called miss sophia a heffa. "whatchu say?" " i saaaaaaaaid you ain't nothing but a big ole heffa. heffa, heffa, heffa, hahaha!" "whoop! time to go! *close the piano." that's how i was. when i ain't in the mood, i ain't now! gone! lol. why do people do that?
6.04.2006
This post brought to you by the letter N
Sounds like an episode of Sesame Street! :) So Aisha T gave me the task of coming up w/ten things starting w/the letter "n." after i saw this post, i decided i can't wait! :)
1... news... ok this one was pretty obvious. i work in news. i love news. i want to revolutionize the news. i want to make docs which is just extended news on one subject. i love research and to learn which can make just about anything infinitely better. too bad knowledge doesn't start w/n. also i produced my first show today. very excited. next sunday i get to produce solo. today i just had someone there as my trainer. but i had control of the reigns. it was cool.
2... n is a black fiction book. it was nearly impossible to find it on amazon.com so you'll just have to take my word for it that it's pretty good.
3... nigga. you already know my thoughts on this word. conflicted but leaning closer to annoyed.
4... necrophilia. pretty nasty. sex w/dead people. gnarls barkley's cd has a song called "necromancer"... about necrophilia. the beat is kind of hot. i'm sure its supposed to be some sort of metaphor for something but i'm never very good at looking beyond the literal. that's why i couldn't be an english major. it was always like, can't i just like this? do i have to overanalyze it? so yeah... i don't know what your boy's talkin about but its making me quite wary.
5... n style. i hate when things are misspelled intentionally. one of my pet peeves: donuts. hate that faux word. that's why children can't spell today. nite. that and spell check. lol. but "in style" is one of my fave magazines.
6... natural/nappy. now this word is kind of strange to me as its always been used as a negative. but its not negative to me anymore. yeah i have nappy hair. so what? nappy is relative. hyper curled is another word. people always marvel my natural hair is soft... umm... does that mean "non-brillo pad-like?" one of the crew started a new blog about her natural hair journey that makes me want to talk about mine.
7... niagara falls... never been but its w/in 5 hrs of pittsburgh so i'm mentally planning a trip. i heard its gorgeous if a tad overpriced. never been to canada. "blame canada!"
8...new orleans... on my mind all the time. its like i'm obsessed. maybe its because i have family there who may never return or maybe its b/c my fave roomie is from there and much of her family will never return. maybe its b/c another one of my friends is from new orleans and she seems so dejected at the state of her city sometimes. maybe its because it looks the same in some areas as it did on august 30, 2005, the day after katrina suck. maybe its because for most, new orleans is the poster child for the destruction still evident in many coastal cities along the gulf from florida to texas. maybe because the 2006 atlantic hurricane season officially started thursday and no one's ready. don't believe the lies. there's a war to pay for.
9...napkins... ok this is soooo random. *to the tune of "nann" by trick daddy and trina.* "you ain't got no napkins (uh uh), not nowhere in this house, not even on the couch, i need to wipe my baby's mouth, you ain't got no napkins." you know those parodies? my fave radio station at home, power 98 has a dj "mr. incognito." "its incog.. NITO. its the i-n-c-o...g-n-i...t-o." see? been a fan forever. anyway so he does these parodies. he did that when this song was popular at least 8 years ago and it cracked me and my friends up. i don't think i'll ever get it out of my head. hahahahaha.
10...nonsense... hate it. stupid people exhaust me.
1... news... ok this one was pretty obvious. i work in news. i love news. i want to revolutionize the news. i want to make docs which is just extended news on one subject. i love research and to learn which can make just about anything infinitely better. too bad knowledge doesn't start w/n. also i produced my first show today. very excited. next sunday i get to produce solo. today i just had someone there as my trainer. but i had control of the reigns. it was cool.
2... n is a black fiction book. it was nearly impossible to find it on amazon.com so you'll just have to take my word for it that it's pretty good.
3... nigga. you already know my thoughts on this word. conflicted but leaning closer to annoyed.
4... necrophilia. pretty nasty. sex w/dead people. gnarls barkley's cd has a song called "necromancer"... about necrophilia. the beat is kind of hot. i'm sure its supposed to be some sort of metaphor for something but i'm never very good at looking beyond the literal. that's why i couldn't be an english major. it was always like, can't i just like this? do i have to overanalyze it? so yeah... i don't know what your boy's talkin about but its making me quite wary.
5... n style. i hate when things are misspelled intentionally. one of my pet peeves: donuts. hate that faux word. that's why children can't spell today. nite. that and spell check. lol. but "in style" is one of my fave magazines.
6... natural/nappy. now this word is kind of strange to me as its always been used as a negative. but its not negative to me anymore. yeah i have nappy hair. so what? nappy is relative. hyper curled is another word. people always marvel my natural hair is soft... umm... does that mean "non-brillo pad-like?" one of the crew started a new blog about her natural hair journey that makes me want to talk about mine.
7... niagara falls... never been but its w/in 5 hrs of pittsburgh so i'm mentally planning a trip. i heard its gorgeous if a tad overpriced. never been to canada. "blame canada!"
8...new orleans... on my mind all the time. its like i'm obsessed. maybe its because i have family there who may never return or maybe its b/c my fave roomie is from there and much of her family will never return. maybe its b/c another one of my friends is from new orleans and she seems so dejected at the state of her city sometimes. maybe its because it looks the same in some areas as it did on august 30, 2005, the day after katrina suck. maybe its because for most, new orleans is the poster child for the destruction still evident in many coastal cities along the gulf from florida to texas. maybe because the 2006 atlantic hurricane season officially started thursday and no one's ready. don't believe the lies. there's a war to pay for.
9...napkins... ok this is soooo random. *to the tune of "nann" by trick daddy and trina.* "you ain't got no napkins (uh uh), not nowhere in this house, not even on the couch, i need to wipe my baby's mouth, you ain't got no napkins." you know those parodies? my fave radio station at home, power 98 has a dj "mr. incognito." "its incog.. NITO. its the i-n-c-o...g-n-i...t-o." see? been a fan forever. anyway so he does these parodies. he did that when this song was popular at least 8 years ago and it cracked me and my friends up. i don't think i'll ever get it out of my head. hahahahaha.
10...nonsense... hate it. stupid people exhaust me.
6.01.2006
Cuz I'm Keepin it Real, Cuz I'm Keepin it Real. That's Why.
Ok so in honor of my 93 post, 93 things about me, Miss A style!! I will also be fulfilling the questions from So Wise's post.
1) the title is a line from one of my fave movies. name that movie and i'll give you an internet dollar! need more? "and i'd like to thank mcdonalds for those little egg mcmuffins without which i might never be tardy." "my book is fit or fat. mine is men are from mars, women are from veeeenus." "you're a virgin who can't drive." "rollin w/the homies."
2) i haven't seen a lot of movies.
3) why? because my mom didn't believe in letting us see r-rated or pg-13 movies for a very long time.
4) but i think that's part of the reason i'm not scared of movies.
5) i'm also hugely critical of movies. like they need not have a cinematographic (that could be a new word) error, plot problems, that little indescrepancy that shows you taped the same scene multiple times and spliced it.
6) brown sugar is one of my faves. its on tv right now and i'm watching it like i haven't already seen it like 6 times in 06. its true, i watch it about once a month, or when i get bored. "so whatchu gonna use your massager for? high speed low." "ketel one martini up with a twist." "the perfect verse over a tight beat." "we're gonna celebrate what? my divorce." "moo goo gai pan, from the best chinese restaurant in the land. whaaaaaaaat?"
7) i went thru one phase where i watched it like once a week.
8) i want to be a field producer for the today show so i can go on lots of trips.
9) i love spike lee.
10) i want to make documentary films about the lives of black folk.
11) i want to become international grand basileus of my sorority one day.
12) i have these amazing delusions of grandeur (not the actual psychosis that leads to irrational behavior). i think i can achieve anything.
13) that's from my parents. they always told me i could and i believed them.
14) i love cheese! yess!! all kinds. swiss, munster, monterrey jack, pepper jack, cheddar.
15) but i hate kraft singles. a lot. nastiness.
16) i think cigarettes are disgusting.
17) when i was in college i would date a weed smoker before a cigarette smoker.
18) i'm addicted to reading the ap wires.
19) if i could read them when i wasn't at work i would.
20) 112's been my fave musical group for like ever.
21) i like r&b better than rap.
22) due in part to the protectiveness of my mother and the lack of relationship w/my older half-siblings. wasn't really exposed to rap.
23) but i'm still fiercely protective of it.
24) i get pissed when i read folks blogs and comment and they never come visit mine.
25) i have stopped reading people who's blogs i enjoyed for this reason.
26) what? you didn't know i was a brat? oh yeah. a big one.
27) i have not had a perm in more than 3 years.
28) but it took me 3 months after that to get the guts to cut the permed part off.
29) when i did it i felt free.
30) then i gulped and got scared no man would ever talk to me again.
31) i wasn't even out the shop parking lot before someone tried to holla.
32) i see people w/locs and really really want them.
33) but then i think of the commitment/the fact you can never go back and reel myself back in.
34) sometimes i really hate spoken word b/c of its contrived nature. stop trying so hard.
35) racist or not, 9xs outta 10 i think white people shouldn't do it.
36) i mean call me crazy but its an expression of your experiences almost like a rap. i guess i should explain this..
37) white people have a history of infiltrating black art forms, stealing them, and claiming them for their own.
38) to the point where they are more successful than the original artist(s). that pisses me off.
39) i grew up in the suburbs in a predominately white neighborhood.
40) everyone i've known since kindergarten or first grade outside my family is white.
41) that includes one of the people i still consider one of my best friends, silas, who's a white male.
42) i would want to kick my daughter's ass if she thought she wanted to be a video hoe.
43) i think its amazing when they manage to parlay a career out of stick their finger in their mouth, giving a come hither look, twisting to the side, tilting their head and sticking out their largest physical asset.
44) i've always had a lot of male friends.
45) but not b/c i couldn't get along w/girls.
46) b/c when i was little (my mom says since birth) i've always liked boys and usually they didn't like me back.
47) didn't have my first kiss until i was 17.
48) that's about the time i started growing into my face and self. hahahaha that makes me sound like a mud duck. but i just improve w/age. by the time i'm 40 i'll have to lock myself in the house.
49) i love saying outrageously conceited things. it makes me laugh.
50) this is way easier than i thought. when i saw bet's mission statement, i couldn't get it out of my head that i need to be the one to get them there.
51) wise question: If you could be doing what you really want to be doing for a living, what would it be? it changes almost daily. partly b/c conceited as it sounds, i'm pretty good at a lot of things. so i want to do what i'm good at and also makes me happy.
52) ooooh! i know! stylist for people who need to be on tv. or a media consultant. i see politicians w/good platforms who will never make it b/c they have no charisma and don't know how to really interact with the media.
53) sometimes i just know things and i don't know why. it makes people forget i'm only 23.
54) i was in a book club when i was in charlotte. i was more upset about leaving them than leaving my mother. mostly b/c i knew i could never come back to that. everyone was moving away.
55) i was the youngest person in the group by 20-40 years.
56) it was one of the most enlightening and fun parts of my book club. that and the fact we had white people. and eached picked a book, forcing each other to reach outside our reading comfort zones.
57) i'm OBSESSED w/books. until i went to college, there was never a single night where i went to sleep without reading.
58) i LOVE hampton. my wedding party would be incomplete w/o the closest people in my HU crew.
59) i love the bf. you already knew that. but i told him the other day i would be inconsolable if he married someone else. and he said he would be sad if i married someone else, too. and i thought it was like the cutest thing in the world.
60) wise question: If you could slap the shit out of any famous person, alive or dead, who would it be? hmmm... you know what? i don't really care about famous people. but if i have to pick one, i'd pick the majority of the lawmakers in PA. they're so out of touch w/their constituents. what? that's all politicians? oh... well in that case... all of them.
