W-W-W-Work It

Why does my father try to kill me every time we go on a walk together? I really don't understand. Hence the stuttering. Once we get done walking I get this fear that if I don't immediately stretch every single limb, I will wake up like a pretzel and be unable to untangle myself. This means standing stretches, sitting stretches, lying down stretches, leaning stretches.

This week I worked out at the gym on Monday and Wednesday. I did TaeBo on Thursday. YIKES!! Don't sleep on the TaeBo. I mean I already knew this. I learned it in college when I was less fit and was subsequently unable to use stairs for a week. I hadn't been able to work out regularly for 2 weeks prior to this week because of my wisdom teeth and then my trip to Florida. That meant kicking my own butt was not advisable. Friday, my dad and I went on a 45-minute walk. Today I can walk, but I'm also quite aware of my legs. WHAT I'M S'POSED TO DO ABOUT MY LEGS, CHARLAY MURPHAY?!?!

With my triumphant return to the gym and park, I've noticed some things I must speak out about.
* Thou shalt not wear a fanny pack under any circumstances. DON'T DO IT! RECONSIDER! READ SOME LITER.ATURE ON THE SUBJECT!
* Thou shalt not wear spandex shorts. I don't care what your physical condition is, it's just not attractive!!
* Thou shalt not wear belly shirts. Vomit. If you are overweight, it's just unappealing to the eye and can't make you feel good about yourself. If you are fit, you're just showing off.
* Thou shalt not talk on your cell phone the entire time you are there. Look, if you can't take an hour out of your "busy pants dropping schedule" (name that movie!!) to work on your fitness, minus the phone, there is a problem. But guess what? We're too far from downtown for your work to really run your life like that so I know it's not work related. That means, YOUR MOM CAN WAIT!!
* Thou shalt not move slower than the speed of sound. Dude. How will you ever get in shape when you're being lapped by the lady with the cane who's here for physical therapy? Are you not ashamed to let someone's not fit grandmother show you up like that!?!?
* Thou shalt not stare. Can I do squats without you eyeing my nether regions? YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO BE MY GRANDFATHER, YA NASTY!! Sigh. This is why I do half of my stretches in the locker room and that ain't right!!


PAJNSTL said...

Lmao @ Pop's! You know that's all he can look at these days! Lol

Vdizzle said...

I hate nasty old men too!! I got sized up by a chubby FedEx man the other day. He almost got told!!

La said...

I need some of your enthusiasm for the gym, lol

CNEL said...

LoL now you know eye candy and motivation are synonymous!

Stacie von Kutieboots said...

so jameil, when you're wearing a two piece swimsuit, you're not showing off ON PURPOSE??

Your walks with your dad always crack me up!!!

jameil1922 said...

pajnstl... vomit!!!

v... let's burn them all!!

la... come on! you can be my workout partner!

cnel... no!! no no no!!

stace... how are the beach and the gym the same? the gym is about getting or staying in shape, not how great you look. the beach is about getting in the water and you're in the sun. people wearing lots of clothes on the beach look crazy. would you ever say about someone at the gym: omg they are wearing so many clothes?!?! people do look crazy when they have hoodies on, but its not that unusual. don't try me miss NEVER BEEN TO THE GYM A DAY IN HER LIFE.

the joy said...

last time i wore spandex i was 11. anyone older than 11 better be a professional biker or they will get a talkin to.

you clearly watch alot of movies, cuz i dont know that one.

yet another black guy said...

you crack me UP!

Anonymous said...

"busy pants dropping schedule"

Marky Mark LOL!
(Clearly I know that movie) :)

Soldier said...


There is so much happening @ parks/gyms... especially for boys... especially in the locker room... u dont wanna know... (naked old men bending over, touching their toes to "stretch their back" right when YOU are walking by, eww)

p.s : people should be slapped with their own fanny packs so they would understand that those things cannot be existing

1969 said...

I feel ya on this whole entire list!!!!

Don said...

Haha, not bad. I enjoyed the read.

lol @ what la said.

dreamyj said...

i feel you on the work out pain! my hips are aching from the running i've been doing on the treadmill at my gym!

jameil1922 said...

joy... CLUELESS!! love that movie. i have spandex IN my workout gear which is fine but rockin the spandex shorts is not the business.

black... lololol

real talk... YESSSSS!!

soldier... oh the hilarity of fanny pack smacking! the locker room info is too much!!

69 & don lololol

dreamy...oooh. running and treadmills. two bad words for me! i don't do either one!