I hate hair. It's such a ridiculous point of contention, particularly for women. I'm very adamant in my belief that hair is a personal choice. That means I do not invite your opinions when it comes to mine, nor will I join your condemnation against someone else when it comes to theirs. Of course I mean style. If your hair is looking a bit raggedy, and you ask, I'll gladly give you my opinion, regardless of the style.
When I "went natural" or "broke free of the evil clutches of the perm," it was my choice. There was no judgement or grand statement about my strength or a lack of strength on the part of women who choose to perm. I did it because I was sick of perming my hair and bored with it. The upkeep was driving me insane. Plus I had no idea what my natural texture feels like. That's the only depressing thing to me about our perm culture. Before I cut my hair, on August 17, 2003, I was 20 years old and couldn't remember what my perm-free hair felt like. It had been that long. My friend who'd cut her hair years earlier told me it would feel nothing like your "new growth." True indeed. My hair was much softer and curlier than whatever that was sprouting from my scalp. Sometimes it's annoyingly soft and throws temper tantrums "I WILL NOT STAY IN THAT STYLE AND YOU CANNOT MAKE ME," it says. Whatever.
One time a guy said to me, after I cut my hair, "I love your hair like that. You're just so deep and listen to Jill Scott and stuff like that." I stopped in my tracks like wow... is he really this slow? Have you learned nothing from India Arie?
I definitely won't be shaving my hair because I have no desire to at any point be mistaken for a man, but I understand the frustration that could lead up to it. When people were getting on Britney, I kind of understood where she was coming from. Sometimes you just get to a point where it's like, "So what? It's just hair." And it is. It grows back. The dude who swore out I was so deep, I quickly put him in place, "Umm... no. Don't get it twisted. Yeah I like Jill, but I always have. And I still like UGK and 36." (I was going through my "YES I AM SOUTHERN HEAR ME ROOOOOOAR" phase). Hair doesn't make us who we are, but it can shape how we feel about ourselves.
I've been thinking about getting a perm. I know, I know. QUEL HORREUR!! One woman at work acted like I told her I was going to commit suicide. Relax. It's just hair. If I don't like it, I can just cut it short and start over again. I'll miss my hair, of course. Any kind of change has the potential to breed a sadness or sorts. I want to try something different. I love Rihanna (that song is annoying, she can't sing or dance) and Kelis' haircuts. I've always loved Nia Long's haircuts. So I figure I can try a few of those or just one and then come back to what I like but right now I'm just BORED!! Something's gotta give.
I would also like to try some color. A red maybe, since if I'm in the sun enough in the summer (which I nearly never am) it turns red anyway. One thing I really like about my hair is the type of guys I attract. I don't want to stop attracting guys with dreds because I LOVE them. It's not like guys with dreds are only attracted to girls w/natural hair, but it certainly doesn't hurt! The one time I dated a model my friends all drooled over (he wasn't my type but I went out with him because my friends thought he was gorgeous... that's a fantastic story... I'll relay that one soon), he said he loved my hair. It was about a week after I cut it, so that was really cool. I was apprehensive about how guys would react to my hair, but I got some really good feedback. Ultimately, though, it won't impact what I decide.