61) malcolm x is my favorite dead guy. now THAT is charisma.
62) wise question: What's the dumbest decision you've made in the past 5 years? that's hard for me to answer b/c i feel like everything i went through, it happened for a reason. i learn from my experiences.
63) wise question (wq): Give up one for a year: (good) sex or (good) music. easy. sex. i've come up w/a harder question thruout life. give up your hearing or eyesight. i can't ever figure this one out. i don't know what i'd do w/o hearing voices and inflection, music, etc. and i certainly can't imagine not being able to read. books on tape is not the same. and no one reads as fast outloud as i can read it on the page.
64) one time i said to myself, who needs real friends when you have internet friends. then i said wow... what a loser. hahahaha.
65) i could hear about katrina every day for the rest of my life and never get tired of it.
66) wq: What's your biggest insecurity? never being successful and the akeelah and the bee quote, that i'm powerful beyond measure. i go between the two.
67) i'm hugely ambitious. when i say i want to take over/rule the world, i'm only half joking.
68) wq: What's the first blog you read every day...or however often you read them? depends. i know miss a posts mon and thurs so on those days, her. i also read dp early and often b/c he does like 8 posts a day. stace. ashli. b/c they're from my hu crew and i got them blogging and their blogs crack me up and remind me of my college days. if karamale posted more often, it would be him.
69) wq: Which blogger would you most like to cuddle with on the beach? (and don't defer to your current signif other either. Infidelity won't count against you. Duh.) ok this was dp's answer, "GTFOHWTBS no way Im gonna answer that..." LMAO!!! i know that's right. esp. since there's a good possibility i'll see many bloggers at nabj this year. men don't know how to take those kinds of compliments w/o trying to get at you.
70) i have great handwriting. its true. people see it and always make comments. i write so little these days i forget how it effects people. i want to get it made into a font.
71) wq: Which was better, your first kiss or your first pay check? first kiss. even tho it was on a bus w/an audience. no matter how dark, when people saw us sittin together, they were already tryin to be in the bizness. hahaha. but my first check was nothing.
72) i'm only at my 2nd job ever.
73) my first was at express the summer after my soph. yr. at hampton.
74) wq: Do you have kids? Want kids? TOO selfish to have kids right now. i do want them, tho b/c i think kids are cute. besides you can't take this flyness to the grave, it would be wrong! lol
75) but i also want to adopt. i don't know why, but i have a soft spot for adoption.
76) wq: Live the rest of your life without your eyebrows or your fingernails? you're kinda crazy homey. did you come up w/these? lol. definitely w/o brows.
77) but that's mostly b/c i have great nails. they've been one of my fave body parts for a long time. how crazy is that? but people have always loved my nails.
78) love, love LOVE duke bball!!!
79) stupid people make me want to jump off the hot metal bridge, drag myself to shore, then jump off the smithfield bridge. i hate it.
80) i want twins. (sorry back to the kids). i used to be obsessed w/twins. i used to check books out from the library about them.
81) on my trip to europe, i visited auschwitz. it made me want to learn more about black people's struggle.
82) i had a drinking partner at hampton. that's how serious it was. lol.
83) i have a list of at least 15 potential posts. some of them have been on the list a long time b/c they are too long to write. some stay there b/c they tire me out.
84) i love orange juice. a lot. i could drink it every single day.
85) cranberry juice is a close 2nd.
86) i was gonna say i love rachael ray and isaac mizrahi but if you don't know that, you've never read this blog. so i'll say... i love sanaa lathan movies.
87) instyle magazine is one my faves. it could come out biweekly (twice a week) and i would still read every issue.
88) i watch foxnews sometimes b/c i have to know what those wiley republicans are talkin about today. and sometimes i learn something interesting.
89) i hate being tagged on here. b/c i like to post what i wanna post. but if its something interesting and i'm not being forced or you shout me out properly, i might do it. (egomaniac)
90) the war in iraq makes me inordinately sad b/c so many people die daily, not just soldiers, but civilians. my sister's prom date is over there in the desert somewhere and i want him to come back in one piece.
91) i have a friend who won't eat any food not classified as solid or liquid and that CRACKS ME UP!!
92) i've always hated tattoos but now i'm thinking about getting one b/c i don't do enough young and dumb stuff.
93) what should i get and where? here are the criteria. i want something that means something. can't be anything stereotypical/hoodish i.e. hearts, stars, animals, paw prints, flowers, cartoons, words, anything in a language i don't speak/read. and can't be anything you could see if i wore a strapless/backless dress. can't be on my arm, calf, foot, thigh, wrist, (obviously) neck. help! go.
1) the title is a line from one of my fave movies. name that movie and i'll give you an internet dollar! need more? "and i'd like to thank mcdonalds for those little egg mcmuffins without which i might never be tardy." "my book is fit or fat. mine is men are from mars, women are from veeeenus." "you're a virgin who can't drive." "rollin w/the homies."
2) i haven't seen a lot of movies.
3) why? because my mom didn't believe in letting us see r-rated or pg-13 movies for a very long time.
4) but i think that's part of the reason i'm not scared of movies.
5) i'm also hugely critical of movies. like they need not have a cinematographic (that could be a new word) error, plot problems, that little indescrepancy that shows you taped the same scene multiple times and spliced it.
6) brown sugar is one of my faves. its on tv right now and i'm watching it like i haven't already seen it like 6 times in 06. its true, i watch it about once a month, or when i get bored. "so whatchu gonna use your massager for? high speed low." "ketel one martini up with a twist." "the perfect verse over a tight beat." "we're gonna celebrate what? my divorce." "moo goo gai pan, from the best chinese restaurant in the land. whaaaaaaaat?"
7) i went thru one phase where i watched it like once a week.
8) i want to be a field producer for the today show so i can go on lots of trips.
9) i love spike lee.
10) i want to make documentary films about the lives of black folk.
11) i want to become international grand basileus of my sorority one day.
12) i have these amazing delusions of grandeur (not the actual psychosis that leads to irrational behavior). i think i can achieve anything.
13) that's from my parents. they always told me i could and i believed them.
14) i love cheese! yess!! all kinds. swiss, munster, monterrey jack, pepper jack, cheddar.
15) but i hate kraft singles. a lot. nastiness.
16) i think cigarettes are disgusting.
17) when i was in college i would date a weed smoker before a cigarette smoker.
18) i'm addicted to reading the ap wires.
19) if i could read them when i wasn't at work i would.
20) 112's been my fave musical group for like ever.
21) i like r&b better than rap.
22) due in part to the protectiveness of my mother and the lack of relationship w/my older half-siblings. wasn't really exposed to rap.
23) but i'm still fiercely protective of it.
24) i get pissed when i read folks blogs and comment and they never come visit mine.
25) i have stopped reading people who's blogs i enjoyed for this reason.
26) what? you didn't know i was a brat? oh yeah. a big one.
27) i have not had a perm in more than 3 years.
28) but it took me 3 months after that to get the guts to cut the permed part off.
29) when i did it i felt free.
30) then i gulped and got scared no man would ever talk to me again.
31) i wasn't even out the shop parking lot before someone tried to holla.
32) i see people w/locs and really really want them.
33) but then i think of the commitment/the fact you can never go back and reel myself back in.
34) sometimes i really hate spoken word b/c of its contrived nature. stop trying so hard.
35) racist or not, 9xs outta 10 i think white people shouldn't do it.
36) i mean call me crazy but its an expression of your experiences almost like a rap. i guess i should explain this..
37) white people have a history of infiltrating black art forms, stealing them, and claiming them for their own.
38) to the point where they are more successful than the original artist(s). that pisses me off.
39) i grew up in the suburbs in a predominately white neighborhood.
40) everyone i've known since kindergarten or first grade outside my family is white.
41) that includes one of the people i still consider one of my best friends, silas, who's a white male.
42) i would want to kick my daughter's ass if she thought she wanted to be a video hoe.
43) i think its amazing when they manage to parlay a career out of stick their finger in their mouth, giving a come hither look, twisting to the side, tilting their head and sticking out their largest physical asset.
44) i've always had a lot of male friends.
45) but not b/c i couldn't get along w/girls.
46) b/c when i was little (my mom says since birth) i've always liked boys and usually they didn't like me back.
47) didn't have my first kiss until i was 17.
48) that's about the time i started growing into my face and self. hahahaha that makes me sound like a mud duck. but i just improve w/age. by the time i'm 40 i'll have to lock myself in the house.
49) i love saying outrageously conceited things. it makes me laugh.
50) this is way easier than i thought. when i saw bet's mission statement, i couldn't get it out of my head that i need to be the one to get them there.
51) wise question: If you could be doing what you really want to be doing for a living, what would it be? it changes almost daily. partly b/c conceited as it sounds, i'm pretty good at a lot of things. so i want to do what i'm good at and also makes me happy.
52) ooooh! i know! stylist for people who need to be on tv. or a media consultant. i see politicians w/good platforms who will never make it b/c they have no charisma and don't know how to really interact with the media.
53) sometimes i just know things and i don't know why. it makes people forget i'm only 23.
54) i was in a book club when i was in charlotte. i was more upset about leaving them than leaving my mother. mostly b/c i knew i could never come back to that. everyone was moving away.
55) i was the youngest person in the group by 20-40 years.
56) it was one of the most enlightening and fun parts of my book club. that and the fact we had white people. and eached picked a book, forcing each other to reach outside our reading comfort zones.
57) i'm OBSESSED w/books. until i went to college, there was never a single night where i went to sleep without reading.
58) i LOVE hampton. my wedding party would be incomplete w/o the closest people in my HU crew.
59) i love the bf. you already knew that. but i told him the other day i would be inconsolable if he married someone else. and he said he would be sad if i married someone else, too. and i thought it was like the cutest thing in the world.
60) wise question: If you could slap the shit out of any famous person, alive or dead, who would it be? hmmm... you know what? i don't really care about famous people. but if i have to pick one, i'd pick the majority of the lawmakers in PA. they're so out of touch w/their constituents. what? that's all politicians? oh... well in that case... all of them.
61) malcolm x is my favorite dead guy. now THAT is charisma.
62) wise question: What's the dumbest decision you've made in the past 5 years? that's hard for me to answer b/c i feel like everything i went through, it happened for a reason. i learn from my experiences.
63) wise question (wq): Give up one for a year: (good) sex or (good) music. easy. sex. i've come up w/a harder question thruout life. give up your hearing or eyesight. i can't ever figure this one out. i don't know what i'd do w/o hearing voices and inflection, music, etc. and i certainly can't imagine not being able to read. books on tape is not the same. and no one reads as fast outloud as i can read it on the page.
64) one time i said to myself, who needs real friends when you have internet friends. then i said wow... what a loser. hahahaha.
65) i could hear about katrina every day for the rest of my life and never get tired of it.
66) wq: What's your biggest insecurity? never being successful and the akeelah and the bee quote, that i'm powerful beyond measure. i go between the two.
67) i'm hugely ambitious. when i say i want to take over/rule the world, i'm only half joking.
68) wq: What's the first blog you read every day...or however often you read them? depends. i know miss a posts mon and thurs so on those days, her. i also read dp early and often b/c he does like 8 posts a day. stace. ashli. b/c they're from my hu crew and i got them blogging and their blogs crack me up and remind me of my college days. if karamale posted more often, it would be him.
69) wq: Which blogger would you most like to cuddle with on the beach? (and don't defer to your current signif other either. Infidelity won't count against you. Duh.) ok this was dp's answer, "GTFOHWTBS no way Im gonna answer that..." LMAO!!! i know that's right. esp. since there's a good possibility i'll see many bloggers at nabj this year. men don't know how to take those kinds of compliments w/o trying to get at you.
