2.19.2010

State of Evolution

These last few weeks have served to help me adjust my ideas about how I will help generations after me in a teaching capacity.  With the amount of lectures I've done on top of my other work, I feel energized, but a little overwhelmed, too.  Not paralyzingly so, but just enough to make me rethink my position.  I still definitely want to go to Wake in the fall because it's a great opportunity.  I also know I want to teach one day.  But I'm also now pretty sure I do not want to be a full-time instructor.  I'd much rather be an artist in residence, adjunct professor or part-time professor with one or two classes.  I also want to be able to offer internships to the most promising students to come work with me.  I think that would be really cool. 

But I don't like working with lazy people who don't take their work seriously.  You're here to learn.  If you're not that interested, leave.  It's really the worst in the required courses because you get these people who really could care less and it shows.  But with the people who care, I really enjoy seeing them put forth effort and come up with some interesting and creative ideas.  It's also cool knowing they'll be out there making an impact on how news will be disseminated.  So in summary, I still want to teach, but probably not full-time. 

And I definitely want to get more documentary experience.  I also, much to the chagrin of some who shall remain nameless, feel pulled to write a book about the Civil Rights Movement, specifically those names you've never heard of, perhaps directly related to my thesis film.  Which means... I may seriously consider pursuing the PhD in African American Studies I've always wanted.  Yes, I want to work in documentary, but I also sincerely believe in the importance of recording our history.  It is disheartening to have such difficulty putting together historical records of events and to know there are so many people all over the world who ARE black history but whose stories are completely unknown and could be lost forever when they die.  I feel compelled to grab these stories before they disappear and simultaneously dumbfounded by the magnitude of such a desire.

5 comments:

Ginae said...

If you are feeling pulled and compelled (very powerful feelings) than you should go with it...you are obviously feeling this way for a reason.

I'd love to read a book like the one you want to write. But I want an autographed copy k?

Sparkling Red said...

I spent one year as a full-time teacher and I found it very tough going. Ditto for a friend of mine who taught high school for two years and then went back to school herself. She's now working on her PhD thesis. Your dreams are too important to get sidetracked or sucked dry by the demands of too many students.

Therapeutic Musings said...

I can't wait to have your book on my coffee table and make it required reading for houseguests!

Ladynay said...

Trust your gut!

P.S. You're awesome!

Addendum: I want my copy of your book autographed too!

Jameil said...

ginae... we'll see. autographed copies for all, i see!

red... i completely understand. i have several friends who are teachers... at schools with frighteningly low levels of parent involvement which means they're churning out future delinquents and people who will barely be able to read. horrific.

tm... awww! thx!

lady... yeah i know. there are just too many competing voices. THANKS!!