Name Change

Name change articles aren't exactly rare on the internet.  But Sunday's WSJ installment was the first I'd read since marrying.  As a child, I always assumed I'd easily and happily change my name once I got married.  Why not?  I even used to practice my first name with the last name of whatever boy I had a crush on.  Yes, I was a teenage book series!  LOL  I also remember when after my parents' divorce, my mom considered changing her name and I balked because I wanted us to have the same last name.

Then as I got older and grew into the name I used to hate, not my last name as much as my first, I felt a great attachment to it.  Then once I made my first film with my maiden name, things really became strange.  My cousin the vet kept her name professionally when she married a few years ago.  I thought, seems like it would work for me, too.  And there's always the option of not legally changing your name, but occasionally going by it when it's most convenient.  But I kind of don't want to be half in and half out.  And I don't really want to lose any part of my name.  But to go by all of it seems cumbersome and pretentious and just not me.  My name was long enough already without adding another name to it.  But it looks like professionally, at least for a while, I'll be just that long name person.  Only one thing has remained the same from childhood to now-- I don't want a hyphenated name.

There is an unexpected joy, though in changing my name.  I will field fewer friend requests from people I don't want to friend anyway and it's a chance to start over.  I'm not running from the law or anything but the idea of disappearing a bit in a name change still has some appeal.  It's almost like you get to become a new person.  Like moving to a new city or state or country must do.  It's a new start navigating the world as you now know it.
  
As exhilarating as it was the first time I made a reservation under my new last name (I texted people!) LOL... I still feel a little sadness when I use it.  Like I say goodbye to old Jameil every time.  This is so melodramatic.  I really am mildly annoyed there's so much angst over changing your name. And halfway wish for the days when it was automatic.  Then there'd be no problem.

But the mild feminist in me won't sit down.  Why should I have to give up that part of me?  She scoffed when I tried to get Rashan to make the decision for me.  But he said he didn't care.  Smart move.  LOL  I'm sure I would have been annoyed with his answer either way.  So yes, I've changed my name on facebook, my grocery store rewards cards and a mag subscription or two.   And yes facebook has actually helped me become a little more used to my new last name.  But no, I have not tackled the larger name change tasks because I'm kind of still not sure.