70) i have great handwriting. its true. people see it and always make comments. i write so little these days i forget how it effects people. i want to get it made into a font.
71) wq: Which was better, your first kiss or your first pay check? first kiss. even tho it was on a bus w/an audience. no matter how dark, when people saw us sittin together, they were already tryin to be in the bizness. hahaha. but my first check was nothing.
72) i'm only at my 2nd job ever.
73) my first was at express the summer after my soph. yr. at hampton.
74) wq: Do you have kids? Want kids? TOO selfish to have kids right now. i do want them, tho b/c i think kids are cute. besides you can't take this flyness to the grave, it would be wrong! lol
75) but i also want to adopt. i don't know why, but i have a soft spot for adoption.
76) wq: Live the rest of your life without your eyebrows or your fingernails? you're kinda crazy homey. did you come up w/these? lol. definitely w/o brows.
77) but that's mostly b/c i have great nails. they've been one of my fave body parts for a long time. how crazy is that? but people have always loved my nails.
78) love, love LOVE duke bball!!!
79) stupid people make me want to jump off the hot metal bridge, drag myself to shore, then jump off the smithfield bridge. i hate it.
80) i want twins. (sorry back to the kids). i used to be obsessed w/twins. i used to check books out from the library about them.
81) on my trip to europe, i visited auschwitz. it made me want to learn more about black people's struggle.
82) i had a drinking partner at hampton. that's how serious it was. lol.
83) i have a list of at least 15 potential posts. some of them have been on the list a long time b/c they are too long to write. some stay there b/c they tire me out.
84) i love orange juice. a lot. i could drink it every single day.
85) cranberry juice is a close 2nd.
86) i was gonna say i love rachael ray and isaac mizrahi but if you don't know that, you've never read this blog. so i'll say... i love sanaa lathan movies.
87) instyle magazine is one my faves. it could come out biweekly (twice a week) and i would still read every issue.
88) i watch foxnews sometimes b/c i have to know what those wiley republicans are talkin about today. and sometimes i learn something interesting.
89) i hate being tagged on here. b/c i like to post what i wanna post. but if its something interesting and i'm not being forced or you shout me out properly, i might do it. (egomaniac)
90) the war in iraq makes me inordinately sad b/c so many people die daily, not just soldiers, but civilians. my sister's prom date is over there in the desert somewhere and i want him to come back in one piece.
91) i have a friend who won't eat any food not classified as solid or liquid and that CRACKS ME UP!!
92) i've always hated tattoos but now i'm thinking about getting one b/c i don't do enough young and dumb stuff.
93) what should i get and where? here are the criteria. i want something that means something. can't be anything stereotypical/hoodish i.e. hearts, stars, animals, paw prints, flowers, cartoons, words, anything in a language i don't speak/read. and can't be anything you could see if i wore a strapless/backless dress. can't be on my arm, calf, foot, thigh, wrist, (obviously) neck. help! go.
5.27.2006
jetsetting thru my mindspace *updated!*
ok first apparently i should explain the new name. stace was frightened. almost thought she was at the wrong place. so i'm at post 92. around 50 or so i realized i didn't particularly like the title of my blog anymore. don't know how long mindspace will stay either. but here it is for now. i think its accurate. blogging is a way for people to jetset thru my mindspace. if you read my blog, you have a pretty good idea of the basis of who i am. how you imagine me via regularly reading is likely accurate, right ashli and stace?
So as we speak (or as i write, http://www.wiseman7886.blogspot.com/ is in cagli, italy)! get it! and karamale, currently of bogota, colombia is always talking about jetsetting. *speaking of bogota, guess what! i wrote about bog at work the other day (i think it was flooding or something) and i thought of you! i was so excited! also when shakira was talking about shakin it like we do in barranquilla (ooh la la! you'll be proud to know i spelled it correctly w/o looking and only looked to ensure accuracy *wink*) or whatever she said i fell out thinkin about that post!! hahahahaha* so i became inspired to write about my own international travels. like to here it? here it go.
my senior year in high school, spring 2000, via the marching band, i got the opportunity to go to europe for 3 1/2 weeks on a music tour w/american music abroad playing the french horn. now, it was supposed to be for people particularly proficient in their instrument. however, i can't really say i was that anymore. at one point i was. but then junior year i became drum major. marching really makes you a better instrumentalist b/c you have to concentrate so much. anyway, becoming drum major meant i was only playing an instrument for half the year. clearly that's not enough to continue to improve.
didn't really matter to me because i knew i wasn't willing to make the time commitment for band (i been searchin, oh ohhhhhhhhhhh, for so loooooooong, nobody like the force, nowhere to be found. makes me wonder what i'd doooo, if i ever was as sorry as youuuuuuuuuuu!). ok i was originally looking for a link to the force but look what i found! the go-go band mumbosauce is featured on wikipedia! that's hot! it was est. at hampton. never a big fan of go-go until sr. year mr. sgrho was a member of mumbosauce. so i went to one of their concerts. they go-goed (new verb, use it) some dirty south songs, most notable some lil john. i was DONE. enjoyed it mucho.
i'm really sidetrack bob-in it right now (daaaaaaaang! two new verbs for you in one day). i can't focus. too much goin on. well, this was supposed to be about my trip to europe but i guess i'll have to leave you hangin a la davey wayne. i'm listening to wpgc (in dc) on aol radio and i LOVE IT!! see? this is part of the reason i want to move to "the urea" eww! if that looks nasty. not urea as in urine. the urrrrrrrea. (you gotta put some feelin behind it).
anyway. about to go to simme's, a soul food restaurant here. well, we'll see. that's what it bills itself as. as a southerner, i'll go be the judge of that. we shall see. oh yeah!! guess what guys? i didn't like my phone until i opened my latest issue of instyle magazine and saw it on pg 167!! that's the 2nd time i've seen something i already owned in that mag and was so crunk!! the first time i shared the info w/my book club. i think they were like ok... you definitely are as young as we often forget you are! lol. anyway. headed to simme's w/the head of engineering for lunch. we'll see how the grub is. i'll holla!
**update**
ok... so... went to simme's. it was alright. i had chicken and waffles w/lemonade. the lemonade was a no go. definitely from powder or something ridiculous like that. get that outta here!! i'm straaaaaaaaight. never had chicken and waffles before. it was pretty good tho the chicken was fried a little hard for my taste. my biggest beef: piss poor directions!! the kid was angry. its a maximum of 15 mins from my house right? how bout it took an HOUR to find it. no. never again. don't look for me round here. took some lil hood girls hangin out on the corner to finally get me there. even the people FROM THE RESTAURANT couldn't give me proper directions. hell. to. the. naw.
watchin real weddings from the knot, i think. chile. this need to be called bridezilla. this girl is cursing her parents out on her wedding day. she told her dad she would walk down the aisle by herself. told him to get the f*** out of the bridal suite... and he did it. and she walked down alone. then barked orders during the picture taking and they did whatever she wanted w/o question ... whoa. somebody needs a whoopin.
So as we speak (or as i write, http://www.wiseman7886.blogspot.com/ is in cagli, italy)! get it! and karamale, currently of bogota, colombia is always talking about jetsetting. *speaking of bogota, guess what! i wrote about bog at work the other day (i think it was flooding or something) and i thought of you! i was so excited! also when shakira was talking about shakin it like we do in barranquilla (ooh la la! you'll be proud to know i spelled it correctly w/o looking and only looked to ensure accuracy *wink*) or whatever she said i fell out thinkin about that post!! hahahahaha* so i became inspired to write about my own international travels. like to here it? here it go.
my senior year in high school, spring 2000, via the marching band, i got the opportunity to go to europe for 3 1/2 weeks on a music tour w/american music abroad playing the french horn. now, it was supposed to be for people particularly proficient in their instrument. however, i can't really say i was that anymore. at one point i was. but then junior year i became drum major. marching really makes you a better instrumentalist b/c you have to concentrate so much. anyway, becoming drum major meant i was only playing an instrument for half the year. clearly that's not enough to continue to improve.
didn't really matter to me because i knew i wasn't willing to make the time commitment for band (i been searchin, oh ohhhhhhhhhhh, for so loooooooong, nobody like the force, nowhere to be found. makes me wonder what i'd doooo, if i ever was as sorry as youuuuuuuuuuu!). ok i was originally looking for a link to the force but look what i found! the go-go band mumbosauce is featured on wikipedia! that's hot! it was est. at hampton. never a big fan of go-go until sr. year mr. sgrho was a member of mumbosauce. so i went to one of their concerts. they go-goed (new verb, use it) some dirty south songs, most notable some lil john. i was DONE. enjoyed it mucho.
i'm really sidetrack bob-in it right now (daaaaaaaang! two new verbs for you in one day). i can't focus. too much goin on. well, this was supposed to be about my trip to europe but i guess i'll have to leave you hangin a la davey wayne. i'm listening to wpgc (in dc) on aol radio and i LOVE IT!! see? this is part of the reason i want to move to "the urea" eww! if that looks nasty. not urea as in urine. the urrrrrrrea. (you gotta put some feelin behind it).
anyway. about to go to simme's, a soul food restaurant here. well, we'll see. that's what it bills itself as. as a southerner, i'll go be the judge of that. we shall see. oh yeah!! guess what guys? i didn't like my phone until i opened my latest issue of instyle magazine and saw it on pg 167!! that's the 2nd time i've seen something i already owned in that mag and was so crunk!! the first time i shared the info w/my book club. i think they were like ok... you definitely are as young as we often forget you are! lol. anyway. headed to simme's w/the head of engineering for lunch. we'll see how the grub is. i'll holla!
**update**
ok... so... went to simme's. it was alright. i had chicken and waffles w/lemonade. the lemonade was a no go. definitely from powder or something ridiculous like that. get that outta here!! i'm straaaaaaaaight. never had chicken and waffles before. it was pretty good tho the chicken was fried a little hard for my taste. my biggest beef: piss poor directions!! the kid was angry. its a maximum of 15 mins from my house right? how bout it took an HOUR to find it. no. never again. don't look for me round here. took some lil hood girls hangin out on the corner to finally get me there. even the people FROM THE RESTAURANT couldn't give me proper directions. hell. to. the. naw.
watchin real weddings from the knot, i think. chile. this need to be called bridezilla. this girl is cursing her parents out on her wedding day. she told her dad she would walk down the aisle by herself. told him to get the f*** out of the bridal suite... and he did it. and she walked down alone. then barked orders during the picture taking and they did whatever she wanted w/o question ... whoa. somebody needs a whoopin.
5.22.2006
Bidding Adieu
I've never been good with good-byes. Actually I guess I should say I'm horrible with good-byes. That would be far more accurate. I don't mean good-byes like death. I'm actually quite good with those. I attribute that to the fact that I was exposed to death at such an early age. When I was 6, my sister's best friend Cara got hit by a car. She was supposed to wait in the car for her father. But she chased after him instead. She was four years old.
When I was 6, my uncle died. He had had a kidney transplant about 10 years earlier. In those days, that was an extraordinarily long time to live with a transplanted organ. He used to call me "James-Ellen" because he said I looked exactly like both of my parents. I hated it then, but when he died, I was sad because he wouldn't be there to call me that anymore. That was October 1988. December 24, 1989, his mother, my grandmother died. I still have the last Christmas gift she gave me. It was a yellow sweater I loved. Now one of my bears at my mom's house wears it. I actually got the gift the night she died. She'd had one of my aunts take her to pick out gifts for her 20+ grandchildren. September the next year, days after his birthday, my grandfather followed his wife of 50 years in death. August of the same year, my softball coach was driving a tractor trailer back home from a long haul. He fell asleep from the wheel five miles from his home and was killed.
