"I'm Fat"

"My momma said this just baby fat."
"No, that's just fat baby."
-- "Moesha" episode

Every day I hear someone lament about their size. Some of them are a size 8 or a size 6 or 4, and yes, even a size 2. 2!!! I've never had a body image problem. I saw what I was and just accepted it. Even when I wasn't this small. There is nothing like hearing a skinny person say they're fat. It bothers me when anyone calls themself fat. Look, you are who you are. Self-hatred and self-deprecation will never help whether you like your weight or want to change it.

You know that "does this make me look fat" thing that stereotypically women say and stereotypically men hate? It's just as annoying to me. Because rarely does the person want the truth and I'm going to tell you. I don't ask that question because I'm gonna hit you in the mouth if you say I look fat. No matter what size I am! :)

It's no secret I work out a lot. At least 3 times a week. It's only Monday and I've already been twice! Holla! If I ate better my body would respond even better to exercise. But many days, I'd rather sleep, blog, talk on the phone or read than stand over a stove. Especially after working and going to the gym and running whatever errands I need to run. Of course there are days when I rock out, but sometimes I just don't feel like it!!! Which means fast food. Whatever.

Going to the gym makes me far more body concious than I was a year ago. That does NOT mean I think I'm fat. It DOES mean I look in the mirror (or any reflective surface) too much (lmao! me and my Hampton friends would say "As if!!" you can't look in the mirror too much ever!!) with my stomach exposed or just looking at the overall effect and talk about the gym a lot. I like having people at work I can talk about my borderline gym fanaticism. I CAN'T STAND people who are smaller than me talking about their bitterness about their bodies. It's unnecessary.

I bought a bikini for my upcoming trips! And it is TOO cute! Like its new owner! :) One person I showed it to told me she wouldn't be wearing a bikini any time soon. WHY praytell not after you worked so hard to regain your shape after pregnancy???? Own your body!!!!! And I mean that for everyone. You are not fat, but I'm not going to spend any more time telling you that. If you don't believe you're beautiful, no one else will.


(BTW I was a guest blogger on The Beach Chair. He's not slick. I know he just wanted me to tease to his website but yay anyway!!!)


Victoria Page said...

I too, am not a fan of the size 0 person carrying on about how "big" their thighs are. Sometimes I think people do that because they need a self-esteem boost.
This really made me think. I am usually not a body conscience person. We are all made different and we should celebrate that, not tear it down. I have been antagonizing over my weight the last 3 months for one reason....I have a wedding dress to wear in 9 months. If it wasn't for that I probably could care less. But I really shouldn't care....because I will still be fly in at least one person's eyes that day...and that's the only person who matters.
Good Post!

CNEL said...

Apparently I told one of my co-workers when I was a little buzzed to loose 20 lbs.
Then I retracted that and told her to just calm down, cause its more about how one carries oneself.
You're exactly right its about personal esteem, and the value you place in yourself.

So...Wise...Sista said...

Uhhhh, sometimes people really are effing fat!

Cute bikini!

Mademoiselle M said...

I had a lot of thoughts after reading this post. First n foremost, I have become one of those people you hate. I never was very conscious or uncomfortable with my body (b/c i was so skinny), even in high school when all the skinny W girls used to call themselves fat all the time. Actually, I used to hate hearing it too. But it got to a point within the last two years where I was... GASP... gaining weight! I needed to become aware of what I was eating and how much I excercised. But I was never dedicated. So when those extra ten pounds or so simply sat in the most disgusting of places (tummy and inside thigh area) to remind me all day that I had gained weight I slowly turned into "that" person.

Being that person I think has pissed me off more than even my boyfriend, though. It has forced me to start going to the gym and to be dedicated to the cause. I'm definitely not fat or overweight. I'm just not pleased with what I see because I know that I can change it. So being that person isn't so bad for me I guess. It's a phase thats pushing me to get up everymorning and work out. I intend to continue even when I reach my goal- less frequently of course. Now, like you, I want to work on the healthy eating part. I'm good at staying away from fast food at least ...well most of the time ;)

That was long but I told you that you had me thinkin! Great post girl.

jameil1922 said...

first let me say I HATE WISE!!!!

page... i was watching glamour wedding dos and donts and it said you shouldn't drive yourself crazy to get down to some insane size. yes, you want to look fab but you also want to look like yourself. i'm sure it will be fantastic!

cnel... you should be flogged for that one. a man telling a woman how fat she is or that she needs to lose weight is one of my pet peeves. RIDICULOUS. very disappointing. and you have a twin sister. i want her to beat you.