After that it was a while before someone I felt a strong attachment to died. I went to a lot of funerals. I even went to funerals of a guy I didn't know to support a friend. I cherished being able to say good-bye. I had to watch the casket lowered to the ground. If they would've let me, for every funeral I would've watched them completely cover it with dirt. When my parents die, it will be my request. Wait, nevermind, both of them insist on being cremated. I talk about death a lot. It scares everyone around me. Its not like I'm suicidal. I'm controlling. So I want things to be the way I want them, even in death. I have threatened to haunt people. Hahaha. But I was serious. If it was possible and they purposely ignored my wishes, I would do it.
My organs must be donated. Obviously. Organ donation saved my uncle for 10 years. And the organ of a relative just saved my cousin's life as well. Another uncle on the other side has had his donated kidney for about 4 years. You can't take them with you. Well, you can, but they'll do you no good. You can give life to someone else. That's amazing. Part of you can live on for years. And if that person has a baby, just think, you've helped bring another life into this world. Okay this is one of my (once) private obsessions. I could go on for quite a while. But I'm probably scaring you, so I'll get to the point. I'll blog about Kenny's death another time.
I'm going to have to say good-bye to Pittsburgh at some point. As much as I hate to admit it, the city is growing on me a little. (I don't want to hear it dp or duck). But I'd actually like to visit more than I'd like to live here. Which is very strange. I actually also like showing people around the city. As much as I can with these crazy streets that end and pick up and curve and wind and go down hills and have no street signs and turn into the blue belt or yellow or purple or orange and go over a bridge or 20 into Homestead, the South Side, Wilkinsburg, the Hill, McKeesport, Mount Lebanon, Moon, Cranberry, Ross Township, and on the parkway north, east or west (no south), also known as 376, 279, 22-30, or Rt. 60. But that's how I feel about Atlanta, too. I love to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. But I'm used to my life and I really hate starting over. But alas, I must. So if you want to offer me a job in my field, in a major city with upwardly mobile Black people.... I'll take it! (Be reasonable folks).
The tangents!! I was also supposed to be adding something in here about saying good-bye at Hampton and when I graduated from high school, but this post took over itself. So alas, you will have to wait.
********LIGHTBULB. I just realized why this post came to me today. I couldn't figure it out. And it was kind of disturbing. Katherine Dunham died yesterday. If you don't know who she is, let me help you. She was the woman credited with bringing African and Carribean dances to the mainstream. She began the first black modern dance troupe. It traveled to 57 countries on 6 continents. Ms. Dunham, an American icon, was 96 years old. I love dance. This sista even had a style of dance named after her. FIERCE. I wish I'd had more formal training. But you wait. When I get a little more money, I will dance again!!!! May the spirit of Katherine Dunham forever reign in the world of modern dance.
When I was 6, my uncle died. He had had a kidney transplant about 10 years earlier. In those days, that was an extraordinarily long time to live with a transplanted organ. He used to call me "James-Ellen" because he said I looked exactly like both of my parents. I hated it then, but when he died, I was sad because he wouldn't be there to call me that anymore. That was October 1988. December 24, 1989, his mother, my grandmother died. I still have the last Christmas gift she gave me. It was a yellow sweater I loved. Now one of my bears at my mom's house wears it. I actually got the gift the night she died. She'd had one of my aunts take her to pick out gifts for her 20+ grandchildren. September the next year, days after his birthday, my grandfather followed his wife of 50 years in death. August of the same year, my softball coach was driving a tractor trailer back home from a long haul. He fell asleep from the wheel five miles from his home and was killed.
After that it was a while before someone I felt a strong attachment to died. I went to a lot of funerals. I even went to funerals of a guy I didn't know to support a friend. I cherished being able to say good-bye. I had to watch the casket lowered to the ground. If they would've let me, for every funeral I would've watched them completely cover it with dirt. When my parents die, it will be my request. Wait, nevermind, both of them insist on being cremated. I talk about death a lot. It scares everyone around me. Its not like I'm suicidal. I'm controlling. So I want things to be the way I want them, even in death. I have threatened to haunt people. Hahaha. But I was serious. If it was possible and they purposely ignored my wishes, I would do it.
My organs must be donated. Obviously. Organ donation saved my uncle for 10 years. And the organ of a relative just saved my cousin's life as well. Another uncle on the other side has had his donated kidney for about 4 years. You can't take them with you. Well, you can, but they'll do you no good. You can give life to someone else. That's amazing. Part of you can live on for years. And if that person has a baby, just think, you've helped bring another life into this world. Okay this is one of my (once) private obsessions. I could go on for quite a while. But I'm probably scaring you, so I'll get to the point. I'll blog about Kenny's death another time.
I'm going to have to say good-bye to Pittsburgh at some point. As much as I hate to admit it, the city is growing on me a little. (I don't want to hear it dp or duck). But I'd actually like to visit more than I'd like to live here. Which is very strange. I actually also like showing people around the city. As much as I can with these crazy streets that end and pick up and curve and wind and go down hills and have no street signs and turn into the blue belt or yellow or purple or orange and go over a bridge or 20 into Homestead, the South Side, Wilkinsburg, the Hill, McKeesport, Mount Lebanon, Moon, Cranberry, Ross Township, and on the parkway north, east or west (no south), also known as 376, 279, 22-30, or Rt. 60. But that's how I feel about Atlanta, too. I love to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. But I'm used to my life and I really hate starting over. But alas, I must. So if you want to offer me a job in my field, in a major city with upwardly mobile Black people.... I'll take it! (Be reasonable folks).
The tangents!! I was also supposed to be adding something in here about saying good-bye at Hampton and when I graduated from high school, but this post took over itself. So alas, you will have to wait.
********LIGHTBULB. I just realized why this post came to me today. I couldn't figure it out. And it was kind of disturbing. Katherine Dunham died yesterday. If you don't know who she is, let me help you. She was the woman credited with bringing African and Carribean dances to the mainstream. She began the first black modern dance troupe. It traveled to 57 countries on 6 continents. Ms. Dunham, an American icon, was 96 years old. I love dance. This sista even had a style of dance named after her. FIERCE. I wish I'd had more formal training. But you wait. When I get a little more money, I will dance again!!!! May the spirit of Katherine Dunham forever reign in the world of modern dance.
5.13.2006
ROOMIE!!
Ok so you guys gave some excellent suggestions after my lamenting post which Miss Ashli scolded me about. She said you can't post about not wanting to post. But why not? Now that's some bullsh*t!! Don't you want to know if your beloved mellymell will not be around? i think you do. matter of fact i know you do. folks need to know!
So I decided I will write about roommates and begin a second series. This one about the life and times of the hamptonian known as jameil while matriculating at the good ole h of u.
You know how when you go to college everyone tells you not to room with your best friend b/c you'll end up hating each other? Well, coming from Charlotte, I knew no one going to Hampton. So that wasn't even an issue. My mom is a Hampton alumna, so I knew alumni in the Charlotte area. One of them had a daughter who was a senior my freshman year. Didn't really know her. Could recognize her on the street but didn't go in really knowing her.
Entered the dreaded "draft" to get a roommate. Ended up with Autumn, now known as the "O.R." (original roommate). The university sent each of us the contact info for the other. We got to know each other throughout the summer via email and prepared ourselves mentally to live in Kelsey Hall. When we got there we were directed to Stone. That's right. The building where you get mail that was for transfers and temporary housing. Except most everyone knew that but us. We completely unpacked and were told to move within the week. They wanted to split us up but we fought tooth and nail against that. She braided hair (probably for most of the freshman class). Freshman year was the year EVERYONE rocked braids, including the b.f. Soooo original.
So autumn told this dude rashad she would braid his hair for free if he got some of his friends to help us move. He brings harold, d, corey and marcus. i had already enlisted alex. i met him b/c his now sister-in-law clerked at the firm my mom used to work for. it took us an hour to move. LMAO!! everyone was like, how the hell did y'all get movin men? we got it like that. act like you know. so anyway. we moved to twitchell and there was some girl in our room. so we went to get that straightened out and ended up getting moved to virginia cleveland. VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV-C! CUTIES!! (hampton thing). don't ask why we repped our dorms so hard. i think it was an effort to bond the classes and make you attach yourself to the university. that and the whole class unity thing. "Q-U-I-N-T-E-S-S-E-N-C-E, Quintessence Five. Q-T-V!" "I love I love I love my Q-T-V!" i could really go on forever so i'll just stop now.
so we stayed together. she was cool. but b/c of her hair braiding, she got a million calls a day. it was so annoying being her damn secretary. and she would get stalkers. like the dude who called himself "lil ray ray" who was subsequently kicked out of school sophomore year for allegedly raping some girl. i say allegedly only because i can't remember if he was convicted. i know he was kicked out of school. i know he creeped me out. and i wanted to shake and choke him b/c he would call 5xs a day. i would be like hey stupid she ain't here!! like i told you 20 minutes ago!!! loser.
she moved off campus sophomore year. i stayed on. lottery again. this time i got a jersey girl. she was fun but she listened to music at MACH 10!! there would be days i was studying, no music and she would walk in and start blastin her music? what the hell? i don't get it. and she smoked. cigarettes. in the room. that is not allowed in the dorms. clearly. people would walk by my room like what the hell?!! a good thing: i got her liking a UGK song by the time she moved out! and introed her to 36 mafia before the oscars! ha! :)
that was my first of 3 years in good ol dubois hall. it was also the year i was coming into myself. no longer terrified i would flunk out. met the crew who i still keep in touch with including cc, deaconness troy aka down south georgia girl (dsgg), miss ashli, stace, michelle, morgan (my bmore girl). also met my former drinking partner who i no longer keep in touch with. i used to sneak my male friends in after hours all the time. it was one of my best years at hampton hands down.
she moved off and i wouldn't have lived w/her anyway. and i don't think she would've lived w/me either. lottery AGAIN! junior year i ended up w/a smelly girl who left food containers out. people would walk in my room like wth?!! funky. for real. she would have a trail of gummy bears from the door to the bed. what?! a trail? of gummy bears?! i don't get it. were you that hungry? are you trying to give the roaches directions? whatever. that semester i had abnormal psychology with kristen and joellen (also known as classy jojo). i had heard joellen's loud mouth and was absolutely not impressed. at all. then one night happened to go out w/her and some other people (the night i lost half my big toenail) and was so in love! (no homo. i think that phrase is hilarious!) that's my dog!! i love joellen! she's freakin hilarious!
so anyway. my roommate would also sit on her bed silently with her friend. they would listen to my phone conversations then use them for the basis of their own conversations, or comment. wth?! i'm not talking to you!!!!!!!!! kristen's roommate did the same thing. so we decided to move in together. the first week she had a nasty weeklong break up screaming at the top of her lungs, crying, stomping around, all that. i was like what the hell did i get myself into?! luckily. she was a great roomie after that. we both loved cnn headline news, ghetto FABULOUS music, food, not talking in the morning until you're walking out the door. it was great. best roommate ever. i will be going to her graduation for her master's in speech pathology at loyola university in baltimore next week. go roomie!!
she became an r.a. the next year. lottery AGAIN!! oh btw. if you're wondering why i didn't live w/some of these great friends, its because i would've killed them if i had to live w/them. and murder is bad. it ruins the friendship. the next year i get this sophomore who calls herself sheezy. this stupid bitch. everytime she had an issue w/me she would call her mom and have her tell me the problem. wtfh?!! so i wanted to shake and choke that loser. her mom tried to get me kicked out the room. then miss g (the dorm director oh so cool) was like, "you can't ask her to move out when your daughter can't even talk about her problems. if she has such a problem, she needs to move out." so she did! room to myself from thanksgiving, for the rest of senior year! yessssssss!! so that's it. that's my roommate story.
So I decided I will write about roommates and begin a second series. This one about the life and times of the hamptonian known as jameil while matriculating at the good ole h of u.
You know how when you go to college everyone tells you not to room with your best friend b/c you'll end up hating each other? Well, coming from Charlotte, I knew no one going to Hampton. So that wasn't even an issue. My mom is a Hampton alumna, so I knew alumni in the Charlotte area. One of them had a daughter who was a senior my freshman year. Didn't really know her. Could recognize her on the street but didn't go in really knowing her.
Entered the dreaded "draft" to get a roommate. Ended up with Autumn, now known as the "O.R." (original roommate). The university sent each of us the contact info for the other. We got to know each other throughout the summer via email and prepared ourselves mentally to live in Kelsey Hall. When we got there we were directed to Stone. That's right. The building where you get mail that was for transfers and temporary housing. Except most everyone knew that but us. We completely unpacked and were told to move within the week. They wanted to split us up but we fought tooth and nail against that. She braided hair (probably for most of the freshman class). Freshman year was the year EVERYONE rocked braids, including the b.f. Soooo original.
So autumn told this dude rashad she would braid his hair for free if he got some of his friends to help us move. He brings harold, d, corey and marcus. i had already enlisted alex. i met him b/c his now sister-in-law clerked at the firm my mom used to work for. it took us an hour to move. LMAO!! everyone was like, how the hell did y'all get movin men? we got it like that. act like you know. so anyway. we moved to twitchell and there was some girl in our room. so we went to get that straightened out and ended up getting moved to virginia cleveland. VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV-C! CUTIES!! (hampton thing). don't ask why we repped our dorms so hard. i think it was an effort to bond the classes and make you attach yourself to the university. that and the whole class unity thing. "Q-U-I-N-T-E-S-S-E-N-C-E, Quintessence Five. Q-T-V!" "I love I love I love my Q-T-V!" i could really go on forever so i'll just stop now.
so we stayed together. she was cool. but b/c of her hair braiding, she got a million calls a day. it was so annoying being her damn secretary. and she would get stalkers. like the dude who called himself "lil ray ray" who was subsequently kicked out of school sophomore year for allegedly raping some girl. i say allegedly only because i can't remember if he was convicted. i know he was kicked out of school. i know he creeped me out. and i wanted to shake and choke him b/c he would call 5xs a day. i would be like hey stupid she ain't here!! like i told you 20 minutes ago!!! loser.
she moved off campus sophomore year. i stayed on. lottery again. this time i got a jersey girl. she was fun but she listened to music at MACH 10!! there would be days i was studying, no music and she would walk in and start blastin her music? what the hell? i don't get it. and she smoked. cigarettes. in the room. that is not allowed in the dorms. clearly. people would walk by my room like what the hell?!! a good thing: i got her liking a UGK song by the time she moved out! and introed her to 36 mafia before the oscars! ha! :)
that was my first of 3 years in good ol dubois hall. it was also the year i was coming into myself. no longer terrified i would flunk out. met the crew who i still keep in touch with including cc, deaconness troy aka down south georgia girl (dsgg), miss ashli, stace, michelle, morgan (my bmore girl). also met my former drinking partner who i no longer keep in touch with. i used to sneak my male friends in after hours all the time. it was one of my best years at hampton hands down.
she moved off and i wouldn't have lived w/her anyway. and i don't think she would've lived w/me either. lottery AGAIN! junior year i ended up w/a smelly girl who left food containers out. people would walk in my room like wth?!! funky. for real. she would have a trail of gummy bears from the door to the bed. what?! a trail? of gummy bears?! i don't get it. were you that hungry? are you trying to give the roaches directions? whatever. that semester i had abnormal psychology with kristen and joellen (also known as classy jojo). i had heard joellen's loud mouth and was absolutely not impressed. at all. then one night happened to go out w/her and some other people (the night i lost half my big toenail) and was so in love! (no homo. i think that phrase is hilarious!) that's my dog!! i love joellen! she's freakin hilarious!
so anyway. my roommate would also sit on her bed silently with her friend. they would listen to my phone conversations then use them for the basis of their own conversations, or comment. wth?! i'm not talking to you!!!!!!!!! kristen's roommate did the same thing. so we decided to move in together. the first week she had a nasty weeklong break up screaming at the top of her lungs, crying, stomping around, all that. i was like what the hell did i get myself into?! luckily. she was a great roomie after that. we both loved cnn headline news, ghetto FABULOUS music, food, not talking in the morning until you're walking out the door. it was great. best roommate ever. i will be going to her graduation for her master's in speech pathology at loyola university in baltimore next week. go roomie!!
she became an r.a. the next year. lottery AGAIN!! oh btw. if you're wondering why i didn't live w/some of these great friends, its because i would've killed them if i had to live w/them. and murder is bad. it ruins the friendship. the next year i get this sophomore who calls herself sheezy. this stupid bitch. everytime she had an issue w/me she would call her mom and have her tell me the problem. wtfh?!! so i wanted to shake and choke that loser. her mom tried to get me kicked out the room. then miss g (the dorm director oh so cool) was like, "you can't ask her to move out when your daughter can't even talk about her problems. if she has such a problem, she needs to move out." so she did! room to myself from thanksgiving, for the rest of senior year! yessssssss!! so that's it. that's my roommate story.
5.12.2006
Help
I'm going thru bf withdrawal. I don't even feel like checking blogs. Now you know that's bad. And I don't feel like writing about either of my trips over the last two weeks to Charlotte and Connecticut to see the bf. So sad. I hate living 17 years away from my pookie. So give me something to write about or who knows when you'll get something worth reading again. Woe is me . :( I'm kidding guys! No woe is me. But I seriously don't know what to write about. And I really do miss the bf. So how about helpin a sista out? I'll preciate it!
5.05.2006
Unreasonable Requests
Apparently I am the queen of these. I just got off the phone with the b.f. He said, "There are a lot of rules for when you come here." I'm baffled. I said, "What? What are the rules?" He says, "I can't wash clothes. I can't play basketball. I can't call people back." Don't forget you can't play video games. Why? Because these are all things you can do when I'm not with you that you can't do when I'm here!!! Why?? Because you don't need me around to do any of those things. I'm not going to help you wash clothes. I don't want to sit around and watch you play ball. I don't play video games. And if you're talking to other people, you're not talking to me. I am almost willing to let the calling people back thing slide. He only gets the opportunity to call people back on his days off. I will be there for both of those. As long as its not taking hours, I don't see a problem. But the rest of it.... what the hell????? Are these unreasonable requests?
5.02.2006
Answerin the Bizness
1) D.L. Sands said...
I tend to read your blog posts as I imagine you'd read them aloud: extremely fast, and without breathing.
Ha! That's funny. I do actually talk like that when i'm excited. Its quite amusing.
2) Miss A. said...
what kind of car do you drive? who would you tongue kiss for $100,000 tax free dollars out of randy jackson from American Idol or kevin federline? (6) you don't look like you can :-P, but can you cook? and what's your specialty?
Ok I did see ashli and stace tried to get smart and answer those questions. ashli is right about the 100k. tho i'd rather go broke than do either. first of all i don't do old dudes and randy is definitely in that category. and there is nothing sexy about him. he looks like he wheezes. do you see how he has his mouth open all the time? uh uh. and i hate american idol. wack. but then, i definitely can't do the greasy white trash. so i'll just have to pay my taxes. and i'm gonna fight you hater!! yes i can cook. i like cooking. 365 no repeats!! go rachael ray!! i should get paid as much as i promo her book. but brekky is my specialty and my fave. and i make a mean peach cobbler from scratch. but i also do great burgers. and i love chicken dishes. i'm strangely good at following recipes. the first time i make just about anything, it ordinarily comes out the way i wanted it to.
3/4/5) Miss Ashli said...
Miss A, in Jameil's absence I'll answer your questions for you, lets see how good i am at this: drives a lancer, and for 100,000 tax free dollars she would kiss randy because i can't see her kissing a dirty lookin wannabe rappin white boy, and she can only cook breakfast since thats all she eats, specialty = western omelet and a side of homefries. And when's she's real saddity with it she'll make a frittata instead with a side scallopped potato casserole and for lunch a steak burger with chunks of gorganzola cheese, a pesto mayo all on a garlic & onion focaccia round. Holla!
and
Stacie von Kutieboots said...
Get it Ashli! Her specialty is a damn italian cheeseburger with gorgonzola, baby spinach leaves on a whole wheat kaiser rollDon't forget some other foreign terms like "Now and Afters" (now and laters) or "they are going like bagels!" (going like hotcakes)What I want to know is what did you wear everyday you were gone!
see what i mean? hoochies think they're funny. but to answer stace's question here we go. but first more of the stacey and ashli show.
Miss Ashli said...
stace: i know what she didn't wear; she didn't wear that yellow dress i fed-exed her ass
bitches. that question is too long to answer. i don't feel like it right now. so i'll have to get back to you. and no i didn't wear that yellow dress. sorry!
6) Epsilonicus said...
Have fun!!Did u get the myspace messge I sent you???
i'm sure i did. i didn't respond? let me go do that.
7) Karamale said...
thanks for showing me some love, jameil. next time, fuck me harder. meanwhile, question:goobers or raisinettes?
such language!! neither. both of them are nasty.
8) Stacie von Kutieboots said...
Nor did she mention the yellow crushed silk tank from express I sent her...can't be nice to some people!
sigh. the madness continues. THANK YOU SO MUCH STACEY FOR ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME. WITHOUT YOU I WOULD BE NOTHING. YOU COMPLETE ME.
9) 4EverJennayNay said...
Ummm...I've been wondering this for sometime now.Who was Sweet Pea's daddy?You know, Olive Oil's son? She was always going back and for between Popeye and Bluto. Popeye would always have to save her from Bluto after he beat her ass or did something crazy. So who was Sweet Pea's daddy?
omg crazy! i haven't a clue!
10) Christopher aka CNEL said...
I want to know how come you're so confident? What's ya secret?
The proof is in the pudding. J/k. hahahaha. That was hilarious. You were sittin here like wtf?? Yeah, I've always been like this for the most part. There were times when I wasn't as confident in all areas. But I've been told I was intelligent and special my whole life. So you start to believe it.
11) Ladynay said...
What made you want to go into journalism? Where do you see yourself in the next 10 years?How many kids you want (can have grandbabies unless you make or adopt a kid)?How long you and you bf been together?Did you get your liver pudding?What side of the bed do you sleep on?
It was either journalism, music, english, veterinary medicine, or genetics. music was out b/c i HATE theory. english was out b/c i don't like subjective opinions for a grade. veterinary medicine out b/c i don't like animals enough and i certainly don't want to see sick ones. i was only considering that b/c my cousin is a vet and i thought that was so cool. genetics b/c i think dna and all that is soooo cool. but i have always had awful evil math teachers so that was out, too.
10 years, I see myself doing something huge, making a significant amount of money, married with 2 or 3 kids. Leaning toward 3. I wouldn't mind adoption if my husband and I couldn't have kids and am seriously considering adoption anyway. I've wanted to adopt since I was like 13. i don't know why.
The bf. We went to Hampton together. Met freshman year and became friends thru several mutual friends. Got closer soph. yr. b/c we were in the same major, had a lot of classes together, and would give each other love/relationship advice. It was really great. Over the course of soph, jr and senior years, he became one of my closest friends and confidantes. He tried to convince me to kiss him (he claims once a semester, but i know it was more than that) but I didn't want to ruin our friendship. He was one of my few male friends to keep in touch with me throughout the summer. We went to Sr. Ball together. The night of graduation we stayed up all night talking and listening to music in his car. (Hmmm.... That's strange. He had an apt. I have no idea why we stayed in his car).