WISE!! you are out of order!! we are not talking about morbidly obese folk here. we are talking about people who've never set foot in a plus size section in life but steady calling themselves fat. *smh but also lmao!!!!!*

mm... glad i could get you thinkin! i don't think there's anything wrong with being body concious. its when you're body obsessed that becomes a problem. if you're not concious of what you look like, you could end up going down an unhealthy road. i work out because i want to be healthy, but also because i want to look good and continue to accumulate clothes in the same size, eventually having the most clothes i've ever seen in my life in one closet without spending a fortune every year.

i eat healthy sometimes. its just so much harder to eat conveniently and healthily simultaneously.

Royce's Daughter said...

LMAO!! @ Wise, but I'm sorry I gotta agree. Some people REALLY REALLY ARE Awwwwwwwwww!

some shyt is just unhealthy and to deny the fact that you are fat (when you are) is simply NOT a good look. On the other hand, when you are wearing a size -0 (like one of my girlfriends actually wears ISWEARTAGAWD) and you're talking about how awful your stomach looks you should be flogged...PERIOD!

shani-o said...

I get annoyed with people who are obsessed with their size - a lot of whom I saw when I worked at Banana Republic. These women were beautiful 4s and 6s and 8s, and they were complaining about how they couldn't fit into the 00 (that's right, not only is there a 0, but there's an even smaller size - double-zero).

And yeah... I'm with Wise. I was watching Tyra's "So What" campaign, and while I think it's cool to teach girls that they should be ok with who they are and what they look like, I'm afraid the bigger message coming across is that it's ok to be obese.

Which it isn't... not because of what people think of you, but because of your health. People aren't supposed to be grossly overweight, we were evolved to live in a semi-starvation mode, but with the glut of food available we're getting fat.

I am overweight according to the BMI, and I'm started my own workout plan this morning which I'm really excited about... hence the long post, lol.

Sha Boogie said...

I LOVE your attitude about loving your body. I am just coming into mine since going to the gym and realizing I am a sexy mofo!..lol..

Which is one of the main reason I wanted to do carnival so I could finally wear a two piece in public, like my coming out...haha

yet another black guy said...

at least the chicks on this page are all exercising. i have 4 sisters, and all of them prescribe to the, "i'll just skip a meal" idea when they think they've put on weight. actually one has completely given up the fight.

i've always been around body conscious women and it's a head scratcher. believe me, there's a dude somewhere that you don't even know is watching you, licking his lips like, "She JUST don't know...."

Tasha said...

Thanks for this post. There are far too many size -4 women walking around talking about their bony bodies are too fat. I can't stand it. And then they look at women who have great self-images like they're the antichrist. Sinc when is feeling good about yourself such a bad thing???

Stacie von Kutieboots said...

you know i'm in deeeep love with your swimsuit right? that thing is MAAAH-VELOUS!!

Lola Gets said...

When I worked at the TV Station, one of the skinny heifers came to me and sung me a song she made up about her not-ready-for-bathing-suit-body. Chickie looked like she wore a size 4-6. I told her that if she just went to nudist beaches/functions, she wouldnt have that problem!

Hell, thats what I do, lol.


Royce's Daughter said...

I Tagged You! My blog for details...*sorry*

Ladynay said...

You should post a pic of your new swim suit!

As a morbidly obese person whose never stepped foot in anything but the plus sized section of a store, I will just say with you being a smaller female thinking that way, just imagine what a real fat person thinks when that size double zero says anything is fat! LOL You just wanna shot them and be like SHUT THE FUCK UP! ROFL

The Detective said...

Well, what do you call a person that's overweight? Fat=overweight right.. just like nappy=kinky.

Either way, good post...gives one a lot to think about.

So...Wise...Sista said...

Naw for real, even if a person APPEARS slender, they know something you dont...and its not always an image issue. Some chicks, like me, are slim, but have some pesky problem areas that people cant see. It's kinda annoying when people ask me why I work out (as if it has nothing to do with me also wanting to be healthy)

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

your bikini is scoring high points.


Bklyn Diva said...

awh shucks.. pics in the bikini please and thank you!!! LOL

I'm working on my bikini body for my trip in October.. I did the tankini for the cruise LOL



Bklyn Diva said...

oh and since Roycee got you then you got to give me another 8!!!


Miss Yasmine said...