The year following graduation, we stayed close and in touch. Continuing to talk to each other at least twice a week for at least an hour and a half, and up to four or five hours. What the hell do we talk about? We try to figure this out everytime we have a marathon session (including yesterday's 3 hour convo). We talk about music a LOT, sports, work (those two go hand in hand for him), rachael ray (LMAO!!), tv. I think that's about it. But probably not. Oh yeah, and sex! So about a year ago, maybe even a year and a half, I started thinking about him in "that way." As more than a friend that is. And it took me about a year, from about October 2004 to August 2005 to convince myself it was ok to love him beyond our friendship love; and that it wouldn't ruin our friendship. So I sent him a letter. It was only one page but it said everything I needed it to. He didn't know how to take it. So we just kind of ignored it.
He sent me a package for my bday in August and it was just what I wanted. I was home alone w/no friends as I had just moved to Pittsburgh. So he talked to me from 1130 pm on August 22nd until about 3 hours into my birthday. In October, we made plans to meet in the middle for the first time. It was our first time seeing each other in a year and a month and a half. I knew then and he says he did too but we weren't honest with each other. We both acted like it was nice but not really a big deal. Then he called me in November to ask me if I wanted to fly in to see The Color Purple on Broadway w/him. Of course I said yes. We saw the play on December 5th. I went home on the 6th. The 10th he told me he loved me and asked me to be his girlfriend. So it has been nearly 5 months.
Didn't get my liver pudding!!! totally forgot until you said that!! i'm going to push myself off of something!!! ahhhhhhh!! lololol. i usually sleep on whatever side of the bed the window isn't on. i hate sleeping next to the window.
12) 4EverJennayNay said...
ever regret anything?
nope. for what? learn from it and move on.
13) Chris said...
what is your ultimate life goal?
happiness. i want to be financially secure and love my job. but most of all i want to be in love with life and my kids.
I tend to read your blog posts as I imagine you'd read them aloud: extremely fast, and without breathing.
Ha! That's funny. I do actually talk like that when i'm excited. Its quite amusing.
2) Miss A. said...
what kind of car do you drive? who would you tongue kiss for $100,000 tax free dollars out of randy jackson from American Idol or kevin federline? (6) you don't look like you can :-P, but can you cook? and what's your specialty?
Ok I did see ashli and stace tried to get smart and answer those questions. ashli is right about the 100k. tho i'd rather go broke than do either. first of all i don't do old dudes and randy is definitely in that category. and there is nothing sexy about him. he looks like he wheezes. do you see how he has his mouth open all the time? uh uh. and i hate american idol. wack. but then, i definitely can't do the greasy white trash. so i'll just have to pay my taxes. and i'm gonna fight you hater!! yes i can cook. i like cooking. 365 no repeats!! go rachael ray!! i should get paid as much as i promo her book. but brekky is my specialty and my fave. and i make a mean peach cobbler from scratch. but i also do great burgers. and i love chicken dishes. i'm strangely good at following recipes. the first time i make just about anything, it ordinarily comes out the way i wanted it to.
3/4/5) Miss Ashli said...
Miss A, in Jameil's absence I'll answer your questions for you, lets see how good i am at this: drives a lancer, and for 100,000 tax free dollars she would kiss randy because i can't see her kissing a dirty lookin wannabe rappin white boy, and she can only cook breakfast since thats all she eats, specialty = western omelet and a side of homefries. And when's she's real saddity with it she'll make a frittata instead with a side scallopped potato casserole and for lunch a steak burger with chunks of gorganzola cheese, a pesto mayo all on a garlic & onion focaccia round. Holla!
and
Stacie von Kutieboots said...
Get it Ashli! Her specialty is a damn italian cheeseburger with gorgonzola, baby spinach leaves on a whole wheat kaiser rollDon't forget some other foreign terms like "Now and Afters" (now and laters) or "they are going like bagels!" (going like hotcakes)What I want to know is what did you wear everyday you were gone!
see what i mean? hoochies think they're funny. but to answer stace's question here we go. but first more of the stacey and ashli show.
Miss Ashli said...
stace: i know what she didn't wear; she didn't wear that yellow dress i fed-exed her ass
bitches. that question is too long to answer. i don't feel like it right now. so i'll have to get back to you. and no i didn't wear that yellow dress. sorry!
6) Epsilonicus said...
Have fun!!Did u get the myspace messge I sent you???
i'm sure i did. i didn't respond? let me go do that.
7) Karamale said...
thanks for showing me some love, jameil. next time, fuck me harder. meanwhile, question:goobers or raisinettes?
such language!! neither. both of them are nasty.
8) Stacie von Kutieboots said...
Nor did she mention the yellow crushed silk tank from express I sent her...can't be nice to some people!
sigh. the madness continues. THANK YOU SO MUCH STACEY FOR ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME. WITHOUT YOU I WOULD BE NOTHING. YOU COMPLETE ME.
9) 4EverJennayNay said...
Ummm...I've been wondering this for sometime now.Who was Sweet Pea's daddy?You know, Olive Oil's son? She was always going back and for between Popeye and Bluto. Popeye would always have to save her from Bluto after he beat her ass or did something crazy. So who was Sweet Pea's daddy?
omg crazy! i haven't a clue!
10) Christopher aka CNEL said...
I want to know how come you're so confident? What's ya secret?
The proof is in the pudding. J/k. hahahaha. That was hilarious. You were sittin here like wtf?? Yeah, I've always been like this for the most part. There were times when I wasn't as confident in all areas. But I've been told I was intelligent and special my whole life. So you start to believe it.
11) Ladynay said...
What made you want to go into journalism? Where do you see yourself in the next 10 years?How many kids you want (can have grandbabies unless you make or adopt a kid)?How long you and you bf been together?Did you get your liver pudding?What side of the bed do you sleep on?
It was either journalism, music, english, veterinary medicine, or genetics. music was out b/c i HATE theory. english was out b/c i don't like subjective opinions for a grade. veterinary medicine out b/c i don't like animals enough and i certainly don't want to see sick ones. i was only considering that b/c my cousin is a vet and i thought that was so cool. genetics b/c i think dna and all that is soooo cool. but i have always had awful evil math teachers so that was out, too.
10 years, I see myself doing something huge, making a significant amount of money, married with 2 or 3 kids. Leaning toward 3. I wouldn't mind adoption if my husband and I couldn't have kids and am seriously considering adoption anyway. I've wanted to adopt since I was like 13. i don't know why.
The bf. We went to Hampton together. Met freshman year and became friends thru several mutual friends. Got closer soph. yr. b/c we were in the same major, had a lot of classes together, and would give each other love/relationship advice. It was really great. Over the course of soph, jr and senior years, he became one of my closest friends and confidantes. He tried to convince me to kiss him (he claims once a semester, but i know it was more than that) but I didn't want to ruin our friendship. He was one of my few male friends to keep in touch with me throughout the summer. We went to Sr. Ball together. The night of graduation we stayed up all night talking and listening to music in his car. (Hmmm.... That's strange. He had an apt. I have no idea why we stayed in his car).
The year following graduation, we stayed close and in touch. Continuing to talk to each other at least twice a week for at least an hour and a half, and up to four or five hours. What the hell do we talk about? We try to figure this out everytime we have a marathon session (including yesterday's 3 hour convo). We talk about music a LOT, sports, work (those two go hand in hand for him), rachael ray (LMAO!!), tv. I think that's about it. But probably not. Oh yeah, and sex! So about a year ago, maybe even a year and a half, I started thinking about him in "that way." As more than a friend that is. And it took me about a year, from about October 2004 to August 2005 to convince myself it was ok to love him beyond our friendship love; and that it wouldn't ruin our friendship. So I sent him a letter. It was only one page but it said everything I needed it to. He didn't know how to take it. So we just kind of ignored it.
He sent me a package for my bday in August and it was just what I wanted. I was home alone w/no friends as I had just moved to Pittsburgh. So he talked to me from 1130 pm on August 22nd until about 3 hours into my birthday. In October, we made plans to meet in the middle for the first time. It was our first time seeing each other in a year and a month and a half. I knew then and he says he did too but we weren't honest with each other. We both acted like it was nice but not really a big deal. Then he called me in November to ask me if I wanted to fly in to see The Color Purple on Broadway w/him. Of course I said yes. We saw the play on December 5th. I went home on the 6th. The 10th he told me he loved me and asked me to be his girlfriend. So it has been nearly 5 months.
Didn't get my liver pudding!!! totally forgot until you said that!! i'm going to push myself off of something!!! ahhhhhhh!! lololol. i usually sleep on whatever side of the bed the window isn't on. i hate sleeping next to the window.
12) 4EverJennayNay said...
ever regret anything?
nope. for what? learn from it and move on.
13) Chris said...
what is your ultimate life goal?
happiness. i want to be financially secure and love my job. but most of all i want to be in love with life and my kids.
4.26.2006
Get out my bizness
First, I'd like to say F YOU Karamale!! LMAO!! I'm off to the queen city and will likely be unable to correspond w/the beloved blog fam. But worry not! I will not leave you in the lurch nearly as long as MISS A!!! or Karamale!! Oh yeah, I'm callin folk OUT!!
Anywho, when I said get out my bizness, I meant get in it. I've seen some very interesting concepts on other blogs so I'm going to try this. I'm gon let y'all ask me any question, as many as you want that you've been wanting to know or some philosophical bullish. Whateva. Reader's choice! So that's how you will entertain yourselves while I'm gone. Variety people. It's the thyme of life. Hahahahaha. I sound like a nationalized citizen. I know this lady from Spain who messes up all colloquialisms. "It's like a catch 77." or "Close! But no potato!" LMAO!! Anyway ask away.
Anywho, when I said get out my bizness, I meant get in it. I've seen some very interesting concepts on other blogs so I'm going to try this. I'm gon let y'all ask me any question, as many as you want that you've been wanting to know or some philosophical bullish. Whateva. Reader's choice! So that's how you will entertain yourselves while I'm gone. Variety people. It's the thyme of life. Hahahahaha. I sound like a nationalized citizen. I know this lady from Spain who messes up all colloquialisms. "It's like a catch 77." or "Close! But no potato!" LMAO!! Anyway ask away.
4.23.2006
Bonjourno!
Hola mi amigos! One day I was bored at work and I realized I know random words/phrases in 5 languages other than English. Isn't that strange? I don't know how I keep meeting all these people who teach me strange languages. Spanish, French (know that one best), German, Italian and Japanese.
Soooo there was this crazy girl at work right? She was new. She asked me to get her a cup of coffee. A what? What does this look like? Its self-serve trick! I was shocked. How bout in case you didn't know, slavery is over. I don't drink coffee. I can't make coffee and I sure as hell can't get your coffee. I directed her to the pot. Don't try me. But I don't have to worry about her. She irritated the hell out of everyone by not doing her job and got fired the next day. Oh well. C'est la vie.
Last week was the week from hell. It was honestly the worst week of my short work career. The entire thing was enough to make me want to jump off of the tower. Me, the morning and the noon producers were all going to hold hands and jump together. Did you know people in Japan have been making suicide pacts? They meet on the internet and agree to meet together to kill themselves. They either get in a car and let it run in an enclosed place or pill overdoses. Now that's just crazy talk. Clearly you could not pay me to commit suicide. One because it would do no good. Not like you can take it with you. And two because its not that serious. I will not let my surroundings drive me to that. But the week was terrible. 56 hours but it felt like 70. I don't even want to think about it anymore. So that's it. I won't even tell you about the horridnessosity.
I will be home on Wednesday. WEDNESDAY FOLK!!! I can't wait. I'm like a kid waiting for Christmas. My mommy and her friend will be making ribs, green beans, mac and cheese, potato salad, and broccoli-rice casserole. I can't wait. I will also be attending the Northeast Regional Conference for Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. I bought a FABULOUS royal blue dress w/a blue and gold brooch to wear to the banquet. My girls will be going out with me. I should see some of my fellow Hamptonians. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!! I will also need to hit up my fave hometown restaurants, or at least places I can't eat at in Pittsburgh. Showmars, Bojangles, Backyard Burger. My mom was like, I'm mad all you're talking about is food! Lolol. Ok also, Nordstrom, a decent-sized Nine West store, Dillard's, Hecht's, go back and see my Express people. That shall be great fun!! Can't wait! And I get to see my line sister!!!!!!!
Speaking of the l.s. how bout she just joined a new church, right? In the new members class, the dude said, "Did you know 58,000 people go to hell a year?" HAHAHAHAHA!! God gives annual reports? That's AMAZING! Who knew? Not me! Can I sign up? Wow... is that how you get people to give their lives to Christ? By making up random stats? Nonsense. I told her she should have walked out. But then I would not have that gem for my blog, so I guess its good she stayed through her skepticism. LOLOLOL!
Omg! and I found out me and the b.f. are even more compatible than I thought/knew we were! He's at home right now and went to visit his neighbor and her new baby. His mom asked him if that made him want to have a baby. He said, "No, if anything it turned him off." Then, are you ready? He said, "I want to skip fatherhood and go straight to grandfatherhood." YESSSSS!! That is so hot! I was going to link you to the post where I said I only want to be a grandma and skip motherhood so then I could give them back. But I couldn't find it. Sorry guys. But yeah, isn't that beautiful?! Lolol.
Also, I would like to issue an apology for all of you who have ever been the recipient of a drunk dial from me. The b.f. drunk dialed me 5xs in one night. Luckily I didn't have to go to work the next day. But I was still like, I'm going to cause bodily harm to you!! He's the sweetest, though. He would pass people on the street and say, "I'm on the phone with my girlfriend who I love very much!" I told him to quit talking to strangers. Do you know then some white guy was like, "Hey that's great man! I know all about you guys my best friend is black." What the fu.....??" What is it with white people. Back at home I laughed in this white girl's face when she said that to me. I was like how is it that all white people have a black best friend? If that was true, racism wouldn't exist. That's bullshit. And its amazing how your black best friend wasn't able to tell you he is not the representative for all blacks. We're not a homogenous body and you should shut the *boop* up.
Soooo there was this crazy girl at work right? She was new. She asked me to get her a cup of coffee. A what? What does this look like? Its self-serve trick! I was shocked. How bout in case you didn't know, slavery is over. I don't drink coffee. I can't make coffee and I sure as hell can't get your coffee. I directed her to the pot. Don't try me. But I don't have to worry about her. She irritated the hell out of everyone by not doing her job and got fired the next day. Oh well. C'est la vie.
Last week was the week from hell. It was honestly the worst week of my short work career. The entire thing was enough to make me want to jump off of the tower. Me, the morning and the noon producers were all going to hold hands and jump together. Did you know people in Japan have been making suicide pacts? They meet on the internet and agree to meet together to kill themselves. They either get in a car and let it run in an enclosed place or pill overdoses. Now that's just crazy talk. Clearly you could not pay me to commit suicide. One because it would do no good. Not like you can take it with you. And two because its not that serious. I will not let my surroundings drive me to that. But the week was terrible. 56 hours but it felt like 70. I don't even want to think about it anymore. So that's it. I won't even tell you about the horridnessosity.
I will be home on Wednesday. WEDNESDAY FOLK!!! I can't wait. I'm like a kid waiting for Christmas. My mommy and her friend will be making ribs, green beans, mac and cheese, potato salad, and broccoli-rice casserole. I can't wait. I will also be attending the Northeast Regional Conference for Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. I bought a FABULOUS royal blue dress w/a blue and gold brooch to wear to the banquet. My girls will be going out with me. I should see some of my fellow Hamptonians. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!! I will also need to hit up my fave hometown restaurants, or at least places I can't eat at in Pittsburgh. Showmars, Bojangles, Backyard Burger. My mom was like, I'm mad all you're talking about is food! Lolol. Ok also, Nordstrom, a decent-sized Nine West store, Dillard's, Hecht's, go back and see my Express people. That shall be great fun!! Can't wait! And I get to see my line sister!!!!!!!
Speaking of the l.s. how bout she just joined a new church, right? In the new members class, the dude said, "Did you know 58,000 people go to hell a year?" HAHAHAHAHA!! God gives annual reports? That's AMAZING! Who knew? Not me! Can I sign up? Wow... is that how you get people to give their lives to Christ? By making up random stats? Nonsense. I told her she should have walked out. But then I would not have that gem for my blog, so I guess its good she stayed through her skepticism. LOLOLOL!
Omg! and I found out me and the b.f. are even more compatible than I thought/knew we were! He's at home right now and went to visit his neighbor and her new baby. His mom asked him if that made him want to have a baby. He said, "No, if anything it turned him off." Then, are you ready? He said, "I want to skip fatherhood and go straight to grandfatherhood." YESSSSS!! That is so hot! I was going to link you to the post where I said I only want to be a grandma and skip motherhood so then I could give them back. But I couldn't find it. Sorry guys. But yeah, isn't that beautiful?! Lolol.
Also, I would like to issue an apology for all of you who have ever been the recipient of a drunk dial from me. The b.f. drunk dialed me 5xs in one night. Luckily I didn't have to go to work the next day. But I was still like, I'm going to cause bodily harm to you!! He's the sweetest, though. He would pass people on the street and say, "I'm on the phone with my girlfriend who I love very much!" I told him to quit talking to strangers. Do you know then some white guy was like, "Hey that's great man! I know all about you guys my best friend is black." What the fu.....??" What is it with white people. Back at home I laughed in this white girl's face when she said that to me. I was like how is it that all white people have a black best friend? If that was true, racism wouldn't exist. That's bullshit. And its amazing how your black best friend wasn't able to tell you he is not the representative for all blacks. We're not a homogenous body and you should shut the *boop* up.
4.14.2006
State of Black America Part V: Names
"In contemporary usage and in the work of pop entertainers such as rappers, "nigger" (or "nigga") is spoken as a form of "liberation" from convention. To those who use it freely and even fiercely, it means that a black world exists with its own rules in which the word is well understood in its various meanings. In the real world, nigger is a traditional insult; it applies to a position down below, which black swagger, comedy routines, and rapping have no power to change. If racists believed any of that theory about liberation through repetition, they would already have found another word to express their contempt, their paranoia, their hatred."
--Excerpt from The Artificial White Man: Essays on Authenticity by Stanley Crouch.
This book is not as engaging as the previous quote may lead you to conclude. However, that excerpt is the best part, and therefore worth exploring. This is not just about the word nigger. It's about all words used to demean and demoralize our experience and place in America and conversely uplift or simply identify. Nigger, nigga, nigra, coon, darkie, monkey, African booty scratcher, jungle bunny, Uncle Tom, sellout, Black, African-American, Afro-American, Black-American, Negro, Colored.
We fight for and against these labels throughout our lives. It makes me wonder where we will be in terms of our identities when our children grow up. How will we explain to them the evolution? Because I think the current generation and the coming ones have somehow and may continue to miss that lesson. Many of us have some vague sort of understanding of the progression from the slave nigra to the African-American. But apparently not enough to escape from calling each other niggers. Oh excuse me, that's nigga, right? I never got that. What's the difference? Either way you'll be mad if some white person calls you that. I'm not going to act like nigga is not a part of my vocabulary, but it is increasingly annoying to me. Like, do you have no other way to address me? My friends love that word.
The more I work around white people for the majority of my life again, the more sensitive I become to the word. Its like if one of these people were to get so comfortable around me that the word slipped, there would be a huge problem. And while I have some sense of the fact that they know there is a line that should not be crossed, I also feel them getting more and more comfortable. There have been several questionable things that have slipped out that were right on that line of making me want to harm someone.
One of my corporate America friends had this conundrum in the last couple of weeks. Someone at work asked her if there was anything she preferred to be called. Of course the first thing she smartly said was her name. Then they asked if it mattered if she were called Black or African-American. She said it never really mattered to her, and there was only one word that was unacceptable. Then one girl asked, "Well what about colored? Is that okay?" I have no idea how I would have reacted if put in that same situation. But my first thought was not well intentioned. Let's just put it that way. Obviously I wouldn't have been murderous, but like I said, I don't know how I would have reacted.
Another friend was at a party with majority white co-workers present. They were sitting at table playing cards. The friend we'll call Y was the only Black person at the table. One of his co-workers was listening to Biggie's "Juicy" on his ipod and felt comfortable enough to say the word nigga singing along with the song. Y didn't say anything but everyone close enough to hear it was instantly uncomfortable. Y didn't want to make a scene and turn the few Black people against the ignorant white boy who thought that was acceptable, ruining the mood of the party. On the one hand, you don't want to be that problematic Black person and ruin the relationship with your co-workers. But on the other hand, you don't want to give the impression that that kind of language is acceptable. I think in that situation I would have been a lot more willing to make a scene.
Another friend has a problem with being called African-American because she's not African and "has no ties to Africa." She also cites the fact that people who immigrate from Africa and gain citizenship are considered African-American. I never understood either of those lines of reasoning when I heard them before, and they were not any clearer when reiterated recently. I am Black, I am Negro, I'm probably even colored. But I am not a nigger. I am African-American if for no other reason than it reminds someone that my ancestors were brought to this nation in chains in the bowels of ships, stripped from their families for centuries while they built this nation to what it is today. So what is in a name?
Nigger has been used as a means to keep Black people in their place. Yes, many believe that we are stealing the power from the word. But if the power was truly gone, perhaps we would not be so offended by its usage among other races.
--Excerpt from The Artificial White Man: Essays on Authenticity by Stanley Crouch.
This book is not as engaging as the previous quote may lead you to conclude. However, that excerpt is the best part, and therefore worth exploring. This is not just about the word nigger. It's about all words used to demean and demoralize our experience and place in America and conversely uplift or simply identify. Nigger, nigga, nigra, coon, darkie, monkey, African booty scratcher, jungle bunny, Uncle Tom, sellout, Black, African-American, Afro-American, Black-American, Negro, Colored.
We fight for and against these labels throughout our lives. It makes me wonder where we will be in terms of our identities when our children grow up. How will we explain to them the evolution? Because I think the current generation and the coming ones have somehow and may continue to miss that lesson. Many of us have some vague sort of understanding of the progression from the slave nigra to the African-American. But apparently not enough to escape from calling each other niggers. Oh excuse me, that's nigga, right? I never got that. What's the difference? Either way you'll be mad if some white person calls you that. I'm not going to act like nigga is not a part of my vocabulary, but it is increasingly annoying to me. Like, do you have no other way to address me? My friends love that word.
The more I work around white people for the majority of my life again, the more sensitive I become to the word. Its like if one of these people were to get so comfortable around me that the word slipped, there would be a huge problem. And while I have some sense of the fact that they know there is a line that should not be crossed, I also feel them getting more and more comfortable. There have been several questionable things that have slipped out that were right on that line of making me want to harm someone.
One of my corporate America friends had this conundrum in the last couple of weeks. Someone at work asked her if there was anything she preferred to be called. Of course the first thing she smartly said was her name. Then they asked if it mattered if she were called Black or African-American. She said it never really mattered to her, and there was only one word that was unacceptable. Then one girl asked, "Well what about colored? Is that okay?" I have no idea how I would have reacted if put in that same situation. But my first thought was not well intentioned. Let's just put it that way. Obviously I wouldn't have been murderous, but like I said, I don't know how I would have reacted.
Another friend was at a party with majority white co-workers present. They were sitting at table playing cards. The friend we'll call Y was the only Black person at the table. One of his co-workers was listening to Biggie's "Juicy" on his ipod and felt comfortable enough to say the word nigga singing along with the song. Y didn't say anything but everyone close enough to hear it was instantly uncomfortable. Y didn't want to make a scene and turn the few Black people against the ignorant white boy who thought that was acceptable, ruining the mood of the party. On the one hand, you don't want to be that problematic Black person and ruin the relationship with your co-workers. But on the other hand, you don't want to give the impression that that kind of language is acceptable. I think in that situation I would have been a lot more willing to make a scene.
Another friend has a problem with being called African-American because she's not African and "has no ties to Africa." She also cites the fact that people who immigrate from Africa and gain citizenship are considered African-American. I never understood either of those lines of reasoning when I heard them before, and they were not any clearer when reiterated recently. I am Black, I am Negro, I'm probably even colored. But I am not a nigger. I am African-American if for no other reason than it reminds someone that my ancestors were brought to this nation in chains in the bowels of ships, stripped from their families for centuries while they built this nation to what it is today. So what is in a name?
Nigger has been used as a means to keep Black people in their place. Yes, many believe that we are stealing the power from the word. But if the power was truly gone, perhaps we would not be so offended by its usage among other races.
4.09.2006
I'm Not an Alcoholic...
...Im a Drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings-Bumper Sticker
I got this survey from ChezNiki and I'd like to say damn her b/c I said I wouldn't do another of these... But come on!! This is tooooo up my alley so stop cursing me all those who have tagged and I have not obliged. I'm just onery. So here it is....
1. What is your favorite beer? Honey Brown. Yuengling and Amber Bock are tasty, too
2. Favorite mixed drink? tanqueray and tonic
2a. Favorite straight drank (as opposed to a straight "drink" which would involve better liquor) oh honey, no! I only drink good liquor. No bottom shelf for me! Ain't that right Miss Ashli? Lol
3. Favorite shot? No shots for me anymore. I always used to lose count of how many I had and not count them along with whatever else I had been drinking. So I'd be on like drink number 4 and have a beer and be like, why do I feel so drunk? Oooooh. It might be those 3 shots I had. Yeah....
4. Who’s your favorite person(s) to go drinking with? Morgan, Michelle, Stace, Ashli, Chantee, dear old Dad! :)
5. Favorite bar? Hmmm... in Pittsburgh, I would say Sports Rock. At home, I don't think I have a fave.
6. If you are trying to get really drunk, you drink... tequila. Or two of anything I make. There is a reason I call myself the one hit wonder. I can knock most (esp. girls) out w/one shot!
7. Favorite day of the week for drinking? Any day b/c any day could be my Friday.
8. First drink you ever had? Blackberry rum. Sooooooooo good!! You can drink it straight and it tastes like "kool-aid!" :)
9. First drink you got drunk off of? Thug Passion. Wow...
10. When was the last time you drank? Right now. I couldn't remember so I decided to go get a beer out the fridge. Now that I think about it last Friday I had a Bailey's and Hennessey and I think Thursday I had a parrot bay mango w/oj.
11. Last time you got really drunk? Thursday a week ago
12. Last time you got sick from drinking? I think 2003 but I could be wrong
13. Last time you passed out? never
14. What’s your favorite holiday to drink? doesn't matter. ooh! but my cuz always has these cook-outs 4th of July so I'll say then
15. Have you ever started drinking before noon? Yep. By that time I've either been up for 9 hours or 12 so that's happy hour to me.
16. Favorite thing to eat when drunk? breakfast! love it!!
17. Favorite drinking game? we don't need drinking games. chug-a-lug!
18. Favorite person to have drunk conversations with? the b.f.
19. Have you ever had drunk sex? No.
20. Favorite person to call when you are drunk?the bf
21. Favorite song to sing when drinking? whatever's on the radio, usually something really ghetto and hyper, either southern or bmore club
22. Best drunk story you ever heard? stories about me from my friends that I ordinarily don't remember or can only remember after they tell me. like "what?! for real! no i didn't! I did? damn... oh yeahhhh!! damn... oh well!" oh yeah and stories about the CT and NY parental parties!
23. What famous person would you like to go drinking with? Henry Simmons, but only if I could grope him afterwards (that's what chezniki said and I have to agree! be-yoooooooooutiful!!)
24. Where’s your ideal drinking location? anywhere my friends are that I don't have to drive from
25. Any alcohol related arrests? nope!
I got this survey from ChezNiki and I'd like to say damn her b/c I said I wouldn't do another of these... But come on!! This is tooooo up my alley so stop cursing me all those who have tagged and I have not obliged. I'm just onery. So here it is....
1. What is your favorite beer? Honey Brown. Yuengling and Amber Bock are tasty, too
2. Favorite mixed drink? tanqueray and tonic
2a. Favorite straight drank (as opposed to a straight "drink" which would involve better liquor) oh honey, no! I only drink good liquor. No bottom shelf for me! Ain't that right Miss Ashli? Lol
3. Favorite shot? No shots for me anymore. I always used to lose count of how many I had and not count them along with whatever else I had been drinking. So I'd be on like drink number 4 and have a beer and be like, why do I feel so drunk? Oooooh. It might be those 3 shots I had. Yeah....
4. Who’s your favorite person(s) to go drinking with? Morgan, Michelle, Stace, Ashli, Chantee, dear old Dad! :)
5. Favorite bar? Hmmm... in Pittsburgh, I would say Sports Rock. At home, I don't think I have a fave.
6. If you are trying to get really drunk, you drink... tequila. Or two of anything I make. There is a reason I call myself the one hit wonder. I can knock most (esp. girls) out w/one shot!
7. Favorite day of the week for drinking? Any day b/c any day could be my Friday.
8. First drink you ever had? Blackberry rum. Sooooooooo good!! You can drink it straight and it tastes like "kool-aid!" :)
9. First drink you got drunk off of? Thug Passion. Wow...
10. When was the last time you drank? Right now. I couldn't remember so I decided to go get a beer out the fridge. Now that I think about it last Friday I had a Bailey's and Hennessey and I think Thursday I had a parrot bay mango w/oj.
11. Last time you got really drunk? Thursday a week ago
12. Last time you got sick from drinking? I think 2003 but I could be wrong
13. Last time you passed out? never
14. What’s your favorite holiday to drink? doesn't matter. ooh! but my cuz always has these cook-outs 4th of July so I'll say then
15. Have you ever started drinking before noon? Yep. By that time I've either been up for 9 hours or 12 so that's happy hour to me.
16. Favorite thing to eat when drunk? breakfast! love it!!
17. Favorite drinking game? we don't need drinking games. chug-a-lug!
18. Favorite person to have drunk conversations with? the b.f.
19. Have you ever had drunk sex? No.
20. Favorite person to call when you are drunk?the bf
21. Favorite song to sing when drinking? whatever's on the radio, usually something really ghetto and hyper, either southern or bmore club
22. Best drunk story you ever heard? stories about me from my friends that I ordinarily don't remember or can only remember after they tell me. like "what?! for real! no i didn't! I did? damn... oh yeahhhh!! damn... oh well!" oh yeah and stories about the CT and NY parental parties!
23. What famous person would you like to go drinking with? Henry Simmons, but only if I could grope him afterwards (that's what chezniki said and I have to agree! be-yoooooooooutiful!!)
24. Where’s your ideal drinking location? anywhere my friends are that I don't have to drive from
25. Any alcohol related arrests? nope!
4.04.2006
Oprah? Stupid? And other "neat" stories
So the model republican (at work-- called such b/c his fave outfit is khakis, navy blazer, white shirt, red tie, american flag pin on the lapel, and "dock shoes") tries to tell me Oprah is an idiot. Yo. I almost had to jump up and show him what set I'm claimin. Don't try to play Oprah. He doesn't know who he's talking to. That's grounds for a beat down. Clearly Oprah makes more in a day than you make in a whole year, so perhaps you need to get up on her special brand of idiocy.
How bout PA has some rich ass teachers. So they will strike anytime they feel. Don't like your contract? STRIKE! and the parents get all pissy and pressure the school district to just give 'em what they want. 80k. yeah, you read that right. there are teachers in the pittsburgh area who make 80k a year!! wtf?! i'm in the WRONG profession! are you kidding? and in one local district, they just approved a contract that gave the teachers an avg. yearly raise of 3.9%, again i say, WTF?!! now i have more than the avg. appreciation for teachers, but come on now. teachers in NC might not even make 1/2 that. I agree, that's not right, but 80k?! geez!!
if you have not seen "inside man" directed by spike lee you need to go see it RIGHT NOW. its not a game. the man is a genius. i love him anyway, but him, denzel, and clive owens showed their asses (in a good way). phenomenal. and if you are a regular reader you know i am very picky and kind of stuck up, esp. when it comes to my entertainment! examples? ok here, and here and how about here. so when i, as a filmmaker and journalist, tell you to go see a movie because it is cinematic genius, trust.
22 days until i am in charlotte, nc for the first time since july 8th. THANK GOD!!!
duke v. memphis. the model republican spewed some more foolishness. he went to memphis so claims memphis is a better team. this belief is based partly on memphis making it to the elite 8. wtf?? you beat the 13th seed, bradley to get there! get outta here. stop the madness. so then he's like i'm willing to bet you right now memphis will be better than duke next year. you're on. stop the madness.
duke women tonight, do the damn thing. win it all.
barry bonds. ok may or may not have done steroids. not a baseball fan so i'm not really caring either way. but "fans" have gone too far when they throw a SYRINGE at him on the field. are you kidding?!! that is foolishness. the black male athlete character assassinations are still rampant, in case you missed that memo.
smoking pregnant girl. there's one at work. that is ridiculous. if you don't care about your own health, can you care about your child's health? i hate to say trailer trash, but come on. my cousin loves her cigarettes, but she sure as hell quit while she was pregnant. and that fat baby proved that! lol. low birth weight and all sorts of defects is what you're setting your child up for. asthma. come on. that is ridiculous. so appalled.
aight i guess i'm done ranting and raving about everything and nothing. i'm sleepy. oh yeah and i love my boyfriend. he is wonderful.
How bout PA has some rich ass teachers. So they will strike anytime they feel. Don't like your contract? STRIKE! and the parents get all pissy and pressure the school district to just give 'em what they want. 80k. yeah, you read that right. there are teachers in the pittsburgh area who make 80k a year!! wtf?! i'm in the WRONG profession! are you kidding? and in one local district, they just approved a contract that gave the teachers an avg. yearly raise of 3.9%, again i say, WTF?!! now i have more than the avg. appreciation for teachers, but come on now. teachers in NC might not even make 1/2 that. I agree, that's not right, but 80k?! geez!!
if you have not seen "inside man" directed by spike lee you need to go see it RIGHT NOW. its not a game. the man is a genius. i love him anyway, but him, denzel, and clive owens showed their asses (in a good way). phenomenal. and if you are a regular reader you know i am very picky and kind of stuck up, esp. when it comes to my entertainment! examples? ok here, and here and how about here. so when i, as a filmmaker and journalist, tell you to go see a movie because it is cinematic genius, trust.
22 days until i am in charlotte, nc for the first time since july 8th. THANK GOD!!!
duke v. memphis. the model republican spewed some more foolishness. he went to memphis so claims memphis is a better team. this belief is based partly on memphis making it to the elite 8. wtf?? you beat the 13th seed, bradley to get there! get outta here. stop the madness. so then he's like i'm willing to bet you right now memphis will be better than duke next year. you're on. stop the madness.
duke women tonight, do the damn thing. win it all.
barry bonds. ok may or may not have done steroids. not a baseball fan so i'm not really caring either way. but "fans" have gone too far when they throw a SYRINGE at him on the field. are you kidding?!! that is foolishness. the black male athlete character assassinations are still rampant, in case you missed that memo.
smoking pregnant girl. there's one at work. that is ridiculous. if you don't care about your own health, can you care about your child's health? i hate to say trailer trash, but come on. my cousin loves her cigarettes, but she sure as hell quit while she was pregnant. and that fat baby proved that! lol. low birth weight and all sorts of defects is what you're setting your child up for. asthma. come on. that is ridiculous. so appalled.
aight i guess i'm done ranting and raving about everything and nothing. i'm sleepy. oh yeah and i love my boyfriend. he is wonderful.
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